Doctor Approved?

Before the taper started, I took 1-2 mg Ativan as needed for approx 2 months. Near the end it was 1 mg sporadically, every other day or so. Accidentally CT'd for around 4 days of hell. Reinstated and updosed for one day before self tapering to .5 mg twice a day. I ran the following plan by my doctors and they seemed to think it was ok. I’m in the first 25% cut now and things seem ok (aside from some time in a psych ward thanks to a nasty AD reaction). Here’s how the plan looks:

2/14-2/21: .25/.5 Total .75

2/21-2/28: .25/.25 Total .5

2/28-3/7: .125/.25 Total .375

3/7-3/14: .125/.125 Total .25

3/14-3/21: .125 Total .125

3/22: Jump

What do you guys think? Given my relative short term use and lack of debilitating symptoms so far I think I can make it. However, there is a niggling worry in the back of my mind that it’s a bit too fast. Is it safe, or am I risking PWS? Would really love the input of this forum.

Maybe a bit too fast. May be wise to try .625 for a while before going from .75 to .5. Going from .75 to .5 might be too abrupt. Just my 2 cents.

Thanks for your input! I’ll bring this up to the doctor. I’m oddly conflicted. On the one hand, I want to be off this horrible drug as soon as possible. But on the other hand, I don’t want to shock my body and put myself through hell. At the end of the day, I’ll go with what my doctor says, but it’s good to get outside input. Only problem I can see with .625 is that it’s more annoying pill splitting. Almost forgot! I’m also worried about becoming more dependent by prolonging the process.

Makes perfect sense. I may be erring on the more conservative side due to my own horrific experience with Lorazepam, but then the doctor I had wanted to convert me to valium much more quickly than my body could handle, and I was getting electric shocks/jolts in the body and agoraphobia and muscle loss and a ton of horrible symptoms.

 

If you are not getting any of the heavier symptoms in your taper (tremor, electric jolts, splitting headaches, agoraphobia, heavy intrusive memories, flashbacks, racing heart, very high blood pressure spikes, horrible GI distress), then I certainly understand why you want to do this quickly. And if you had not been on benzodiazepines in the past for and were not a daily drinker and didn't have much of tolerance before taking ativan, that would be one more reason not to prolong this.

 

I recall you mentioning the psych ward, so that was a concern of mine. Basically, if your care is very connected and you doctor is good and should it happen that you need to go to psych ward again, it will be good that you are working with people who know you so that you do not end up getting your dose bumped up, either. That's why tapering at a rate where you are not needing mental health emergency assistance is key.

 

Basically, it's about finding a happy medium between not deepening the dependence and prolonging the agony, but also not going so fast that your body/brain won't adjust. Anyway, you will know through the process if you need to slow down or not. It will be obvious. Nobody slows their taper down because they want to. Most people slow down if symptoms become unbearable.

The psych ward was more for problems involving my AD. So far, aside from  couple rough days I’ve been handling the process well. I don’t drink, only accidentally went CT for a week, and have relatively minor symptoms. I mean, they’re there and they’re horribly unpleasant. Random anxiety spikes, anger, fear. It’s so unpredictable and scary. Compared to what I’ve seen on here though, I feel like I got off pretty easy. I wrote down a whole spiel for the doctor I’m seeing today. He’s gonna get a real earful.

Ok, good. Doesn't sound bad at all. I don't drink either, but was on ativan longer, and had a history of sporadic use over the years before the daily use, so that's what screwed me over. I didn't know that all that counted.

 

Good luck with the doctor appointment. As hard as it is, it may be better not to get too angry at the doctor because you'll need him/her to help you get off the medications. Take care

The psych ward was more for problems involving my AD. So far, aside from  couple rough days I’ve been handling the process well. I don’t drink, only accidentally went CT for a week, and have relatively minor symptoms. I mean, they’re there and they’re horribly unpleasant. Random anxiety spikes, anger, fear. It’s so unpredictable and scary. Compared to what I’ve seen on here though, I feel like I got off pretty easy. I wrote down a whole spiel for the doctor I’m seeing today. He’s gonna get a real earful.

 

Don't be surprised if the 'earful' you give him just funnels out the other ear.

I understand that outlook, but I’m choosing to have faith this one more time. This isn’t just some doctor. He exists within a PHP program so I figure he’s duty bound to at least try to listen. Even if what I say doesn’t make a difference, as long as I can get a tapering schedule out of it I’ll be satisfied. End of the day, that’s all I want. Someone to listen and help would be nice but I just want a way out of this maze full of dead ends.

Update! Meeting was rather rushed so we pushed the big discussion until tomorrow’s. A bit disappointed I didn’t get a straight answer, but knowing that I’ll be seeing him tomorrow helps ease my anxiety. With the other doctor it’d be a brief visit and then a week or more without checking in, hearing nothing. All I want is to get off Ativan so I can have a realistic idea of what my symptoms are after this whirlwind tour through crap. Then, maybe I can get on a drug that isn’t habit forming and will make an actual difference to my brain, not just force my body to relax.

Update to the update! Meeting did not go as well as I wanted. He seems like a fairly nice guy, but this meeting seemed like he wanted to get my history of mental illness, not set up a schedule going forward. I understand and respect this approach, but the whole time he seemed judgmental and skeptical of what I'd been through. I may have misread it but I got a real bad vibe. I'll ask him about it when I meet him next time but I'm not so optimistic he'll do any better than the last one. He suggested that, if withdrawal got bad for me I could just "take more Ativan." Like, that's the exact opposite of what I want to do.

Sorry to hear about the disappointing meeting. The good thing is that you know where your doctor is at. I think that a lot of doctors are aware of some problems that Ativan and other benzodiazepines can do, but they will understimate the length and severity of the withdrawal, and brush it off as "anxiety" or "mental illness". It's maddening as hell, but it's important to keep it perspective and remember that most doctors don't take the psych drugs they prescribe (there are exceptions), and he is going to look at it as your subjective experiences, as he doesn't have a way of being in your body and feeling what you feel. Totally unfair (I know), but it makes sense why they look at it that way. I think that most doctors believe that benzodiazepines are safer than they really are, and they are not safe unless taken for very rare emergencies, and even then, it can become problematic down the road. You just don't know how it will turn out.

 

Yes. Saying someone to take an extra ativan is pretty common. The rationale being that it's better to take an extra one than go to ER, etc. etc.

 

There's lots of cognitive dissonance at play. The doctor doesn't want to feel he or she is prescribing something harmful. Yes, it's pretty dehumanizing, but still better than having a benzophobic doctor telling you "Hey, this is poison. I am taking you off of ths in 4 days!".

 

Best of luck with everything.