Please help me believe I will get better

Hi there    I am obviously new to this forum and hope to find people that know what I am going through as none of my friends and family do.  It all started 3 years ago when I returned from a trip and developed insomnia and blocked ears.  After tons of tests and no answers I tried EVERY natural therapy to help with the insomnia but nothing worked.  Finally I was desperate and went to the doctor who gave me Ativan.  Well that was the beginning of the next 2.5 years of what I can only describe as hell.  I slept well for the first few nights but then I was no longer sleeping anyone and developed horrible anxiety.  They increased the dose and I just kept getting sicker.  Over the next few years they tried different medications like effector and olanzapine.  Although I was getting some sleep I had terrible depression.  I finally realised that the drugs were making me sick so I began the taper.  I am now down to .25mg ativan at night,  I have terrible insomnia, brain fog, dizziness, extreme digestion issues, body aches and pains and the list goes on.  I just need to know if anything works at all to try.  I have read Dr Leighs writings and she said to avoid all supplements.  Shouldn't things that are supposed to increase GABA work given we are low in GABA.  I really would appreciate any help people are willing to give me. 

Hello MAISY,

 

Welcome to Benzo Buddies, I'm so glad you've joined the forum. Your story is all too familiar, in fact I can relate to so much of what you have shared with us.  I was also put on ativan, for a supposed inner/middle ear issue.  You very quickly reached tolerance to the dose you were taking, the same thing happened to me.  I had no idea the drug was the problem for a long time.  You will find other's who are in similar circumstances here on BB and you'll receive a lot of encouragement and support.

 

The symptoms you describe are very common for benzo withdrawal.  They can be minimized when a slow taper is utilized. In general, a reduction of no more than 5-10% every 10-14 days is suggested. I'll give you a link to the General Taper Plans for additional information.

 

I'll also give you a link to the Ashton Manual. It is an excellent resource about these types of drugs and how to withdraw. It was written by Dr. Heather Ashton, an expert in the field.

 

You asked about supplements. Most people find that supplements are ineffective for reducing the effects of benzo withdrawal. In fact, some people have a difficult time tolerating them during this process. Of course, we are all different and will react differently to supplements.  As far as GABA in your system, it's not that you have a lack of GABA, it's that the nervous system is unable to use it due to the downregulation of the receptors in the brain.  These drugs make massive changes to the nervous system and it takes times for it to reset, return to balance. But it will!!

 

What you are going through is challenging, we understand this.  It is however, temporary and will ease up.  Some times the lower doses can be more difficult.  Perhaps slowing the taper down might be a good idea.  You'll get through this and we'll support you. Please do ask questions, we're here to help.

 

General Taper Plans 

 

The Ashton Manual

 

pianogirl 

Hi there

 

 

thank you so much for your response.  I really needed to hear that I will get through this and will get better.  Thank you also for the links.  I have seen the ashton manual.  My problem is my doctor would not compound the medication so I have been trying to cut it as small as I can but it is very difficult.  Also I have began to understand that due to its half-life you need to take ativan 3 times a day.  I was only ever put on it once a day.  Perhaps that is why I got so sick so quickly on it and why this taper is horrible. 

 

Can I also ask you.  You said you were given Ativan due to some ear issues.  When you finished your taper did you still have these ear issues?  What do you think they were? 

 

 

I think I would be able to cope better if I could at least get a few hours of sleep at night but I cant.  I literally lay there all night. Has anyone I wonder found anything that helps them sleep?

 

thank you again for your kind words. 

Hi there

 

 

thank you so much for your response.  I really needed to hear that I will get through this and will get better.  Thank you also for the links.  I have seen the ashton manual.  My problem is my doctor would not compound the medication so I have been trying to cut it as small as I can but it is very difficult.  Also I have began to understand that due to its half-life you need to take ativan 3 times a day.  I was only ever put on it once a day.  Perhaps that is why I got so sick so quickly on it and why this taper is horrible. 

 

Can I also ask you.  You said you were given Ativan due to some ear issues.  When you finished your taper did you still have these ear issues?  What do you think they were? 

 

 

I think I would be able to cope better if I could at least get a few hours of sleep at night but I cant.  I literally lay there all night. Has anyone I wonder found anything that helps them sleep?

 

thank you again for your kind words.

 

Hello again,

 

I was actually misdiagnosed.  Further tests revealed I did no have labrynthitis.  Eventually the symptoms were found correctly to be due to degenerative disc disease in my c-spine and nerve damage at c7.  I had fusion surgery to correct it.  Sadly, I should not have been put on ativan in the first place.

 

PG 

Welcome, Maisy. Glad to see you here. 

 

Those are all symptoms I had early on too. Unfortunately, it's typical. It will get better with time. Hang in there.

 

I've been using 3mg melatonin at night to help me sleep. It could be helpful for you. My sleep has improved greatly since I stopped my meds. It was really rough at first, but has gotten better with time. I went from 2-4 hours a night to 5-7 hours, sometimes 8!

Thank you for your reply.  I really need to hear things get better as my mind wont stop telling me I am going to be like this forever and I will never get well that I am permanently brain damaged.  I just keep hoping there is something that can help but I cant seem to find anything infact everything seems to make me worse.  I tried melatonin but it made me more wide awake.  I read some people find a paleo diet low in histamines good for them.  Do you have any thoughts on this.  Thank you again for your reply.  It is nice just to be able to know I am talking to someone that understands as none of my family or friends do.

 

 

Thank you for your reply.  I really need to hear things get better as my mind wont stop telling me I am going to be like this forever and I will never get well that I am permanently brain damaged.  I just keep hoping there is something that can help but I cant seem to find anything infact everything seems to make me worse.  I tried melatonin but it made me more wide awake.  I read some people find a paleo diet low in histamines good for them.  Do you have any thoughts on this.  Thank you again for your reply.  It is nice just to be able to know I am talking to someone that understands as none of my family or friends do.

 

There is quite a bit of information around BB regarding diets that can be helpful; you can use the search function to find specific topics.

 

The cleaner and healthier you eat, the better for your body and mind. Processed foods, sugar, caffeine, MSG and alcohol are good to limit or avoid, as they can rev up our symptoms. I don't follow a specific diet, but started a fitness kickboxing class during my taper which inspired me to eat much better. I gave up soda, fast food, processed food, preservatives...basically, most things found in the middle aisles of the grocery store that aren't good for me. I still have a cup of coffee every morning because I love it and the caffeine doesn't really bother me.

 

Paleo can be a good diet to follow, but not everything recommended for paleo is low in histamine. High histamine foods are generally aged or fermented foods: kimchi, sauerkraut, yogurt or kefir, kombucha, aged cheese, alcohol of any kind, vinegar, cured meat and fish and seafood, especially canned or smoked fish.