Cant Believe I am here.

So 10 years (maybe more) of taking benzo's to treat insomnia, anxiety and agoraphobia mostly prescribed by doctors. I took my last benzo on 7th February 2018.

 

It was only until recently that it occurred to me that  I might be dependent on them. I've since realized that the problems I was treating with benzos were caused by the periods of not taking them. My doctor told me not to worry as I was taking low doses and my symptoms required it.  In the last 2 months I had been taking .5 mg Klonipin every 3 days. Ironically, it was during this casual taper that I realized the extent of the problem and my dependency.

 

The insomnia was the first thing to hit me after the jump. 3 days and nights of no sleep at all followed by a few hours made capable by sheer exhaustion. Then repeat.  This was how the first 10 days went, until with the help of anti-histamines  I did start to get a few hours regularly.

 

Just as I started to get used to a few hours sleep then the panic attacks, mania and prolonged adrenaline rushes came. After suffering from sleep deprivation and being completely weak this nearly broke me to be honest.  Then came the depression and the fear.

 

I know this doesn't work for everyone but Atarax has helped me a great deal. I only take when I really need it and just having it around helps prevents my nervous system from freaking out. I used to meditate but now it just brings on panic attacks. Massage brings the adrenaline rushes. Light exercise and swimming helps. I am also drinking camomile tea which does bring comfort and replaces caffeine and alcohol which unfortunately send me spiraling into the abyss.

 

This forum also had a bad effect on me and would send me into floods of panic and mania. Its a testament to my healing that I can write this now. Good luck everyone. Everyday we get better especially when we are feeling worse.

 

Hello, cantbelieveitsme - welcome to BenzoBuddies, and congratulations on being benzo-free!

 

What great progress you’ve made already! As bad as things feel right now, you really seem to be progressing quickly, at least as far as ‘benzo-time’ is concerned. As horrible as the symptom are now, they’ll continue to ease up over time, and everything you’ve described is part of a very familiar pattern (one I remember all too well). You’ve come to the right place to finish your recovery. 

 

I'm so glad you decided to join the forum - you'll find plenty of information and support here. Our members have gone through all aspects of benzodiazepine use and withdrawal, so you'll be able to connect with others who understand what you're going through.

 

The following board may be a good place to begin posting your questions:

 

  Post-withdrawal Recovery Support

 

Please take a moment to Create a Signature. This will allow members to see where you are in the process, so that they can better support you.

 

Looking forward to seeing you on the forum!

Leslie 

 

 

The Ashton Manual is an authoritative resource on what to expect during withdrawal and recovery. It provides information that can be very reassuring during any stage of this process, including a list of common symptoms with helpful explanations.

Many thanks,

 

Was in a nice window to write that. Far from recovered, but I am better than first 10 days. I'm def in the 2nd stage. Friday afternoons seem hard I don't know why. That TGIF feeling toxic to us..?

 

One correction I was on 0.25mg every 3 days for the end of my taper. I went off my anti-depression meds too, but that might have been a mistake.  Seeing a new doctor tomorrow.

 

The battle has just begun I feel...

Welcome. Good luck with your new Dr. I hope he can taper you better. 3 days and nights without sleep is horrible, but there are a lot of people here who understand.