Jump to content

My home is one big mess


[tr...]

Recommended Posts

I'm really ashamed, but that's the truth. I don`t  usually like this, but I can`t  clean. I live alone.

 

Is it just me who has this, how are you? Do you have any tips?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 246
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • [Es...]

    68

  • [tr...]

    51

  • [Ma...]

    34

  • [Gr...]

    21

Top Posters In This Topic

Hey translator-

 

I too had this the first 6 months or so when I was in acute phase. I am normally a very tidy person. I have always like things organized & put in place. I was in such bad condition that I was not physically able to do ANYTHING. I literally sat in my chair with laptop or lay in bed for 6 months. It actually may have been longer(I would have to go read my journal but I still am not able to go back & look though that journal PTSD issues :( ) Anyhow,  I do remember at the time telling myself "it is ok, you can deal with this later".  So I lived in squalor for all that time because I truly had NO one to help me. So just tell yourself that "it is ok & that you will deal with it later when you are better able to cope". That is all you need to do... :thumbsup:  :smitten:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Same as you guys, it was on of the first things to go south. I think it began due to the mental anxiety of the unknown road ahead, I would find myself needing to be distracted positively and not doing things like house work. Then I could not lift a finger without my heart racing and suffering symptoms as I cleaned.

 

Ironically, I feel soooo much better if the place is clean though  ::)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I was keeping up until the valium sedated me so badly.  Now, unfortunately it has gotten away from me.  My husband does quite a bit but he works all week as well.  oh well, it will be here when I feel better again.  We'll tackle it then.  I am predicting a lot of stuff that has needed to be thrown away will get thrown away then :)
Link to comment
Share on other sites

The worst part is when my friends come with my food, they have to wait in the doorway, I don`t want to let anyone in. It feels so bad!  But maybe I can clean tomorrow? No....
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have been messy for a while now, and I really think benzo brain is to blame.  I mean, even back when I was still taking them, as prescribed, I had a hard time managing and keeping things clean.  I stopped caring what others think about my mess a while ago.  I'll let people in.  You would be surprised how many people have times where their places or someone they know is so messy.  My old landlady used to come once a month and clean my house with me.  That was always so much easier to have someone else to clean with.

 

I had a cleaning person for a little while, but I think I was too friendly with her, because I felt like she was taking advantage of me. She would mop all the floors and then dump the buckets in the bathttub and leave a giant muddy mess in my bathtub and all my floors would be sopping wet.  Then when I asked her to dry the floors she would come up with weird excuses.  In fact, she had a ton of excuses.  One time I asked her to clean the oven and she told me a whole sob story about how she was chemically burned from oven cleaner.  It was so annoying cause she could have cleaned the oven with just regular soap and water, instead of just taking up all that time to tell me the story. 

 

Oh I am very talkative today. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Whenever I go into rough patch, my place is an absolute mess. I'm embarrassed about it, but my OCD thoughts about recovery are so overwhelming that I lose sight of connecting with the normal part of myself. Once I get over the hurdle, then I start cleaning again. But then I get into another rough patch. This has been going on for years, and I see no way of it ending until I start feeling really well.

 

You're not alone, believe me!!

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My entire life is in disarray because of this. And it isn't that I lack the physical ability to do something about it, it is because my organizational skills are so bad that if I move things around I have a very hard time finding them again. The lack of motivation to do anything productive is the icing on the cake. Those two things make it very difficult for me to keep everything clean and organized.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm really ashamed, but that's the truth. I don`t  usually like this, but I can`t  clean. I live alone.

 

Is it just me who has this, how are you? Do you have any tips?

 

So what!?  Do the best you can, and go easy on yourself.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My entire life is in disarray because of this. And it isn't that I lack the physical ability to do something about it, it is because my organizational skills are so bad that if I move things around I have a very hard time finding them again. The lack of motivation to do anything productive is the icing on the cake. Those two things make it very difficult for me to keep everything clean and organized.

 

This is so true for me as well.  Even when I get some energy and get motivated, my brain just doesn't remember how things work.  I have things falling out of cabinets and the fridge on a regular basis.  The other day I spent a half hour looking for the brown sugar, and it was in the fridge...next to the meat.  Like, why would I do that?  That categorization doesn't even make sense, even if I suddenly decided to keep sugar in the fridge.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ginger, I can`t  think "so what", it just doesn`t work. Feeling worried that someone has to come in, and I certainly don`t  want to. In addition I don`t find anything, all the papers are high. So I try to pick a little every day, but it will be alike after a little while. It's like trying to clean when you have flu and high fever, and just want to go back to the couch. It's really frustrating.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ginger, I can`t  think "so what", it just doesn`t work. Feeling worried that someone has to come in, and I certainly don`t  want to. In addition I don`t find anything, all the papers are high. So I try to pick a little every day, but it will be alike after a little while. It's like trying to clean when you have flu and high fever, and just want to go back to the couch. It's really frustrating.

 

Sorry, I didn't mean to frustrate you, I go through the same thing.  On better days, I just put my head down and plow through it, but it's still painful.  On not so good days, I just say 'so what' and it works for me, it has to, because I can't do it.  I completely understand you worry about your place not being presentable when someone comes in.  I don't know the logistics of your home, but maybe you could designate some separate area just for the company and upkeep only that, and then keep up with the rest the best you can, your symptoms permitting.  Also, some people in withdrawal hire help to keep the house, I don't know if you can afford it (I can't), but if so, it's something to consider.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ginger, I didn`t  get frustrated. I know that everyone here is very friendly, and understand each other. Some days I try to accept, and other I'm crazy about everything.

 

My smileys don`t work, but there should be a lot of happy and laughing guys.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Ginger, I didn`t  get frustrated. I know that everyone here is very friendly, and understand each other. Some days I try to accept, and other I'm crazy about everything.

 

My smileys don`t work, but there should be a lot of happy and laughing guys.

 

It's all good, don't worry, we're all in the same boat.  This is off subject, but ABBA is my favorite group, and sometimes on crazy days I put their music on, when Agnetha and Anni-Frid push their voices to the limit, it helps me to get through a tough day. ;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Translator 101' U have nothing to be ashamed of.  U r fighting a hard hard battle.  I read somewhere just write "welcome " in the dust.  Do it.....and try to remember u r what is important  :smitten:
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 month later...

How are you, clean and nice? :)

Yesterday I felt a little better, could clean the sink and the stove. But now it seems like when I started cleaning, now I'm stuck. It's so hard to clean a little, the simplest creates a wave. Sorry if I complain.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

How are you, clean and nice? :)

Yesterday I felt a little better, could clean the sink and the stove. But now it seems like when I started cleaning, now I'm stuck. It's so hard to clean a little, the simplest creates a wave. Sorry if I complain.

 

My house is cluttered and dusty right now.  I try to work on one room at a time.  When I say work that maybe overstatement  :). I put things up so u can at least find the room......worry about you, house can wait....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's not really a big problem, if I compare with everything else. But I get stressed, especially if someone needs to come in. When they bring the food, they have to stay in the doorway, but no longer! :) It doesn`t usually look like this, so I don`t like it. But it will be a day, when I get everything done. Patience! :)
Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's not really a big problem, if I compare with everything else. But I get stressed, especially if someone needs to come in. When they bring the food, they have to stay in the doorway, but no longer! :) It doesn`t usually look like this, so I don`t like it. But it will be a day, when I get everything done. Patience! :)

 

That's the way to think!!  I like it ;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm obsessed with cleaning and love making my place nice and tidy,

 

Savinghope, are you waiting for an invitation to Translator’s place? ;D

 

Was just joking.

 

Translator, I love this thread and I love Sweden.

 

Okay, so I used to be a very tidy and organized person until Spring 2014. When I went back on BZD after 11 yrs off. Everything in my appt. had its place. I used computerized lists of all my belongings. Tidying and cleaning my appt. were my important hobbies. I loved reading, watching movies, playing with my Kitty etc. But only could do it in a tidy appt. Tidying wasn’t tiresome or frustrating. It was fun.

 

In 2015, my BZD-induced washing OCD started to develop, so I was less and less able to make my appt. clean and tidy. I can afford a cleaner. But would never let a stranger clean my appt.

 

After a mandatory 8-days hospital stay in Feb. 2016, I started having a severe PTSD. My washing OCD got so terrible, I was mostly concerned about handwashing. Which left little time for tidying and cleaning my appt. Didn’t know at the time the washing OCD was a result of Valium-induced anxiety.

 

The conditions in the psych ward were appalling, so I got out with that washing OCD intensified like 100%. But I didn’t need to take Ambien anymore. They CTed it. I still had Valium to tackle.

 

Which brings us to April 2018. No more Valium. Ambien is gone since 2016. But my place still doesn’t look as it should. My biggest dream is to make it as tidy, clean and organized as it was before I went back on BZD in May 2014.

 

I recommend this book as a must-read for everyone who wants to have a tidy, clean home. A home of one’s dreams. A wish to have such a home for me and my Kitty was one of the most important driving forces behind my whole Valium taper.

 

I think I will gladly participate in the exchange about our small victories/setbacks on the road to making our place the home of our dreams. The journey for me is very long still. Requires a lot of motivation and persistence. But there is hope. When there is hope and some free time. All we really need is a plan and action.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

in acute my apartment was like a boot camp course to get in and out......lurch out of bed, hop over the pizza box, around the clothes volcano, dont look at the kitchen, eyes down, fall over the chair and onto the couch. phew made it.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

in acute my apartment was like a boot camp course to get in and out......lurch out of bed, hop over the pizza box, around the clothes volcano, dont look at the kitchen, eyes down, fall over the chair and onto the couch. phew made it.

 

I can see that in my mind :laugh: :laugh:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×
×
  • Create New...