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Mornings So Very Rough


[Fi...]

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Mornings are the worst time of day.  I wake to feeling completely confused and ill.  It’s back to this nightmare.  I’m so damaged mentally and physically.  I dread daytime. 

 

Does anyone else have morning struggles?

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Mornings are the worst time of day.  I wake to feeling completely confused and ill.  It’s back to this nightmare.  I’m so damaged mentally and physically.  I dread daytime. 

 

Does anyone else have morning struggles?

 

Yes, this kind of pattern is extremely common.  I had it for a long time.  But, eventually things even out and get better.  :smitten:

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Mornings are the worst time of day.  I wake to feeling completely confused and ill.  It’s back to this nightmare.  I’m so damaged mentally and physically.  I dread daytime. 

 

Does anyone else have morning struggles?

 

Yes, this kind of pattern is extremely common.  I had it for a long time.  But, eventually things even out and get better.  :smitten:

 

I need to believe that because I’m losing it.  This is just too freaking much.  I need a miracle!

Please!!!!

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Mornings are the worst time of day.  I wake to feeling completely confused and ill.  It’s back to this nightmare.  I’m so damaged mentally and physically.  I dread daytime. 

 

Does anyone else have morning struggles?

 

Yes, this kind of pattern is extremely common.  I had it for a long time.  But, eventually things even out and get better.  :smitten:

 

I need to believe that because I’m losing it.  This is just too freaking much.  I need a miracle!

Please!!!!

Cortosal surges in the morning- it’s what wakes us up. In withdrawl it seems to me like it over surges and  causes all kinds of anxieties and fears. What helps is : Getting up moving around, doing some sort of meditation, reading some inspiring recovery literature or spiritual literature. Those things help. If you have a partner grabbing onto them and getting a hug-Human contact helps

 

Time is the miracle.  It will pass whether we do something worthwhile like get off benzos or whether we continue down the rabbit hole.

– I have an entire cabinet full of miracles. Some of them provide temporary relief - most of them just wasted money.

Currently the miracles I’m choosing to believe in besides time are Campral, NAC, various forms of marijuana which is legal where I live. I also take propanolol as needed – when I get really anxious if I take 10 mg of that I noticed in a couple hours and I’m not as bad.

Sending you hugs :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:

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This is really heartbreaking....  I’m so tired of this.    I just want some calm in my brain.  Let everything just calm down a few notches.    I feel re-traumatized everyday.  Like I’m in a PTSD Loop because nothing ever gets better, no windows, no few minute breaks.  Just don’t know what to do.  Before I was able to get out and distract.  Now I’m too unsteady and frightened by perceptual distortions to go out.  It’s too too much!
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I have the very same as you describe F4M  :crazy:

 

The perceptual stuff, dread, fear, body aching, breathing, sometimes I think I'm brinking on psychosis but I know it is pseudo (now) and created by the drugs. 

 

We will get through this F4M, we will!

 

Rally! 

 

Dee  :smitten:

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As long as I'm in bed I feel OK. Then I get up and it gets horrible. Will admit I slept a full 8 hours last night, woke up, took my melatonin, benzo, and Tylenol pm, and slept 6 more. I've been trying to sleep as much as I can. I hate being awake and feeling like crap. I wish drs could put us in comas for a few months until the worst is over.
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I hear you, mornings are terrible and if I take a nap (which I just did) it feels like morning all over again but almost worse. I am currently having the perception problems too and almost every kind of body and brain symptom imaginable. It sucks but we just need to keep listening to those that say it gets better........my god I pray they are right! Please make it end for all of us and let us  feel joy again! Thoughts go out to you all!
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I hear you, mornings are terrible and if I take a nap (which I just did) it feels like morning all over again but almost worse. I am currently having the perception problems too and almost every kind of body and brain symptom imaginable. It sucks but we just need to keep listening to those that say it gets better........my god I pray they are right! Please make it end for all of us and let us  feel joy again! Thoughts go out to you all!

 

Yup,  know exactly how that feels.  That nap mess is horrible.    I think has only been one time I took a nap and woke up feeling decent.  I thought I was finally past all that,  but nope!    I Pray Every Minute Of Every Day It Gets Better for EVERY SINGLE PERSON!!!  EVERYONE!!!

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That was funny Sicori, yes, induced coma!  :laugh: 

 

And that's a hollow laugh I can assure you.  I refuse to have this take  my humour, it's all I have left between the fear and the tears.

 

Really get the idea of avoiding stress now.  My 83 year old neighbour caught me while sitting outside trying to absorb fresh air and nature with an half hour monologue on the history of the First and Second World wars.  Found myself starting to sweat, warp in and out with my legs starting to tremble and had to escape.  Found it difficult to hold his gaze and thought I would faint.  Still trembling as I write. 

 

It's morning here now and the mornings really are the worst. 😭 

 

We'll get there F4M.  :smitten:  The knowledge that this is drug induced and others feeling same really does help in some diabolitical sorta way.  :)

 

I so hate this and I reckon that when we emerge nothing will ever beat us again.  We WILL emerge! 

 

Dee  :smitten:

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FightingForMe, my mornings are much much worse when I have caffeine or alcohol the afternoon or evening prior. When I do that, I get a nasty “benzo hangover” the next day where I feel absolutely miserable. Anxious. Depressed. Confused. Irritable. Fried. Spaced out. Disconnected.

 

Not sure if this might be an issue with you, but figured I would share it :)

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FightingForMe, my mornings are much much worse when I have caffeine or alcohol the afternoon or evening prior. When I do that, I get a nasty “benzo hangover” the next day where I feel absolutely miserable. Anxious. Depressed. Confused. Irritable. Fried. Spaced out. Disconnected.

 

Not sure if this might be an issue with you, but figured I would share it :)

 

Try to stay away from alcohol during benzo withdrawal, I learned that the hard way. And caffeine too, I learned that the hard way as well.

 

Tbh alcohol withdrawal is so much easier lol if I could stay hammered for the next 6 months and take no benzos I would. But can't do that at my new job. So I just have to stay feeling crazy throughout this proceas  :idiot:

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Alcohol and caffeine were a killer for me in the first 6 months, couldn't have any.  I can have some now, every now and again, but with moderation.  Anymore than nominal amount puts me into acute.
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I seem to be able to tolerate morning coffee at this stage... But afternoon tea or coffee ends up leaving me very over stimulated and I feel like complete crap the next day.

 

Alcohol —  never really liked it much, anyhow! Tried drinking at a friend’s bachelor party a few nights ago and seemed to feel ok the next day. Tried drinking again the next day at the wedding, and noticed it wasn’t going down well at all. The day that followed I felt horrible. Not hangover horrible, but benzo symtom flare horrible.

 

I am also learning that some foods and beverages can really flare symptoms! :( Had a tiny little lime juice fruit drink thing today that sent me into hell!

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[14...]

im at work slacking off right now... lol

not a great day, juuuust 15 min ago snuck in a half cup of coffee and BAAAAM, pang of pain, heartburn? something in my chest and around the same time head rush of weirdness... ugh caffeine just annihilated me :(

unreal that i feel like i need the e.r. after a half cup of coffee.

work still a nightmare

i can deal with most of the physical symptoms now, but the constant fear of some cardiac thing with the roaring 24/7 anxiousness up in my chest is beyond tiresome.

 

ive been extra whiny on the boards here this week, sry.

 

46 year old dude just shot, exhausted and fearful... (overall i am better than a year ago, i just have NO stamina for this anymore)

 

may the gods heal you all, i feel so bad i see so many nice women, single moms, etc going through this here, its just cruel for anyone to feel like this for a day let alone months and years...

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im at work slacking off right now... lol

not a great day, juuuust 15 min ago snuck in a half cup of coffee and BAAAAM, pang of pain, heartburn? something in my chest and around the same time head rush of weirdness... ugh caffeine just annihilated me :(

unreal that i feel like i need the e.r. after a half cup of coffee.

work still a nightmare

i can deal with most of the physical symptoms now, but the constant fear of some cardiac thing with the roaring 24/7 anxiousness up in my chest is beyond tiresome.

 

ive been extra whiny on the boards here this week, sry.

 

46 year old dude just shot, exhausted and fearful... (overall i am better than a year ago, i just have NO stamina for this anymore)

 

may the gods heal you all, i feel so bad i see so many nice women, single moms, etc going through this here, its just cruel for anyone to feel like this for a day let alone months and years...

 

Luke,  you have to be careful what you eat and drink.  The CNS is no joke.  At least you’re able to work.  I would love to be a productive member of society, again.  It’s awful that ANYONE should have to suffer this way.  Even 1 person is 1 too many.  There are even children on this stuff which just is too much to imagine.  Hope you feel better.  No Caffeine, yet.  F4M 

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[14...]

f4me, believe me, work has been horrible, i walked in for over a year, stumbling, shaking, phobic, sick feeling, i dont even know why i endured it now, i guess the fear of losing everything in my life ha

 

i was sometimes able to get away with coffee the last couple months, sometimes...nope :P im usually careful, i dont drink, smoke, hell i dont do anything so sometimes i indulge in alil coffee. that day...ugh...it backfired. in a wave now i guess one could say

 

overall though, the last few weeks have seen some improvements to baseline, the morning horribleness has lessened a bit and work isnt quite the nightmare it was last year.

that was horrible, 2017 at work. soooo many days of feeling like i was dying.

 

isnt this fun??!!!

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Luke

 

I feel so psychologically tortured.  It just never stops.  I can’t imagine having to work.  I couldn’t even drive to get there.  You have truly endured.  Glad you are seeing improvements in your baseline.

Have a nice day.

 

F4M

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  • 2 weeks later...
Mornings used to be so bad for me. I mean so bad. I didn't know who I was I couldn't get out of bed I felt like I had the flu every morning everything hurt it was just awful. And then one day just got better. I hope it doesn't get bad for me again but I'm telling you i used to be there and one day it will get better for you.
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