Back to where I started (depression)

Not sure how to deal with it. Comes in heavy waves of hopelessness. Overpowering. I was numb for a few yrs so I feel like I'm rediscovering my issues before I went through withdrawal. I feel emotionally effected by things. Very hard to deal with. I remember before I took meds I felt this way. Then after discontinuing I went completely numb. Thoughts about suicide, memories, realizations of thing's I missed out on from the past 5 years of suffering. Realizing I lost my friends, family. Facing painful emotions I haven't felt for years. It's like they've decided to come up again. I Feel very vulnerable and hopeless.  Not good

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that, Twentyeight!! You've been through it before and you'll get through it this time. Damned crappy drugs!!

Do you get this too terry? I know you had the numbness also

Sorry you're going through this again. It's good you're able to come onto this board and share. I hope you're able to find support and relief.

Twenty eight am so sorry ❤️

 

Your not alone,am right in that hole sat along side you..

 

Just take it o

Thanks everyone for the replies 

 

It's intense but I'm sure given time I'll feel more settled. It's crazy going three years not feeling anything, then all of a sudden I feel EVERYTHING. it's scary but at the same time it's wonderful because I actually survived benzo withdrawal and came out of it 'me'. The same me I remember way back in 2012 before I took xanax. I'm doing my best to look at it from a healthy perspective. Every now and then pessimism and doubt creeps in but it always leaves and I feel incredibly grateful for the life I still have. If this is it, then I'm going to enjoy it before it's too late. I have so much love in me it's time to use it for good and not fear

Do you get this too terry? I know you had the numbness also

 

I get very depressed, but the terrible anxiety is what's the worst. The numbness is still there but much better.

Hi Twentyeight,

 

How is it going for you ?

 

I am 3.5 mo out and struggling with waves of depression coming out of nowhere. And when I don't get them, I am quite afraid of the next one.

 

Wish you to overcome this hopelessness!

Yes, those emotions can be great deceivers. I've got a history of depression and profound sadness. Since getting off Benzos, (18 mo.) I've felt my emotions become constricted - to where I cannot express them at all. Before that I had become so saddened, I could not recover and ended up in the hospital from and overdose. But for several decades I had this sort of discomfort just below the surface I could not get shed of. I guess I've been highly sensitive since day one and wasn't long before fear just took over and that's what's it's been in one form or another. As I understand it, if those emotions do come to the surface and you can just observe them, they will dissipate - though I cannot attest to that as yet. It is significant that you have gotten so far through the Benzos so to deal effectively with the emotional issues as they arise. Well done!