Why do I smoke? Help me understand how addictions work, please

I recently understood that while I'm dependent on the benzo, I'm addicted to smoking cigarettes. I really don't understand why I do it as it's bad for my health, makes me look and smell bad and it's expensive. I consider myself clever but I keep on doing it despite wanting to quit. And then I realized is that if I want to stop, I'll have to understand why I do it.

 

So, to the people here that know about addictions, could you give me some guidance? How can I learn about this subject?

 

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Recent nicotine quitters in this thread:

 

OliveKitty - 12/11/2017

Magnesi - 10/4/2018

Cantfly - 15/4/2018

 

If you are quitting, ask to join the list!

 

edit: member request

I do, too.  It’s been in my plan to quit one thing at a time, so I’m not trying to do this one just yet.  OliveKitty quit during her taper and recommended Allen Carr’s book (also avail as audiobook), Easy Way to Stop Smoking.  Once I’m able to exercise, I’m havin at it. 

 

Maybe this book will help you?

 

 

There's a book "Freedom From Nicotine - The Journey Home" by John R. Polito.  It made me understand why I was addicted to nicotine, and it helped me quit permanently.  You can download it for free, I highly recommend it. 

possibly it gives you comfort, for what is lacking emotionally maybe.  eases your discomforts, and gives you a short burst of release from what stresses you,    maybe,    much like the benzos did for anxiety in most people.

 

  they both treat a problem /symptom not the root cause, of ones discomforts.

 

You have to address it emotionally not intellectually, the knowing how bad it is for your health wont  solve  the reason or cause of how or why it makes you feel good. Unearth that and your almost home

and free.

 

  Feelings and intellect work very  differently. 

 

I often think that is why many people suffer much longer than others in withdrawal as they try and solve things via the mind and intellect/ knowledge  as opposed to getting in touch with different ways of dealing with the uncomfortable feelings/ emotions, with a different emotional  method .

 

 

 

I quit during withdrawal at month 5. Id smoked for 5 years pretty heavily

 

Theres alot of maybe's here.

 

Maybe you have an addictive personality type. Not making a value judgement but some people do and you have to learn to make it work for you and not against you. i.e if you replaced this addiction with an addiction to healthy food and exercise, then you'd be fine right? ask yourself if you become fixated on things regularly and then have trouble giving them up. know yourself! (best advice you can give anyone)

 

Maybe you've fallen into the psychological trap that many do with cigarettes which is believing things that are false and now your fighting a demon thats way bigger than it needs to be

i.e.

they decrease stress, - this is an illusion. see the evidence: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10540594

they increase concentration - also bs, my grades went down as my smoking went up

they are a sleep aid/wake up aid - again this is just wrong, i slept substantially better off them

(alan carrs book is recommended by a lot for people who need to go through all these myths and debunk them fully)

 

Its hard to accept these are just illusions. Once you realize the power of the mind over body and accept its playing tricks on you here then you'll be ready to move on.

 

I would go to the store after being really desperate for my next cigarette. Then when i bought them i would go and get everything ready to go and then right before i lit the cigarette I would just pause and take a second to notice all my "symptoms" of withdrawal were gone. I was calm, breathing deep, relaxed and felt like i could concentrate. You have to really "see" it as psychological and not physical in a moment like this.

 

last maybe, maybe you found a little safe space mentally that you don't wont to let go of. a little friend in the desert, a friend who is your little secret partner in life, who makes life exciting and fun. If your still infatuated with them then you wont quit. You need to take a cold hard look at the next cigarette and think about how its killing you and taking lung capacity year by year which it is.

 

I had all three of these things I mentioned above and when they all aligned like planets in withdrawal, I was so terrified I knew I had to quit.

 

Remember, smokers don't GET to smoke, they HAVE to smoke. Join a forum, get help, don't do it alone. Slay this dragon dude. Get 'er done.

Uni, Ginger, thanks a lot for your suggestions. I've started "Freedom From Nicotine" by John R. Polito and also gave a look at Allen Carr’s book sample. I agree with their approaches that the best way to quit is by understanding why and how the addiction has us enslaved. It's a little hard to believe that I can quit without cravings as Carr argues though, but I'll give him the benefit of the doubt.

 

Skyblue, thank you also for your advice but an emotional approach doesn't work for me. This is totally different from what happens with the benzo, which I took as prescribed and would gladly stop taking completely this minute if it weren't for the dangers of withdrawal. The issue with cigarettes is different. I'm aware of all the problems tobacco brings but there's something stronger inside me that makes me keep on smoking. Only through understanding I'll be able to defeat this beast.

 

pinkyandthebrain, thanks also and congratulations for having quit smoking after being so addicted to it! I think my case is that cigarettes represent a pause, a "me time", a step back before action, an escape from messy situations, an opportunity for reflection. It's something intimate (I enjoy smoking alone). Joining an online group is also a good idea. Would you recommend any specific group?

 

 

Uni, Ginger, thanks a lot for your suggestions. I've started "Freedom From Nicotine" by John R. Polito and also gave a look at Allen Carr’s book sample. I agree with their approaches that the best way to quit is by understanding why and how the addiction has us enslaved. It's a little hard to believe that I can quit without cravings as Carr argues though, but I'll give him the benefit of the doubt.

 

Skyblue, thank you also for your advice but an emotional approach doesn't work for me. This is totally different from what happens with the benzo, which I took as prescribed and would gladly stop taking completely this minute if it weren't for the dangers of withdrawal. The issue with cigarettes is different. I'm aware of all the problems tobacco brings but there's something stronger inside me that makes me keep on smoking. Only through understanding I'll be able to defeat this beast.

 

pinkyandthebrain, thanks also and congratulations for having quit smoking after being so addicted to it! I think my case is that cigarettes represent a pause, a "me time", a step back before action, an escape from messy situations, an opportunity for reflection. It's something intimate (I enjoy smoking alone). Joining an online group is also a good idea. Would you recommend any specific group?

 

" Me time ".    is      that emotional self care I was meaning. 

 

Honoring your own needs.  Self care.

 

The emotional needs that we give ourselves, when life is tough  :'(  Time out 

 

Its about finding other ways to fill those  self care needs sometimes.

 

These black and white printed words are hard to interpret often.  :'( :'(

 

 

Nicotine addiction is probably in your genes. Nicotine is almost as addictive as heroin. It acts on dopamine receptors in the brain. Its mechanism of action is well explained here. Allen Carr’s book is very effective. I was trying hard to get addicted to nicotine as a teenager. Thought it was so cool. I failed. Couldn’t stand inhaling that smoke. Husband quit smoking like 5 yrs ago. He attends Smokers Anonymous meetings once a week.

 

I was trying hard to get addicted to nicotine as a teenager. Thought it was so cool. I failed

I don't remember how I started but it was probably like that too. There's no clever way of starting!

 

Thank you also for the link, Estee.

 

So, nicotine increases dopamine levels. That also happens when we feel pleasure, which indicates that nicotine causes a sensation of pleasure.

 

This makes sense to me. I feel the urge to smoke in three main situations:

• negative situations (stressful, boring, etc.): smoking helps me cope with or escape them for a while
  
• in certain positive situations, such as appreciating a beautiful landscape: the cigarette helps me "extract" maximum pleasure from the situation
  
• when I've been a long time without smoking; in these cases it's the other way around: I try to extract maximum pleasure from the situation by associating smoking to something nice like going outside, siting with a cup of coffee (before the benzo, of course, as now I don't drink coffee), etc.
  

This relationship with pleasure is probably why a future without cigarettes seems so grey (I'm reaching the first 48 hours without smoking and I don't now if I will make it).

 

I still don't understand though is why the urge to smoke is felt in my gut, not in my head.

 

 

" Me time ".    is      that emotional self care I was meaning. 

 

Honoring your own needs.  Self care.

 

The emotional needs that we give ourselves, when life is tough  :'(  Time out 

 

Its about finding other ways to fill those  self care needs sometimes.

 

These black and white printed words are hard to interpret often.  :'( :'(

 

 

 

Skyblue, yes nicotine seems indeed to help me cope with negative situations such as escaping a stressful and/or boring event for at least a few moments. I'm still trying to make sense of things. Thank you so much for responding 

Maybe you feel the urge to smoke in your gut as this is how anxiety manifests itself. Good luck with quitting cigs, Magnesi

 

 

 

I still don't understand though is why the urge to smoke is felt in my gut, not in my head.

 

yeah I remember this.... its the enteric nervous system link. Its why i used to have a coffee and cigarette before morning bathroom trip. It stimulates the enteric nervous system (nerves to GI system) and has a laxative effect. its bizarre but one of the many reasons i was attached to it. i was told doctors would recommend it back in the day as a laxative before the cancer link was established.

 

Theres alot of research that suggests this enteric nervous system is like a 3rd brain (right and left brain being 1 and 2) and that it interacts in a lot of ways. Kind of how you notice a queasy sensation in the gut from painful/embarrassing memories, like these 3 brains are all connected more closely than people think.

Some great views and info here..!!

I guess its getting that time again for me too..

I gave up with unusual ease at the initial crash of my taper for about 10mths (i think)... And it was way too easy to start again...

I have to stop looking for that perfect time to quit... -it never comes..!!

 

Maybe you feel the urge to smoke in your gut as this is how anxiety manifests itself. Good luck with quitting cigs, Magnesi

 

Thank you Estee, I really need it as this is a big fight too. Different from benzos, in which for me there are no cravings only withdrawal symptoms, while here I have almost no withdrawal symptoms only cravings.

 

I still don't understand though is why the urge to smoke is felt in my gut, not in my head.

yeah I remember this.... its the enteric nervous system link.

Yes, you're right pinky, and its amazing the amount of neurons and neurotransmitters this system involves! I wonder if this means we could calm our cravings through the stomach, for example by eating or drinking something with a calming effect (not a benzo, of course) - I'm gonna try with a hot herbal infusion: whenever I feel a craving I'll drink a little

 

Some great views and info here..!!

I guess its getting that time again for me too..

I gave up with unusual ease at the initial crash of my taper for about 10mths (i think)... And it was way too easy to start again...

I have to stop looking for that perfect time to quit... -it never comes..!!

Cantfly (I love your name!), yes you could try, I didn't plan to start, I just felt that day I had smoked too much and so I didn't smoke in the evening. Then next morning I decided to continue. It was very impulsive and far from ideal because I had planned to start tapering my AD and now I'll have to postpone it a little. If you go for it, we can encourage each other here! But you have to add "cantsmoke" to your message

60 hours without nicotine. Cravings are strong but I felt more energy at the gym and my skin is smoother

Maybe you feel the urge to smoke in your gut as this is how anxiety manifests itself. Good luck with quitting cigs, Magnesi

 

Thank you Estee, I really need it as this is a big fight too. Different from benzos, in which for me there are no cravings only withdrawal symptoms, while here I have almost no withdrawal symptoms only cravings.

 

I still don't understand though is why the urge to smoke is felt in my gut, not in my head.

yeah I remember this.... its the enteric nervous system link.

Yes, you're right pinky, and its amazing the amount of neurons and neurotransmitters this system involves! I wonder if this means we could calm our cravings through the stomach, for example by eating or drinking something with a calming effect (not a benzo, of course) - I'm gonna try with a hot herbal infusion: whenever I feel a craving I'll drink a little

 

Some great views and info here..!!

I guess its getting that time again for me too..

I gave up with unusual ease at the initial crash of my taper for about 10mths (i think)... And it was way too easy to start again...

I have to stop looking for that perfect time to quit... -it never comes..!!

Cantfly (I love your name!), yes you could try, I didn't plan to start, I just felt that day I had smoked too much and so I didn't smoke in the evening. Then next morning I decided to continue. It was very impulsive and far from ideal because I had planned to start tapering my AD and now I'll have to postpone it a little. If you go for it, we can encourage each other here! But you have to add "cantsmoke" to your message

Thanks Magnesi..!!

The nic is pre benzo, -accident related, -but it seems to fit well now..!

After this pouch is the deal.. -a few days prob...

My GI nerves have played a huge role in all this.. They were nutered by the high doses of meds post accident, -namely the opiates... Its been a long road, all about the guts..!!

Keep up the good work, one day at a time... I would hope things get much easier over the next few days..

Do you have anyone around you that smokes? -that is always my problem, though im usually safe at home.. C15 doesnt smoke..!! (Well not that i know of..)

Best Wishes,

Cantkeepsmoking..!!

 

60 hours without nicotine. Cravings are strong but I felt more energy at the gym and my skin is smoother

 

Great job, well done. Keep at it. 

I was trying hard to get addicted to nicotine as a teenager. Thought it was so cool. I failed

I don't remember how I started but it was probably like that too. There's no clever way of starting!

 

Thank you also for the link, Estee.

 

So, nicotine increases dopamine levels. That also happens when we feel pleasure, which indicates that nicotine causes a sensation of pleasure.

 

This makes sense to me. I feel the urge to smoke in three main situations:

• negative situations (stressful, boring, etc.): smoking helps me cope with or escape them for a while
  
• in certain positive situations, such as appreciating a beautiful landscape: the cigarette helps me "extract" maximum pleasure from the situation
  
• when I've been a long time without smoking; in these cases it's the other way around: I try to extract maximum pleasure from the situation by associating smoking to something nice like going outside, siting with a cup of coffee (before the benzo, of course, as now I don't drink coffee), etc.
  

This relationship with pleasure is probably why a future without cigarettes seems so grey (I'm reaching the first 48 hours without smoking and I don't now if I will make it).

 

I still don't understand though is why the urge to smoke is felt in my gut, not in my head.

I think it’s all of the things people have mentioned wrapped into one. But I do think it’s very physically and phsychologically addictive. I stepped down on nicotine patches for 5 months, with pretty much no cravings the entire time till down to 7mg would sometimes get cravings. I removed my last 7mg one a couple of weeks ago and am having long strong cravings, like when I first quit but the habit part is gone like, I don’t want one right after I eat, when I first wake etc. Just random strooong long cravings. I read it takes your brain 3 months to adjust without the nicotine. I believe in nicotine replacement therapy along with counseling, other support, and exercise. I havnt been exercising because I’ve been so depressed and exhausted, but will hopefully get there soon. I actually was getting on here to see if anyone was able to taper benzos while taking Wellbutrin for depression and or energy, cognition or quitting smoking. Only psych med I’ll consider at this point. Good luck.

100 hours without nicotine: cravings are still bad but other than waking up earlier I have no physical withdrawal symptoms

 

There's a book "Freedom From Nicotine - The Journey Home" by John R. Polito.  It made me understand why I was addicted to nicotine, and it helped me quit permanently.  You can download it for free, I highly recommend it.

Ginger, the book is great and is helping me a lot, thanks!

 

Do you have anyone around you that smokes? -that is always my problem, though im usually safe at home..

No, nobody smokes at home and it's not possible to smoke in public places here, job, restaurants, etc. I was always escaping for a cigarette. I guess it's good that nobody smokes around me but I kind of miss my escapes I won't give any advice, Cantfly, I'm still new to this quitting nicotine business. The only thing I can say is to avoid nicorettes. I got badly addicted to them a few years ago and almost got poisoned by so much nicotine

 

I think it’s all of the things people have mentioned wrapped into one. But I do think it’s very physically and phsychologically addictive. I stepped down on nicotine patches for 5 months, with pretty much no cravings the entire time till down to 7mg would sometimes get cravings. I removed my last 7mg one a couple of weeks ago and am having long strong cravings, like when I first quit but the habit part is gone like, I don’t want one right after I eat, when I first wake etc. Just random strooong long cravings. I read it takes your brain 3 months to adjust without the nicotine. I believe in nicotine replacement therapy along with counseling, other support, and exercise. I havnt been exercising because I’ve been so depressed and exhausted, but will hopefully get there soon. I actually was getting on here to see if anyone was able to taper benzos while taking Wellbutrin for depression and or energy, cognition or quitting smoking. Only psych med I’ll consider at this point. Good luck.

Good luck to you too, Scaredie! I hope things get better soon. I don't know much about Wellbutrin but wikipedia says its most important side effect is an increase in risk for epileptic seizures. Since benzo withdrawal also involves the risk for seizures, perhaps it would be better to not mix the two. I'm on an AD, Effexor, which I don't recommend and I'm dying to quit. I'll start tapering it off as soon as I feel more stable without nicotine, possibly within two weeks, I hope.

 

 

Thanks Magnesi,

NO, I wont be adding any support substances to this...

I think for me, the main thing is actually wanting to quit..!

Stay strong...

I'm  just seeing this thread for the first time. YAY everyone for quitting!!!!!!! As Uni said, I quit halfway through my taper and it couldn't have been a better decision!! Allen Carr's book helped me immensely, I mean, of course you are going to have some cravings but the main thing I got out of the book was that the very thing that was keeping me smoking was that last cigarette I had. The moment you put a cigarette out you are already starting to withdraw and need another one. The other BIG thing I realized was that 'withdrawal symptoms' of quitting nicotine are like a day in the park in comparison to benzo withdrawals!!!!! I'm in a couple of smoking cessation support groups and I almost laugh about the withdrawal symptoms people talk about (Of course I don't actually laugh) but compared to the Benzo Buddies board these people have nothing to complain about! Anyway, I was nervous to quit during benzo withdrawal because I was worried that I would not be able to handle it but in actuality the day I quit smoking my body started to feel so much better. Less poison. Plus it gave me something else to focus on besides benzos, and something to feel accomplished about.

You guys are AWESOME for quitting and please let me know if I can support you in any way! 

I recently understood that while I'm dependent on the benzo, I'm addicted to smoking cigarettes. I really don't understand why I do it as it's bad for my health, makes me look and smell bad and it's expensive. I consider myself clever but I keep on doing it despite wanting to quit. And then I realized is that if I want to stop, I'll have to understand why I do it.

 

So, to the people here that know about addictions, could you give me some guidance? How can I learn about this subject?

 

I just found a response on another forum for a possible area to observe regarding addiction when I clicked over to Quora, it was in social skills, relationships, behavior and I’m not calling you out on the subject she addressed (emotional dependence), though I see interesting ideas here. Questing for answers too.

 

______________________________________________________

 

Here is (her) one answer:

 

Love is that which supports your own and your partner's highest good — which means that you would never try to control or possess the other person. Love is about giving and sharing — not about getting. ... When you don't see and value yourself, you become emotionally dependent in your desire to get love.

 

Are you suffering from emotional dependency? You might want to go through this checklist to find out.

 

__I cannot feel lovable and worthy without another's approval.

 

__I need a lot of attention from certain people to feel that I am okay.

 

__I don't trust my own feelings. I need others to validate my feelings.

 

__I am afraid of rejection. I isolate, try to be perfect, agree with others, give myself up or shut down, along with many other things, to avoid rejection.

 

__I am afraid to be alone.

 

__I often feel empty inside.

 

__I am often anxious around others.

 

__I am often jealous in my relationships.

 

__I take others' uncaring behavior toward me personally.

 

__I get angry when others do what they want to do instead of what I want them to do.

 

__People have told me that I am too needy.

 

__I don't know what to do with myself when I'm not around others.

 

__I'm fine when I'm alone, but I get tense and anxious around others.

 

__I often find myself blaming others for my feelings - my anger, emptiness, insecurity, anxiety and so on.

 

__I believe that my good feelings should come from someone else loving me.

 

__I believe that my safety and security should come from someone else.

 

__I can't have fun unless I'm with someone else who knows how to have fun.

 

__I am often anxious or depressed, guilty or shamed, hurt or angry.

 

This is certainly not a complete list, but you get the idea. You are emotionally dependent when you are not taking full, 100% responsibility for your own feelings. Taking resposibility means compassionately nurturing your painful life feelings of loneliness, helplessness over others, heartache, heartbreak, sorrow and grief, and it means learning about how you are treating yourself and what you are telling yourself that is causing your wounded feelings of anxiety, depression, victim hurt, guilt, shame, anger, jealousy and so on. You are emotionally dependent when you are not defining your own inner worth - instead, making others' approval and attention responsible for your sense of worth.

 

When you are not taking responsibility for your own feelings and for defining your own worth, then you are dependent upon others to do this for you. This is being a victim of others' choices. This is emotional dependency.

 

The opposite of emotional dependency is emotional freedom. You attain emotional freedom when you decide to learn how to take 100% responsibility for all your own feelings.

 

Taking responsibility for your own feelings means:

 

You compassionately embrace core painful life feelings - loneliness, helplessness over others, heartache, heartbreak, sorrow and grief - and learn how to manage these difficult feelings, so that you don't have to avoid them with your various addictions. As long as you use addictions to avoid these feelings, instead of learning to compassionately manage them, you will continue to suffer from emotional dependency. These feelings are being caused by others and circumstances, but it is up to you to learn to lovingly manage them without closing down and turning to addictions.

 

You learn to explore the feelings that you create with your own thoughts and actions - your anxiety, depression, victim hurt, guilt, shame, anger, jealousy, rage, envy and so on. As long as you believe it is others' choices, rather than what you are telling yourself and how you are treating yourself, that is causing these feelings, you will suffer from emotional dependency. You will see yourself as a victim until you take full responsibility for how you are creating these painful feelings with your own self-abandonment.

 

Being emotionally dependent is a hard way to live. Discover your personal power by learning how to take responsibility for your own feelings, and becoming emotionally free.

 

( extra note there: Join Dr. Margaret Paul for her 30-Day at-home Course: "Love Yourself: An Inner Bonding Experience to Heal Anxiety, Depression, Shame, Addictions and Relationships."

 

Join IBVillage to connect with others and receive compassionate help and support)

Lol... -again..? -is someone sending me a message..??

 

Will be out of smokes today i think... So tomorrow it starts... looking forward to it, but seem to be smoking more today..!!

-internal mind games...!!

 

Lol... -again..? -is someone sending me a message..??

 

Will be out of smokes today i think... So tomorrow it starts... looking forward to it, but seem to be smoking more today..!!

-internal mind games...!!

 

I’m out of mj today too! I’m jonesing hard.

Cant - Are you on reddit? The Stop Smoking sub really helped me in the first few weeks. I also got an app on my phone called Smoke Free which was awesome. And every time I craved a cig I would remind myself that I was excited to be escaping the ball and chain of nicotine addiction. After 3 days the nicotine is flushed out of your body so if you can make it past the first 3 days then you have gotten through the worst of it. Which, is not nearly as awful as benzo w/d. You are a warrior! We all are!