Resist you can heal

 

hello everyone I have to translate everything I write, so I apologize if I'm wrong. in 2015 I started to take half a lazazepam tablet of 2.5 mg for an insomnia due to a family grief, it worked I slept perfectly and so I continued to take it without knowing what it was and what risks I was going to meet, no one ever said the risks of addiction, after about a year of intake every night I started to have strange symptoms, sometimes I had a slight anxiety, never had before, sometimes I felt the neck stiffen, never had before, I was a sportsman I was 40 km mountain bike in the middle of the countryside, sometimes vertigo appeared, I state that I had never had any health problems, I was a salutist, never smoked, I could drink a beer every now and then, I ate well and I did a lot of physical activity. The strange symptoms were increasing more and more, so I started to run among the doctors, I started doing analysis on analysis, I did everything that exists in the medical field to understand what was happening to me, I spent a lot of money and I have a folder clinic that it takes a truck to transport it, nobody understood what I had and I started a calvary with the symptoms that increased and became more and more strange, the sight blurred, the concentration decreased, I had a job as a manager and little by little I had to put myself because I did not have the ability to withstand the rhythms of work.

I could not understand what was happening to me and I entered a vicious circle of anxiety that resulted in panic attacks. As a successful person, I had to downsize my whole life with a suffering that increased every day. I do not dwell too much on the symptoms because you know them well. In 2013 I happened to read the manual of Dr. Asthon and I came to mind that innocuous tablet that I took every night, so I decided to reduce to stop taking it. From that moment my life has become hell, you know the decommissioning so I do not suffer too much, however I thought to die several times, I could not get out of bed, I had become a human larva, I thought to lose everything: my family, my beautiful 6-year-old girl, my beautiful girlfriend, my job, my home, my life, but I held out, I lived in hell 24/7 for 18 months then I managed in August 2015 to dispose of the lorazepam, after 10 years of use. With the enormous willpower I have continued to live, I am very determined and despite the pains the atrocious sufferings have gone on and little by little I have recovered my life, the path has been horrible, something that only those who have tried it he can understand. I lived a military life, in bed at the same time, always awake at the same time, every morning yoga, meditation, biological food practically vegetarian, although I was in pieces I continued to work sometimes I dragged because I did not even have the strength to to breathe, I bought a boxing bag and in the evening with all the vertigo gradually I started to download the anxiety and move as much as possible doing physical activity etc. etc. Today, 31 months after my disposal, I still have my family, my job, my life. I will not dwell further but I will say resist, resist, resist, even when your life seems to be broken because it is not so it is healed, you come back to life, today all the fears, all the sufferings, all the symptoms are part of the past and my life is back beautiful I enjoy everything that happens to me and I'm happy. This drug is a terrible poison, it is a crime that no one denounces this medical disaster, but your willpower can 

Bravo! Way to be one who comes out shining. Amazing work, and praise to the one who made our bodies and even very souls capable of withstanding possibly the most dangerous designer drug on the planet.

 

Thank you for this. It’s easier to read than a lot here. I struggle being able to focus and hold my attention on most writing styles on benzobuddies and on forums, it’s usually too much agony to try and I have been fluent in American English since 4. I am not trying to sound like a jerk in that, but if I do I just can’t be too concerned.

What a fighter you are. Wishing you a great life

Thank you for sharing your story Luca, those of us still in the thick of it can feel healing is a myth at times! Your story has helped restore some much needed hope for me today! Enjoy your life to the fullest, I am sure you will 🙏

You must always fight even when you see everything black, I was convinced not to ever heal again, but it is not so, this our misadventure is terrible, difficult to understand who has not tried it, it disorients you, no one clearly tells you what you have and what you have to do. It is important to listen to those who have already done the journey before you. The real cure is the time, you have to resist, go on, even if you are now gradually getting better, the healing is so slow, at least for me, that often you do not even notice it, it did not scare me and trust me , I helped myself in all possible ways, I was constant and determined, but I did not focus on the symptoms I tried to distract myself by continuing to do everything I did within the limits of my energy, my daughter and my partner were a goal indispensable that gave me the strength of a lion. I dragged myself, I cried, I was desperate but I never lost hope, I struggled every minute, every hour, every day, every month, every year. If I look back I wanted someone to tell me the things I'm saying to you and that's why I write to you, I understand your suffering and I'm near you, you have to resist, your life is waiting for you and it's beautiful even if you do not see it now . I have been weeks with 1 or maximum 2 hours sleep at night, now I sleep 8 hours in a row and on Sunday even 9, anxiety is a bad memory and life is beautiful, so beautiful that I had forgotten. Do not win negativity, do not win who for profit has betrayed us, do not win who speculates on our suffering, resist, resist, resist, you will become very strong and you can help those suffering, you will find the beautiful aspect of life.

Thank you Luca for such a informative success story. I have been battling the benzo demon for 24 months now if you count the first 4 month withdrawal that my ignorant doctor talked me out of and told me it is impossible for withdrawal to last that long. I’m now 20 months post taper and still in the thick of it. Your story gives hope to us long term sufferers. It is easy to think this will go on forever when everyday is nothing but suffering. Thank you again and enjoy the rest of your wonderful and well earned life.

Luca-

Thanks so much for sharing your story. It helps to hear from others who have survived the Lorazepam poison.

Luca, thank you for the gift of your story. It's is giving me the courage to carry on fighting on a very, very hard day...

 

Wishing you and your family the long, beautiful, healthy life together you so richly deserve.

 

With love and gratitude,

Lara

Thank you Luca for your lovely reply! As you know it is those who have got through to the other side and are compassionate enough to encourage people still suffering that keep hope alive! To be honest i wouldn't blame anyone who had healed if they just got on with their lives and never wished to see, hear, write or read the word benzo again, but it is great that some do!  In the main I try to face this with as much positivity as I can, I have surrendered myself to the process and try to accept what is happening, the fear and what ifs can get overwhelming at times though! I will refer to your words when it all gets a bit much from now on! All the best in your future mate!

Congratulations, Luca! And thank you so much for coming back to share your story with everyone here. It's a wonderful storage of courage and perseverance, and it provides encouragement and hope for the rest of us.

 

I wish you and your family all the best!

 

Congratulations Luca,

Your success story provides us who are still struggling with encouragement, hope and perseverance that we will also attain recovery like you and all others who have successfully recovered. Thank you so much for coming back and share your story.

 

Wishing you and your family a joyful, healthy and blessed life that you well deserved!

 

Hugs and blessings!

Pi

Thank you for your beautiful story! So happy to hear of your healing and you inspire me  to go on...🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡

I really think you may have saved my life today.  Thank you for your post.  It gave me some hope that I will someday recover.  I am coming up on 1 year from the date (April 1) when  I went to detox and dropped off my 3 mg per day Xanax dose (with alcohol, Adderall, and anti-depressants). The detox, at one of the "best" rehabs in the country, was insane as I look back.  I dropped Xanax that day and went on a Librium taper for 14 days.  I have found month 10-11 to be very hard with little relief.  I pray every day for the panic attacks to end.  I will continue to put one foot in front of the other partly because of your message.

 

Thank you

 

 

Thank you so much Luca. I had such a hard day today and reading your story was a real breath of fresh air. I feel like my sleep will be more restful as this will be the last thing i read before I go to bed. I’ll take your words with me. I am so grateful for your encouragement and really happy you are doing well and can resume your life. Thank you thank you.

Thank you, thank you thank you!!! We needed to hear this who are still in the hell.

 

22 months out and I don't see light but success story like this always give me some hope.

Did you had burning head scalp in any time in withrawl? That's is my worst symptoms.

Thank you again to come back and give us some hope

Love and healing to you all

Vica

Luca-

 

Wonderful.  God bless you!!

 

Angel

Thank you so much Luca. I had such a hard day today and reading your story was a real breath of fresh air. I feel like my sleep will be more restful as this will be the last thing i read before I go to bed. I’ll take your words with me. I am so grateful for your encouragement and really happy you are doing well and can resume your life. Thank you thank you.

Luca-

 

Wonderful.  God bless you!!

 

Angel

 

Amen

Bump.