4 months off Xanax

Finishing 4 months today and would like to write down my symptoms so everyone can give me their thoughts and tell me if this is all normal?

 

Extreme cog fog - I've always been quite quick with thinking yet I can barely form a sentence. I don't feel like talking.. holding a conversation is hard. Writing this is even hard

 

Extreme anxiety, extreme agoraphobia - This is something I struggle with the most as it's always painfully there reminding me of this ordeal. The panic attacks have lessened but it doesn't mean I don't wake up to or experience anxiety through out the day. I experience anxiety probably 6 7 times in a day it will come in waves. i don't experience paranoia as much.

 

On a good day when I feel like going out, the agoraphobia gets so bad that I experience every symptom, twice as hard in that moment. Very, very scary.

 

Exhaustion- why do I feel like I've run a marathon when I haven't even left my bed in 3 4 days? This exhaustion isn't from my body but from my mind. Some days I can barely keep my eyes open.

 

Depression - I finally understand what depression feels like. It is a DARK, empty space that I wouldn't wish on anyone. I barely do anything anymore. I've had two instances where I was suicidal and I am not a suicidal person.  Thankfully I haven't felt like this since month 3.

 

Crying spells - this was at its peak a month ago but can still get pretty bad - I feel somewhat relief afterwards though. so might be a good thing? Though I'm quite emotional all the time. I've always been empathetic but never to this extreme. The tears can fall with the right commercial. 

 

Dizziness - this has also lessened but does reappear if I'm tired/eaten something funny.

 

Heart palpitations - this has lessened but will come up 1-2 times a week

 

I experienced some physical symptoms when I was tapering to month 2 but thankfully those have disappeared. Tinnitus, migraines, burning scalp, numbness in my face and arms, jaw pain gone! I still do get night sweats and hot flashes. 

 

So as you can see, it feels like my worst month so far, so my question is, is this normal? Do we get worse before it gets better? I sure hope so. I miss my identity, my personality.  I miss myself so much.

 

Also, I had some marzipan chocolates that were filled with alcohol - the dr/dp, weakness got really bad, experienced very weird symptoms but it thankfully passed.

 

Thank you for reading - BB has saved me countless times and I will forever be grateful to you all

Unfortunately it all sounds normal for benzo w/d. Glad you have dropped some sxs. That's progress.

 

Hang in there.

Hang in there buddy! We are strong and we’ll heal too and regain our normal life back. Like everyone says  TIME IS THE HEALER.

Agree with Ryano467, the symptoms you are experiencing are on the list of normal benzo withdrawal symptoms!

Hope and pray that more of your symptoms will be lifted soon.

 

Blessings!

Pi

Congrats on completing 4 months rickatu!  Keep going, rooting for you!

COMPLETELY normal. I’ve had/have everything you listed. Great job getting to month 4. The fact that something’s have lessened or gone away is proof that you are healing and will completely heal. Hang in there.

totaly normal.

 

I was worst in my month 4...

Thank you for the reassurance guys! It's really been a rollercoaster, I just hope the next few months are easier on my body and mind. Wishing you all healing 

Me too! Month 4 was horrific and I recognize everything you mentioned. I have fewer horrible days now.

Congrats on 4 months off! You mentioned jaw pain which made realize I experienced bruxism (jaw clenching/teeth grinding) while tapering. Totally forgot about it! I remember doing it at night, for some reason. It only happens now as a stress response when I'm annoyed, lol. Don't think it has anything to do with withdrawal any longer.

Yay! Four months!

What a great post!  Congratulations on being free!  I too, have experienced almost he same symptoms as you.  I’ve been free since November, and I can say that the experience has been terrifying, confusing, and all around frustrating.  I am a guitar player, yet since I’ve been off, and my brain is healing, I found that I can’t sit still to practice, let alone remember how to play.  My mind has been all over the place.  I started with horrific thoughts of gloom and doom, to worry, panic, and insurmountable fear.  I thought I was losing my mind.  I’m now entering my fourth month free, and I must say that it’s getting better.  My mind is still all over the place but not as intense and I feel like I have s little more control of my thoughts than I did weeks ago.  I’m not out if the woods yet, but I’m getting there!  You guys have saved my life!

Congrats Rickatu Don’t give up. You’ll have your life back. Takes time and patience.