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The Further I get away from c/t date I...


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Get more nervous and panicy just thinking about how I can no longer go back to any pills to make me feel better. Please tell me how you cope after you cold turkey or jump. This is extremely hard for me right now. I’m trying to accept it but god I can’t stop thinking and it’s making me sick.
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Get more nervous and panicy just thinking about how I can no longer go back to any pills to make me feel better. Please tell me how you cope after you cold turkey or jump. This is extremely hard for me right now. I’m trying to accept it but god I can’t stop thinking and it’s making me sick.

 

I'm really new here and I'm going through it myself 10 mg of Valium a day down to nothing I have refills so it's not like I don't have the option I have a legal bottle of pills right next to me but I feel if I take it it will be an insult to my higher power in my case that is God. For me I found that sitting still and focusing on your breathing definitely helps and pretty much anything you can do to get your mind off of the subject in my instance I am playing silly little games on my phone like free apps it may sound stupid but it's definitely a distraction. The worst of it for me is when I'm trying to sleep it feels like I'm almost. Having hallucinations and last night I had a nightmare that was so intense it actually woke me up and I was in tears. I think the most important thing to realize is that once you understand where it's coming from and you understand that feelings of persecution and anxiety etcetera Etc are just a manifestation of the withdraw from the drug then it becomes a lot easier to deal with. I will be honest I thought I was going insane until I found this message board I literally just signed up with in the past two days and I've been clean for just about 2 weeks. I literally have 3 refills so I can take them if I want to but I am trying to get away from it. I think that old saying is true you have to go through it to get out of it. To be completely honest posting on this board has been very helpful because if I didn't see other people's posts I probably would have already broke down and pop the pill. I hope this helps. Good luck and if you believe in God then God bless through your journey. Helping other people is helping me and I only got one reply to my post so far so don't feel bad or left out. I will check back here later to see if you responded but obviously I'm not offering medical advice and if something crazy happens you should definitely see a doctor having said all that as long as you know it's just in your head you probably know your own body better than anyone else just remember all wounds heal with time! :-) I know it's different for different people and it definitely is a mental upset when I read stories or watch videos about people that say they have no problem on high dosages and then mean while I'm going through my own living you know what so I know where you're coming from just be as Brave as you can knuckle down and for me personally I found that smoothies and natural food and lots and lots of water help. Again not medical advice but I have heard vitamin C helps and I'm slamming smoothies like there's no tomorrow and it definitely helps for me so maybe try a tall glass of apple juice right before bed try to make it as organic as possible I'm sure your body will thank you. Good luck!

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i had to reinstate after c/t V and it made no difference.  Worse, I think.  This is what keeps me from reaching for the pills again.  The deed is done and I don't want back on the circuit.  My circuits are screwed, with reduction and abstinance the only answer as far as I can see. 

 

I know how you feel and have been tempted many times but I know it would be useless.  An exercise in futility. 

 

My very, very best to you.  :smitten:

 

Dee x

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  • 3 weeks later...
I went c/t out of ignorance about benzos (3 months ago) and w/d.  I had taken Diazepam casually (for muscle relaxation) a couple times a week (or less) for about a year.  Some months I took none.  Skipped a month or two.  Took 10 another month.  Off and on.  I never realized it was tolerance - thought my leg was getting worse.  And so here I am.  The first weeks were horrendous (anxiety/fear/sweating/etc). Pain.  I now have windows and waves. Pain, head pain, leg pain, nausea, dizziness, ear pain, off and on anxiety.  I find that I have to force myself to be a little busy.  To play app/games.  To distract myself.  Get out of the house even when I don't want to.  Distraction helps me.  Sitting around is my enemy.  Yes, it's scary.  I'm older so it's always in the back of my head "Is this W/D or something more"...and then the next window rolls in and my faith is restored that this shall pass.  It's insane how this devastates our lives until time rolls by and we heal.  Hang in.  Meditation.  Breathing.  Hot baths. Distractions - even for 10 minutes.  It's tough. I have two full prescriptions in my cabinet. I will never take them...never again. These boards opened my eyes and give me hope.
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I stopped the K 10 weeks ago, but still carry rescue doses in my key case.  Hopefully, I'll never use them, no matter what happens.  I can relate very well to your fears.  I try to tell myself that it's not in my best interest to take this stuff, in fact it's the worst thing I could do. 
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  • 3 weeks later...
Withdrawal will pass it may take time but it will. If you stay on a benzo for a long period of time you will just get sicker and sicker and then one day you will become a shell of your former self. How great would it be to wake up every morning med free feeling refreshed going through the day not hitting interpose withdrawal and having to take a pill to fix it. Laying down to go to bed and feeling comfortable and then just dozing off into a restful peaceful sleep. You will never ever have that while on a benzo.
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I did an involuntary CT after being polydrugged for 25 years. It is, of course, insanity because the symptoms get worse, or the same, as compared with the dropdown. It may also take longer, but not always.

However, if I had chosen, I still don`t think I had a slowdown because the tablets were making me completely crazy. I stumbled, and had similar inconvenience as in withdrawal. Experienced terror/ anxiety, and finally thought I was persecuted. Had insomnia with nightmares, and woke up sweaty and terrified. In the end, I forbade myself to drive a car, be mad at everything and everyone who "was in the way". In my brand new car, it started to boil in the engine because I was battering the poor gearbox. I didn`t want to take a single tablet, felt that all of this was pure madness.

I was also afraid of to lose my prescription, the pharmacy would be closed or forget about the tablets if I left (don`t know how many miles I have driven back and forth because of this).

 

So this is my best decision. Life was too much about my tablets, and worst of all: traffic and drugs are not a good combination. It's hard, and some times very tough, but it's worth a thousand times.

 

Hope you are doing well, we are many who can support, and 100% understand what you're going through.    :)

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