Who has had insomnia before benzos?

Is it even possible to have insomnia so bad you lay awake for days or only sleep once a week if you have insomnia that's not benzo related?

Yes.  People that have "normal" non-benzo related insomnia sometimes stay awake for several days or more in a row and complain of the tired but wired feeling.  If you didn't have insomnia before Benzos all of your sleep issues are Benzo-related!

I didn't have insomnia but developed it due to anxiety from surgery. That's why I hope it's not permanent. I got on benzos just because of that. I just want it to return. I lay in bed and put a lot of thought into it now. Like I'm scared to go to bed. I'm extremely sleepy and exhausted but can't sleep because my awareness never shuts down. Just wondering if this could be permanent.

No, it definitely is not permanent.  But the sleep anxiety can make it worse.  Worrying about sleep or chasing after it only makes it next to impossible to come by.  I was right where you are now about 15 months ago.  I was afraid to go to bed as I "knew" I wouldn't get much, if any sleep.  Sleep anxiety is pretty common, but it too will fade with time.  You are not permanently broken.  It is all BENZO related.  You said yourself, you slept fine prior to surgery.  You will sleep fine again down the road.  I had the same fears...what if this never goes away?  What if I am broken for life?  These are lies that your benzo damaged brain will keep telling you.

 

None of it is true.  You will heal.  Everyone heals over time, especially since you never had sleeping issues prior to benzos.  I promise you will get your sleep back again!  It just takes a lot of time and more than we would like or more time than we think we can endure.  You'll get there. 

Did you have such horrible blurry vision that you couldn't drive? Is this from lack of sleep or is it from benzos? I will keep going with no sleep then I get desperate. I'm so scared.  You probabably know that by now. Lol

I never really had the blurry vision issue.  I always drove though even when I would go for 3 or 4 days without any perceived sleep.  I still worked on some of those days as I found it was better than laying home in bed feeling sorry for myself.  I know you are scared.  That is very common.  Fear of the unknown is more likely what is it.  Fear that you won't sleep or that you will go for 7 - 10 days in a row with zero sleep.  I get it.  But please, if you can, try not to worry about sleep.  You are going to get what you are going to get whether you worry or not.  I know, way easier said than done.  But actually I got to a point where I was so tired of being tired, I decided to not give a rat's butt if I slept or not.  I told myself I am just going to lay in bed and rest my body.  I can live without sleep, but my body still needs to rest.  Slowly I started to nod off and get some sleep at night.  It wasn't much at first, but it quickly built up to 3-4 hours in about 6 weeks.  I still had some poor nights in there of zero or 1 or 2 hours, but it evened out. 

 

And don't convince yourself that because you didn't sleep you should feel crappy.  Not necessarily true, especially for a Benzo ravaged body and brain.

 

Try to ACCEPT your situation and DISTRACT yourself with something else as much as possible.  Don't Google insomnia or related illnesses and don't talk about your lack of sleep with your family and friends.  It only reinforces it in your mind.  Trust me, you will heal and get your sleep back!

I sure hope so. I can't see very well now and my body starts to hurt when it's time for my taper. Even my teeth hurt. I just don't know how long to give it before I go nuts without sleep? My doc said no one will go over two nights. That's bs if I ever heard it. I've definitely went atleast 10. I've got to the point of saying if I die, I die. What can I do? It's hard to accept but makes you sad every single day.

I sure hope so. I can't see very well now and my body starts to hurt when it's time for my taper. Even my teeth hurt. I just don't know how long to give it before I go nuts without sleep? My doc said no one will go over two nights. That's bs if I ever heard it. I've definitely went atleast 10. I've got to the point of saying if I die, I die. What can I do? It's hard to accept but makes you sad every single day.

 

Stacey,

 

All of the aches and pains you are describing are pretty normal during Benzo WD.  I remember my teeth hurting too.  Benzos really mess up your Central Nervous System and create a bunch of "phantom" pain and other issues.  I say "phantom" not because the pain isn't real.  It is, but because there is nothing medically wrong with your teeth or head, etc.  Your brain "creates" the pain in response to being messed up by the Benzos.  That is also why a lot of people get Anxiety, Depression, DP, DR, etc. 

 

Doctors truly don't understand Benzo WD.  If they did, they wouldn't make lame statements such as it only lasts 2 weeks or that you won't go for more than 2 nights in a row without sleep.  I don't trust doctors that are overly zealous to prescribe Rx drugs and I certainly don't trust big Pharma as they are only in business to make $$.  They don't care at all if you develop debilitating WD symptoms and insomnia. 

 

But, you have to remember that your situation is TEMPORARY.  It won't last forever.  You will survive and you will get your sleep back.  It's hard to wrap your mind around that possibility at this point in your Benzo journey, but IT WILL HAPPEN! 

I was never a great sleeper but I never took Benzo to help me sleep .Only nights when I was unable to sleep was when there was stress in my life Other wise in general I used to close my eyes and in maximum half an hour I used to fall asleep .In fact I used to pity people with insomnia and always used to wonder how awful life must be for them .

 

Currently I had a setback, I was having anxiety and I read somewhere Maganisium glycinate in large dose can help with it .After taking it for 3 days forget anxiety that lovely sleep that I had recovered after a long time also disappeared .

 

Now I can personally endorse the statement of all those who suggest to avoid supplements and OTC aids to get back sleep Not only they delay healing they make withdrawal worse .

I took all this at one time and still didn't sleep a wink. I was coming off restoril and nothing powers through restoril. Not even an ambien. I'm suprised I didn't overdose.

 

              10mg melatonin

                Benadryl

                Bersamra 20mg

                Trasedone 50 mg

                  Zquil

                  Xanex .5 and .5

I took all this at one time and still didn't sleep a wink. I was coming off restoril and nothing powers through restoril. Not even an ambien. I'm suprised I didn't overdose.

 

              10mg melatonin

                Benadryl

                Bersamra 20mg

                Trasedone 50 mg

                  Zquil

                  Xanex .5 and .5

 

Stacey...that is a DEAD END road...if all of that will not get you to sleep, then your Gaba receptors are already completely down regulated (TOLERANCE).  No drug is going to down regulate your Gaba more, so no drug is going to put you to sleep.  Also it is VERY Dangerous to mix a bunch of drugs and OTC stuff to sleep.  There could be drug interactions that are serious or fatal.  Again, looking for something to "knock you out" so you can sleep is a very slippery slope and will only end in disaster. 

 

I know exactly what you feel like.  In DESPERATION you will take anything to get some sleep.  Back off of everything and stop introducing other drugs into the mix.  Your body is messed up enough now.  I would also get rid of all other drugs expect what you need to taper.  It is too easy to take them as you did last night in a moment of weakness.  This will only end up making your WD worse and making it last longer.

I took all that back in January. I have just been taking Mirt since which was working but I don't want to be on anything else. I just upped the klonopine a little last night but still no sleep which was confusing. I figured since I was in a .26 on the taper, I figured .25 more would work.

OK..sorry...I see that was in the past.  Updosing probably won't help you now either.  I took 4mg of Klonopin and 30mg of Temazepam one night after going for a few in a row with zero sleep and got about 1 hour of sleep and that was right before I jumped cold turkey.

How did you not almost die from withdrawls? I'm just in aw of this. I can't imagine how you did that.

I honestly think the restoril messes your brain up bad. My mom has taken 15 mg for 30 years. She says it still works. Not sure how.

It felt like I was going to die most days.  But other people on this site told me I wouldn't die and I would get past this.  I believed them.  They made it through the same things too.  What other choice did I have?  Most of the symptoms are not real in the sense that they are not other medical issues.  You feel pain, but the pain is not caused by another medical condition.  Your brain is just really messed up right now.

Always in the back of my mind I feel like I'm an exception and this medicine that I put in my body is going to kill me from lack of sleep. I just feel like my brain decided when I had the surgery done that it wasn't going to shut down. I even thought the anastesia could have messed me up. They say it's not possible but I don't know. I've slept on my own without meds  briefly about 4 or 5 times since then.

That's pretty common.  I always thought I was a unique case too.  I thought I had some unknown or "special" kind of WD that no one else had.  At least you don't think you have fatal insomnia!  I thought I had that too.  Your brain doesn't process logical information very well.  These Benzos really mess up your brain.  Insomnia was my WORST symptom.  I could deal with the rest of the crap, but insomnia, as you know, is a form of torture.

 

But insomnia absolutely will not kill you.  Your body will get all the sleep it needs (not what you think it needs) prior to that happening.  I was always amazed that I could go an entire week on 5-10 hours of sleep and not even feel sleepy.  I thought I was doomed!  I wasn't and you aren't either.

 

Your body does need rest though.  So just lie in bed and rest even if you don't sleep.  Some micro or light sleep will kick in without you knowing.  When you start to get some recognizable sleep, you probably won't feel better for awhile.  I didn't so I always thought the amount and quality were poor.  My body got what it wanted to get regardless of what I thought I needed.  8 hours of sleep every night is a MYTH.  You can get by on far less, even though that is no fun.  You'll be fine.  Just roll with it the best you can.  Accept it the best you can.  Give it the middle finger once in awhile and try to live as "normally" as possible.  It WILL get better.  Your situation and lack of sleep are TEMPORARY!

Thanks. I've done nothing but lay on an ice pack for months because my head feels crazy. I'm just deeply depressed over this too. I guess I'm headed to the beach today. I'm hoping I can handle this. I have severe depersonalization too. Like I'm not really in the world.

Enjoy the beach...that is a great distraction to take your mind off of things.  DP and DR are terrible symptoms too.  Feeling like you are not real or living in a dream does suck, but after awhile I just used it to my advantage as I knew it couldn't hurt me.  Eventually it faded and completely went away.  It will for you too.  Get off this forum and go to the beach and live life the best you can!

This forum has helped me a lot. Atleast I can talk to people that are going through what I'm going through. Every time I get in the bed and don't sleep, your words will come back to me. I can do this. I don't have to sleep. Kind of makes me feel like a robot.  My muscles get very tense when I don't sleep. I hope I can do this.

That's a great outlook and attitude toward this whole crappy situation.  You don't need a lot of sleep right now.  Your Benzo wired brain can live on small amounts of sleep until it starts to come back and it WILL come back.  Just rest your body if you can't sleep.  Maybe listen to some soothing music or binaural beats or something like that.  You will get some micro sleep and light sleep on and off without realizing it.  You can do this!

The worst part is that I always feel sleepy. I'm in the truck now going to FL and I wand to sleep so bad but I can't. Just a few months ago, I would have been out.

Feeling sleepy is actually a good sign.  I never felt sleepy until about month 7 after I jumped cold turkey.  I felt tired, but not sleepy.  I was tired but "wired" all the time.  I had a lot of cortisol and adrenaline surges that kept me awake and feeling alert.  But those slowly faded.  Don't try to "live in the past" too much.  I know it is hard to do.  I did the same thing.  I would say things such as last year at this time I was sleeping great, or this never would have bothered me, I never worried about sleep prior to this, etc.  Don't beat yourself up to much.  I got really angry at my doctor for the longest time for prescribing me rat poison (Benzos)!  But on the other hand, I kept asking for something to sleep with.

 

 

Why did you suddenly start having sleep issues?