Four years off-update

At four years off I am definitely better but not better enough.  Most everything has just slowly ramped down in intensity.  I presume that's the course my healing will take for the remainder of this disaster.  I am currently in a wave right now and the intensity is a 1-2 instead of a 8-9.  It is all very manageable but still annoying as hell.  The main symptoms remaining which aren't that much improved are sensitivities.  I have sensitivities to foods, meds, and exercise.  I also have terrible muscle stiffness and head/eye issues. 

On the positive side, anxiety and panics are minimal to no bother most of the time.  I am able to have meetings at work for about an hour before I start getting symptoms which is huge.  I can drive anywhere, go into shops, restaurants, etc. 

I really still can't drink.  I tried 4oz of beer a few weeks ago and my symptoms came back such as sweating, swirling thoughts, etc...just not worth it.  Tried CBD for pain and pretty sure symptoms ramped too.  I prepare all of my food and eat nothing processed as it's just not worth how I feel after.

If I maintain a mellow life and don't subject myself to any type of stimulation I am mostly fine.  The problem is that this isn't life.  I am not depressed about this anymore as I can see the healing and I am not sure if I will ever be the same, but my life on the drugs was unsustainable.  It is what it is.

The first 2 sentences of your last paragraph is exactly how it is for me, too

Hope it all goes away sooner than later for you

Hi Drew. I'm glad to see you have improved but wish it was better for you. None of us expected it would take so long to recover. Our paths crossed when we were tapering. I remember your celebratory trip to Hawaii after your jump and was inspired to continue my own taper. I'm nearly three years free....what a long difficult trek! I'm better too but have a long way to go.

You've healed a great deal and more will come. It is a tremendous lesson in acceptance and patience. I wish you a full recovery.

Carita

Drew, hey buddy, I have followed your posts since our earlier days. Drew, it will get better, at 49 months off, I still notice improvements, it is just a slow process. But the worst is behind you, the horror of WD is behind you, just a little more fine tuning.....I promise you, it does get better and better even after the 4 year mark.

Always, cindy