Dealing with Insomnia

Not sleeping surely is on the short list of the worst things in life.  However how you deal with it can really make a world of difference.

 

Distraction and Acceptance are key to getting past insomnia and WD in general.

 

You can't remove a single day of your WD by worrying...I know, way easier said than done!  You'll end up worrying your life away!

 

You can't change a single thing by freaking out...I freaked out a lot early on in WD.  Again this is for those that can accept it or are ready for it.

 

Freaking out about not sleeping is just going to close you in...don't let the WD win!

 

Don't feel alone...on this site you're not on your own!  There are lots of people here to help.

 

Just wish I had a magic wand I could wave to remove everyone's insomnia! 

 

 

Thanks for the encouraging post .My sleep has improved though I still sleep on the couch .But one particular question I want to ask you .I developed this cancer phobia during my withdrawal. Unfortunately during that critical withdrawal period two of my distant family members got diagnosed with cancer.While I was struggling with withdrawal this news about them really shook me .This is my sixth month post cold turkey .Now when my sleep has improved but at the same time a fear phobia about cancer has developed. Prior to benzo I never had such health anxiety .Though I try to over come it by keeping busy it never goes away .

Do you think it was withdrawal that precipitated this phobia or is it something else ?

Hi White Swan,

 

Yes, I am confident that your phobia is WD related.  I had the same phobia for about 3 months.  I had a lump on my tongue and had it removed...it was nothing.  Even before I had it removed, I thought it was throat cancer.  I had a ton of ANXIETY that I never had prior to benzos.  I developed depression along with DP and DR.  I even saw people at the end of my bed in the middle of the night and people that were trapped in my crystal salt lamp for a few weeks.  These benzos sure can mess a person up.  I couldn't watch anything on TV that had any type of violence in it.  I was overly sensitive to sound and had Tinnitus for about 6 months.

 

The odd thing about Benzos is that the damage they do can take a long time to heal.  All of my "mental" and physical symptoms went away about 1 year ago.  They slowly faded then just disappeared.  I am confident that the same thing will happen for you too.  You WILL HEAL.  Everyone Heals.  Hang in there, the phobia will go away.  Benzo WD does not cause cancer, neither does lack of sleep. 

Thanks ThEwAy2 for your message,

I do as you suggest: I try accept the insomnia -when it arrives- the best way I can...

Then it happens, I try to please myself with someting I like (i.e. I go to the frig and eat something, read a book, etc.), or I try "call back the sleep" and I

watch TV -something boring-  or listen to music -very very soft- in a low volume. Very often I wake up in the morning quite refreshed, after some hours of sleeping...

Thanks again!

When I came to this forum, I was in the first days of my withdrawal journey and I was freaking out about the lack of sleep. On that day I had gone 4 days without sleep and did not know why. At the time it was the wide-awake looking at the ceiling sort, and I was even getting angry in the night which just made everything worse.

 

Over time, reading posts from TheWay2 and others, and being continually beaten down by this beast day in and day out, I have found a place of less anger over it, and at times, a kind of acceptance. I dont get out of bed anymore if I'm awake. I stay there and just try to relax and doze if I can. Even if I can get some phase 1 sleep that's better than none.

 

I still fixate on it during the day, and I dont know how to get over that. I know I have more anxiety in the evenings which is surely adding to my issues. Still not sure how to stop that.

 

I used to love the evenings - sitting and recreating with my family before bed in front of the TV (and truth be told enjoying a beer), but these days I have my own complicated rituals that I go through and worries about what comes after the evening time together when the lights go out - and it sours things considerably. There is quite simply nothing I can do about it, and every day... they cycle repeats itself.

 

Its a tough journey. I feel like I'm making progress in my acceptance of it, but I still have some distance to cover. I keep hoping that things will improve more. Sleep is at this point my main symptom - but one that after repeated nights can cause all of the others.

When I came to this forum, I was in the first days of my withdrawal journey and I was freaking out about the lack of sleep. On that day I had gone 4 days without sleep and did not know why. At the time it was the wide-awake looking at the ceiling sort, and I was even getting angry in the night which just made everything worse.

 

Over time, reading posts from TheWay2 and others, and being continually beaten down by this beast day in and day out, I have found a place of less anger over it, and at times, a kind of acceptance. I dont get out of bed anymore if I'm awake. I stay there and just try to relax and doze if I can. Even if I can get some phase 1 sleep that's better than none.

 

I still fixate on it during the day, and I dont know how to get over that. I know I have more anxiety in the evenings which is surely adding to my issues. Still not sure how to stop that.

 

I used to love the evenings - sitting and recreating with my family before bed in front of the TV (and truth be told enjoying a beer), but these days I have my own complicated rituals that I go through and worries about what comes after the evening time together when the lights go out - and it sours things considerably. There is quite simply nothing I can do about it, and every day... they cycle repeats itself.

 

Its a tough journey. I feel like I'm making progress in my acceptance of it, but I still have some distance to cover. I keep hoping that things will improve more. Sleep is at this point my main symptom - but one that after repeated nights can cause all of the others.

 

 

SeekingHope,

 

Sounds like you are making improvement.  Insomnia is the worst, but you are learning to deal with it.  I can totally relate about enjoying the evening with your family around the TV.  I too developed rituals about sleeping and decided that if I didn't follow them to a tee, that is why my sleep may have been poor that night.  After you are off the V, your sleep will begin to improve.  It might take more time than you would like, but it WILL improve.  I thought I would never get better and my sleep would never return.  Now I sleep 5-8 hours almost every night.  I fall asleep naturally.  Sometimes I get so tired, I fall asleep in a chair or on the sofa.  Not saying that to rub it in, but to let you know that sleep will come back for you too.  Just over a year ago, I thought that was impossible for me.  I even took a 1.5 hour nap on Saturday afternoon and still slept pretty well Saturday night.  During the first year of my WD I couldn't nap to save my life.  It just wasn't possible no matter how tired I was.

 

You will get there.  Keep doing what you are doing and one day you will look back and be glad that you made it to the other side. 

Hi SeekingHope74

 

I can totally relate to your post .Prior to Benzo our lives were in auto pilot mode Never ever did we have to plan a sleep schedule . Now everything revolves around sleep .When my family is enjoying Netflix shows that time in the evening I get so frustrated .Just because I have to sleep early I miss that great family time .

 

Yesterday I asked my sister to pray to God for me .Just request him to RESET my life .That past normal mundane life that I never valued seems so precious now .

 

 

 

 

Sleep should improve, but everything theway said is true. I went through brutal insomnia and went through all the same feelings. I had a lot of anxiety about sleep every night. Felt like I had to do the “rituals” to bring sleep on. Now I don’t do any of that and I don’t worry at all anymore about sleep. Most nights now I can barely stay awake. At one time I was going 2 or 3 days at a time with nothing but micro-sleep. You all will get better, it just takes time. I know it sucks, but it will happen.

I have come to believe that sleep is a blessing from God! It is so valuable to a happy, healthy life. It is a reprieve from the reality of this broken world, and a trip to the stars! To go without it for so many nights ( I stopped counting my sleepless nights a few months ago!), is very painful! I feel anxious, distressed, and lifeless on some days. Others, without much sleep, I can recoup the day. Not much I can do about it except try to live the best I can.

Praying for sleep for all of us tonight!

Tigereye

Amen.