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INFJ functioning persons


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Let’s just finally get to be ourselves here. You can be paradoxical, ...or whatever you feel here.

 

I want this to be a safe zone for introverts of any kind, because I feel these sentences so strongly—

 

“I love lots of introversion. I feel understood and can rest better because it compliments and reflects who I am more to have more introspective and calm energy.

 

I think extroverts can be… interesting, and all this. I don’t hate them, but they have done lots of damage to me in my life because so often (if not always) it seems they never wish to try to be respectful of or appreciative of any other kind of way than their own. I feel they charge boundaries mercilessly in our society, and get away with harming introverts severely.

 

Some introverts get so harmed this way (I feel,) that they could be the ones who sometimes end up snapping.”

 

—azalea32

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Hello there!  Fellow INFJ here.  I'd love to connect and share insights; isn't that what we crave as INFJs?  Authentic connection.

 

I am at complete peace with my introverted nature and have been for years.  I'm not angry with extraverts.  I usually connect more deeply with those who are introverted like myself, but I have a lot to learn from being open to what extraverts have to teach me as well.  This journey into benzo hell has opened a whole new world of exploration for me where I'm learning to truly embrace the Ni (introverted intuition) part of who I am.  I find that I have more of a challenge relating to those who are sensors (or have S as the 2nd letter of their personality type) because we see the world so differently.  But I'm married to a sensor and he brings me back to the "real world".  He is an introverted sensor so that makes a difference.  Respects my energetic boundaries. :)

 

Yes, living in an extraverted, sensory society, one that measures success through competition and material gains as opposed to connection and personal growth, is probably why I went down the path that got me in this mess of taking medications.  But being an INFJ, being able to tap into the deeper wisdom and connect with like-minded people is what is getting me through.

 

We are conditioned to "keep up" with a world that doesn't seem to appreciate the sensitivity with which we function.  At some point, the disconnection starts to overwhelm us and we lose sleep or become anxious and then take medication to keep going.  Of course there are many reasons why people start these medications, but insomnia and anxiety seem to be the two main ones.

 

Have you ever thought that there is probably a higher population of INFJs and other sensitive personality types on these boards?  That perhaps our innate sensitive systems cause us more difficulty when withdrawing from medication?

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Fellow INFJ here...maybe..sort of.  I can test at either an INFJ or an ISFJ depending on which test I take and how I'm feeling that day. Guess I'm still trying to figure out who I am. I'm still a little fuzzy on the exact difference between the two types.

 

I too crave connection, but due to my introverted, shy, anxious nature I really suck at "putting myself out there" and meeting people. And of course benzo withdrawal has just made me want to shrink back into my safe space even more.

 

I live with a very extroverted "bull in the china shop" type roommate who thinks I'm from Mars. We don't exactly connect.

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Thank you for starting this thread Azalea.....

I'm afraid I'm not knowledgeable about the abrieviations ... Could someone write them out for me? The reason it caught my attention is because I fall into the 15% or so population of being a highly sensitive person. And mostly introvert. Though at times at least before all this messy benzo business, I could be extrovert too . Not any more! I dread most interactions , and feel safest when I'm alone , tho I hate feeling isolated also , it's a really dilemma as my symptoms are very difficult to manage around others .

 

I have a few close friends who are also very sesitive , so I am fortunate in that at least , they are really the only people I can tolerate without totally having  a meltdown at the moment .

 

So , I am interested in this thread ,and how we might support and validate each other .

 

At the moment I'm having a lot of health anxiety , but I dread doctors appointments and testing etc as I feel so fragile out in the world .

 

MiYu

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And ps , we definitely live in a majority of very extroverted society , I've always felt out of place and at odds with the world I grew up in . I've accepted it way more now and the value that I have to contribute . It comes down to self acceptance and self respect I think . A long road of learning though , and I still fall into the feeling of being somehow 'not right'.

 

I'm much better though than I was , and I look fro friends and support of others who are like me ,e especially at the moment. I feel it's part of my journey to create these more extreme type boundaries for myself until I am stronger

 

MiYu

 

 

 

 

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MiYu,

 

Thank you so much. I’m needing this too. I am in a wave of a wave and need to wait about a month to respond possibly.

 

I look forward to hearing more— you may post here all the time. I like to see what I’m seeing in each response.

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What an interesting thread.  Thank you for starting it Azalea32.

 

I too am an introvert.  Probably an INFJ too, but the NFJ part has varied on different tests but the introvert part has remained remarkably consistent throughout my life.  I'm afraid we are living in an extroverted world.  Extroversion is considered the desired trait and introversion is considered less than desirable and even aberrant if further along on the spectrum than society deems acceptable.

 

When my daughter was growing up, some of the things she pursued and the ways she had to be in this world puzzled and perplexed me.  It was not until I understood that, while I was quite introverted, she was and is wildly extroverted, probably at the extreme end of the spectrum.  While we had a pretty good relationship all things considered, we simply did not "get" one another.  I can not believe I didn't understand this dynamic until she was grown, gone and with children of her own.

 

I value my alone time and am not ever lonely even when I spend great swathes of time alone.  I live in my head a lot, am intellectually curious, and am most happy surrounded by books, word games, puzzles and quiet pursuits like gardening, needle crafts and maintaining my tropical aquariums.  Although I want some social interaction, I find myself fending off opportunities right and left because I need so much less of it than others think I ought to need.  I do have a group of friends and I join in on the social whirl at times, but decline a lot too.  They seem to accept me nevertheless and keep the invitations coming.  I think all of us introverts want some social interaction, we just want less of it and we want it on our own terms.  Who doesn't!

 

I am married to another introvert, so we are in agreement about our social obligations.  We are happiest spending time together at home with our quiet pursuits.  Even having my husband around 24/7 is challenging though and I look forward to the times he goes out of town to visit relatives, leaving me completely alone for a few days.  Those times are like heaven to me!  Just being alone with my thoughts is calming and healing in so many ways. 

 

NOW.  I am sure my introversion led me down the benzo path.  I had to get out there, earn a living, interact with the world in ways that were challenging for me, creating a lot of anxiety.  I did what I had to do but it surely took a toll on this introvert.  I didn't have a lot of insight into this dynamic until recent years as I look back over the arc of my life and my experiences.  I'm betting many of us on this forum fell into the same trap as we tried to make sense of an extroverted world.

 

Thank you again Azalea32 for starting this thread.

 

:smitten:

She

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Miyu - In response to your asking about the abbreviations for the 4-letter personality types, each letter can represent two different functions.  Below is just a very brief description of what they represent.  There are 16 different combinations that can be formed.  You can find all kinds of personality indicators online by searching for Myers-Briggs personality tests, but they are not always accurate.  You sound like you could definitely be an INFJ to me from what little you have shared so far on this thread.

 

1st letter - I (Introvert) or E (Extravert) - How you interact with your world.  Where you get your energy from.  What world is most real to you (inner or outer).

 

2nd letter -N (iNtuitive) or S (Sensor) - How you perceive/learn.  How you process information.

 

3rd letter - F (Feeler) or T (Thinker) - How you evaluatie information and make decisions.

 

4th letter - J (Judger) or P (Perceiver) - How you organize your world; the preference for inner or outer world organization.

 

 

And yes, thanks Azalea for starting this group.  I love what I'm reading too.

 

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Miyu - In response to your asking about the abbreviations for the 4-letter personality types, each letter can represent two different functions.  Below is just a very brief description of what they represent.  There are 16 different combinations that can be formed.  You can find all kinds of personality indicators online by searching for Myers-Briggs personality tests, but they are not always accurate.  You sound like you could definitely be an INFJ to me from what little you have shared so far on this thread.

 

1st letter - I (Introvert) or E (Extravert) - How you interact with your world.  Where you get your energy from.  What world is most real to you (inner or outer).

 

2nd letter -N (iNtuitive) or S (Sensor) - How you perceive/learn.  How you process information.

 

3rd letter - F (Feeler) or T (Thinker) - How you evaluatie information and make decisions.

 

4th letter - J (Judger) or P (Perceiver) - How you organize your world; the preference for inner or outer world organization.

 

 

And yes, thanks Azalea for starting this group.  I love what I'm reading too.

 

Oh thank you Kristin. ! I will research this more ,mat first glance , I'm -

INFP , or J , not sure on this one ...

It's good to have things named ! It helps me feel more secure  :)

 

MiYu

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This really is home (for me now) within the village, looking forward to healing with wonderful introverts.  :smitten

 

 

I’m home!

💜

 

Just need rest a while but feels like I found my spot.

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KristinM, thanks— me too!

 

Got some sleep 🌸👍🙈👩🏻‍🎤🧚🏻‍♂️💋💜🙄🦒👩🏻‍🌾💄😹

 

How are you doing today?

 

What about everyone here, how are we all going for now?

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Yay for sleep!  Makes such a difference.

 

Me, well, suffering physically today more than usual.  Trying to shift what I can and accept what I can't.  Somedays I can do this better than others depending on how intense the symptoms are and what my mental state is.  Not feeling emotionally/spiritually abandoned at this point so it is okay.  Such a journey being trapped in a sick body.

 

How is everyone else? 

 

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INFJ’s!!!!!  1% the population, or so I’m told, and yet here we are. Seeing this thread was refreshing. Thank you! Being the introvert that I am, I may be a bit of a creeper here for a while but I hope to maybe eventually share my story for anyone who would be gracious enough to listen. Just thought I would post to say hello for now.  :)
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Hi Manic Gamut. I'm more of a lurker myself but join in when I feel accepted or when l I have something to offer.

 

INFJs are good listeners. Feel free to share when you are comfortable.  :smitten:

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I'm wondering if any of you (as INFJs/sensitive individuals) noticed a change in your dreams as you tapered down.  I don't think I even realized how absent my dream state had been until I started to get lower in my dosage and then recognized I was dreaming again. 

 

This might just be an interesting observation for others tapering, but for me it becomes another world I have to interpret.  As INFJs we are perceivers of patterns in our internal worlds.  A dream has meaning.  I wake from some dreams with a sense of dread and have to write to make sense of them, because if I don't, the unnerving feelings created from the dream linger with me throughout the day.  I've discovered that old wounds and fears are being expressed symbolically. Wounds that I thought I'd addressed and detached from.  They're still in there and alerting me there's more healing needed.

 

But I'm also having some amazing dreams that I wake from with a feeling of freedom.  Dreams where I am literally flying, my soul sensing it is liberated from the mask I put on for the world.  It's as if I'm finding more ways to show up authentically.  These dreams are encouraging, as I sense that true healing is happening and that my physical body just needs time to catch up.  These inspirational dreams cultivate acceptance as they allow me to have more patience with the healing process.

 

Anyone else?  Thoughts?  Did the medication affect your dreams?  Did reducing dosage change anything?

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I'm not sure if its my basic introverted personality, but I have always had vivid dreams even as a child.  I can still remember some of my childhood dreams.  I'm not sure that my Xanax, while I was taking it, tapering it, or off it, had too much to do with the nature or frequency of these dreams. 

 

I have several recurring themed dreams.  I did all my life and throughout my Xanax use and still do.  One of the most frequent is the dream that I have killed someone and buried them and am just waiting to be found out.  The deceased is not someone known to me, just an amorphous. ill-defined "someone"  The sense of doom and knowing that I will be found out and my life be forever destroyed afterwards feels so real.  Of course the obvious symbolism is my underlying feeling of complete unworthiness and the necessity to appear otherwise but knowing everyone will eventually find out I am an utter sham anyway. 

 

Instead of the Xanax causing some of these dreams, I think some of my dreams and what they might reveal about my psychology and the resulting anxiety actually led to the Xanax.  Overly simplified I know, but there it is.

 

Interesting thread.

 

:smitten:

She

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Instead of the Xanax causing some of these dreams, I think some of my dreams and what they might reveal about my psychology and the resulting anxiety actually led to the Xanax.  Overly simplified I know, but there it is.

 

Interesting thread.

 

:smitten:

She

 

This resonates with me so much.

 

Apart from the years I was on my full dosage of Clonazepam, I've also had very vivid dreams for as long as I can remember.  When I was little, I was unsure sometimes if something had actually happened in the real world or if it was just a dream.  What's interesting to me is that I didn't even realize during my benzo use that I hadn't been having these dreams.  Since they've returned, I see them as a gift of insight.  I don't think I knew what to do with them before.  Sometimes I'd rather not accept this "gift", because waking with a sense of dread when I am already feeling like a physical wreck adds more suffering to the withdrawal process.  But they are giving me information as to what is happening on a level I can't seem to access while I'm awake, and I find that information invaluable.

 

She, I think the recurring dream you shared could also represent feelings of vulnerability, of your true nature being exposed.  I have dreams with a similar theme that manifest in a different way.  I feel like they are shifting though as I'm beginning to work with them in my conscious state, learning how to integrate the fractured parts of myself.  I wonder if it is common for INFJs to have dreams with themes of unworthiness and vulnerability.

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