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My first moment when I've seriously considered reinstating my Clonazepam!


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I'm halfway through my taper and my withdrawal symptoms have basically just started a few weeks ago. Major symptom is lack of sleep and with that a list of problems. When I don't sleep my whole life just doesn't work. I can't think clearly, I'm irritated, no motivation to even get out of bed, I'm not eating either... I just don't care. This is how I get when I'm severely tired and I've always been this way. I've been trying to deal with it and just live life tired but truth be known... I'm failing and I'm reading other messages which say that even after the drug is out of our system... it could be five years BEFORE I feel normal or start to sleep! Really? I embarked on this journey to feel better NOT to struggle with insomnia and a horrible life for half a decade maybe longer! I'm possibly a little older then most people here and there's no guarantee that I will live much longer and I'm figuring... is this worth it? I'm sorry that I'm sounding negative but I'm fed up and I wasn't expecting this. I listened to just about every YouTube video I could find before my taper and heard just about everyone that tapered say they felt better. I didn't hear one person say they were struggling like this and if I would have known this I probably would have thought twice! I'm not even done with my taper and I'm already thinking this was a mistake. I'm miserable tonight.  I really do not need another person telling me to just "live with sleep deprivation" etc. cause I'm tired of hearing that! It doesn't work for me... I have to sleep!!!! Period. If it's going to continue this way I'm going to

updose and call it quits. I'm tired of being tired and the quality of my life sucks!!! :'(

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Hello RR :hug:

 

Its sad to see you struggling, and I know you are probably sick of the word "It gets better" I was!  I was also sick of being sick, but I kept on going because the words "it gets better" stuck in my head!  Reinstating might not make things any better for you, please stick it out a little longer.  Many of us have been where you are now with sleep issues, I went days without sleep.  Insomnia makes every other symptom worse, it will take a bit of time but your sleep will return!

 

You have to keep pushing forward, tapering/withdrawal is relentless but it will be worth it I promise you,  I am still here, I survived It, it took 2 years to completely heal but i was feeling much better long before that.

 

Hang in there

Magrita :smitten:

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I just responded to another post. I tried to taper twice when my father was dying and it didn't work--it wasn't the right time.

 

You have suffered a tremendous loss recently, and grief is hard.

 

If you do reinstate, don't be hard on yourself. Give yourself time to heal; you can always taper later.

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NJstrength its NEVER the right time for me. I've been trying to get off this drug for a decade... and it's always something. I'm halfway through... been doing a water titration and that taper method is very time consuming and difficult. I spent a long time coming up with a plan, getting all the materials for the taper and finally started last year. I'm not going to quit but I might start a Valium cross-over in a couple of months. In the meantime I'm trying to find something/anything to help with sleep.  It's been suggested that I take Unisom, Benadryl, Melatonin, Valerian, several different vitamins and even CBD oil.  Maybe something will work. It's weird that places like "pointofreturn" and several other programs use supplements (I have never tried them) yet there are articles posted on this forum saying that the supplements don't work! How can there be so many good reviews on that addiction recovery site if it doesn't work and how can they stay in business? Usually places that don't work don't stay around.  I'm just very confused and stunned that nothing helps with Benzo withdrawal and the only option is to suffer for years. Makes no sense.  ???>:(:-\:-[ :'(
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Hi RaquelRocks :smitten:

 

You break my heart with what you are going through :( . As there is nothing permanent in our world, sufferings will pass too. Today you get the feeling that everything is terribly hard and you can't move on. But every cloud has a silver lining and who knows what tomorrow reserves for us? You have gone a big part of a long journey, now let's do the rest.

 

Don't give up. This would come to add another error to the error of ingesting first benzo.

 

:hug:

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Thank you Jim Hawk... you've been a gem here for myself and many people.  I have a long way to go and am pretty much convinced to do the Valium cross-over like Heather Ashton recommends. I did more reading on the Ashton Manual and method last night. I didn't sleep all night and now it's almost 11am and I have been laying in bed for hours with no sleep. This has been going on for days and I'm exhausted. I have cancelled many appts, a date and don't anything but stay home. This has effected every inch of my life and I'm thinking possibly the Valium will make this a little more tolerable and since I won't be using it long I can taper it faster. It just seems like the best option. Initially I didn't want to use any other drug or supplement but I wasn't ready for insomnia and sleep deprivation. This sucks.  Thanks for your post.  :'(
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Are you currently taking the 0.25 mg klonopin as a pill or as a water suspension? I didnt know you were doing a water titration. I am concerned that water is not a good solvent for benzos as they are not soluble. If you are currently taking the 0.25 as a fraction of a pill (eg. half of a 0.5 mg pill) then dont worry about the past. Just know you are ok now and you are doing the right thing in looking for a new way forward.

 

It does suck. It is hard. But it is worth it. Reinstating was a terrible idea for me. I soon got to the point where I realized I had to taper again, and each time the withdrawal was harder. I'm not saying that to scare you, just to help you know that you are on the right path. Not everyone takes years to recover. Please dont give up now.

 

One thing I found with insomnia while tapering is that it can change literally overnight (haha). If you got one good night sleep I think it would be easier to forge ahead. Tonight could be the night!

 

Please consider what I wrote on your other thread.

 

You got this.

JKS

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I do liquid titration and I use alcohol (0.5 ml) as a solvent with 100 ml's of water. I am aware that water alone does not work. My solution is VERY dissolved when I drink my dose! No worries there... just this side effect... insomnia. I've been on Clonazepam since 2005. That's a long time and I had a tolerance to it so it wasn't even working and I wasn't about to increase the dose. I'm thinking that the Valium cross-over will be the best plan for me and I can taper both the "C" and "V" in about 6-months with the liquid titration. Hopefully! Thank you.  ::)
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I do use supplements (melatonin, magnesium, ltheanine and CBD oil much less frequently). I did also do the Point of Return program and that for me did not work at all. The ones I use now all have benefit for sleep, except the CBD oil that I use for nausea.

 

I am sorry if my post came off as discouraging at tapering now. I just know for me personally life stress has really revved all of my symptoms (sent my son off to college last summer, my mom has a severe neurological condition and lives at quite a distance, I just changed jobs). I just think the grief could be revving your symptoms now. It is often impossible to determine what is stress and what is withdrawal. Grief can cause anxiety just like benzo withdrawal can.

 

I wish you the best of luck and good sleep.

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I do use supplements (melatonin, magnesium, ltheanine and CBD oil much less frequently). I did also do the Point of Return program and that for me did not work at all. The ones I use now all have benefit for sleep, except the CBD oil that I use for nausea.

 

I am sorry if my post came off as discouraging at tapering now. I just know for me personally life stress has really revved all of my symptoms (sent my son off to college last summer, my mom has a severe neurological condition and lives at quite a distance, I just changed jobs). I just think the grief could be revving your symptoms now. It is often impossible to determine what is stress and what is withdrawal. Grief can cause anxiety just like benzo withdrawal can.

 

I wish you the best of luck and good sleep.

 

What do you use for sleep? I wasn't sure what you meant in your text. I've read different articles on Melatonin, Valerian and even magnesium saying they don't work so I'm Leary in spending money on those. I also read that Melatonin is known to cause blood clots and I already have circulation issues so I don't want to risk that.  Seems like no matter what you take or eat there's always a side effect! Leaves a person not knowing what to do.  :idiot:

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I do use supplements (melatonin, magnesium, ltheanine and CBD oil much less frequently). I did also do the Point of Return program and that for me did not work at all. The ones I use now all have benefit for sleep, except the CBD oil that I use for nausea.

 

I am sorry if my post came off as discouraging at tapering now. I just know for me personally life stress has really revved all of my symptoms (sent my son off to college last summer, my mom has a severe neurological condition and lives at quite a distance, I just changed jobs). I just think the grief could be revving your symptoms now. It is often impossible to determine what is stress and what is withdrawal. Grief can cause anxiety just like benzo withdrawal can.

 

I wish you the best of luck and good sleep.

 

What do you use for sleep? I wasn't sure what you meant in your text. I've read different articles on Melatonin, Valerian and even magnesium saying they don't work so I'm Leary in spending money on those. I also read that Melatonin is known to cause blood clots and I already have circulation issues so I don't want to risk that.  Seems like no matter what you take or eat there's always a side effect! Leaves a person not knowing what to do.  :idiot:

 

I have a blood clotting disorder and have used melatonin for years with no problem. For sleep I have used melatonin, magnesium, and ltheanine. I believe my underlying sleep and anxiety issues are caused by a magnesium deficiency. Lots of research on link between magnesium and anxiety. Some cannot take it but with everything I say start off low and then increase, and only try one thing at a time.

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I do use supplements (melatonin, magnesium, ltheanine and CBD oil much less frequently). I did also do the Point of Return program and that for me did not work at all. The ones I use now all have benefit for sleep, except the CBD oil that I use for nausea.

 

I am sorry if my post came off as discouraging at tapering now. I just know for me personally life stress has really revved all of my symptoms (sent my son off to college last summer, my mom has a severe neurological condition and lives at quite a distance, I just changed jobs). I just think the grief could be revving your symptoms now. It is often impossible to determine what is stress and what is withdrawal. Grief can cause anxiety just like benzo withdrawal can.

 

I wish you the best of luck and good sleep.

 

What do you use for sleep? I wasn't sure what you meant in your text. I've read different articles on Melatonin, Valerian and even magnesium saying they don't work so I'm Leary in spending money on those. I also read that Melatonin is known to cause blood clots and I already have circulation issues so I don't want to risk that.  Seems like no matter what you take or eat there's always a side effect! Leaves a person not knowing what to do.  :idiot:

 

I have a blood clotting disorder and have used melatonin for years with no problem. For sleep I have used melatonin, magnesium, and ltheanine. I believe my underlying sleep and anxiety issues are caused by a magnesium deficiency. Lots of research on link between magnesium and anxiety. Some cannot take it but with everything I say start off low and then increase, and only try one thing at a time.

 

What kind of mag do you take? I took a liquid because I was told it absorbed better a few months ago and I had to take it back.  I felt really weird on it, had diarrhea, a headache and my mouth was really dry.  I don't know what mag to take.  The one I tried was top of the line and expensive...the one that people purchased the most from the health food store.  :-[

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I take the Dr. Dean (she wrote the magnesium miracle book) remag liquid magnesium. Honestly, if magnesium gives you gi issues, which is not uncommon, you can also use topical magnesium. I sometimes use magnesium oil, spray it on my legs 20 minutes before bed, then wash it off (it burns) and I sleep very well those nights. Epsom salt baths are another way to get magnesium without actually consuming it.
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Updosing was an abject failure for me. And I never saw anyone get substantial long term relief from any supplements. A sedating AD like a TCA or remeron might help.
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I was given Gabapentin today! The pdoc said absolutely NO to the Valium cross-over... said he was NOT going to give me both V and C. He told me to pick one. Of course I said forget it regarding the Valium.  He suggested Remeron and I can't take that and an anti-depressant and I said HELL NO! So I settled for GabaP since I have two friends that take it and swear by it. I don't know.. things don't work for me. I'm not going to take the dose he recommended. I'm only going to take a small amount and only occasionally while trying natural things like the mag, Melatonin, etc.  I have to go forward now because he cut my Clonazepam in half... there's no turning back for me. I'm going to get off these dang Benzo's!!! What a hassle!!! They should be banned!!!! :tickedoff::boxer:  :nono:
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Updosing was an abject failure for me. And I never saw anyone get substantial long term relief from any supplements. A sedating AD like a TCA or remeron might help.

 

But everyone is different. I found substantial relief from an updose and hold and am having good results with supplements. It is trial and error for everyone.

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I take the Dr. Dean (she wrote the magnesium miracle book) remag liquid magnesium. Honestly, if magnesium gives you gi issues, which is not uncommon, you can also use topical magnesium. I sometimes use magnesium oil, spray it on my legs 20 minutes before bed, then wash it off (it burns) and I sleep very well those nights. Epsom salt baths are another way to get magnesium without actually consuming it.

 

Hey, I ordered Dr. Deans mag and I am waiting for it to arrive.  I cannot wait to try it.  Her products look amazing and thanks for the recommendation! :smitten::thumbsup:

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I take the Dr. Dean (she wrote the magnesium miracle book) remag liquid magnesium. Honestly, if magnesium gives you gi issues, which is not uncommon, you can also use topical magnesium. I sometimes use magnesium oil, spray it on my legs 20 minutes before bed, then wash it off (it burns) and I sleep very well those nights. Epsom salt baths are another way to get magnesium without actually consuming it.

 

Hey, I ordered Dr. Deans mag and I am waiting for it to arrive.  I cannot wait to try it.  Her products look amazing and thanks for the recommendation! :smitten::thumbsup:

 

Good luck. Start slow with anything you use.

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I take the Dr. Dean (she wrote the magnesium miracle book) remag liquid magnesium. Honestly, if magnesium gives you gi issues, which is not uncommon, you can also use topical magnesium. I sometimes use magnesium oil, spray it on my legs 20 minutes before bed, then wash it off (it burns) and I sleep very well those nights. Epsom salt baths are another way to get magnesium without actually consuming it.

 

Hey, I ordered Dr. Deans mag and I am waiting for it to arrive.  I cannot wait to try it.  Her products look amazing and thanks for the recommendation! :smitten::thumbsup:

 

 

 

 

 

Good luck. Start slow with anything you use.

 

Oh definitely..not sure what works or what doesn't while on this crazy taper.  :(

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