Dabbling with Diazepam

Hi

 

Right - I feel a bit of a fool really. I can't even remember how I ended up buying these damn pills but last November I purchased 40 10mg strips of Diazepam off of the internet - Yeah I know, stupid - Now, I've been using these things on an on and off basis since then. Somedays I would take one pill then the next 1/2 of one, then not take any for a few days, then have a couple - a very uneven amount. I don't suffer from anxiety to any major degree so I have purely been taking them for recreational purposes. I don't smoke anything. I don't drink. I've had the occasional binge where I've taken 40mg in an evening then had a day off then gone back to the 1 tablet or 1/2 tablet here and there with the occasional gap.

Then I started doing research into these things and lo and behold I read all the horror stories that people have been writing on-line over the years. This has scared me into wanting to come off the things and I will do. My only concern is the way I'm going about it and whether or not I am going to have an awful time with such a random pattern of ingestion. My last 10mg was taken last Monday since then I have managed to cut one of those pills into 6 small pieces and have just been taking those 1 a day. Probably about 1.6mg.

Now the question is, am I ok doing this? I don't feel too bad at the moment. I've had a couple of days where I've felt a bit flu-ey and my appetite is a bit up the spout, although I have been eating. Sleep is a bit weird as well. I have no problem drifting off but then I wake up at 4:30 in the morning and thats it then, I can't get back to sleep.

I'm guessing Ive probably tapered far too fast but as its been almost a week now on the minute doses I'm reluctant to go back up again as I feel I've done well in managing such a reduction over the course of nearly 7 days.

My question is should I hold on the 1.6mg amount, or reduce that a little more, or just take the jump. I don't want to take the things anymore so I've got no problems with determnation, just want to make sure I'm not putting myself at too much risk by going about it the way I have been

Still dunno why I bought the things in the first place.

And just to clarify I've probably bought 5 orders of the things since November so I've had a few !!

Thank you

 

 

Hello Mr Day,

 

Welcome to Benzo Buddies, we're very glad you've joined the forum.  This is not a place where you will hear "I told you so". People have come here because they've found themselves dependent on benzos and need support and information to taper off successfully.  We welcome all, no matter what the circumstances.

 

Hopefully now that you've educated yourself about benzos, your future will not include them, especially if you were just using them for recreational purposes.

 

It sounds like you are doing pretty good so far, the symptoms you describe are very common for withdrawal.  I think if it were me I'd stabilize at 1.6 mg for a couple of weeks before making any more reductions. Diazepam has a very long half like and sometimes it takes a while for symptoms to appear, this happened to me. I personally would not updose, especially since you are managing quite well at this point.

 

In general, a reduction of no more than 5-10% every 10-14 days is suggested. I'll give you a link to the General Taper Plans for additional information.

 

I'll also give you a link to the Ashton Manual. It is an excellent resource about these types of drugs and how to withdraw. The manual was written by Dr. Heather Ashton, an expert in the field.

 

A slow taper can help to minimize withdrawal effects. While you might be anxious to be rid of the diazepam, your nervous system needs time to adjust to all the changes of doses you've been taking.  We'll be happy to encourage you while you are on your journey to be benzo free. Please do ask questions, we're here to help.

 

 

General Taper Plans 

 

The Ashton Manual

 

pianogirl 

Thank you very much 

 

That is a great help - I will do another week at 1.6 and see how I feel then

 

One thing I would like to know is, when I drop my doseage in 10 days or so whats the best way of doing it pills? Using a knife would be too much of a fiddle so should I use sand paper perhaps? Just sand a bit off of the 1.6 bits that I'm currently on?

One thing I would like to know is, when I drop my doseage in 10 days or so whats the best way of doing it pills? Using a knife would be too much of a fiddle so should I use sand paper perhaps? Just sand a bit off of the 1.6 bits that I'm currently on?

 

Hello again,

 

Yes, some people do in fact 'sand' the pills or use a nail file. An alternate method is to use a scale.  One can be purchased from Amazon, the brand most often recommended by members is Gemini.

 

You could also consider titration, which is using a liquid forum to remove a small amount of the drug at a time. I'll give you a link to the Titration Board for more information.

 

Titration Taper Plans   

 

PG 

Thank you again 

I'm beginning to think I might be one of the lucky ones on here. Had a bit of an iffy night's sleep last night. Crashed out for 3 hours, then was awake for a couple then eventually drifted off again and had some bizarre dreams, then eventually surfaced feeling a little bit wobbly but nothing too horrific. I'm not saying I was running around with party poppers and boogieing but I had some breakfast, went to the post office and even survived a trip to the supermarket then came home and knocked up a vegetable casserole, of which I had a huge plate of later.

The best thing is that I have had zero desire to take any Valium today at all. I had my pill chopped up into all it's little chippings ready to spread over the week and I got the late afternoon and wasn't bothered about it at all. As I said, I'm not saying I'm suddenly ready to jump back onto the world's stage just yet but I do feel as though I might be winning this. In fact, Valium >>>>>> DO ONE!

I'll see how tomorrow goes. If I feel really rough then i can have my chipping of pill but I am interested to see if another clean day will happen because I have to say a) I feel rather proud of myself for my drop in dosage anyway and b) for having a fairly constructive day. I can feel the old me lurking in the background.

Thank God I found this place and a few others where I managed to read up on the horrors of this nasty, nasty drug before I got in too deep. Feel so sorry for all you guys who have REALLY suffered. My heart goes out to you.

You wait, I'll be on here tomorrow night now saying that I'm feeling like I'm losing my mind. Perhaps I've found the cure though - veggie casserole