Three months no Benzos. When will I have some relief? Is this permanent??

OK it been three months since I had my last dose of a Benzo.  It does feel like a huge accomplishment, however its hard to celebrate when I'm feeling so bad.  When I wake up in the morning I feel horrible.  Its scary.  Like my brain is overheating, making me dizzy.  It feels like a bad trip.  I try to fill my day with things to do.  I usually make myself walk or go for a bike ride.  I am very forgetful.  Sometimes I find myself standing in a room wondering what I was doing.  I take alot of showers.  The hot water falling on my head provides some relief.  Falling asleep has gotten alot better recently.  I used to love sleeping in before I stopped clonazapam.  It felt so good in the mornings after good sleep.  Now when I wake up I feel very weird.  The doctor gave me Clonadine for sleep.  Apparently its a blood pressure medication and "totally safe".  I'm not sure.  I don't trust any drugs now.  I was on Clonazapam for more than 10 years.  I was told I needed it because it slowed down my over active neurons.  I never abused the drug just took it as prescribed.  Now, after stopping I've lost my job, ability to support my family and generally feel horrible.  Reading posts on here that after 2 and 3 years clean people are still feeling bad is very discouraging.  I know we're all different.  I hope I heal sooner than that.  I wish I could sleep or be put unconscious till my brain heals!  Does anyone know what I can do to feel better?  Was my original doctor correct and my brain needs the Clonazapam?  I've got to do something and fast.  If I don't get back to work I will lose my home.

The hardest thing about benzo withdrawal is that it goes against how we are brought up thinking about illness.

We feel ill, so we look for the solution, we find the solution so we expect to get better. In this case we find the solution (tapering off benzos) but we initially become more ill, then we may get a little better again then we fall ill again and so on. Once we initially feel some relief in a window we tend to think of that as a turned corner but when we go back into a wave we have the experience of recovering so we believe there must be a new cause for the new illness. It's frustrating and confusing.

 

It is most definitely not permanent, the unfortunate proof of that is how changeable symptoms are, if it was permanent you would more than likely be stuck with one set of symptoms, but literally everyone on here can describe a different set of symptoms one month to the next. The fact things are changing means they can and will change for the good, but its very hard to make timeframes.

 

Hard to say when you will get relief, 3 months is still quite early. As simple as it is, eat as healthy as possible, exercise as much as your body allows you without overdoing it and try meditation and mindfulness so you have more control on the days where your symptoms are worse.

Are your symptoms still getting worse over time?  Month one you were doing pretty good but after that your symptoms kept getting worse each month.  Has that turned around for you?  When should symptoms start getting better?  I had some windows early on.  My emotions came back.  I started playing guitar again.  But then I stopped getting windows.  I look forward to having a window again.  Can a window be created or triggered by something or is it just random?  I have been trying to eat healthy and exercise.  thanks for your reply

So sorry you are suffering so badly. I've been there. 3 months is early and yes it DOES get better so please hang on. No one knows how long it will take, but we have to keep going one day at a time. I am 17 months off, and doing so much better-most of my symptoms have gone. So please take hope and hang in there.

Is there any herb or homeopathic remedy that might help with withdrawal and/or anxiety,

So sorry you are suffering so badly. I've been there. 3 months is early and yes it DOES get better so please hang on. No one knows how long it will take, but we have to keep going one day at a time. I am 17 months off, and doing so much better-most of my symptoms have gone. So please take hope and hang in there.

 

That’s great you’re doing much better. I’m in the worst wave at a little over 10 months. When did yiu turn a corner?

have you tried Buspar?  It is a non-benzo - my doc just gave it to me to help me through the withdrawal - to reduce anxiety.  I have not started it yet.

The "its not permanent" bandwagon should really subscribe to the protracted board. Endless stories of 5, 7, 8 even 10+ yrs off benzos and never fully healed.

The "its not permanent" bandwagon should really subscribe to the protracted board. Endless stories of 5, 7, 8 even 10+ yrs off benzos and never fully healed.

 

I’d rather subscribe to the  7, 10, 12, 13, 18 months page. Thanks though sunshine.

The "its not permanent" bandwagon should really subscribe to the protracted board. Endless stories of 5, 7, 8 even 10+ yrs off benzos and never fully healed.

 

I’d rather subscribe to the  7, 10, 12, 13, 18 months page. Thanks though sunshine.

 

Exactly. Heck of a thing to post in a Benzo Free Celebration thread.

So sorry you are suffering so badly. I've been there. 3 months is early and yes it DOES get better so please hang on. No one knows how long it will take, but we have to keep going one day at a time. I am 17 months off, and doing so much better-most of my symptoms have gone. So please take hope and hang in there.

 

That’s great you’re doing much better. I’m in the worst wave at a little over 10 months. When did yiu turn a corner?

 

Hi at 6 months the worst of the mental symptoms (panic, anxiety, depression) were over. Between 6-12 months was still tough but more tolerable. Around 12 months on, it's been a lot easier, though I am still waiting for 100%. I never had great windows, just a gradual improvement over time with many ups and downs. I still have some physical weakness, sensitivity to stress and sleep issues-waiting for those to resolve but oh so thankful for all the healing that has happened already.

Are your symptoms still getting worse over time?  Month one you were doing pretty good but after that your symptoms kept getting worse each month.  Has that turned around for you?  When should symptoms start getting better?  I had some windows early on.  My emotions came back.  I started playing guitar again.  But then I stopped getting windows.  I look forward to having a window again.  Can a window be created or triggered by something or is it just random?  I have been trying to eat healthy and exercise.  thanks for your reply

 

I am far from an expert and I am still tapering off 0.5 mg Clonazepam.  I looked at your signature and you tapered off of a very large dose in a small amount of time.  Perhaps because you did that it is going to take you a bit longer to get back to normal.  I have done extensive research on particularly Clonazepam tapering plus I work in a hospital and I have learned that you should only taper about 10 percent every two weeks.  Personally I am only tapering 10 percent every month and even with that small amount of a taper I am having side effects.  Just give yourself some time to heal, read, listen to videos and make sure you are taking care of yourself.  Great job that you are Benzo free!  Don't give up!