Finally feeling it / Cutting too fast?

Compared to most, I don't have much to complain about, but after my latest cut I'm finally really feeling it. Though the ride down hasn't been easy so far, it's been manageable. Today I was almost crippled with anxiety after a night of no sleep at all. Somehow I pushed through and went to the post office with my son to mail a package. While there I had a panic attack and had to rush out the door. That was my first panic attack in a very long time. Now I'm sitting here all jittery and can't seem to focus on anything. My brain is so fogged up. On top of that, I'm experiencing some DP/DR for the first time. Maybe I'm cutting a little too fast? Any advice?

It is possible, but on the flip side, lack of sleep itself can bring on a ton of symptoms.  I am over a year off, and while most of my mental symptoms have cleared, if I have a day or two where I don't sleep well, some of my issues that have been long gone come back (although it is mild compared to what it used to be).  During the early days, not sleeping for a night or two could send me back into almost "acute" withdrawal.

 

Unfortunately, even with a slow taper, some people do still experience an increase in anxiety and panic when they get to the lower doses.  I don't know if tapering slower would help this: sometimes it does, but other times people continue to have issues as they taper, no matter how slow they go.

 

What do you do when you have had panic attacks?  It took a lot of practice, but I found breathing exercises extremely helpful in getting my panic attacks under control and eventually getting them to stop.  Instead of running out of a store if I had a panic attack, I would practice breathing, remind myself I was completely safe, and then finish whatever shopping needed to be done.  (A friend of mine, who is a psychologist who suffers panic attacks, told me the worst thing you can do during a panic attack is run out of the place, because it will cause your brain to "fear" it - in my case a grocery store, making it harder next time.  He said that this is how people become afraid of places, and sometimes eventually become agoraphobic, once every normal place you go to is now a "trigger".  He said if I had to take a moment to go to the bathroom or outside to calm myself down, that was fine, but completely leaving the place would most likely cause worsening panic attacks next time).  I started practicing the breathing techniques and exercises when I had attacks at home, and eventually started going into bigger and busier grocery stores, while using my relaxing and breathing techniques.  This was super difficult, but I am so glad I did it because I was starting to get to the point where I was nervous leaving the house.  I had to keep reminding myself that although panic attacks were scary as hell, they were not dangerous, and I would be fine even if I continued shopping. 

Thanks so much for your thoughtful and caring reply, Dolphinator. You might just be right about the lack of sleep triggering things for me yesterday, as I got at least a few hours of sleep off and on last night and was able to manage things much better today. I even was able to go get some medical tests done (in a foreign language) on my own, and not go into a panic about it. I did need to practice some deep breathing during my cat scan, though. What happened to me yesterday in the post office took me by surprise as it was my first full-blown panic attack in a couple of years. If I start to have another one, I'll definitely be taking your advice. Meanwhile, I'll be practicing my breathing and coping skills. Thanks again!

Hello!

Your story sounds exactly like mine. I had been doing awesome with some manageable anxiety at times. Sunday was a nightmare. I started panicking and had terrible depersonalization. I needed to go to the grocery store and had a panic attack driving there. I made myself keep going. I had a panic attack in the store forgot half of what I needed and came home. Since then I've felt awful. I have missed two days of work and I haven't missed work due to anxiety issues for years. I am hoping I can get up the courage to go tomorrow because I know avoidance just makes things worse. I am defiantly not tapering again until things settle down. I am over 96% done with my taper. Good luck and hope you feel better!

I actually got into contact with my old psychologist today. She said everyone hits a point in their withdrawal (usually when you get close to being done) where the body really recognizes the drug is being taken away. She said this is when times get tougher, but reassured me that it won't be forever.

Following this thread because I started to create a new post that was similar. I have not had a panic attack but sometimes the anxiety kicks up several notches - usually when I am super tired due to lack of sleep. Yesterday was fine - even during the stressful times; today has been a huge pain though the actual sleep content is about the same.

 

So, based on the original question - does one need to hold a cut, or simply know that as we get closer to the point of stepping off, the symptoms may kick in from time to time AND we continue the taper as planned?

 

Interested in what the experienced ones recommend.

Thanks for all the replies. I had another night of almost zero sleep and today my anxiety is all ramped up again. On top of that, I'm experiencing DR/DR, jello legs, and facial tics. It's all classic withdrawal from what I understand, but no doubt a bad night without sleep really is a trigger. Yesterday I got a few hours of sleep and the day was much better. Today's been a real challenge. Just being around my family has been hard. Still, finally by 5 pm here today I've managed a walk, took a shower, and was able to keep a little soup and rice down. I'm not sure if I'm cutting too fast or not, but one thing for sure -- I'm holding at where I'm at for awhile. Here's to healing for everyone.

From looking at your w/d schedule I want to say that you are tapering a bit too fast. Try to stay on the same dose until you feel somewhat normal and then cut down to the next. This has worked for me, I'm about 2 weeks away from my final jump after 8 months of this. Good luck to you and I hope you find relief soon. God Bless!

Jorge007, what do you mean "somewhat normal?"  I am always feeling horrible no matter what.  Don't know if I should continue tapering since the horror never leaves and the symptoms are intolerable.  Can't ever feel somewhat good during my tapers.  If I go too slow then overwhelms me to think that this horror during tapering will last a year + with following withdrawal stage which is more time.  As Jack Hobson-Dupont describes it, "oceans of time!"  I don't think mentally and physically I can take that long.  I'm already feeling like "throwing in the towel."