Want "ME" back

I am to anyone who knows me a high energy, she's got it together, marathoner, ambitious go getter with a happy life.  Not.  I am those things, but just underneath the surface is a much darker side.  I started to take Xanax @ .25 3 x daily for general anxiety and sleep issues about 2 years ago.  Insidious. I function highly and feel normal but I am not really.  As soon as my prescription gets close to running out I find myself panicky and hyper aware this stuff is not good.  I try to taper on my own, but so far unable to. My head begins to feel like it's vibrating, I get nauseated and sounds are too loud. I feel like if I don't take a dose I would surely fall off the deep end and my facade of being super woman will be exposed.  Funny thing, I had all those qualities before being prescribed xanax. I did go from a much higher dose (whatever the blue ones are, I took about 3-4 a day) to what I am prescribed now. My first question is this...is .25 3 x daily a huge amount to even consider a self induced taper?  I know myself well enough to know I won't seek addiction treatment.  It will come down to running out of the prescription and not being able to get it anymore to get me off it.  I would like to have heads up though.  I don't want to be forced into cold turkey.  Coming off the higher dose to what I take now was brutal!  Absolutely the worst feeling in the world ever. Looking for advice on how to quickly get off this with a month's supply ( 90 ct.) in the least troublesome way.  I have to work and be amongst people.  I have a demanding job that requires I talk and teach. I can start with cutting back on caffeine too.  Alcohol will be no big deal either.  Please help me taper. I don't expect pain free, just comfortable.  I am a distance runner so exercise is a must, I got that.  Will I have a seizure? Should I let my spouse in on this so he can educate himself and help?  I am looking at one last refill to come in and I am determined to taper off. Can the human spirit defeat this? Spouse knows I take the medication for anxiety. He is unaware the hold it has on me.  I have joined BenzoBuddies to seek help from those who have been through it and arrived on the other side. You give me hope.  I also know my doctor is getting close to just cutting it off as the long term effects are surely a concern of his. So that's my intro...I am a fake. I want to be me again on my own recognizance.

 

Hello Guard Girl!

 

We are very glad that you found us! The chances of a seizure are very small if one does a reasonable taper. we recommend  taper rate of between 5 -10% every 10-14days. I would like to suggest that you do some research on the various boards. Becoming well informed should better enable you to make difficult decisions as well as provide you with the tools you need for a successful taper & recovery. You will find many supportive knowledgeable people here who will support you in your efforts to be benzo free. I have enclosed a few links below. Check them out!

 

 

Please take the time to tell us about your history:

 

CLICK HERE > To Create a Signature < CLICK HERE for a direct link OR go to the top of the page and select >Profile< then click >Forum Profile< then insert drug history/timelines into the text box then click >Change Profile<

 

 

Wishing you a smooth taper & speedy recovery!

Bella 

 

 

 

Links:

Professor Heather Ashton's Manual 

Withdrawal Support (during your taper)  Xanax Support Blog  What's happening inside your brain

 

   

Taper Info:

Suggested reduction rate is 5%-10% every 10-14 days  Create Your Own Taper Plan  by Jim Hawk

 

Hi Guard Girl,

 

Welcome to the forum and so sorry we both have a need to be here.

 

YES you can taper and get off Xanax and get your life back.  I did it and am now mostly recovered.  It is the very best thing I have ever done for my mental, physical and emotional health to date. 

 

You are currently on .75 mgm daily, down from 3-4 mgm daily if I am correct in that the blue Xanax are 1 mgm each.  Good for you as that is already a big accomplishment.  Tapering the rest of the way down is doable.  BUT IMO you should not try to do it in the time frame you mentioned with a 30 day supply.  Slow, steady and consistent is the way to go if you want to minimize your symptoms and be as functional as possible.

 

Can you get further refills before your doctor cuts you off?  This would allow you to take control of your taper and not be rushed to jump off prematurely.  That way you could slow down the taper rate or hold if your symptoms dictate.  That is actually the best way to get off, to have the taper rate completely in your hands and listen to your body as you adjust the dosages.

 

Guard Girl, continue to read and post and ask questions and we will help you any way we can.  You are not alone.  All of us here are somewhere in the process of coming off benzos and we understand.  I'm sending you thoughts for healing and strength for this journey.

 

She