Anyone else in a detox facility/ hospital right now ?

Hi fellow Buddies,

 

I am in a clinic for addictions for almost three weeks already and it is getting on my nerves. I am the only one here withdrawing from benzo and feel a bit lonely.

 

There is also not much to do for distraction

 

I would be happy for any suggestions for things to do/ read / watch to distract myself. What has helped you during in-patient stay or in general?

 

Wishing everyone a nice weekend

I wish I had luxury of health insurance so I could be there with you :-) doing this outpatients of my own volition sucks so answer your question I play around with stupid apps on my phone it's distracting it doesn't require the concentration of reading and as far as television goes I would recommend cartoons nothing with the long or serious plot

Try journaling, talking to staff, drinking water and herbal tea, playing games if you can find someone maybe to play cards with or scrabble, walk around best you can, rest if you can...the benefit is someone else is doing things like preparing meals and being in charge so you don't have to deal with those things right now.  If you can watch TV, watch anything that will distract you.

 

Good luck.  How long are you there for?

 

Carol

Thank you Skyisred and Carol for your answers. Today I watched a great - and long - movie The Big Blue with Jean Reno. It was a good distraction 

 

In the pauses surfed internet, did yoga and talked with some other patients. So today was not so bad.

 

I am thankful the insurance covers the treatment. I could not imagine going on lexapro+withdrawing from ativan rapidly at home.

I guess I should also be glad the stay is quite long- 6 weeks in total - and I am going to be here for 2 weeks after getting off ativan completely (the plan is a jump from 0.25mg on Monday). So I hope I would be able to regain my balance before going home.

I was inpatient for a week. No other benzo sufferers. How you find time to be bored I don't know. It was all meetings meals, dysphoria, tests and other stuff.

 

My story is that I had an ipod and I only listened to a jazz pianist named Joe Bonner, who I have a spiritual connection with, shall we say.  He was soothing for me and I became known as the guy who was back on his bed listening to music. I never listened to one other artist while I was there, and it was a 60G Ipod full of music.

 

Last year I did a google search for Joe Bonner and I found out he had died the week I was in the hospital.

I was in a detox for 6 days..

State funded craphole.. I cold turkeyed then was having some problems so went to the ER.. you can see in my signature.. it was not pleasant for me.

Hope you are doing well and that you have a pleasant experience there.

 

It's great you have wifi there in the clinic you're in! When I was inpatient a couple of years ago, I didn't even have access to my phone except under controlled circumstances. I listened to a lot of music on an ipod, exercised whenever I could, and spent a lot of time drawing and coloring. I hope things go well for you there! Take good care, Ruzenka!

Thank you Charnelsan and Onescareddude.

 

There is no WiFi, I use mobile internet. But we all can keep our phones and use them anytime.

The first 2 weeks here I was too sick to get bored. Now I feel mentally better and need to occupy my mind. There are no therapies during weekends. My project for today: drawing.

 

Drad dog - I have listened Joe Bonner yesterday, after reading your post. It has an opposite effect on me - I get yet more jittery from all these tones. We have all different tastes  my choice now is classical music, Amy Winehouse, Leonard Cohen and all kinds of movie soundtracks.

 

Wishing you a nice Sunday

 

 

 

The detox/ rehab I've been to I was unable to use my cell for 30 days. Consider yourself lucky. Chess gets the mind going that's what it did in rehab.

Thank you Charnelsan and Onescareddude.

 

There is no WiFi, I use mobile internet. But we all can keep our phones and use them anytime.

The first 2 weeks here I was too sick to get bored. Now I feel mentally better and need to occupy my mind. There are no therapies during weekends. My project for today: drawing.

 

Drad dog - I have listened Joe Bonner yesterday, after reading your post. It has an opposite effect on me - I get yet more jittery from all these tones. We have all different tastes  my choice now is classical music, Amy Winehouse, Leonard Cohen and all kinds of movie soundtracks.

 

Wishing you a nice Sunday

 

I'm glad you listened.

 

I don't know how they let you have phones on a locked detox ward. Maybe it's not locked?  Are you able to leave at will?

It is not a locked ward - I can go anywhere any day of the week, when i don't have a therapy. Only have to write on the board times of leave and return and inform the nurse.

 

I am only taking walks in the park around the clinic - not yet fit enough to visit home.

 

When my roommate wanted to kill herself she was transferred to a locked ward for a week, now she is back. Often she goes out to the city center in the evenings, only has to be back before 10 p.m. I wonder what she tells the guys in the bar  - "sorry, have to get back to psych.ward"

 

(No offense to anyone 

It is not a locked ward - I can go anywhere any day of the week, when i don't have a therapy. Only have to write on the board times of leave and return and inform the nurse.

 

I am only taking walks in the park around the clinic - not yet fit enough to visit home.

 

When my roommate wanted to kill herself she was transferred to a locked ward for a week, now she is back. Often she goes out to the city center in the evenings, only has to be back before 10 p.m. I wonder what she tells the guys in the bar  - "sorry, have to get back to psych.ward"

 

(No offense to anyone 

 

If you were the only benzo patient and there were no locked doors, then I wonder how they keep the heroin addicts from calling their hookups or any other mishaps.

Hi Ruzenka, noticed your topic and want say hello! How are you doing in there now after weekend?  You might like Placido Domingo as well based on what you wrote. Parla Piu Piano is my favorite but little bit sad. T.

Hi Ruzenka,

 

Very good idea to go to that detox facility for 6 weeks. I admire your courage and determination to get your life back. Six weeks is quite a good time for the Ativan taper and starting Lexapro. Are you alone in the room?

 

It was always difficult for me to share the room with other ppl. But when I had my own room and bathroom, the treatment was horrible. What are they giving you to assist Ativan WD? Lexapro is a calming SSRI. Used to be on it several yrs while off BDZ. Are they planning to switch you to Lexapro only? In what dose? Keeping my fingers crossed for you

 

All the best,

Estée

Hi Thomas - I will look for Placido Domingo on Youtube, thank you for the idea!

 

Estée - thank you for your support. Inpatient was really the only option for me, because I became non-functional during my taper and unable to care for the kids. It was also one of the reasons they found a place for me so quickly - and I am thankful for that.

 

I am with another girl in the room, but she is mostly away during the day, so it feels almost like a single room.

 

When I came they have put me on 10 mg lexapro and proposed a switch to quetiapine (seroquel) as an anti-anxiety medication instead of the ativan. I took it only once, 25 mg, when i had crisis (a fit of panic and crying) the second day here in the clinic. It was so sedating that it scared me even more. I was unable to stand up - and at the same time ad anxious as before ( or even more).

 

So now I take only the lexapro - after a rough start it now helps me to keep  the anxiety bearable. They want me on 20 mg, but I am afraid of updosing at the moment, because of the initial side effects.

 

Take care Estée! 

 

 

Just noticed you had CT Valium 11 days ago! How are you feeling?

Much better. Less anxious, my OCD symptoms are like 50% gone. I had terrible washing OCD while on Valium. It also made me non-functional. I’m in a lot of pain, cause I have cervical degenerative disease. But this is muscle stiffness. May fade away as my system adapts to the lack of Valium.

 

Sleep is worse. But not much. I take lots of supplements for sleep and also non-addictive painkillers for the pain when necessary. I would stay on that 10 mg Lexapro dose for some time. Ask them if they could increase your dose just by 5 mg for a start.

 

How long have you been on 10 mg Lexapro? Have they tapered your Ativan to 0 already? I used to be on Lexapro for about 3 yrs in my life. It’s both calming and activating.

 

Seroquel is a nasty AP. Used to take 1/4 of a 25 mg tablet (6,25 mg) for 12 yrs. For insomnia. I found out the smaller the dose, the better the sleep. Tapering Seroquel is very difficult. I tapered it to 0 in Jan. 2016. It was a good combo with Lex. But APs used to zombify me. Difficult to explain. If someone doesn’t have bipolar disorder or schizophrenia. I’m not sure APs are such a good choice. Maybe for BDZ WD.

 

I think I felt best on like 10-15 mg Lexapro, but everyone is different. Some ppl feel better even on 5 mg, but not in BDZ WD, I guess. I’d rather increase slowly and note down how I feel each day. Lexapro is a very strong AD, with a quick onset of action. Very calming. Do they give it to you after breakfast?

Hi Estée,

 

I am happy for you, that you feel  better without the diazepam and hope the pain goes away too.

 

If I would later decide to up the lexapro I would definitely first go on 15 mg, as you wrote. Today I have jumped 

Let's see, how it goes. I am nervous and hopeful at the same time    It is good I have still three weeks here to recover.

 

All the best!

Better to be more hopeful than nervous. You’re in a safe place, Ruzenka. How is it going two days after jump? Any change in the meds? How are your WD sxs? You are among ppl, you are being monitored and taken care of. That’s extremely important. Try to walk or even sit for a while in the park. Nature is the best doctor. Sending you lots of healing vibes

Thank you Estée, I am doing ok - I get waves of intense physical anxiety (short breath, dizziness etc.) and am nauseous, but the lexapro helps me to stay calm about all these symptoms.  Before this med they would often make me to freak out, which would bring yet more strange bodily sensations > I would get yet more anxious and panicky. The nurses take my blood pressure twice a day and there is always someone grom the staff present, so you are right, I am  in a safe place The nurses also push me to take challenges - like to take longer walks everyday. I became a bit agoraphobic in the last 2 months, to be honest.

So I am working on that - it is not easy, but as I said, the lexapro helps me and I am able to do the walks.

 

Wish you a good recovery & restful sleep

 

Take care!

P.S. I forgot to say - I stay on 10 mg lexapro, the doctors haven't mentioned increase anymore. For now I am fine with this dose

Lexapro has strong anti-anxiety properties. Better not to increase the dose. 10 mg is a large dose. I think I felt best on 5-10 mg, while off benzos. It should also help you sleep. I was given Lexapro by a sleep doctor. One of the best in my country.

 

Nausea is definitely a Lexapro side effect. It will lessen with time, but you will have to get used to it. Anxiety may be partly BDZ WD and partly Lexapro. After a while, you should feel no anxiety on Lexapro. It’s definitely better than benzos.

 

The onset of action with Lexapro should take place in 1-2 weeks. The full antidepressant effect in 4-6 weeks. One has to be careful with money while on it. I spent a lot. But on a smaller dose, this side effect shouldn’t be so bothersome.

 

If you cannot sleep, you may always accept like 1/4 or 1/2 of that 25 mg Seroquel pill if they want to give it at night. I wouldn’t take it during the day for sure. Or maybe a small dose of Vistaril at night. Would be much better to go on very little sleep for several days and wait for Lexapro to start acting. Lexapro should calm you down for 27-32 hrs (its half-life). And Vistaril is safer than Seroquel, IMO.

 

My sleep is all over the place. I sleep like 3 hrs, then wake up and fall asleep for another 3 after several hours. But life without benzos is worth everything. If you have a possibility to stay in hospital longer. I would stay up to 2 mos. Good luck and keep us updated

Rehab is the last place i would wanna be. But the bottom line is this: the withdrawal will continue long after you have left rehab so you ultimately need to endure it alone. Rehab is for addicts in recovery. Are you an addict or did your Dr. get you into this mess or both? Most benzo users arent addicts and dont need 12 step meetings which im sure you are attending all day long. Good luck.

Rehab is the last place i would wanna be. But the bottom line is this: the withdrawal will continue long after you have left rehab so you ultimately need to endure it alone.

 

If I had stayed in the psych ward two years ago and continued detox from Valium after Ambien detox. I would have saved two years of my life. No one is gonna give me those two years back. IMO, hospital is a safe place to withdraw from BDZ. If the process lasts long enough. The patient is properly diagnosed and not polydrugged. And if the conditions are good. I think the place where Ruzenka is staying meets all these requirements. I believe someone in a detox facility may need support from fellow BBs instead of discouragement. Cause it’s tough to be in hospital, away from home and loved ones. And from pills, of course.

 

Rehab is for addicts in recovery. Are you an addict or did your Dr. get you into this mess or both? Most benzo users arent addicts and dont need 12 step meetings which im sure you are attending all day long. Good luck.

 

I owe to the Twelve-Step Recovery Program eleven happiest years of my benzo-free life. It helped me quit BDZ in 2003 and stay without them. I have never been addicted to alcohol or any drugs. It happens that alcohol acts on the same receptors as benzos. The GABA receptors. My pdoc calls benzos "vodka in a pill". I fully agree with this description.

 

I consider myself an addict and have always believed in the AA saying: "Once an addict, always an addict." The fact that I stopped going to AA meetings and went back on benzos after eleven years off. Only confirms this fact. Addiction is a disease and nothing to be ashamed of. It’s a disease like any other. Only the emotional pain is worse.

 

I’m not saying everyone should accept the Twelve-Step Program. But one will never know if it works without having tried it. Most addiction treatment centers adopt the Minnesota model as the most helpful. It has saved countless lives.

 

If other people define themselves as dependent on benzos in the present or in the past. It is their point of view, which I respect. I think everyone has different addiction potential to different mind-altering substances. Some people may be merely dependent, while others become addicted.

I agree with Estée. I have never took more ativan than prescribed by me doctor (mostly I had an upper limit - never to go above 3mg, other times above 2 mg etc.) Nevertheless I got addicted simply by taking it everyday too long. I meet every criterion of addiction except from craving.

To be exact, the unit I am in focuses on dual diagnoses = mental health problem + addiction. In my case it is panic disorder and benzo dependence. All patients here are treated with respect and I do not feel to be in a better league than other patients with alcohol, cocaine or crystal meth problem. We all have a trouble, which got out of control and want to do something about it.

The therapies here are focused both on addiction and the underlying problem. Together with the nurses I choose which therapies make sense for me a week ahead. If I feel too sick I do not have to attend them.

I am sure many rehabs don't work this way, so I completely understand your mistrust, Windwalker.