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What Not to Say to Someone Depressed


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"So, what are you going to do about it?"

 

"That is not enough to be depressed about"

 

"Go get some medical help, already!!!"

 

"If you don't do anything about this, it is not going to end well!"

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"What's your plan B?" - I hate that!

 

I would hate that, too. In 2008-2009, my plan "A" was starting to fall apart, so I went to plan "B". Except that plan "B" ended up not working, so I went for plan "C" in 2009-2010 which restored my sanity, but also introduced many difficulties. Then, even though plan "C" was promising, I abandoned it for plan "D", which started ok, but things degenerated over time, so that plan "D" became plan "BZD", unfortunately.

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  • 2 weeks later...

“I know just what you mean”

 

 

Not possible, almost impossible. Not impossible but yeah... definitely, it’s impossible.

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Okay I get that people say the wrong thing to depressed people all the time, perhaps because they want to say something and just don't know what to say.

 

Help us out here.  What TO say to someone who is depressed?

 

 

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Okay I get that people say the wrong thing to depressed people all the time, perhaps because they want to say something and just don't know what to say.

 

Help us out here.  What TO say to someone who is depressed?

 

I know you are not choosing to be depressed.  Who would? (Works for me).

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Okay I get that people say the wrong thing to depressed people all the time, perhaps because they want to say something and just don't know what to say.

 

Help us out here.  What TO say to someone who is depressed?

 

Funny you should ask this, since I just had a neighbor express to me with much distress how depressed they are/have been. I was leaving as they were just returning home so I had to keep the conversation brief.

 

I immediately said “I understand”. I realized soon after saying that that I really didn’t understand her depression….how can I? I sure hope that didn’t compound her distress.

 

I suppose it is better to say something brief and that doesn’t sound accusatory than to NOT say anything at all.

 

I plan on bringing up the subject next time we talk. She really sounded like she was reaching out for help. People are certainly dealing with more complex issues than even just a few years ago.

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Okay I get that people say the wrong thing to depressed people all the time, perhaps because they want to say something and just don't know what to say.

 

Help us out here.  What TO say to someone who is depressed?

 

Funny you should ask this, since I just had a neighbor express to me with much distress how depressed they are/have been. I was leaving as they were just returning home so I had to keep the conversation brief.

 

I immediately said “I understand”. I realized soon after saying that that I really didn’t understand her depression….how can I? I sure hope that didn’t compound her distress.

 

I suppose it is better to say something brief and that doesn’t sound accusatory than to NOT say anything at all.

 

I plan on bringing up the subject next time we talk. She really sounded like she was reaching out for help. People are certainly dealing with more complex issues than even just a few years ago.

 

I've told depressed people I understand.  I don't mean it in that I understand their depression as if I feel theirs, but I do understand what depression is like because I suffer from it.  These are people who already know I suffer because I've made a point of letting them know, however.

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Okay I get that people say the wrong thing to depressed people all the time, perhaps because they want to say something and just don't know what to say.

 

Help us out here.  What TO say to someone who is depressed?

 

Funny you should ask this, since I just had a neighbor express to me with much distress how depressed they are/have been. I was leaving as they were just returning home so I had to keep the conversation brief.

 

I immediately said “I understand”. I realized soon after saying that that I really didn’t understand her depression….how can I? I sure hope that didn’t compound her distress.

 

I suppose it is better to say something brief and that doesn’t sound accusatory than to NOT say anything at all.

 

I plan on bringing up the subject next time we talk. She really sounded like she was reaching out for help. People are certainly dealing with more complex issues than even just a few years ago.

 

I've told depressed people I understand.  I don't mean it in that I understand their depression as if I feel theirs, but I do understand what depression is like because I suffer from it.  These are people who already know I suffer because I've made a point of letting them know, however.

 

Same here. I tend to say "I understand" or similar things. Not that I understand the exact texture or circumstance of their depression, but it's more to sort of offer a friendly hand and tell them "you're not alone".

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