Feeling Traumatized

I feel such intense fear daily.  It’s thick and constant.  I feel like I’m traumatized constantly by these neverending symptoms.  Never getting a break or relief.  I feel like I’m on the verge of a nervous breakdown daily.  Shaking scared and so sensitive to everything.  Every nerve in me is shot.  Being this way is preventing healing.  I just don’t understand how I became such a ball over nerves..... 

 

Can anyone relate?

 

 

No one?

I'm sorry you are feeling so awful. 

I'm sorry you are feeling so awful.

 

Thank you

I can relate 100%

 

Anxiety is constant and brutal, it’s nothing like “normal “ anxiety

 

It’s like being stuck in a severe panic attack

 

 

Benzo withdrawal is known to be long lasting, we will get better

Yes……… severely traumatized daily…………

 

I feel exactly the same especially with my physical symptoms. I feel constantly on the verge of passing out and as if the room is about to start spinnig but never does. I am in a total state of terror all the time.

I am concerned that being like this constantly is not going to help my brain.

 

 

Thank You All for Your replies.    I know I need to work on acceptance.  I’m fighting this process.  Just hard to do at times.  Acceptance!    I’m really in the trenches today.  My love to you all! 

oh man totally.

 

yes what you guys have said, its living in a constant state of terror and then i get worried cause its not good to live like this, extraordinarily stressful. i feel traumatized for sure after 2 years of tolerance, tapering, and post, 2 years of feeling absolutely horrible, i get worried its doing permanent damage even if i "heal" 100%, its like, how could this not have any lasting effects on me? i worry bout my lil ole heart.

 

oh yeah, traumatized for sure. this has been beyond anything i ever imagined. even one day of this, and its been hundreds and hundreds

oh man totally.

 

yes what you guys have said, its living in a constant state of terror and then i get worried cause its not good to live like this, extraordinarily stressful. i feel traumatized for sure after 2 years of tolerance, tapering, and post, 2 years of feeling absolutely horrible, i get worried its doing permanent damage even if i "heal" 100%, its like, how could this not have any lasting effects on me? i worry bout my lil ole heart.

 

oh yeah, traumatized for sure. this has been beyond anything i ever imagined. even one day of this, and its been hundreds and hundreds

 

Have you had any notable improvement?  Anything that gives you some comfort and hope?

Me too F4M.   

 

I've already been diagnosed with PTSD and feel retraumatised. 

 

Are you doing any little things to distract?  I sat outside this morning and just looked at the plants. 

 

Dee 

Me too F4M.   

 

I've already been diagnosed with PTSD and feel retraumatised. 

 

Are you doing any little things to distract?  I sat outside this morning and just looked at the plants. 

 

Dee 

 

I need to.  I feel crappy.    I have to do something.  My head and neck are on fire.  Gets soooo old.  I have kids, so I have to press on. 

 

How are your symptoms Dee?

Not travelling well at all F4M. 

 

There is confusion in my mind as to whether I could be suffering the lingering effects of Serotonin Syndrome when doctor gave me Cymbalta and Lexapro (a/d''s) with no wash out period.  It was horrendous, and still awful.        Hit with a sledgehammer. 

 

I have had SS before as result of same mistake by doctor  :idiot:and know what it feels like, but this is a bit different and can't rule out the Valium as contributory to the mess I find myself.  I have the symptoms of V WD from reading here, and elsewhere.  It's very scary. 

 

I took them (a/d's) for less than 2 weeks while at the same time c/t'ing 2mg Valium which I have been taking for approximately 5 years.  Dedicated 2mgs with intermittant 5-10mg.....I just don't know what is REALLY happening to me anymore. 

 

I'm going to ride out the SS if that's what I got and not going to taper from my now reinstated 2mg Valium feel too unwell.  I need to stabilise and think I could be in tolerance.  IDK, I just know it sucks.  The DR is really awful and what with physical pain all over and the fatigue.....and some. 

 

I'm seeing a doctor tomorrow as outpatient to an Addictions Clinic.  I KNOW they will advise rapid WD and if they do I will ignore their advices and adopt a slow taper with the help of BB.  Sticking with BB irrespective, I trust the people here more than I trust doctors. 

 

I feel your pain F4M I really do we've just got to keep focussed on eventual recovery and healing.  There is no alternative from where I'm sitting.  Peace F4M 

 

It's a mind bender that's for sure. 

 

Dee 

 

 

 

 

Oh yes, has been ongoing only to diminish recently, just shy of 18 months off K. Has been a freaking nightmare. I worried, actually, about being traumatized psychologically from the incredible depth of depression. Would I ever recover from that? I've never considered myself to be a 'tough guy' - I can only say even getting to this point was not done entirely alone. BB has been there at critical moments I felt I could go no further - for Real! Your success matters as it does to any one of us. Please take care and . . . avoid stress if possible!

My physical pain is off the charts and NOTHING helps. I can’t eat or drink without getting brutal head and neck pain.  I’m talking on the floor rolling around pain.  My DP/DR, cog fog, and weird brain stuff are FAR too hard to keep enduring.  I just don’t understand how my brain signals are soo off that they respond to eating and touch as intense pain? 

 

F4M

The weird brain stuff IS awful F4M.  I thought my dining table was pointing in a different direction.  It's freaks me out and have to hold it together. 

 

My back and neck are killing and was wondering if you are taking anything to relieve your acute pain?

 

I took some Codeine which I had left over from a compression fracture, and have also used Paracetamol.  Maybe you need to see your doctor for pain meds? 

 

I'm so sorry F4M.

 

Dee

The weird brain stuff IS awful F4M.  I thought my dining table was pointing in a different direction.  It's freaks me out and have to hold it together. 

 

My back and neck are killing and was wondering if you are taking anything to relieve your acute pain?

 

I took some Codeine which I had left over from a compression fracture, and have also used Paracetamol.  Maybe you need to see your doctor for pain meds? 

 

I'm so sorry F4M.

 

Dee

 

 

Dee,

I have to really find something for this pain.    It’s unbelievable.  My brain is literally on fire right now. I’ve tried some OTC stuff.  Nothing helps.  I think it’s severe nerve damage in my case.    I wish I could find a doctor that could tell me what what was wrong with me. 

 

You’ll be fine Dee, you are so strong!!!!

oh man totally.

 

yes what you guys have said, its living in a constant state of terror and then i get worried cause its not good to live like this, extraordinarily stressful. i feel traumatized for sure after 2 years of tolerance, tapering, and post, 2 years of feeling absolutely horrible, i get worried its doing permanent damage even if i "heal" 100%, its like, how could this not have any lasting effects on me? i worry bout my lil ole heart.

 

oh yeah, traumatized for sure. this has been beyond anything i ever imagined. even one day of this, and its been hundreds and hundreds

 

Have you had any notable improvement?  Anything that gives you some comfort and hope?

 

actually - yes, i have, my post was fairly ahhhh cause of most of my time with this, but here in post month 8, and i try not to say this too often lol cause we know what happens if we celebrate too early ahhh, but YES im finally seeing improvement overall in month 8, dare i say i had 2 of maybe the best weeks ive had in 2 years recently. im alil rougher this week, but im pretty confident my baseline is FINALLY improving.

Luke that’s Great!!!!!! So happy for you!!!!

 

F4M

I don't understand it properly F4M but I try to understand my back and neck pain as nerves firing off indiscriminately as a result overstimulation during either WD or tolerance.

 

I try not to view it as damage and that the more time we put between ourselves and the drug the more we will heal with no lasting damage.

 

Take this with a grain of salt F4M because I don't REALLY know it's just the way I'M trying to understand it.  Maybe I'm conning myself.  .

 

Dee 

I don't understand it properly F4M but I try to understand my back and neck pain as nerves firing off indiscriminately as a result overstimulation during either WD or tolerance.

 

I try not to view it as damage and that the more time we put between ourselves and the drug the more we will heal with no lasting damage.

 

Take this with a grain of salt F4M because I don't REALLY know it's just the way I'M trying to understand it.  Maybe I'm conning myself.  .

 

Dee 

 

Dee,  thank you.  Your always so positive!!!! 

I think I’m just worse then everyone else.  I read the boards and there isn’t really anything relatable to my experience.  My symptoms are so severe, I just really can’t get it in perspective. 

 

 

The pain in my head and neck is soooo bad.  I’ve never had headaches or anything like that growing up.  This is on another level.  I just don’t get it.  I would expect it more in my limbs but my head and neck are no joke.  I’ll never understand this. 

...yes...

 

Clay, do you get headaches too?

F4M

Yes. At first they were constant 24/7. Now they are here and there. How about the twitching? I did not as much as I thought I did, understand before.

 

Mine are 24/7 headaches and neck pain.    I don’t get twitches, however, I would gladly trade twitches for the nerve pain in my head and neck. 

Two hours ago I was right there with you. I don't feel good now but different every hour. This sucks! Thanks all

 

Claysummer, I know how you feel.  I pray it gets better soon.  F4M