Author Topic: Need a Job  (Read 8060 times)

[Buddie]

Need a Job
« on: May 07, 2010, 07:35:57 am »
I've never had a job.  I really need one within maybe half a year or preferrably less.  Need money and need something to do besides site here.

Anyway I've always had huge anxiety about getting a job.  I wonder if anyone else had that and actually GOT a job and ended up ok at it.

I;'m not sure what I fear exactly.  MAYBE that people will judge me.  MAYBE that I will do bad at it.  MAYBE justs cared of the unknown since I've never had one.

I really don't care deep down if people are a little rude to me.  I deep down know I eventually do great at what I want to do rgeat at.  So I guess more than anything it's me being scared of change.  Scared of what "could" happen.  Actually I felt GREAT all day today and if I felt THIS relaxed I could handle most of my fears, I think.  It's just somehow being able to go get the job and feel relaxed which is hard to do.  The first step.

Well I hope someone can help.  Therapists sure helped zero.  They'd tell me I should get a job and then they wouldn't really do anything at all to get me easing into it.  Maybe my first step is to figure out what in the world I may want to do for a job.  That right there is a big issue.  I have no idea.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Need a Job
« Reply #1 on: May 07, 2010, 07:15:44 pm »
[...] - if you need a job to support yourself then that's what you need to do (more later), but if you don't need one try doing volunteer work to ease yourself into taking on the responsibility. Volunteers need to do a good job and are very important, but there isn't as much pressure and hours are usually more flexible. When you get comfortable start looking for a paying job. Do you mind if I ask how old you are?

If you need a job, then you have to take stock of your skills, training, education, and talents. Make a list. Then make a list of what interests you. There are tons of websites and books at the library that can help you put togther a resume based on your specific situation.

I'm not sure how a therapist can ease you into getting a job - but I'm thinking that confidence is your biggest issue and maybe they can help with that.
But know this - people screw up at their jobs all the time, people screw up interviews all the time - point is you will probably screw up at some point too - its no biggie. It's how you will learn the ropes. I've been working my whole life and when I look back at some of my early mistakes I cringe - but it happens to the best of us. Take the pressure off yourself and just do the best you can with honesty and integrity and you will be fine.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Need a Job
« Reply #2 on: May 07, 2010, 08:49:26 pm »
I'm 33.  I pretty much need one within half a year to maybe 9 months for sure because I otherwise would not be able to afford even living on my own anymore.

Out of all of these years I somehow can't figure out what I would like doing. I think I've got to at least SOMEWHAT like SOMETHING about a job or I'll just be miserable thre every day.

I do a little programming to make things for forum sites (different software than this site) and people pay em to make them custom programs or I could sell them publicly.  So I can get some money that way, but of course income would fluctuate if I do that and it's questionable if it would be enough.  Also I'm, tired of being in the apartment all the time so would be nice to have a real job and meet people.  Volunteering is suggested a lot and may be good for the time being.  I don't know.

Oh and yes I know... people do screw up andmuch worse than me.  So it's just a matter of getting my brain to constantly comprehend that.  Probably these benzos clouding my brain where it forgets.  lol

And I made a stupid mistake on an interview and I just laughed it off later and didn't get mad at myself.  So I don't know why I'm still afraid.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Need a Job
« Reply #3 on: May 08, 2010, 01:41:29 am »
Hey [...],

I have very similar anxiety as you about the job thing. I've been working at my job now for over 5 years and I've been very nervous about the idea of changing jobs. I think you hit it on the head with the "fear of the unknown". It has to be very normal and nobody wants to be judged. I agree with [...] about having confidence and just doing the best that you can.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Need a Job
« Reply #4 on: May 08, 2010, 02:14:09 am »
Hi.  Thanks for the response.  I kind of waver in confidence from day to day for some reason.  But anyway all I know is I've got to somehow get a job at some point.  I personally think once I GET the job and go to it I would have less fears.  But I'm not sure how to get myself to do it.  I get kind of panicky even thinking about it.  Partly because I'm worried I can't physically handle it.  I think about how even when doing nothing it seems liekd ays don't have much time other than sleeping and eating in them and so then I think a job is like giving up your whole lifeand that I would eat, sleep, and go to a place I hate.  That's my fear.  That I'll never be happy because I won't even have time to.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Need a Job
« Reply #5 on: May 08, 2010, 02:25:48 am »
[...], I'm no psychologist, but I recognize your fears. It sounds like what they coin as "anticipatory" worrying. You can't control everything that "may" happen - you can't even control what definitely happens! Because our worries are usually way off and not reality based anyway. We fare much better than we think. Take comfort in that. The "what if" thinking has got to go, try to live in each moment and not look to far ahead or let your imagination run wild.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Need a Job
« Reply #6 on: May 08, 2010, 04:03:26 am »
Yes I try to eliminate what if thinkig, but you do have to plan some thigns. You have to look ahead to have goals and whatnot.  I've eben trying to stop worrying about thigns I can't control for years now, but my body seems to not care that I know in my brain not to do it.  It's ike whatever part of the brain is for intelligence... that part knows not to worry.  but I guess another part of the brain controls reactions because I still feel anxiety at the same time as I KNOW it's not rational or useful.

I feel bad today in general.  othing seems to go right.  I'm itching right now and wonderinf ig mosquitos are in here.  And I'm bored, lonely, and unsure what to do about emds and a job.  So tons of annoying decicions and discomfort.  It's driving me nuts that I'm itching because I'm in an apartment so they'll pretend nothing is biting me.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Need a Job
« Reply #7 on: May 08, 2010, 01:31:31 pm »
Another thing you might want to consider is that your thoughts can impact your emotions and your emotions can impact your actions. Therefore if you find yourself stuck in a negative thought pattern recognize it as negative then choose to think of something positive in your life instead.

It sounds easy but is not I know from experience. It's like I want to worry about things as if I dont know how else to think.......Anyways I've started to recognize this 'distorted thinking' for what it is and focus my attention on things that make me feel good about myself and the world.

Everyone has things they can feel good about it's just a matter of if they choose to recognize those things. Also, a good job, lots of money, fill in the blank does not eliminate irrational fears. We are the only ones who can do that and it comes from within. Change your perspective change your life. Recognize when your worrying then choose not to.

This is the advice that I've been given and it's helped me tremendously. Sorry your having a rough time.   
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Need a Job
« Reply #8 on: May 08, 2010, 01:37:14 pm »


[...]... thinking of you.. one day at a time, right??

 :smitten: :smitten: :smitten:
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Need a Job
« Reply #9 on: May 08, 2010, 01:41:58 pm »


One thing I read lately is about visualization.  If you think of all the success stories out there, the ones who make it have a thought/or image of what they want their life to be.. they continue to think on that thought... and their positive thinking MAKES IT HAPPEN!  If you read any self help book or autobiography/success stories.. they will tell you that there is definitely a connection between thinking positive and being successful.  Negativity is a downer... depression is a downer.. there is a connection.

SEE the JOB you want, think about it.. visualize it... and then eventually your thoughts will materialize. Not that it's a magic button, but it sure does help.

Just my 2 cents .. or is that 1.00 now with inflation?? ;)
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.