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My Relatively Mild Taper Success Story


[Kr...]

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Peace and best wishes to everyone!

 

My story isn’t as severe as other stories I’ve read.  I almost didn’t type this success story as I felt rather guilty that I had a relatively mild and fast taper compared to other success stories I’ve read.  In the end I decided to take the time to type my story so that people could read my experience and see that relatively mild tapers do happen.  I credit my experience to the long half-life of my benzo (flurazepam/dalmane) and to being an everyday jogger for much of my adult life, but I honestly am not certain as to why my taper experience was a relatively mild one.

 

I took 30 mg of flurazepam nightly for 18 years to help with chronic insomnia which showed up after a wretched life experience 18 years ago.  I’ve mostly moved on from this life altering event yet continued to take flurazepam nightly as I thought it helped me to sleep and I simply didn’t think twice about it.  In August 2017 my pharmacy, and every other pharmacy I contacted, abruptly stopped stocking flurazepam as flurazepam is an “older” medication that’s no longer prescribed.  The doc who originally prescribed flurazepam retired and my new doc wouldn’t give a prescription for online purchases, so I was left with the limited supply of flurazepam that I had on hand.

 

I didn’t know anything about tapering, withdrawal, etc. and assumed that I would simply stop taking flurazepam and continue sailing through life.  Thus I unknowingly cold turkeyed off of my benzo of 18 years without having a clue about what I was doing and what I was about to experience.  About a week after I stopped taking flurazepam I started experiencing flu-like symptoms even though the weather temp. was 32 C/90 F.  Then I experienced intense nausea, tingling/pins and needles in my feet, legs, hands and arms coupled with the feeling of dozens of knife points trying to pierce my stomach.  Soon afterwards I had cold sweats, panic attacks and blacked out, all of which I had never experienced before in my life.  It then occurred to me that what I was experiencing may be withdrawal symptoms from discontinuing my benzo.  I did some research on the internet and discovered that I was right.

 

I was scared to death and had no idea as to how I would get myself out of this situation.  I saw my new doc again and he prescribed xanax on a one time basis and said if xanax didn’t help me get over the withdrawal then I’d have to see a psy doc and probably go to a detox clinic.  Neither this doc nor I knew anything about tapering.  Fortunately I didn’t take the xanax and instead I tossed all 30 tablets in the trash bin after reading about xanax online.  I also decided that this doc and his “advice” would be of no help to me and that I was on my own with this withdrawal.  I then went onto the internet again to see what I could do about my predicament and happened upon Heather Ashton, benzobuddies and the concept of tapering.  THIS DAY SAVED MY LIFE.

 

I bought a mg scale and figured out how long my limited stockpile of flurazepam would last (not long at 30 mg/dose).  Flurazepam comes in a capsule and is a fine powder when the capsule is opened.  This powder weighed 30 mg per capsule which made my dosage decreases easy to calculate as the weight per capsule was equal to the dosage per capsule.  The more I decreased my dosage, the more leftover flurazepam I could add to my limited stockpile to be used later if needed.  I did a direct taper from 30 mg to 5 mg in 4 weeks with the most pronounced sx being morning nausea, which I could tolerate.  Cool, I knew that I could now do this taper without running out of flurazepam. 

 

** I don’t suggest that anyone taper as quickly as I did.  I was forced to taper much more quickly than recommended due to my very limited supply of flurazepam ** 

 

At 5 mg I became overconfident and jumped only to have the awful sxs from my cold turkey experience return within 3 days.  A big part of tapering is listening to what my central nervous system (cns) and brain were telling me and I was obviously being sent a message that it wasn’t yet time to stop my tapering experiment.  So I reinstated my nightly dosage at 5 mg and slowly began tapering from there.  I jumped a few times at doses lower than 5 mg only to experience the sxs again which resulted in my reinstating flurazepam at my most recent dose before jumping and to continue tapering again from there. 

 

My dosage amounts were chosen arbitrarily, basically seeing how much of a decrease I could get away with without suffering any sxs.  About a week before I jumped for the final time I noticed that my morning nausea was gone, a sign that my cns had adapted to no flurazepam.  I continued tapering another week just to be sure.  Then on 5 Dec. 2017 I jumped for the last time with no sxs since!  I’m sleeping at least 5 - 6 hours every night, sometimes broken sleep yet sleep nonetheless.  Some nights I use sleep supplements but many nights I don’t.  What a wonderful change …

 

I stopped working for a week when I started my taper as well as a few days in the early part of my taper before I had the taper under control and knew what I was doing.  I’ve never before had the need to taper anything and therefore had no idea what to expect other than what I read on benzobuddies.

 

What most helped me with my taper was learning from the many excellent sticky posts and current posts on the various benzobuddies.org boards as well as reading the Ashton manual over and over.  I learned so much from the library of information contained in both websites.  Thank you benzobuddies, Heather Ashton and LeslieAsh who was the mod who welcomed me to benzobuddies last September 2017, you have all made a tremendous life saving difference to this buddie. 

 

I sincerely hope that this post will make a positive difference in the lives of those who read it.  Thanks for reading.

 

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So glad you're feeling well again!  Congrats and thanks for posting your story for those who follow.

Challis  :smitten:

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Congratulations! Celebrate that success...mild, moderate or major, it was still hell...you deserve it!  :thumbsup:

 

I can relate to your story; I was "cut loose" by my doctor with a 90 day supply (thank goodness I was no longer taking the full 2mg/day at that point) and was able to execute a 13 month taper with those pills that I credit for helping me endure an evil but not completely unbearable first few months of withdrawal.

 

I'm still suffering from multiple symptoms, but know full well it could be worse...much, much worse. Sometimes I feel guilty knowing many others have it way more intensely than myself. I try to go to other areas of BB and offer support to feel like I'm helping out.

 

Best wishes for continued healing!  :smitten:

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Thank you for sharing this story, I haven't come across such a post as yours yet, so it's really filled me with hope. It's strange how one thing can shift our perspective.

 

Congrats on doing what you did and how you did it  :thumbsup:

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Thanks, I'm glad that my post can give others hope.  I've read a lifetime of posts on BB's with countless posts providing hope when I needed it, I'm glad to do the same!  :thumbsup:

 

I've never experienced anything like benzo withdrawal and I've also tried to give support to others when I can.  Fortunately for me the withdrawal was relatively short-lived and I'm able to help other people by typing my story, just as other posts helped me!  :smitten:

 

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  • 2 weeks later...
Thank you so much for this story. These are the stories I would love to see more of. I really need to believe that there can be less severe withdrawal experiences and I never see those! This gives me tons of hope. Congratulations and yay on your success!
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Thank you!  :thumbsup:

 

I can't help but feel guilty that my experience was a relatively mild one, especially after reading what other people are experiencing or have experienced.  I'm glad to know that my post has given people hope!  :smitten:

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  • 10 months later...
Congratulations, I am glad to see an account of a relatively easy taper here as I was beginning to think it was not possible.  I have had a relatively easy taper and walk off (so far) and am glad to see other accounts of the same.  I am not sleeping as much as I would like to but I can't complain.  I exercise regularly myself and think that makes a key difference in how your body responds to tapering and withdrawal.  I hope everything continues as well as it has gone to this point for you.
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Thanks for the warm comments.  It's a wonderful feeling to know that passing on my experience via my success story continues to help others, kinda like a gift that keeps on giving!  :thumbsup:

 

I'm fortunate to have a loving and understanding family who were just as baffled as I was when I came down with flu-like symptoms during a heatwave.  Once I figured out that I was experiencing withdrawal from stopping my benzo and had learned about tapering via this website, they were very supportive and even more loving.  The support from my family as well as the existence of benzobuddies and the knowledge available on this website carried me through during my taper.  I'm now 14 months off and life is great!

 

I know that other people are having a tough time.  After reading a lifetime of posts on benzobuddies my conclusion is that time heals all.  Time healed me quickly, others need more time to heal.  But time does heal all.  :smitten:

 

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  • 1 year later...

Congratulations!  And, thanks for sharing your story... :smitten:

it is great to read your story I'm

down to 2 mg and sitting there to give myself a chance and every success story is a tonic i won't go on as I'm having a foggy day but I'm also reading the success stories and they are all important so once again  a big thank you

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You're most welcome!  I'm sincerely humbled and pleased that my success story continues to be of help to others!  :smitten:
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