Im starting month 22 - am I healed?

am I healed??

 

Most of the days I feel me perfect and so healthy.

 

almost 2 years eating healthy, exercice, 5htp and positive thoughts.

 

All the extreme  symptoms are gone (OCD,panic,depression,anxiety,insomnia,physical problems...).

 

When Im tired I can have some weird thoughts and wd related feelings... but most of the time Im ok and life seems totally different.

 

I dont have insomnia anymore. Im not tired. I have ocnstant energy along the day. My cognitive skills are perfect. My memory is as never was...

 

I had a wave 2 weeks ago... now my windows are fully 100% (110%?) healed and my waves are like 99%. And I would say 90% of the time during a week I feel me healed.

 

I will wait some more weeks.... to see what happens. If my mental state is the same, I will consider myself healed... (Even I know my systems still healing...) 

 

Healing happens!

 

I'd say that your recovery certainly looks good.  Congratulations!

 

Be sure to write a success story.

I'm happy for you...and jealous. I'm at 22 months now and I'm one month and one week into a massive setback wave. I hope I feel as you do soon.

That sounds like healed to me 

 

If you don't mind me asking, how much 5-htp did you take and what time of day?

 

 

You sound very close or are healed! Congrats and I hope to be in closing in on that too. 

This is great news!! you deserve it!

I'm happy for you...and jealous. I'm at 22 months now and I'm one month and one week into a massive setback wave. I hope I feel as you do soon.

 

I’m hoping for you too Chi, I’ve always read your posts and have gained a lot. I’ve also nitived how far you’ve come and how hard you’ve fought. I have a feeling you’re going to “wake up healed” not too far from now.

That sounds like healed to me 

 

If you don't mind me asking, how much 5-htp did you take and what time of day?

 

50 after the dinner

Thanks, T. I hope so. I hope you heal soon, too.

Glad to hear you are doing so well! Hope you feel 100% all the time very soon

Great news buddy!

Dear Healthfirst,

 

Thank you so much for all your Details, have just come across all your Reports. So good that you feel good.

 

My biggest Problems: Intrusive, obsessive thoughts about things I did do wrong in the past before I got my high anxity/Panic and that my way of thinking is completely different from that of other benzo People, therefore I will never heal, it's me. These thoughts and Feelings of guilt make my heart race, stomach cramp, use the toilet over and over again, so that I don't want to leave the house. Meanwhile almost everything triggers my thoughts and Feelings. This morning I could hardly sleep, then woke up with a Panic attack.

 

I' m in month 6 off Lorazepam and have started tapering venlafaxine in Febr. 2018.

 

Did you also have These Feelings of guilt which trigger anxiety and plenty of trigger?

 

I would be glad if you could answer me.

 

Thanks and best wishes

Buxi

Hi Healthfirst, you are always so upbeat, so happy for you to be feeling healed (almost)

 

2trusting

Dear Healthfirst,

 

Thank you so much for all your Details, have just come across all your Reports. So good that you feel good.

 

My biggest Problems: Intrusive, obsessive thoughts about things I did do wrong in the past before I got my high anxity/Panic and that my way of thinking is completely different from that of other benzo People, therefore I will never heal, it's me. These thoughts and Feelings of guilt make my heart race, stomach cramp, use the toilet over and over again, so that I don't want to leave the house. Meanwhile almost everything triggers my thoughts and Feelings. This morning I could hardly sleep, then woke up with a Panic attack.

 

I' m in month 6 off Lorazepam and have started tapering venlafaxine in Febr. 2018.

 

Did you also have These Feelings of guilt which trigger anxiety and plenty of trigger?

 

I would be glad if you could answer me.

 

Thanks and best wishes

Buxi

 

hey,

 

yes, I had these kinds of thoughts. (and much more)

 

Everything you think is distorced and anxious. You have to ignore your feelings. They are just out of the normal human boundary.

 

If the thought comes and you feel the bad feelings with it, fix it during some time in your head and feel the feeling until it fades.. and do this everytime it happen... dont try to pass to the next thought to avod it (aka compulsion), what matters it the trigger and remove the wrong feeling that come with it.

 

Hi Healthfirst, you are always so upbeat, so happy for you to be feeling healed (almost)

 

2trusting

 

thank you

Dear HealthFirst,

thank you so very much for your quick reply.

I guess my problem is that I don't know how to separate all these thoughts from my emotions. They seem to come up at once, almost simultaneously as if they were connected. I know they are various methods of disconnecting but nothing seems to work for me.

I am getting desperate. I think you can understand my Problems.

 

All the best to you and my warmest wishes

Buxi

Dear HealthFirst,

thank you so very much for your quick reply.

I guess my problem is that I don't know how to separate all these thoughts from my emotions. They seem to come up at once, almost simultaneously as if they were connected. I know they are various methods of disconnecting but nothing seems to work for me.

I am getting desperate. I think you can understand my Problems.

 

All the best to you and my warmest wishes

Buxi

 

Can you explain it better? You have the thought, and then you recognize is intrusive. So what it wrong? The fact you have it? and the feelings that come with them?

 

Its normal things dont work when they are so intense. But your logic is there. So keep practicing the methods. Maybe you didnt found the right one or you didnt analyse your thoughts in the right way 

 

 

Dear HealthFirst,

thank you so very much for your quick reply.

I guess my problem is that I don't know how to separate all these thoughts from my emotions. They seem to come up at once, almost simultaneously as if they were connected. I know they are various methods of disconnecting but nothing seems to work for me.

I am getting desperate. I think you can understand my Problems.

 

All the best to you and my warmest wishes

Buxi

 

Buxi - I don't think it's easy (and perhaps it's impossible) to disconnect your feelings from those old thoughts.  That connection was made a very long time ago.  I find it easier to replace the train of thought that results in me feeling upset/anxious/angry/depressed.  For example.  I'm not a big fan of Trump.  His vision for the future upsets me.  If I don't want to be upset, either I change my entire disposition (so that I'm OK with what he does) or I don't do things that brings his existence or policies into my conscious stream.  It's pretty much impossible to avoid news entirely, and when I see something on the news or in the paper I can start to ruminate about shortsighted policies, etcetera.  And I'll start feeling kind of upset.  It's when I first notice the upset feeling that I can make a conscious decision to shirt my mental focus to something else (birds flying, distant vistas, people walking, ...). 

 

I used to actually say, "No!" (out loud) to break off the mental stream that was causing me angst.  Now I say it in my head and shirt my focus.  If I'm worrying about something going wrong with an upcoming event, I'll tell myself, "Let's not have that happen."  Then I can put down the distressing thought and move on to better thoughts.  It's how I learned to break the cycle.  Maybe that approach or something similar can be useful for you??

Great news Healthfirst! Thank you so much for keeping us updated with you well deserved progress!

Hoping and praying for your complete recovery and success story soon!

 

Blessings!

Pi