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When Bootstraps Aren’t Enough...5yrs off & HEALED...


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Hi daisygirl38!

Glad you liked my story! Thank-you!  :smitten:

 

Sorry to hear you have this awful symptom too. Unfortunately, I still have the internal vibrations only to a lesser degree now. They actually did not start until I was off the benzo poison. The vibrations are mostly in my head now. It literally feels like my brain is jiggling. When I get stressed out it intensifies. My neurologist told me it is part of the peripheral neuropathy from the fluoroquinolone Cipro.

 

So I don't honestly know what caused this horrible symptom Benzo or Cipro Poison, but it has gotten much better over the years. At least now just my brain vibrates instead of my whole body  :o What helps most when I can't ride Harley is cranking up the bass sub-woofer on my stereo... hey, what ever works right...Harley or Stereo  file.php?id=5859

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Ah Bella  :smitten: I’m so very happy you’ve written your success story. What a long and torturous road you traveled. I’m absolutely in awe reading the amount of work you accomplished living in what must surely be a sliver of paradise. A testament to your spirit and sheer determination!

 

You’re doing tremendous work giving back by providing and helping with tapering tools and plans. Plus some really good advice! Very well done.  :thumbsup:

 

Sending love and hopes the remaining sxs continue to lessen. Now go take a spin on that Harley for me, alright?  ;)

 

 

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Hey there Saga!

 

Thank-you for your kind reply!  8)

 

I will get right on that Harley as soon as the weather warms up a bit...can hardly wait!  :yippee:

 

 

 

 

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Wow Bella,

that's some journey!  Kind of feel like a piece of urban candy floss compared to what you did, and do on a daily basis! 

This is one of those times that the character trait of being stubborn can serve us all I figure!

Thanks for all you do on these boards too, I see you so many places with such solid information....

:):smitten:

SS

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Wow Bella,

that's some journey!  Kind of feel like a piece of urban candy floss compared to what you did, and do on a daily basis! 

This is one of those times that the character trait of being stubborn can serve us all I figure!

Thanks for all you do on these boards too, I see you so many places with such solid information....

:):smitten:

SS

 

:laugh:

 

Hey SS! Thanks! You are too funny!! Yes, we gotta be stubborn as mules to get through the benzo hell 8)

 

Hello Flora! Thanks!  8)

 

 

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Bella, what a great story and thank you so much for sharing! You are a true warrior!

It sounds like you have peace in your life... I am happy for you.

I hope I can get they this and find peace as well🙏

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  • 3 weeks later...

Great to hear your story. Have been on benzos for 15 years before I started my second taper.  Irony is, I was TotaLLY off using a more rapid taper per the shrink.  I had rebound anxiety after that that escalated, and then after 6 months became full blown psychosis with personalization and derealization, total loss of sleep and appetite.  Went back to the shrink, who after trying lyrica  and antibody (clueless) just put me back on BENZOS (ativan).  If I would have had this group back then, I would.Have just suffered it out,knowing I wasn't looking my mind.  Now I moved to valium 15 mg, and am 1/2 way down 7mg.  Builder has helped me with a liquid water/vodka taper for the rest of it.

Only thing is, I am now 66 and have other health problems as well. My husband and I have a nice retirement fund, and I am not completely horribly sick, but am fatigued and have no motivation.  I am looking at at least another year for normality.

May I ask how old you were when you finally got well?  I don't need to be a "self sufficient mountain woman", but I need to get out and live my life and share the housework and gardening with my husband like I used to. 

Reading your success story, and this group was really a lifeline this week!

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I pray I can keep my sanity as you have...as I begin my exit from klonopin. I will need all the help I can get. The funk feeling some days are relieved by ingestion of the Rx. I hope the fear of losing my mind will abate and a slow taper will make this tolerable. Damn this drug. Thanks. All help appreciated.
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Bella, what a great story and thank you so much for sharing! You are a true warrior!

It sounds like you have peace in your life... I am happy for you.

I hope I can get they this and find peace as well🙏

 

Thank you sleepless shell! I do have peace in my life now. Going through this process has certainly given me peace & a whole new perspective on what really matters in life. I find pleasure in simple things now.  :smitten:

 

 

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Great to hear your story. Have been on benzos for 15 years before I started my second taper.  Irony is, I was TotaLLY off using a more rapid taper per the shrink.  I had rebound anxiety after that that escalated, and then after 6 months became full blown psychosis with personalization and derealization, total loss of sleep and appetite.  Went back to the shrink, who after trying lyrica  and antibody (clueless) just put me back on BENZOS (ativan).  If I would have had this group back then, I would.Have just suffered it out,knowing I wasn't looking my mind.  Now I moved to valium 15 mg, and am 1/2 way down 7mg.  Builder has helped me with a liquid water/vodka taper for the rest of it.

Only thing is, I am now 66 and have other health problems as well. My husband and I have a nice retirement fund, and I am not completely horribly sick, but am fatigued and have no motivation.  I am looking at at least another year for normality.

May I ask how old you were when you finally got well? I don't need to be a "self sufficient mountain woman", but I need to get out and live my life and share the housework and gardening with my husband like I used to. 

Reading your success story, and this group was really a lifeline this week!

 

Hi Marja2!

 

I was 57 when I finally felt better. You will get there too. It really is just a matter of waiting it out. I did find that eliminating as much processed  unnatural things from my life helped immensely. I am glad my success story helped you in some way. Hang in there Marja, things will get better for you... Please keep me up to dated with your progress!

 

:smitten:

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I pray I can keep my sanity as you have...as I begin my exit from klonopin. I will need all the help I can get. The funk feeling some days are relieved by ingestion of the Rx. I hope the fear of losing my mind will abate and a slow taper will make this tolerable. Damn this drug. Thanks. All help appreciated.

 

Hi jasper67now-

 

I see you are new here...let me assure you that you will get better. The key is to taper at a rate that is tolerable. Some people for what ever reason end up with intolerable symptoms. Many times this because of lack of knowledge about the proper way to taper. Read as much as you can on the various boards & ask lots of questions. Maybe you can "right the ship" so the rest of your taper is more tolerable  :thumbsup:

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  • 3 months later...

Hey there Bella Girl!

 

Nice name!  ;)

 

I read through your posts...sorry you are having such a difficult time. I was where you are now...benzo withdrawal IS the most difficult thing that I have ever endured...If I did it, anyone can...best advice I can give you is to stay strong & keep pushing yourself forward every single day....

 

Our tapering choices may effect the intensity of our symptoms. I believe that I made the mistake of not going up high enough when I reinstated (I only went up 50%) I see where you are considering reinstating & going slower...think this may help you become more functional & enable you to cope with symptoms better. I have found that 10 - 15% above the dose taken just prior to rapid taper/withdrawal works well for many who I have followed over the years. Just a suggestion for a start point if you decide to go back up in dosage to get relief :thumbsup:

 

Want to assure you that things will get better for you. Try to be patient....keep yourself distracted & continue reaching out on the forum...never give up hope...your old self WILL return  :therethere:  :mybuddy:

 

Bella :smitten:

 

 

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Great story and healing journey. Wish I had the resources to do all the positive things you did to help in your recovery. Money can't buy happiness but it sure can help you heal your body and mind in this world.

 

 

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Great story and healing journey. Wish I had the resources to do all the positive things you did to help in your recovery. Money can't buy happiness but it sure can help you heal your body and mind in this world.

 

Hi colley-

 

Thanks....I do not know first hand about "Money can't buy happiness but it sure can help you heal your body and mind in this world." but a great line of credit sure can!  ;D

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  • 1 month later...
Looking for long term user success stories tonight and found yours. So glad you made it thru and  Thank you so much for sharing! I pray I can come write such a wonderful success story someday soon! And I’m 50 so 57 gives me hope!
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  • 3 weeks later...

Bella Amis, thank you for sharing your beautiful success story, I'm truly humbled by your courage and resilience. You give me great hope for my own journey, and I feel so fortunate that you were the first to respond to my introduction.  Someday, when this is behind me, I'd like to shake your hand.

 

Many continued blessings to you!  :smitten:

 

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hello

I'm overwhelmed with this site and am trying to find tapering advise on the two benzos I am tapering.

After 10 days of around the clock panic attacks I reinstated lorazopam at .5

 

I don't know where to go from here. Should I just hold the .02 ml of temazopam at night? Sis I start kindling?

Please if anyone could advise me. I had been tapering for 3.5 months

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Hello

I'm overwhelmed with this site and am trying to find tapering advise on the two benzos I am tapering.

After 10 days of around the clock panic attacks I reinstated lorazopam at .5

 

I don't know where to go from here. Should I just hold the .02 ml of temazopam at night? Sis I start kindling?

Please if anyone could advise me. I had been tapering for 3.5 months

 

 

Hello Godhelpme-

 

I will help you navigate this forum. To get help with your taper you need to post this on our taper board. Please click on the link below & we will help you  :thumbsup:

 

click here> General Taper Plans<click here

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Bella,

Your story is inspirational. And not that different from mine.

 

I AM so glad you became a Mod. People here need you. I did my time as  MOD. That was a great experience, and one I am very proud of. My life now is quite normal, except for the fact that I went through something most people dont even know exists. My journey was long and hard, like yours. But we both got through it. That is something to be proud of.

Best wishes to you....

east-=

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 1 month later...
What a wonderful and inspirational journey.Thank you for sharing.Love the whole self sustaining type of living.Very happy for you.It sure is beautiful in that part of the country.Congratulations.
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Hello Wind, east, ghm & one-

 

Glad you all find inspiration from my journey. This whole ordeal has really been an eyeopening experience for me. So much of my life style has changed in such a positive manner since I chose to get off benzo's. NO REGRETS.

 

You are ALL warriors and survivors as well. Though our struggles we grow in many ways especially if we focus on what can be...the sky is truly the limit. Wishing all of you full healing, and a joyful, productive life...never give up hope and always reach for the stars...

 

images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTtwIOK_Ep3kC54P0JGBdLbPar-HEE2vSICzgiu9MQc8s37Hcbu

 

:smitten:

 

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