Free, Pushing Forward, and Small Victories

So there's quite a bit to share. Thought I would lay out what's been going on over the past few weeks in case it helps someone out:

 

1.) Doctors kept telling me I had GAD, but I knew it wasn't right. How do you feel fine one day and horrible, uncontrollable panic the next? GAD doesn't explain the nerve pain, rigid neck, headaches, dizziness, insomnia and weak limbs. I sought out a top addiction psychiatrist for a fourth opinion. Yes--a fourth opinion. To be clear, I don't consider myself an addict, but someone who took a supplement (Kavinace Ultra PM--Phenibut)as prescribed by a doctor and then got sick after stopping it. I figured my best bet would be to see someone who is familiar with withdrawal and what it might look like. I also wanted his opinion on the best way to move forward--especially since my GP put me on Klonopin to deal with the panic from that.

 

2.)  The psychiatrist was very helpful. He was familiar with Phenibut, validated that I was going through withdrawal and advised to not take medications other than the necessary ones I take for an autoimmune issue I have. He also disagreed with the other doctors who wanted to put me on an SSRI which he said would not help me based on my situation. Yay. . .a doctor that believes in trying other things other than medication! He said Phenibut withdrawal mirrors benzo withdrawal as they both work on GABA receptors. Since I had been taking a low dose of Klonopin as needed for a little over two weeks (0.25mg), he advised I stabilize on that and do a steady and relatively quick taper and to get off to prevent more problems. He said benzos are not the best way to deal with panic.  This made sense to me based on my length of use and low dose, so I followed these directions and I dropped down to 0.125 for a week, followed by 0.625 for a week and then jumped. I'm free one week today! Freaking out. . .

 

3.) He advised staying away from anything that can affect GABA as it will make things worse. He specifically listed Kava, Ashewangda, Valerian, etc. No supplements, vitamins, caffeine or alcohol.

 

4). He said since I am already off the Phenibut for several weeks already, unless things became unbearable to stay the course and focus on myself. He said it will take time.  He suggested things like acupuncture, craniosacral therapy, light exercise, meditation, yoga and HeartMath to help me focus on my healing. He also suggested something called somatic therapy which helps to bridge the gap between mind and body and can help to cope with trauma. I've had one session so far and I like it.

 

5.) I confronted the doctor who gave me the Kavinace and it went better than expected. She called the manufacturer, filed a formal complaint with them, filed a complaint with the FDA and then pulled the product from her shelves. Perhaps this will save someone else?

 

On the last day of my 0.0625, I started to feel worse, but it's hard to know if it's a wave from the Phenibut or the Klonopin. Last week was AWFUL. It felt like when I was taken off the Kavinace. The anxiety got worse as did the insomnia on top of all the other symptoms. But today I had a window, so I have to celebrate that. I woke up with no anxiety, but still had some physical symptoms which are easier to deal with. . .at least for me.

 

I don't know how long this window will last, but considering I got it 2 months off of the Phenibut and 1 week off the Klonopin, I think it is a good sign to get one this early--even just one day. What do you think?

I've had windows since day 8 of being off. They are getting more frequent and longer duration everyday. I still get waves but they aren't really as intense as in the beginning

Wow, Rondo! That is great you started to see windows so quickly. I hope you continue to do well and improve!!!