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Kindled, reinstated 0.5 mg Xanax, need to taper, but not doing well


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After mistakenly CT'ing a total of three times in the past (never knew I was addicted), the most recent CT (45 days ago) made me kindle like crazy! Once I figured out why I was so sick (about 3 weeks into the CT), I reinstated to 0.5 mg Xanax. First couple days it was like putting out the fire, but after that... it wasn't cutting it. Tolerance withdrawal, kicking in. I've only used it for sleep, with 2 months of use and 5 months of use being the two most recent CT episodes (original one was in 2007).

 

I'm waiting to stabilize on this dose, but its been 2 weeks and symptoms seem to be getting worse instead of better. More food sensitivities, new symptoms like legs/feet tingling/burning. I recently tried gabapentin a total of 5 times before quitting it. It definitely mitigated symptoms, but I feel like its just another scary mind drug that I'm going to have to get off of! :( Plus, googling "gabapentin withdrawls" brings up some pretty scary reading!

 

I want and need to taper off this 0.5 mg ASAP, but am scared to go down when I'm already not feeling good. Hopefully reinstating was a good idea! I have thought about going UP in dose, before I begin the taper... but that just sounds like extending the agony.

 

I asked my Dr for valium last visit, and she denied me. I might be able to get it from another Dr, and will if I can. But I also need to know how to safely taper off the xanax if I can't get the valium. Should I break my pill into two for morning/evening? I currently have only used it at night for sleep / insomnia.

 

I don't have access to a gram scale, so I'm thinking some sort of liquid method might be best. How / when can I get started? Should I be scared that my symptoms are getting worse? I will admit to being scared!  :-[

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Hi I'm bass

So are you looking for advice on how to taper?

Have you stabilized on the .5mg?

Someone suggested a way to taper without using a scale

By scraping off a little at a time. It's in a post going on now on the taper plan section started by Tina. That sounded like it might work for people without a scale

Are you currently doing one dosage a day and get symptoms hours after? I actually do my dosage in the morning on an empty stomach and later before I war dinner. This way the food won't keep the pill from getting g into my bloodstream by absorbing in my food. Let us know what you need advice on and I'm sure some more experienced people will have suggestions to help you out.

Meanwhile I hope you are feeling better and can stabilize on .5mg before starting to try and taper slowly. Take care

 

 

 

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Sorry I misread your post

So you haven't stabilized

May some other have a suggestion to help

Since you have never done more than .5mg and haven't really done it for a tremendousLy long time. I'm hoping you can stabilize at 5mg then slowly try to taper.

Let us know how we can help

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Sorry I misread your post

So you haven't stabilized

May some other have a suggestion to help

Since you have never done more than .5mg and haven't really done it for a tremendousLy long time. I'm hoping you can stabilize at 5mg then slowly try to taper.

Let us know how we can help

 

PositiveThoughts: Thanks for your replies here! :) Indeed, I haven’t done a huge dose (0.5mg), and not for a super long time (2 months, then 4 months). The problem has been the CT after the two month stretch, and then the second CT after the 4 month stretch. Both times didn’t know I was addicted.

 

Part of me says at this low of a dose, maybe I can taper down over a slightly shorter amount of time? At least I hope so! Maybe 2-3 months vs 5-6 months? Was looking at liquid daily micro tapering, reducing by 1% each day. Which would make the taper a little over 3 months. Although that sounds like a very long time at this point! :(

 

The emery board thing, rubbing a little off each pill sounds like a unique idea. The problem I have w that is the pills I have are generics and look like little footballs. They are not flat on any one side, so I think I might have problems geting consistent amounts off via emery board swipes.

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Ombass, I did a direct taper from Alprazolam (generic Xanax), as well. I used a pill cutter to cut the .5mg pills into fours and deduced by .125mgs until I got down to 0.0625mg.

 

If you haven't stabilized, you could increase your dosage until you feel stable and then taper from there, although that means you subject yourself to more of the drug, which might not be good, but at least you might get to an okay point where you can taper down again. If you don't want to do that, then try not to rush the taper from .5mgs. You're already in a sensitive stated from the CTs-- going fast may shock your body even more. Then again, I can't really speak because I only tried to CT once and lasted a day.

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You might try splitting your pills in half and taking .25mg 12 hours apart. The reason I’m suggesting this is because alprazolam has a short half-life. If you want to stabilize, you want to get a steady plasma concentration going and that simply can’t happen on a single dose schedule. It may very well be possible that splitting the dose will actually give you quite a bit of relief. Alprazolam has horrible rebound and interdose withdrawal problems that make it a real pain to taper off of and also make it a real pain to take on a regular basis. Personally when I was on it, I needed it three times a day but I was a heavy smoker so it got eliminated faster than it would have without.

 

The emery board method would still work by the way. You just hold the football the same way each time. The scrapes you’re making are the dose cuts, you count the scrapes them take what’s left of the pill, then take the same scrapes from the previous day and add another one and so on. It’s not an exact science but it’s actually better than some other methods I’ve seen like people crushing up their pills and using a cheap scale. The pills are much more likely to be evenly distributed than a pile of crushed up pills where the actual microscopic spec of medication could be in another pile entirely.

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Ombass, I did a direct taper from Alprazolam (generic Xanax), as well. I used a pill cutter to cut the .5mg pills into fours and deduced by .125mgs until I got down to 0.0625mg.

 

If you haven't stabilized, you could increase your dosage until you feel stable and then taper from there, although that means you subject yourself to more of the drug, which might not be good, but at least you might get to an okay point where you can taper down again. If you don't want to do that, then try not to rush the taper from .5mgs. You're already in a sensitive stated from the CTs-- going fast my shock your body even more. Then again, I can't really speak because I only tried to CT once and lasted a day.

 

Thanks for the reply, ShaneB. I am tempted to increase my dose, but honestly at this point I just really don’t want to. These pills have essentially ruined my life, more than once! I don’t want any more of them, if I can avoid it. I definitely think I’m sensitive from the CTs! I wish I would have known I was addicted so I could have avoided them!

 

I could try the pill cutter on the 1/4 pill cuts, I figured they were so small that they would just crumble if I try to cut them again. Did you feel the cuts when you went down by .125 ? How long did it take you/how slow was your taper? At this point I’m looking at liquid titration in milk, maybe just doing a slow taper, 1% or 2% per day. 1% per day would be a little over 3 months taper. 2% per day would be a 45 day taper. Not sure if that’s too aggressive / fast for my situation, but it seems like I’m on a relatively low dose! And I just want this over with as quickly as possible (although I know not to rush it).

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You might try splitting your pills in half and taking .25mg 12 hours apart. The reason I’m suggesting this is because alprazolam has a short half-life. If you want to stabilize, you want to get a steady plasma concentration going and that simply can’t happen on a single dose schedule. It may very well be possible that splitting the dose will actually give you quite a bit of relief. Alprazolam has horrible rebound and interdose withdrawal problems that make it a real pain to taper off of and also make it a real pain to take on a regular basis. Personally when I was on it, I needed it three times a day but I was a heavy smoker so it got eliminated faster than it would have without.

 

The emery board method would still work by the way. You just hold the football the same way each time. The scrapes you’re making are the dose cuts, you count the scrapes them take what’s left of the pill, then take the same scrapes from the previous day and add another one and so on. It’s not an exact science but it’s actually better than some other methods I’ve seen like people crushing up their pills and using a cheap scale. The pills are much more likely to be evenly distributed than a pile of crushed up pills where the actual microscopic spec of medication could be in another pile entirely.

 

Thanks for the reply here, and for the information. I seem to have a very difficult time with insomnia as one of my main symptoms, I just feel like my body is wired or electrocuted or on fire when I try to lie down and go to sleep! :( With that in mind, only taking 1/2 a pill at bedtime sounds a little frightening! This is what concerns me about splitting the dose between AM / PM.

 

Good to know the emery board method would still work with the little footballs. I might resort to that if the liquid / milk titration doesn’t work. It seems to me like going down very very very slowly, like 1% or 2% per day would be this easiest/least harsh way to taper… But maybe that’s still too fast. It sounds potentially less harsh than having to adjust to 10% cut’s, but this is definitely new ground for me, so I’m not sure.

 

Trying to muck around with powder and eyeballing piles / granules sounds iffy at best. The other option is try to cut the footballs into 8 pieces, so could go down by 0.125 each cut. I’m picking up a mortar and pestle and liquid syringe today. Think I’m gonna try the milk titration method and see how many % Down I can tolerate. Might try 2% per day and see if I can do it. If not, 1% per day. Is this too fast?

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Ombass, I did a direct taper from Alprazolam (generic Xanax), as well. I used a pill cutter to cut the .5mg pills into fours and deduced by .125mgs until I got down to 0.0625mg.

 

If you haven't stabilized, you could increase your dosage until you feel stable and then taper from there, although that means you subject yourself to more of the drug, which might not be good, but at least you might get to an okay point where you can taper down again. If you don't want to do that, then try not to rush the taper from .5mgs. You're already in a sensitive stated from the CTs-- going fast my shock your body even more. Then again, I can't really speak because I only tried to CT once and lasted a day.

 

Thanks for the reply, ShaneB. I am tempted to increase my dose, but honestly at this point I just really don’t want to. These pills have essentially ruined my life, more than once! I don’t want any more of them, if I can avoid it. I definitely think I’m sensitive from the CTs! I wish I would have known I was addicted so I could have avoided them!

 

I could try the pill cutter on the 1/4 pill cuts, I figured they were so small that they would just crumble if I try to cut them again. Did you feel the cuts when you went down by .125 ? How long did it take you/how slow was your taper? At this point I’m looking at liquid titration in milk, maybe just doing a slow taper, 1% or 2% per day. 1% per day would be a little over 3 months taper. 2% per day would be a 45 day taper. Not sure if that’s too aggressive / fast for my situation, but it seems like I’m on a relatively low dose! And I just want this over with as quickly as possible (although I know not to rush it).

 

When I split the .5mg pill into fours, I cut those into halves-- some of them would crumble, but I was successful in cutting them almost without failure. And yes, I did feel my cuts when I went down from .125mg. At the very end of my taper, the 0.0625 wasn't doing much for me which is why I decided to jump from there. My taper took around 9 months, and I cut around every 2 weeks, but would hold longer during certain points. I jumped from my morning dose at .125mg and I felt horrible, which is why I decided to taper from 0.0625mg at that point.

 

I've read that liquid titration really does help some with withdrawal symptoms, so if it's working for you, no need to switch over. However, I do understand you not wanting to up your dose. It's kinda the reason why I didn't switch from Xanax to Valium before tapering-- I didn't want to prolong having the drug in my body and felt it would be a waist of time, but I'll never know if my taper would have been easier with Valium, although I probably wouldn't go back and change my decision. Sadly, I can't comment on your titration plan; I'm not great figuring out those dosages. Have you asked someone on the Titration Taper Plan board?

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When I split the .5mg pill into fours, I cut those into halves-- some of them would crumble, but I was successful in cutting them almost without failure. And yes, I did feel my cuts when I went down from .125mg. At the very end of my taper, the 0.0625 wasn't doing much for me which is why I decided to jump from there. My taper took around 9 months, and I cut around every 2 weeks, but would hold longer during certain points. I jumped from my morning dose at .125mg and I felt horrible, which is why I decided to taper from 0.0625mg at that point.

 

I've read that liquid titration really does help some with withdrawal symptoms, so if it's working for you, no need to switch over. However, I do understand you not wanting to up your dose. It's kinda the reason why I didn't switch from Xanax to Valium before tapering-- I didn't want to prolong having the drug in my body and felt it would be a waist of time, but I'll never know if my taper would have been easier with Valium, although I probably wouldn't go back and change my decision. Sadly, I can't comment on your titration plan; I'm not great figuring out those dosages. Have you asked someone on the Titration Taper Plan board?

 

Hi Shane,

Thanks for the reply and info here. Were you working with the little "football" pills? Or were these standard round ones? I got the footballs, and 1/4 is freaking TINY ??? I'm tempted to try going down by 1/4... but that would be a 25% reduction, and I'm pretty sure I'd feel that burn.

 

I relate to the not wanting to switch to valium thing, purely because it prolongs the agony. For some reason I thought you could just "swap out" the Xanax for the Valium... but turns out, no. You have to transition to that as well. Not to mention, I don't have any valium and my Dr denied me it.

 

Did you split your dose between morning / evening? I am considering doing that, but the one night when I tried to go down to half a pill (Drs suggestion) I was in hell. Which leads me to think that would be rough.

 

I bought some milk, syringe, mortar and pestle etc yesterday to prepare to do the liquid titration. I tried to do it last night, but i couldn't get the pill to dissolve completely in the milk, there were always little grains in there. I am thinking the alchohol might be better for dissolving, as well as making a bigger batch so I don't have to muck w it every night.

 

I did post on the liquid titration board with my "plan" to go down slowly... by 1% or 2% per day, which would be either a 45 day or 90 day taper... which appears is too aggressive! :-[ I was told it was too fast. But I am sure you can relate to just wanting to get this crap over and done with!

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When I split the .5mg pill into fours, I cut those into halves-- some of them would crumble, but I was successful in cutting them almost without failure. And yes, I did feel my cuts when I went down from .125mg. At the very end of my taper, the 0.0625 wasn't doing much for me which is why I decided to jump from there. My taper took around 9 months, and I cut around every 2 weeks, but would hold longer during certain points. I jumped from my morning dose at .125mg and I felt horrible, which is why I decided to taper from 0.0625mg at that point.

 

I've read that liquid titration really does help some with withdrawal symptoms, so if it's working for you, no need to switch over. However, I do understand you not wanting to up your dose. It's kinda the reason why I didn't switch from Xanax to Valium before tapering-- I didn't want to prolong having the drug in my body and felt it would be a waist of time, but I'll never know if my taper would have been easier with Valium, although I probably wouldn't go back and change my decision. Sadly, I can't comment on your titration plan; I'm not great figuring out those dosages. Have you asked someone on the Titration Taper Plan board?

 

Hi Shane,

Thanks for the reply and info here. Were you working with the little "football" pills? Or were these standard round ones? I got the footballs, and 1/4 is freaking TINY ??? I'm tempted to try going down by 1/4... but that would be a 25% reduction, and I'm pretty sure I'd feel that burn.

 

I relate to the not wanting to switch to valium thing, purely because it prolongs the agony. For some reason I thought you could just "swap out" the Xanax for the Valium... but turns out, no. You have to transition to that as well. Not to mention, I don't have any valium and my Dr denied me it.

 

Did you split your dose between morning / evening? I am considering doing that, but the one night when I tried to go down to half a pill (Drs suggestion) I was in hell. Which leads me to think that would be rough.

 

I bought some milk, syringe, mortar and pestle etc yesterday to prepare to do the liquid titration. I tried to do it last night, but i couldn't get the pill to dissolve completely in the milk, there were always little grains in there. I am thinking the alchohol might be better for dissolving, as well as making a bigger batch so I don't have to muck w it every night.

 

I did post on the liquid titration board with my "plan" to go down slowly... by 1% or 2% per day, which would be either a 45 day or 90 day taper... which appears is too aggressive! :-[ I was told it was too fast. But I am sure you can relate to just wanting to get this crap over and done with!

 

Totally understand you want this to be over, but others who helped me during my taper would suggest to start slower rather than faster. You also have to gauge how your body is feeling-- it will tell you if you're going to fast by the intensity of your symptoms.

 

I had the circular pills, which did make it easier to cut. I haven't even heard of a football shaped pill. Are you taking brand name?

 

As far as my dosage, I would take .5mg 3x daily, so one in the morning, afternoon, and night. I started cutting my morning dose, then afternoon, and then night. I believe I jumped from each dose in the same order.

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Thanks for the quick reply, Shane :)

 

I am taking generic Alprazolam, but the curve ball here is I live in Thailand. So the pills here look different. They are little tiny football shaped pills that I can easily score in half or quarters with a pill cutter. But beyond that, they crumble or become powder.

 

re: gauging how my body is feeling, it's feeling pretty crappy! Arguably crappier than it has ever felt. I guess this is part of the healing process, but part of me feels like its also the damage done from the CTs and kindling. But considering how bad I feel, i suppose "pushing it" and beginning a taper would maybe be too much right now. Maybe wait a bit more to stabilize. I just hate the feeling that I'm getting worse, not better. It scares me and makes me wonder if I'm doing the right thing, or if I've messed myself up bad or something.

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Thanks for the quick reply, Shane :)

 

I am taking generic Alprazolam, but the curve ball here is I live in Thailand. So the pills here look different. They are little tiny football shaped pills that I can easily score in half or quarters with a pill cutter. But beyond that, they crumble or become powder.

 

re: gauging how my body is feeling, it's feeling pretty crappy! Arguably crappier than it has ever felt. I guess this is part of the healing process, but part of me feels like its also the damage done from the CTs and kindling. But considering how bad I feel, i suppose "pushing it" and beginning a taper would maybe be too much right now. Maybe wait a bit more to stabilize. I just hate the feeling that I'm getting worse, not better. It scares me and makes me wonder if I'm doing the right thing, or if I've messed myself up bad or something.

 

Well, like I said before, you're probably really sensitive right now from the past CTs. It will be up to you if you need to up your dose and stabilize, or continue to taper where you're at. Either way, going too fast might make you feel worse. Just know that whatever you're feeling, you have the potential to heal. I've read a few posts where other buddies who CT'd have healed and healed faster than me! There's no way to know what will happen next. Be patient with yourself and do the best you can for your body, and keep coming back here for support :)

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  • 4 weeks later...

HI ombass

I hope you are doing better

Did you CT in 2007 or 2017?

Signature reads 2007

If 2007 then have you been on it for 10 years before trying to taper again

Like others mentioned

Hopefully you can stabilize on the .5 mg

Are you taking them two times a day

You may be experiencing inter dose wd

Is it possible for you to cross over to valium

Like others mentioned if you can't stabilize on .5 mg then you may need to start higher

Either way if you can hold long enough on .5 mg to stabilize

Then begin your taper super slowly that may be the best solution

I dose two times per day even on valium as psychologically it makes me not worry

Let us know how your doing and I hope you feel better soon

How long have you been on the . 5mg

And again are you doing two doses throughout the daym

That may help with the inter dose wd sx

Thoughts are with you

 

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Well, like I said before, you're probably really sensitive right now from the past CTs. It will be up to you if you need to up your dose and stabilize, or continue to taper where you're at. Either way, going too fast might make you feel worse. Just know that whatever you're feeling, you have the potential to heal. I've read a few posts where other buddies who CT'd have healed and healed faster than me! There's no way to know what will happen next. Be patient with yourself and do the best you can for your body, and keep coming back here for support :)

 

Thanks so much for the kind words and support, ShaneB! :) I ended up holding at my 0.5 mg dose and not going up. I seemed to stabilize after a bit. Then I decided to go down to 3/4 of a pill. It was rough at first, but then seemed to stabilize again. I was traveling recently and had to extend my trip, which left me with only one Xanax pill left for 2 days. Poor planning on my part! But that meant I had to split it in half, and effectively go down to 1/2 a pill. But I just decided to go with it, and have been at 1/2 a pill for 10 days now. This cut has been a little more rough than the first one, lots more gastro symptoms. Stomach cramping, nausea. But I seem to be slowly stabilizing.

 

The way I look at it, I'm half way there! ;D At least, kinda/sorta. I've only got one more cut to make... then I'm going to eventually jump from 1/4 pill.

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HI ombass

I hope you are doing better

Did you CT in 2007 or 2017?

Signature reads 2007

If 2007 then have you been on it for 10 years before trying to taper again

Like others mentioned

Hopefully you can stabilize on the .5 mg

Are you taking them two times a day

You may be experiencing inter dose wd

Is it possible for you to cross over to valium

Like others mentioned if you can't stabilize on .5 mg then you may need to start higher

Either way if you can hold long enough on .5 mg to stabilize

Then begin your taper super slowly that may be the best solution

I dose two times per day even on valium as psychologically it makes me not worry

Let us know how your doing and I hope you feel better soon

How long have you been on the . 5mg

And again are you doing two doses throughout the daym

That may help with the inter dose wd sx

Thoughts are with you

 

Thanks for the support and the reply here, PositiveThoughts! :) I actually CT'ed multiple times, once originally in 2007, then a few times recently in 2017. Never used benzos more than 4 months at a time, and every time it was somewhat inconsistent / sporadic use -- I didn't think I was addicted/dependent. But I was taking it more days than not, and i guess I was taking it often enough! This last stretch of use was probably one of the longest at about 4 months.

 

Unfortunately I don't have access to Valium, and my Dr denied me the switch. I am currently only taking Xanax at night.

 

At this point I just want to get through the rest of this taper! I know I'm going about it semi quickly, and making larger cuts by just chopping the pill into quarters. But it seems to be working, for better or worse. Definitely some rough patches! Definitely hasn't been all roses. But I also am liking the fact that I am making documentable progress! That feels good :) I hope the next cut, aka The Final Cut goes ok... because after that? TIME TO JUMP! ;D

 

 

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HI ombass

I hope you are doing better

Did you CT in 2007 or 2017?

Signature reads 2007

If 2007 then have you been on it for 10 years before trying to taper again

Like others mentioned

Hopefully you can stabilize on the .5 mg

Are you taking them two times a day

You may be experiencing inter dose wd

Is it possible for you to cross over to valium

Like others mentioned if you can't stabilize on .5 mg then you may need to start higher

Either way if you can hold long enough on .5 mg to stabilize

Then begin your taper super slowly that may be the best solution

I dose two times per day even on valium as psychologically it makes me not worry

Let us know how your doing and I hope you feel better soon

How long have you been on the . 5mg

And again are you doing two doses throughout the daym

That may help with the inter dose wd sx

Thoughts are with you

 

Thanks for the support and the reply here, PositiveThoughts! :) I actually CT'ed multiple times, once originally in 2007, then a few times recently in 2017. Never used benzos more than 4 months at a time, and every time it was somewhat inconsistent / sporadic use -- I didn't think I was addicted/dependent. But I was taking it more days than not, and i guess I was taking it often enough! This last stretch of use was probably one of the longest at about 4 months.

 

Unfortunately I don't have access to Valium, and my Dr denied me the switch. I am currently only taking Xanax at night.

 

At this point I just want to get through the rest of this taper! I know I'm going about it semi quickly, and making larger cuts by just chopping the pill into quarters. But it seems to be working, for better or worse. Definitely some rough patches! Definitely hasn't been all roses. But I also am liking the fact that I am making documentable progress! That feels good :) I hope the next cut, aka The Final Cut goes ok... because after that? TIME TO JUMP! ;D

HI ombass

    Good to hear you make it.I hope you get through this stuff  without any problems.You can do it.

                  Siwat

 

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Ombass, can you ask your doctor for .25 mg pills?  Theyvare much easier to work with, and cut in 4's gives you a .0625 dose to cut out.  Much easier to tolerate than a .125 cut, believe me.  This is what im.doing, although I can't handle.a cut every 2 weeks, as I work a stressful.job and have to be able.to function.  In taking a cut every month.  It may take me a while, but I'll get there.  I started at .25 3x's a day (.75 total).
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