2nd night of No Sleep! I give up!

Last night very broken to no sleep, tonight no sleep at all! I am tired but my brain refuses to shut the hell off! Both nights I took no Nyquil and look at me, suffering! As I expected I CANNOT SLEEP without taking Nyquil, thats a fact now as usually if I take it I do nod off, now Im awake almost 44 hours now

 

This is what I get for taking advice to not take anything, MORE SUFFERING! I even tried a little wine tonight and it made me sleepy but of course NO SLEEP!

 

I am just waiting now for me to start going mad and crazy with hallucinations pretty soon, then maybe I can go to the Emeergency room and they can put my ass in a coma for a week, maybe that will help.....

 

yeah still awake, probably for another wholeday, guess its back to nyquil tonight, I really don't want to be up a whole third day, I tried 2 days without it and it failed

Mark, I've been there and know how horrible you feel. Sleep, or something we can call sleep does come back, eventually. Had I known I could survive on little or no sleep like I have this last year, I would have never filled that prescription approx 20 years ago. One thing I have learned on here is we do get what is called micro sleep that we are not aware of.  As I tapered, now and then I did sleep and since I have finished tapering, sleep comes more and more often. when it does happen, I relish the feeling of having slept drug free. It is a great feeling, that I have not had in 20 years. I tried taking OTC meds when I started tapering, and decided to give that up, as I felt worse and really didn't sleep much. I did find that a small teaspoon of natural honey helped for a night or two. I have to wait 4 weeks or more to try it again and then it sometimes does not work as well as it did at first. Sleepy time tea I do drink every night before bed which usually puts me right to sleep. I have a routine of drinking a tiny cup of tea, drinking a small amount of milk and eating a bit of peanut butter, then do some self hypnosis, deep breathing,  pressure points for sleep and reading a book. It helps to put me to sleep, but not to keep me sleeping. I take what I can get!

Hang in there!

Mark,

If drinking Nyquil really helps you sleep then I suppose that it wouldn't hurt to keep taking it. What little damage it could potentially cause might be offset by any sleep that it provides. As your GABA receptors come back on line you can back off the Nyquil. Usually an OTC drug like that does very little to help with withdrawal insomnia. Hopefully you are not taking a huge dose to knock you out. That might create worse issues that a few nights without sleep. Good luck.

well last night I took a full dose since I was up for a VERY LONG TIME, most nights I try to take less then a half a dose or about half, AFter like 60 hours at 12am I finally passed out I assume and woke up around 9:30am or so, of course still feeling bad but who wouldnt after 60+ hours

Last night very broken to no sleep, tonight no sleep at all! I am tired but my brain refuses to shut the hell off! Both nights I took no Nyquil and look at me, suffering! As I expected I CANNOT SLEEP without taking Nyquil, thats a fact now as usually if I take it I do nod off, now Im awake almost 44 hours now

 

This is what I get for taking advice to not take anything, MORE SUFFERING! I even tried a little wine tonight and it made me sleepy but of course NO SLEEP!

 

I am just waiting now for me to start going mad and crazy with hallucinations pretty soon, then maybe I can go to the Emeergency room and they can put my ass in a coma for a week, maybe that will help.....

 

yeah still awake, probably for another wholeday, guess its back to nyquil tonight, I really don't want to be up a whole third day, I tried 2 days without it and it failed

 

Mark,

 

Please take this in the spirit it was intended and that is to help.  Not put you down.  If you need to take something OTC, then that is your call.  No one is "shaming" you for not making the USA "I can't sleep" Team.  That advice is for those that can accept it.  BUT, you are doing yourself ZERO favors EXPECTING to feel or certain way or have hallucinations or some other issues from not sleeping.  As others have said, your body is being ravaged by glutamate, cortisol, adrenalin, etc.  That is why people in Benzo WD sleeplessness can go for days and even weeks without getting tired. 

 

But for you to expect to start hallucinating because you were awake for 60 hours is just plain ridiculous.  I have gone a lot longer many times and so have many others.  It's not a contest, but you seem to acknowledge something one day and then the next day act as if you never heard it before.  FOUR MONTHS off after a 2nd round of BENZOs is EXTREMELY early to be expecting to sleep on your own.  And as I recently told you, it is up and down with good days and bad days and the bad days/nights can return even months after you start feeling better.  It has nothing to do with LUCK and everything to do with ACCEPTANCE and not having such a negative attitude.

 

No one is out to get you.  God is not against you.  If you think it is all GLOOM, DESPAIR, AGONY and BAD LUCK, then it could very well be.  As you think so you are in most cases.

 

ok then, how come others on this chat have said they have had Hallucinations within 48 hours awake? Is that a lie? Just asking! ALso I said that I was tired, Im always tired during the day but I always am more awake like 2 hours before bed, its just odd to me

Mark, when I was at my worst in terms of no sleep, I had a single hallucination that was no big deal. For just a moment I saw a group of shadowy figures standing in my open doorway. As soon as I saw them, they were gone and I knew that they were never really there. I actually found the experience to be more interesting than alarming. I have never really heard from anyone said that they had a more intense hallucination so it probably is not all that common with lack of sleep.

Mark M, my heart goes out to you.

P.S.  In early withdrawal, I went 3 days straight without sleep.  No hallucinations after that, but still... 

"ok then, how come others on this chat have said they have had Hallucinations within 48 hours awake? Is that a lie? Just asking! ALso I said that I was tired, Im always tired during the day but I always am more awake like 2 hours before bed, its just odd to me"

 

Don't make other people's recovery your recovery.  Your recovery is unique to you.  That's why I got off of this site for a long time.  I was making other people's recovery and symptoms my recovery.  If it took them 2 years to start sleeping again, then I would "convince" myself I would need 2 years as well.

 

Just because they had hallucinations being awake 48 hours doesn't automatically mean you will too?  Maybe they would have had them regardless of the amount of sleep they got?  I don't think they are lying.  I had hallucinations too, but do not think they were sleep related?  It was just odd random things for a week or two.  Never had any since.

 

Your sleep cycle (circadian rhythm) is messed up.  Maybe try to get it back on a "normal" time line by slowing going to bed earlier each night.  But as Aloha said, I would take sleep when you can get it.

 

Good luck!

"ok then, how come others on this chat have said they have had Hallucinations within 48 hours awake? Is that a lie? Just asking! ALso I said that I was tired, Im always tired during the day but I always am more awake like 2 hours before bed, its just odd to me"

 

Don't make other people's recovery your recovery.  Your recovery is unique to you.  That's why I got off of this site for a long time.  I was making other people's recovery and symptoms my recovery.  If it took them 2 years to start sleeping again, then I would "convince" myself I would need 2 years as well.

 

Just because they had hallucinations being awake 48 hours doesn't automatically mean you will too?  Maybe they would have had them regardless of the amount of sleep they got?  I don't think they are lying.  I had hallucinations too, but do not think they were sleep related?  It was just odd random things for a week or two.  Never had any since.

 

Your sleep cycle (circadian rhythm) is messed up.  Maybe try to get it back on a "normal" time line by slowing going to bed earlier each night.  But as Aloha said, I would take sleep when you can get it.

 

Good luck!

 

This site is for support and exchanging personal experiences to help other people.  If the information being offered here doesn't agree with you, there's no need to throw fits.

well the other night I slept with my Nyquil like 8 hours after being up 60, last night...what a shock, no sleep again...Try without Something and it never happens....

 

First time I was off ativan was 11 months, yet I seen no signs of improvement, Theway says most especially in that time if they are not healed have good windows, I didnt have any which is why I went back for like 3 and a half months on the ativan

 

Seems no one knows what Pamelor is here and I was on that 8 of the 11 months I was off the Ativan, its not a Benzo but an SSRI I think, so I don't think that has anything to do with stuff

 

Right now I been up a day again, sometimes I feel not so tired then I get hit with, DAMN THIS SUCKS BAD! Get in bed at night when Im laying then Im more awake

 

All I can say is if Nyquil stops working then God Help Me, thats my only option for sleep as I wont go back to Benzos, if it stops working then I wont sleep ever

well the other night I slept with my Nyquil like 8 hours after being up 60, last night...what a shock, no sleep again...Try without Something and it never happens....

 

First time I was off ativan was 11 months, yet I seen no signs of improvement, Theway says most especially in that time if they are not healed have good windows, I didnt have any which is why I went back for like 3 and a half months on the ativan

 

Seems no one knows what Pamelor is here and I was on that 8 of the 11 months I was off the Ativan, its not a Benzo but an SSRI I think, so I don't think that has anything to do with stuff

 

Right now I been up a day again, sometimes I feel not so tired then I get hit with, DAMN THIS SUCKS BAD! Get in bed at night when Im laying then Im more awake

 

All I can say is if Nyquil stops working then God Help Me, thats my only option for sleep as I wont go back to Benzos, if it stops working then I wont sleep ever

 

Mark, Pamelor is a "nerve" medication and an AD (Anti Depressant)/SSRI.  ADs, such as Pamelor, have their own set of side effects and WD. 

 

8 hours of sleep in one night is improvement.

 

What prompted you to go on Ativan?  How did your insomnia start, how often did you have it and how severe was it?

 

I ask, as many other people that have non-benzo insomnia, get past it by not worrying if they sleep or not.  Not talking about it with anyone else.  Not Googling anything about sleep, etc. 

 

You can get back to sleeping without taking anything, but you have to accept your situation.  Being off of Benzos is an improvement and a success.  Learning how to tolerate and live with the lack of sleep becomes way easier over time.  Changing your mental attitude about everything from negative to positive will go a long way toward getting better. 

 

I will bet your pre-benzo insomnia wasn't as bad as your post-benzo insomnia?  Could be wrong?

 

It is very common to sleep one night and not the next during recovery.  It is very up and down for a long time for some.

 

It's good that you won't go on Benzos again.  Drugs are a dead end road.  You will eventually reach tolerance and then need to take more.

 

 

well the other night I slept with my Nyquil like 8 hours after being up 60, last night...what a shock, no sleep again...Try without Something and it never happens....

 

First time I was off ativan was 11 months, yet I seen no signs of improvement, Theway says most especially in that time if they are not healed have good windows, I didnt have any which is why I went back for like 3 and a half months on the ativan

 

Seems no one knows what Pamelor is here and I was on that 8 of the 11 months I was off the Ativan, its not a Benzo but an SSRI I think, so I don't think that has anything to do with stuff

 

Right now I been up a day again, sometimes I feel not so tired then I get hit with, DAMN THIS SUCKS BAD! Get in bed at night when Im laying then Im more awake

 

All I can say is if Nyquil stops working then God Help Me, thats my only option for sleep as I wont go back to Benzos, if it stops working then I wont sleep ever

 

Mark, Pamelor is a "nerve" medication and an AD (Anti Depressant)/SSRI.  ADs, such as Pamelor, have their own set of side effects and WD. 

 

8 hours of sleep in one night is improvement.

 

What prompted you to go on Ativan?  How did your insomnia start, how often did you have it and how severe was it?

 

I ask, as many other people that have non-benzo insomnia, get past it by not worrying if they sleep or not.  Not talking about it with anyone else.  Not Googling anything about sleep, etc. 

 

You can get back to sleeping without taking anything, but you have to accept your situation.  Being off of Benzos is an improvement and a success.  Learning how to tolerate and live with the lack of sleep becomes way easier over time.  Changing your mental attitude about everything from negative to positive will go a long way toward getting better. 

 

I will bet your pre-benzo insomnia wasn't as bad as your post-benzo insomnia?  Could be wrong?

 

It is very common to sleep one night and not the next during recovery.  It is very up and down for a long time for some.

 

It's good that you won't go on Benzos again.  Drugs are a dead end road.  You will eventually reach tolerance and then need to take more.

 

It started out of Nowhee, All I know is I had OCD before it starting in 2009, I was taking Fluvoxamine and Invega at the time, once that got better my Insomnia Started for no reason whatsoever...My Insomnia started quick, like after one day BAM hit with it for no reason and its been here since

 

And Like I stated 8 hours is ONLY from being up 60 hours and Taking Nyquil, I know if I didnt take it that I would have been up another night, Ill be up now at least 36 hours before I sleep tonight or try to...

Fluvoxamine is another AD/SSRI.  Invega is an anti-psychotic drug.  Both could have had WD and maybe the onset of your insomnia was a result of when you quit taking them?  Who knows.  My insomnia started out of the blue for no reason.  I wasn't on any drugs and never took any prior to that.  But my pre-Benzo insomnia was just a gust of wind compared to my post-benzo insomnia, which was a Category 5 Hurricane. 

 

Prior to going through severe insomnia, I thought my other insomnia was unbearable and no one could survive if they didn't sleep 8 hours each night.  So I started taking Benzos to make up for the sleep loss, which wasn't every night.  Benzos worked great at first, so instead of seeing if I could sleep without them, I just kept taking them until they quickly quit working.  After going through horrible Benzo WD insomnia, I would GLADLY take the pre-benzo insomnia.  I learned that we can live on very little sleep.  It is no fun, but it can be done until sleep returns and it will return.  But if you are going to continue to be negative and EXPECT certain "bad" things (hallucinations) to happen to you as a result of not sleeping, then you are going to have an EXTREMELY hard time getting past your post-Benzo insomnia. 

 

Other people have been poly drugged for 20+ years and their sleep returned.

 

No one has control over how their recovery plays out. Complaining about how long you have been up is NOT going to help anything. Your recovery process is going to do what it will do.  And it will end when it ends.  No one knows how long that will take or how many times you will be awake for 60 hours or more.  It is a guessing game. I went through about a 3 month period where I would only get some sleep one night and then zero the next night and sometimes it was 2 zero nights or even 3 zero nights in a row.  But it eventually went away. 

 

You don't know if you would not have slept without taking something after being awake 60 hours?  Maybe you would have?  Mark, you are not broken, you just need to let your brain and body heal.  Some people take a long time to heal, but gradual improvements during that healing make life way more tolerable and livable. 

 

Since you did not have insomnia your whole life, there is an excellent chance it will significantly improve over time. Your sleep might never get back to pre-2009 levels, but it will improve enough for you to live a "normal" life.  But that will never happen if you decide you can't take it anymore and add in more Rx drugs to help sleep with.

 

You will be 4 months off on April 10.  4 months is VERY EARLY in the WD process for most.  You'll get there.  Acceptance is key.  Not being negative is key.  Not expecting the worst is key. 

Fluvoxamine is another AD/SSRI.  Invega is an anti-psychotic drug.  Both could have had WD and maybe the onset of your insomnia was a result of when you quit taking them?  Who knows.  My insomnia started out of the blue for no reason.  I wasn't on any drugs and never took any prior to that.  But my pre-Benzo insomnia was just a gust of wind compared to my post-benzo insomnia, which was a Category 5 Hurricane. 

 

Prior to going through severe insomnia, I thought my other insomnia was unbearable and no one could survive if they didn't sleep 8 hours each night.  So I started taking Benzos to make up for the sleep loss, which wasn't every night.  Benzos worked great at first, so instead of seeing if I could sleep without them, I just kept taking them until they quickly quit working.  After going through horrible Benzo WD insomnia, I would GLADLY take the pre-benzo insomnia.  I learned that we can live on very little sleep.  It is no fun, but it can be done until sleep returns and it will return.  But if you are going to continue to be negative and EXPECT certain "bad" things (hallucinations) to happen to you as a result of not sleeping, then you are going to have an EXTREMELY hard time getting past your post-Benzo insomnia. 

 

Other people have been poly drugged for 20+ years and their sleep returned.

 

No one has control over how their recovery plays out. Complaining about how long you have been up is NOT going to help anything. Your recovery process is going to do what it will do.  And it will end when it ends.  No one knows how long that will take or how many times you will be awake for 60 hours or more.  It is a guessing game. I went through about a 3 month period where I would only get some sleep one night and then zero the next night and sometimes it was 2 zero nights or even 3 zero nights in a row.  But it eventually went away. 

 

You don't know if you would not have slept without taking something after being awake 60 hours?  Maybe you would have?  Mark, you are not broken, you just need to let your brain and body heal.  Some people take a long time to heal, but gradual improvements during that healing make life way more tolerable and livable. 

 

Since you did not have insomnia your whole life, there is an excellent chance it will significantly improve over time. Your sleep might never get back to pre-2009 levels, but it will improve enough for you to live a "normal" life.  But that will never happen if you decide you can't take it anymore and add in more Rx drugs to help sleep with.

 

You will be 4 months off on April 10.  4 months is VERY EARLY in the WD process for most.  You'll get there.  Acceptance is key.  Not being negative is key.  Not expecting the worst is key.

 

Well actually pre 2014 levels, October 2014 is when my sleep went to hell, 2009 till like 2013 is when I took the Invega and Fluvoxamine for my OCD...I still slept fine then

OK,

 

So your sleep has only been messed up for just under 4 years and over 3 of those years you were on Ativan or trying to recover.  You never let yourself fully recover after being off 11 months and then went back on for another 3 months.  Reinstating (restarting Benzos) typically leads to a LONGER WD the 2nd time around.  So if you were not healed at 11 months the first time, this time around MIGHT take longer?  Again, no one knows.  It's a guessing game.  But the fact that you can get 8 hours of sleep regardless of how many hours you have been up at just under 4 months off a second time proves that you are healing.  Even when I would go 72-96 hours with zero sleep, I didn't always get a lot of sleep the next night when I did sleep.  It was usually 2-5 hours of very broken sleep.  Then the next night was zero again.

 

Celebrate the successes that you have.  If you got 8 hours after being up 60 hours, it will happen again and not necessarily after having to be up for 60 hours.  At 8 months off I was still getting 2 and 3 zero nights in a row.  Heck I just had 4 zero nights over a period of 4 weeks from January 29 to February 18, 2018.  And in between the zero nights, I had lots of 2-3 hour nights.  That whole "WAVE" lasted about a month.  I averaged about 15-20 hours per week for most of it and at that point I was 18 months off.  I will be 20 months off on Thursday.  Although I had pretty good sleep almost every night the past 6 weeks.  It can still be very UP and DOWN for a long time.  And I am not coming on this site complaining that it is no longer WD after 20 months and it must be something else.  I know Aloha has had some poor sleep from time to time and he is almost 35 months off.  Siggy had issues for almost as long too.

 

I KNOW for a FACT my sleep issues are still Benzo WD related to this day as I never had these types of sleeping issues prior to Benzos. Benzos are the "but for" cause of my sleep issues.  "But for" me taking Benzos, I would not be having sleep issues now.  Or if I did, they would be very sporadic and light compared to what I have endured as that is how they were BEFORE I started down the Benzo road to hell.

 

However, my life is very "normal" now and pretty much the way it was BEFORE Benzos.  And when I do get an off night of little or no sleep, I easily deal with it without much problem.  If anything, this Benzo journey has taught me how to COPE and how to have HOPE.  I know I will get back to pre-Benzo sleep (or very close) one day. 

 

At some point, you just get sick and tired of being sick and tired, and then you are ready to ACCEPT your situation and just not care any longer and THAT is when the healing really starts to kick in and your sleep begins to become something you get almost every night.

 

Stop second guessing whether or not what you are experiencing can "no longer be WD" cause you have been off for X amount of time.  It is all WD related whether you believe it or not.  It is all WD related whether you think it "doesn't take that long to heal."  It is all WD related whether or not you believe 1mg of Ativan is not a high dose and being on 2 years is not a long time. 

 

As many others have said, I will say too, the "million dollar question" is when will this all end?  NO ONE knows and to keep second guessing that it ended when you still feel like crap and don't sleep is unhealthy and will only prolong your WD as you will then turn to other reasons why you feel like you do and don't sleep.

 

 

 

 

OK,

 

So your sleep has only been messed up for just under 4 years and over 3 of those years you were on Ativan or trying to recover.  You never let yourself fully recover after being off 11 months and then went back on for another 3 months.  Reinstating (restarting Benzos) typically leads to a LONGER WD the 2nd time around.  So if you were not healed at 11 months the first time, this time around MIGHT take longer?  Again, no one knows.  It's a guessing game.  But the fact that you can get 8 hours of sleep regardless of how many hours you have been up at just under 4 months off a second time proves that you are healing.  Even when I would go 72-96 hours with zero sleep, I didn't always get a lot of sleep the next night when I did sleep.  It was usually 2-5 hours of very broken sleep.  Then the next night was zero again.

 

Celebrate the successes that you have.  If you got 8 hours after being up 60 hours, it will happen again and not necessarily after having to be up for 60 hours.  At 8 months off I was still getting 2 and 3 zero nights in a row.  Heck I just had 4 zero nights over a period of 4 weeks from January 29 to February 18, 2018.  And in between the zero nights, I had lots of 2-3 hour nights.  That whole "WAVE" lasted about a month.  I averaged about 15-20 hours per week for most of it and at that point I was 18 months off.  I will be 20 months off on Thursday.  Although I had pretty good sleep almost every night the past 6 weeks.  It can still be very UP and DOWN for a long time.  And I am not coming on this site complaining that it is no longer WD after 20 months and it must be something else.  I know Aloha has had some poor sleep from time to time and he is almost 35 months off.  Siggy had issues for almost as long too.

 

I KNOW for a FACT my sleep issues are still Benzo WD related to this day as I never had these types of sleeping issues prior to Benzos. Benzos are the "but for" cause of my sleep issues.  "But for" me taking Benzos, I would not be having sleep issues now.  Or if I did, they would be very sporadic and light compared to what I have endured as that is how they were BEFORE I started down the Benzo road to hell.

 

However, my life is very "normal" now and pretty much the way it was BEFORE Benzos.  And when I do get an off night of little or no sleep, I easily deal with it without much problem.  If anything, this Benzo journey has taught me how to COPE and how to have HOPE.  I know I will get back to pre-Benzo sleep (or very close) one day. 

 

At some point, you just get sick and tired of being sick and tired, and then you are ready to ACCEPT your situation and just not care any longer and THAT is when the healing really starts to kick in and your sleep begins to become something you get almost every night.

 

Stop second guessing whether or not what you are experiencing can "no longer be WD" cause you have been off for X amount of time.  It is all WD related whether you believe it or not.  It is all WD related whether you think it "doesn't take that long to heal."  It is all WD related whether or not you believe 1mg of Ativan is not a high dose and being on 2 years is not a long time. 

 

As many others have said, I will say too, the "million dollar question" is when will this all end?  NO ONE knows and to keep second guessing that it ended when you still feel like crap and don't sleep is unhealthy and will only prolong your WD as you will then turn to other reasons why you feel like you do and don't sleep.

 

Theway, you forget 60+ hours PLUS Nyquil..Cause I guarantee you I wouldnt sleep without it! I would be just like you at 96 hours if I didnt! So its not healing, I am sad to say, my only saving grace is Nyquil....Once that stops working Im screwed!

Dude, I had enough...this is my last reply.  You don't get anything or comprehend anything.  At 96 hours awake, I didn't take anything.  You just don't get the WD thing at ALL.  So I guess you are SCREWED.  It's not WD Mark, you're just SCREWED.  There...I hope that makes you happy?

 

Good Luck!

Dude, I had enough...this is my last reply.  You don't get anything or comprehend anything.  At 96 hours awake. I didn't take anything.  You just don't get the WD thing at ALL.  So I guess you are SCREWED.  It's not WD Mark, you're just SCREWED.

 

Good Luck!

 

I was just Mocking you on your reply to me at saying 8 hours of sleep is GOOD for you during WD, I simply said the 8 hours was givin to me because of Nyquil, nothing else

 

Hell 8 hours without any nyquil or meds, I wouldn't be saying stuff then...heck 4 hours without anything I would consider an improvement...

ThEwAy2,

I tried replying to your PM, but was blocked. Are you not accepting PMs?

No, I just checked, It is on for Buddies and Administrators, unless it needs to be set to something else?  Just changed it to be on for everyone.  Hopefully that will work?

k Theway, you don't have to reply to me anymore...just know in a years time Ill post again saying "Still have this Crap" Then you will say, its still withdrawl lol.....

Mark

 

It will still be WD if you are not sleeping in a year. What else could it be after 2 cold turkeys from a high dose of Ativan?

 

Not to mention the AD and anti-psychotic drugs you were on for almost 5 years prior to benzos.  You’ll get past this if you quit all Rx drugs.  Just think you could have been 16 months off now if you didn’t reinstate.  Oh well, you can do this

Mark

 

It will still be WD if you are not sleeping in a year. What else could it be after 2 cold turkeys from a high dose of Ativan?

 

Not to mention the AD and anti-psychotic drugs you were on for almost 5 years prior to benzos.  You’ll get past this if you quit all Rx drugs.  Just think you could have been 16 months off now if you didn’t reinstate.  Oh well, you can do this

 

What Else, I will just go back to the Pre Insomnia before starting all the drugs state...once I get rid of all this stuff that I still supposidly have Ill be right back to Insomnia Without the Drugs

I still think your insomnia started after you quit the other 2 drugs in 2014. Both can cause WD related insomnia.  You then took Ativan that must have worked for awhile or you would not have stayed on it for two years?  Lots of people have insomnia and learn to live with it without drugs.  Chasing sleep makes it almost impossible to come by.  Only you are in control of your recovery. Not drugs.  It’s all up to you and how much you do the right things to help with your sleep