severe post-withdrawal syndrome or is it something else?

I took 1 mg + prn of Clonazepam for 17 years for anxiety and 7.5 mg of Zopiclone on and off for eight years for sleep. In April 2016 (two years ago!!!), I completed a rapid five-week diazepam taper, completely unraveled and am still suffering.

Since stopping Clonazepam in Spring 2016, my days have been EXCRUTIATING. I have been off work and cycle through varying degrees of generalized anxiety, panic, depression, suicidal ideation, agoraphobia, paranoia, racing thoughts and extreme feelings of fear and shame. Furthermore, insomnia (falling and staying asleep), intrusive thoughts, impaired cognitive functioning, social anxiety and hypersensivity to light, sound and visual chaos are constant and relentless.

I can’t tolerate being out in public for any length of time because I feel overstimulated.

Since stopping Clonazepam, I have been (mis?)diagnosed with bipolar 2, started Gabapentin and am currently tapering off 900 mg of it.

I re-started 7.5 mg of Zopiclone in September 2017 after not sleeping for four consecutive days and presenting in a hypomanic state. I am currently still taking 3.75-7.5 mg of Zopiclone and in the next couple of weeks, plan to switch over to 50-100 mg of Trazadone.

My family doctor and psychiatrist both do not believe that Clonazepam could have harmed me this much and do not attribute ANY of my current suffering to long-term benzo use/misuse. After I finish my Gabapentin taper, they have suggested that I try some combination of Valproic Acid and Seroquel.

Am suffering from severe post-withdrawal syndrome or is it really something else (Bipolar 2)? I am very frustrated and angry and cannot believe/accept that this is my life. Can anyone else relate? Any shares would be most welcome!

Hello maximum60   Welcome to benzobuddies

I am happy that you found us, you will receive much support here. I am sorry you’re still having a rough time of it.    Withdrawal can be a long process, the symptoms can take quite some time to settle down, they will go eventually.  Some of us take longer than others to heal, it took me 2 years.  Zoplicone, while not technically a benzodiazepine, is a "z" drugs and they do target the same receptors as benzos and also needs to be tapered

The Ashton Manual is a very good resource about benzo withdrawal.  It will give you information about the recovery process. Congratulations on being benzo free. Please feel free to ask questions, we have many supportive and kind members here who will support you and give sound advice. Feel free to check out the forum and post to any of our dedicated threads.

Here are a few helpful links:

Professor Ashtons Manual

Cold Turkey Detox & Rapid Withdrawal Board

Post withdrawal recovery support.

If you would be so kind as to add a signature (history of meds/doses etc) it will help members give you relevant advice this link will show you how to  ”Create a signature”

Welcome aboard, It will get better with more time

Magrita

Hello to you, Maximum60.  I have not posted on Benzo Buddies for a very long time.  I'm not sure why I chose to respond to your post.  Maybe God just led me to it for some reason.  One thing I can say is we have some similarities.  I took Xanax for 30 years.  For many years, I only used .25mg-.5mg at bedtime.  As the years went on, I started adding Ambien at bedtime as well.  Beginning around 2011, I started taking Xanax throughout the day, .5mg four or five times a day.  By 2012, I was out of my mind with severe constant anxiety, fear, and terror.  Depression also became severe, and I would have crying spells every day.  When I did research on benzos, I was so excited to have found the cause of my symptoms, and I tapered off in only 4 months, which is very fast.  I was already suffering so badly from tolerance withdrawal, I didn't want to wait around for a slow taper.  That may have been a mistake; I'll never know whether I would have been better off doing a slow taper.  I think your situation is similar to mine.  You would definitely be considered a long-time user of Clonazepam, which is equal in strength to Xanax. (1mg. Xanax = 1mg. Clonazepam).  You began using Zopiclone, which is the same type of "Z-drug" as Ambien.  And, you did a fast taper; although quite a bit faster than mine.  I took my final benzo ten months ago, and I have not even felt the slightest bit of improvement yet.  My main symptoms are severe anxiety, intense panic/terror attacks, mental and physical fatigue, brain fog, depression, racing/looping thoughts, insomnia, and hypersensitivity to sound/light/visual stimulation.  I am afraid that this is no longer withdrawal, and that I now have one or more very severe mental disorders.  However, I have heard that it can take a very long time to heal for people like us who took benzos for many years.  The constant presence of the drug over such a long time causes the brain to undergo adaptive changes, and these changes in brain chemistry often take many, many months to reverse.  During these ten months of withdrawal, a psychiatrist could easily diagnose me with any number of mental disorders; however, I don't believe it would be accurate because my symptoms are driven by brain damage caused by the drugs.  After being off Clonazepam for a year and a half, you were still having terrible symptoms, and you went back on the Zopiclone to get some sleep.  That is totally understandable.  In my opinion, it is very possible that you were still in a severe stage of withdrawal in September 2017, but I have no authority or medical training; I'm just a fellow sufferer.  But I will offer this as not an opinion, but a fact: there is a HUGE number of doctors out there, psychiatrists included, who do not have a clue about benzodiazepine withdrawal syndrome.  It was never taught to them, and they have never had any experience with it (as far as they are aware).  They have absolutely no idea how severe withdrawal can be or how long it can last, or what symptoms it can consist of.  Maybe they've had a few patients who were able to get off benzos without a lot of difficulty, and they just believe everyone should be able to do the same.  My hope for you is that you can become as educated as you possibly can about your condition.  I know how difficult that can be in the state we are in, because it takes a lot of time, energy, and focus to do research.  In addition to this forum, there are some experts who are extremely helpful, including Dr. Jennifer Leigh, Baylissa Frederick, and Don Killian.  Are you familiar with any of them?  I don't know you, but I'm going to send up a prayer for you tonight. 

Peace to you,

Jeff     

Hi Maximum! As a member, I welcome you to this forum!

I recognize just what you are writing. I have also been on benzo for quite a few years. But time passed, everything worked, and I knew nothing about tolerance and addiction. I couldn`t  understand why I felt so bad, and nobody else either. Got diagnoses like fibromyalgia, neurological diseases, but most anxiety. Got a referral to psych, but they also didn`t understand why I felt so bad. Certainly got a lot of different psychological diagnoses, and they probably thought I was a hopeless case.

I was forced to make a CT, my doctor refused to accept that I was so painful with withdrawal. She still doesn`t believe me, and there have been many discussions if I'm going to put out my opiates too. Then I found BB, and I have found so many amazing friends. This forum is my rescue, because it's so hard for family and friends to understand what we're going through. I hope you will enjoy yourself here, get a lot of knowledge about withdrawal, and many good friends!

Hi, Maximum -- I strongly strongly believe your symptoms are all benzo withdrawal.  I c/t after 15 years on and off first xanax and then valium.  I was hit very hard by the same symptoms you describe.  I am here to tell you it will get better and those symptoms will lessen in intensity over time.  I don't know how long that will take for you.  Everyone is different.  I know exactly how horrible you feel.

Carol

Thank you for your replies and sorry for my delayed response. After my original post, I promptly forgot about Benzo Buddies. I was only recently reminded when someone sent me a DM. I will look up all suggested resources.

I’m doing better than I was one year ago but am still really struggling. In March 2019, I was diagnosed with two neurological conditions: post trauma vision syndrome & visual midline shift syndrome. I believe that both conditions were caused by long-term benzo use/misuse and have been progressively getting worse since at least 2006. It’s like I have a concussion, not a physical concussion but rather a chemical one caused by benzos.

I am easily overstimulated and experience blurred vision, as well as dizziness, incoordination and cognitive impairment. I go for weekly specialized physio called NVPT & wear yoked prisms. The treatment takes approximately six months to complete. I'm two months in and already showing some improvement. I pray that these symptoms are going to clear up and that my PTSD symptoms improve.

Hope you all are showing improvements and feeling better as well.