How can you all tolerate the depression?

My life was and is and will continue to be terrible after I am off ativan. I have Borderline personality and untreatable depression (Please don't make suggestions. Tried everything). However, the depression for about 3 weeks after each cut is unbelievable. I'm not sure how I can tolerate this for another 2 years. 16 months at least going 5% each cut. Then probably another year before I am back to my normal miserable self. During this time, I can't work. I can't eat. I can't do anything. And after I'm done, back to a life that was terrible in the first place. At least some of you get to look forward to going back to a decent life once you are drug free.

Understood. I'm Borderline Per. Disorder also. Depressed? Quite so - since day one and treatment resistant. ADD, PTSD, OCD, social anxiety etc. (besides Benzo w/drawals). Tolerate? Nope, just a day/day survivor - nothing special. In 2015, I lost my two cats in 2015, I could not recover and OD'd in 2016. Had lost entire family by 2012 - brother to suicide. Sort of wish I could had foregone this go-around but it is what it is. Now it's 18 mo. off Klonopin and has been a freaking nightmare. So I give/receive support on here, meditate and avoid stress if at all possible. I do hope to try Psilocybin for depression, other MH issues - have heard favorable results for cats like me. Used to take that stuff many yrs. ago but at a lower dosage than what is used in trial studies. Might be worth looking into if you haven't already. Take care . . .

So so sorry and understand. 

I also want to give you my sincere compassion. No one should have to go through this.

 

I wish you joy in whatever path you take

 

Swammi01

Drug-free life comes with hefty price for many of us, one of the most notable being depression.  I feel for you, I hope you will be able to work this out for yourself.  I will not make any suggestions, but know that the longer you will be benzo-free, the better you will feel.  Take care.