Has anyone gained a significant other during WD?

I read that these things are better with a partner. As a single guy in a major city, I have tried to go on dates, but for the most part, am embarrassed when I start having symptoms, and have trouble paying attention.

 

Has anyone dated or found a significant other during tapering or WD? Did it help?

Apparently it is possible but I haven't had any luck. I did date one girl briefly early on but I was in no shape to handle any kind of relationship at that point so I completely blew it. Since then I have tried to meet people online and did manage to meet a few in person but nothing really ever came of it and for the last 6 months it has been a complete mind numbing slog. It's like someone flipped a switch and the last 15-20 girls I have talked to disappear after a few messages. Even the ones where I thought we had great chemistry where we were messaging for a couple of weeks- they simply up and disappear for no apparent reason. Pretty demoralizing.

 

In about a month I will be moving out of my mom's house into an area that should have a lot more girls I would want to date and I am hoping that having my own place and being OUT of the wasteland that I live in will allow me to get this part of my life back on track.

I have just about the same experience, which is now curious. Do we habe some cog fog or benzo vibe that makes girls run, or is the online crowd just a thought crowd?

 

I wa just telling my roommate that I have no clue what I do wrong. Girls are really into the date, then just end it and ghost me. This is a new thing, so also killing my confidence. If I could go out (even without drinking) feeling normal, I’d love to try in person.

 

Keep your head up.  It’s not you, it’s them.

I have just about the same experience, which is now curious. Do we habe some cog fog or benzo vibe that makes girls run, or is the online crowd just a thought crowd?

 

I wa just telling my roommate that I have no clue what I do wrong. Girls are really into the date, then just end it and ghost me. This is a new thing, so also killing my confidence. If I could go out (even without drinking) feeling normal, I’d love to try in person.

 

Keep your head up.  It’s not you, it’s them.

 

The thought has crossed my mind but  the thing is I did have some limited success a year or two ago and I can't imagine that I am giving off a different vibe now. When I say "success" I don't mean that I found the girl of my dreams but I was at least able to meet up with a few of them. I tried again recently, I probably got at least 20-30 replies and.....absolutely nothing.

 

I know it's still a numbers game but when you can't manage to get a face to face meeting out of that many replies, something is wrong.

I'm a woman in my late twenties and have tried dating a bit on and off throughout this whole process.

 

I was in a relationship when I was at a low dose (but hadn't yet realized it was the source of tolerance withdrawal and quit). I felt so weird a lot of the time and didn't know how to explain it, so I think I was in my own head too much and couldn't focus on building a solid relationship, so I ended it.

 

With dating, it's pretty similar...how I'm feeling and obsessing over when I'll heal is constant, and I think it's too much for me to take on right now with work and just getting through life.

 

I also gained about 25 pounds throughout withdrawal, so it probably doesn't help that I don't feel good about myself and lack confidence in my appearance.

My husband left me because of benzos. Why would I risk this again? My dog makes me happy 😃 enough. Maybe in another life time.

I am sorry to hear that. I will pray for you.

I am sorry to hear that. I will pray for you.

 

Thank you. But I noticed my friends here have been so much more supportive than he ever was. It actually felt good once he was gone. He married that woman had an affair with. She can have him.

My ex wife cheated on me too. I feel your pain, and I know for a fact, we are better off without people like that.

 

How is your pup?

I agree. I'm still in touch with my X but I have my own life.

 

Pup is going well. He's at the brat stage and we are in obedience classes. He WAS doing fine until now he likes the ladies too much. lol. His field work is much better because it is outside and not in a ring.

 

I hope you are doing okay as well. I always thought my hubby would never cheat on me, but then again that's what everyone says.

I read that these things are better with a partner. As a single guy in a major city, I have tried to go on dates, but for the most part, am embarrassed when I start having symptoms, and have trouble paying attention.

 

Has anyone dated or found a significant other during tapering or WD? Did it help?

 

Hi PK, seems I am following you around today.

 

I will cheer you up.

 

After I finished my taper my one major symptom was constant sexual arousal so I started to contact men via the internet .. something I had never done in my life before.

 

So I met a widower, same age as me, lovely man ...

 

Then a few months later became bedridden.

 

Since Sept 2013, he has messaged me every single day, he has not missed one single day ...

 

He is too far away to visit.

 

He is a true gem. 

 

And I appreciate him so very, very much.

 

We are not however compatible as a couple but I am not well enough anyway.

 

And for me it is better that I am living alone, I could not cope with someone here.

 

But I have gained a true friend, there is no doubt about that.

 

:smitten: :smitten: :smitten: :smitten:

I read that these things are better with a partner. As a single guy in a major city, I have tried to go on dates, but for the most part, am embarrassed when I start having symptoms, and have trouble paying attention.

 

Has anyone dated or found a significant other during tapering or WD? Did it help?

 

Hi PK, seems I am following you around today.

 

I will cheer you up.

 

After I finished my taper my one major symptom was constant sexual arousal so I started to contact men via the internet .. something I had never done in my life before.

 

So I met a widower, same age as me, lovely man ...

 

Then a few months later became bedridden.

 

Since Sept 2013, he has messaged me every single day, he has not missed one single day ...

 

He is too far away to visit.

 

He is a true gem. 

 

And I appreciate him so very, very much.

 

We are not however compatible as a couple but I am not well enough anyway.

 

And for me it is better that I am living alone, I could not cope with someone here.

 

But I have gained a true friend, there is no doubt about that.

 

:smitten: :smitten: :smitten: :smitten:

 

Yes, looks like I have a shadow! I think that is interesting. For me personally I kind of go in cycles as well. For example, during a wave, I forget what those feelings are. However, other days, its like being a teenager all over again. As silly as it may sound, I am more interested in the partnership and emotional relationship during this battle.  I am sorry if this is TMI, but I have had some symptoms in the male parts area that are also killing my confidence, so I have sat out (not by choice) the adult situations for about six months.

I agree. I'm still in touch with my X but I have my own life.

 

Pup is going well. He's at the brat stage and we are in obedience classes. He WAS doing fine until now he likes the ladies too much. lol. His field work is much better because it is outside and not in a ring.

 

I hope you are doing okay as well. I always thought my hubby would never cheat on me, but then again that's what everyone says.

 

Thank you for your kind words and I assume the pup is in the pic. Very beautiful four-legged child!

I read that these things are better with a partner. As a single guy in a major city, I have tried to go on dates, but for the most part, am embarrassed when I start having symptoms, and have trouble paying attention.

 

Has anyone dated or found a significant other during tapering or WD? Did it help?

 

Hi PK, seems I am following you around today.

 

I will cheer you up.

 

After I finished my taper my one major symptom was constant sexual arousal so I started to contact men via the internet .. something I had never done in my life before.

 

So I met a widower, same age as me, lovely man ...

 

Then a few months later became bedridden.

 

Since Sept 2013, he has messaged me every single day, he has not missed one single day ...

 

He is too far away to visit.

 

He is a true gem. 

 

And I appreciate him so very, very much.

 

We are not however compatible as a couple but I am not well enough anyway.

 

And for me it is better that I am living alone, I could not cope with someone here.

 

But I have gained a true friend, there is no doubt about that.

 

:smitten: :smitten: :smitten: :smitten:

 

Yes, looks like I have a shadow! I think that is interesting. For me personally I kind of go in cycles as well. For example, during a wave, I forget what those feelings are. However, other days, its like being a teenager all over again. As silly as it may sound, I am more interested in the partnership and emotional relationship during this battle.  I am sorry if this is TMI, but I have had some symptoms in the male parts area that are also killing my confidence, so I have sat out (not by choice) the adult situations for about six months.

 

Partnership and emotional support is what is most needed during this battle.

 

Hopefully the sexual symptoms will resolve in time ...  :thumbsup:

I've decided to steer clear of dating until I become myself again, I'm more concerned about building new friendships and keeping the ones I already have  .

Why would I risk this again? My dog makes me happy 😃 enough. Maybe in another life time.

I love it! 

 

I'm single by choice now, and will be for a while.  Content with my two dogs and a cat for now.  A good relationship takes time to develop and foster, not ready yet, however not excluding the possibility in the future.

I am in a relationship and it is extremely hard to keep it afloat when in withdrawal. It is very hard to meet the needs of someone else when you are doing everything you can to survive. I'm lucky that my partner is sticking by me (so far) but I can't imagine dating during this, my guy is dedicated because we built the love before this but I think someone new would probably run away as fast as they can! 

but I can't imagine dating during this

 

Ditto!

I'm always amazed at anybody even thinking about this. If the horrors of withdrawal can shake the foundations of a solid, 4 decade long marriage, it seems hard to picture it being a good time for a new romance! (We did survive, however!)

Finally, I'm so happy for you!!!! That is a great inspiration. I am really hoping that our 5 year relationship survives this. We have a really amazing therapist but it's so so so SOOOOOO hard. I try to imagine if it were the other way around and I know it would be really hard on both sides.

Yes, it is really really hard I felt so angry at the doctors who essentially set us up for this conflict. I wondered if THEIR marriages could have survived.

And now I'm here to say to all of you that your brain really will get better. You are not yourself right now. Trying to think your way through this with a broken brain is like trying to run a marathon on a broken ankle. Just give yourself a break and let yourself heal, which you will, with time. :)pi