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[Iv...]

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It’s been 3 years and 4 months and I’m getting really depressed. I’ve stopped going anywhere I haven’t been out since October. I can’t stand to drive or even ride in a automobile. I’ve had  extreme nausea’s the whole time. I suffer from seasonal associated depression or SAD and can’t take the weather I think I’ll be better when spring arrives. So if you can help at all I would appreciate it.

Ivy

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Hi Ivy

 

I’m sorry you feel this way. From what you shared and what you are asking for, I’d recommend getting out into your community, if you can handle it. If there are any groups that you share interests with locally, that you can join in the community, I think that might help you get going again. Social interaction will be good, you can get it on the internet but person to person is good also

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I'm sorry to hear that Ivy .but Almostdone is right . You need to get out and look at what the community has to offer. You haven't mentioned 'why' you are feeling depressed ? Serious question .. is it really the lack of Ativan in your life now and a protracted withdrawal ? Or is it that the original reasons you ever took Ativan are re surfacing. ? This is the dilemma a lot of us suffer when coming off the drug..

even try something small  for example something the library puts on . Mine does talks and stuff. Pick something small .. something manageable. Arrange a ride .. arrange a getaway.. even if you stay only thirty minutes.. little steps ..

I do understand I have no idea of your situation , so am not being condescending. Just trying to help.

At the end of the day Ivy it's up to us .. no one is going to come and 'rescue' us .. life is probably not going to be the same again ...  so we have to build a new life..

I absolutely know . I am trying to do it myself..

take care Ivy . BB x

 

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The reason I had to take the Xanax was I started having panic attacks out of the blue. Then depression followed that I believe they go hand in hand or at least they did for me. I know that I’m not healed all the way yet but I guess I’m looking for others who have gone through this and have had the same problem. Because that will let me know that eventually I’ll be okay if that makes any sense. Thank you both for the replies.
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I agree with Bertie. And what you are going through is normal, you will heal over time just like everyone else. But you must take steps to help yourself, also. I know I would be depressed if I hadn’t left my apartment since October. There were times when I couldn’t leave but I got out little by little and got stronger each time, even in the face of depression and other awful panicky, muscle tension , heart racing symptoms. I’m starting to find joy again in getting out of the house. Get out there and seek joy. Good luck
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I will try soon it’s been hard to get out my husband works a lot. I do walk everyday usually twice when it’s not raining but it’s doing that a lot this time of the year. I’m grateful for the replies. 
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I'm a bit confused , or maybe I have misunderstood. Am I understanding that you haven't been out since October and yet you said you walk every day .. do you mean out socially ? This whole withdrawal thing and beyond can be such an isolating and lonely experience.... I believe it does take a long time . And actually I wonder if we ever heal . If we can ever look about and say , right now I'm done . I'm healed .. I don't think life works like that really .

Try to get out a little more step by step. Concentrate more on today rather than 'when' you will be healed, because life is passing you by in the meantime ..

panic attacks are the worst. I suffer from them too .. not as badly as in withdrawal but they are not nice .. hoping others will be able to give you more reassurance . Take care BB

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Hey Ivy,

 

Are you taking anything at all? I see in your signature it shows ADs on and off. Alcohol is a huge no-no for me during withdrawals. I've been back down to day 1 after drinking...

 

Try reading some of the success stories. Our timelines are different and some of us take a bit longer to get to 100% than others. I know that there are some success stories after a very long withdrawal, but success stories nonetheless!

 

Take care of yourself.

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Ivy,

 

I completely understand what you’re talking about.  I walk my dog twice a day, but I’m still alone. I get it.  Keep in mind this.  What you are going through is physiological and it will correct itself.  If you don’t feel like being in public or around other people it’s because you are not completely healed yet.  Don’t feel like you have to push yourself outside your comfort zone.  Your boundaries will expand as more healing takes place.

 

I am probably 90% healed at this point.  I am not signing up for classes or joining clubs.  It’s not that I can’t, I just don’t feel like it.  We are all different.  I’m not a club joiner or a social butterfly, although some people think I am the latter.  “All behavior is overcompensation for true feelings.”—Adler

 

Do what feels right and comfortable for YOU.  If being alone makes you depressed, keep taking your walks, but maybe ask a friend to join you.  Go to a movie in the theater if you like that.  You are around other people watching the movie, but you don’t have to interact with them.  See?  Baby steps.  Sometimes it’s very hard to tease out what’s depression versus being depressed from all the chemical changes taking place in recovery.  Your brain is sorting out a lot of “stuff.”  Let it do its thing and then see where you’re at.  Don’t feel like you have to push yourself to the point of being uncomfortable.  Get a bite to eat with your husband.  Take walks with him.  Go to a movie with him.  He’s your safe place right now, so just do as many things outside the house as you can with him.  Your horizons will expand with or without your help.

 

You are going to be fine.  You were on several drugs for 27 years.  Recovery does not happen overnight.  I took a low dose of Ativan sporadically for only 2.5 months.  It’s taken me 39 months to get where I am.  Cut yourself some slack.  Do what is comfortable.  In fact, make that your new life’s mantra.  Do what makes you happy.

 

Sofa

 

 

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I also suffer from SAD.  I can barely stand the current cold, rainy weather.  Lately I have been soaking in a hot tub every single day.  Having bright, full spectrum lights in the room helps my mood.  Exercise, even just stretching, makes me feel better.  Stay busy and keep your head up!  You are not alone.
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It seems that you are getting a lot of good advice. I'm going to add to this. You had said that starting in October you have been having a difficult time getting out, driving or riding in a car. You also said that the reason that you began using Xanax was that you were having panic attack issues. Something I have learned while going through this healing process is that most physical and emotional issues are more related to a deficiency of some nutrient.

 

I'm not diagnosing you! If you haven't already done so, perhaps you could have your vitamin d level checked. If it happens to be low you may try supplementing with D3. People during the Fall and Winter months experience depression due to lack of Sun light. D is a hormone that we produce naturally through exposure to the Sun. Supplementing may help.

 

I'm about 3.5 years out like you. I was also on a Xanax generic (Alprazolam). I wasn't on it very long but as you can see it has taken me a long time healing from the medicine. I am still healing, I still have some issues that crop up here and there. The good news is that the issue I had that got me put on Xanax in the first place are gone. I have been supplementing with D and magnesium for about 2 years now. I do feel the difference despite the occasional symptom flair up.       

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Bozobertie, I meant away from my home I walk around on 7 acres. I live pretty far out in the country which I use to like but for going through this it’s to far from town. Sorry I should have included more details.
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This is for:spicedcrackers, no alcohol for me either and for 2 months last year and 2 this year my family doctor gave me 5mg Buspirone for depression.
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This is for:sofakingdone, I walk with my dog too. I don’t know what I would do without her. My husband works sometimes 6 or 7 days a week this time of the year. So it’s hard for me to get anywhere.
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For:Ajusta, I’m on my second one it helps but I’m an outdoorsy person and being stuck in. Sorry for your illness and thanks for your reply.
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To: YesterdayTomorrow, I think you and I are a lot a like I try to exercise everyday and use light therapy. I finally made an appointment with a counselor this morning hopefully they will help. I know sunshine and warmer weather will.
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Cheers for clarifying Ivy .. please don't be too hard on yourself. I think you are doing well. At least you are getting out and walking . Funny isn't it. When ever anything involves other people or a social occasion it becomes hard. That's how it is for me anyway . The weather can really effect life so much . I'm actually a big fan of winter .. the cold and the cozy .. summer and heat don't work for me as my thermostat goes crazy ! All the very best to you BB x
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