8 months down

I wish my progress continued from month 7, but it didn’t go that way unfortunately. It even seems like my symptoms changed. The anxiety seemed to subside, but at times I feel almost brain dead...really odd feeling. My waves seem to go from pretty decent (not debilitating) anxiety, to depression (again, not black depression like before) to rage/anger, to brain dead/no emotions, to just this sick flu like feeling as if my body might just shut down...usually a 3-4 day cycle. Then maybe/hopefully a window of some sort. I just never seem to be able to think clearly or completely relax.

 

My worst symptom maybe my constant worry that because of my concussions and type one diabetes (fluctuating blood sugars) I will not heal.

 

In month 7, I literally had moments where I wouldn’t think about WD, like I was certain I was healing and maybe the worst was behind me. Unfortunately this wasn’t the case. I’ve heard many have had a similar experience.

 

I’m am however still able to workout, and I am more social at work too. It's just this constant disconnected feeling I have.. like something is just not right.  Very difficult to explain, but I'm sure many of you have experienced the same feeling. 

 

I’m not on here as much because of work, and sometimes it’s too much. But on days I’m feeling horrible I find I’m on here a lot. Again, I’m very thankful for many of you who check in on me and offer me some assurance and share your wisdom a bit.

 

Thanks again, on to month 9.

Sounds like we are feeling very similar. Had some good days but the flu like cycles make me feel like I’m dying. Hang in there man.

Sounds like we are feeling very similar. Had some good days but the flu like cycles make me feel like I’m dying. Hang in there man.

 

Seriously, legit feels like my body is shutting down and I’m going to collapse.

Dear T1D,

 

Congratulations on hitting the 8-month-off mark! Here I am right there with you.

 

I'm sorry you don't feel like there has been much improvement. But you have seen improvement in month 7 - those "windows" of not thinking about WD are a sign of healing. Keep believing in them even if you don't think you've seen them in a while. They will come back, and stronger. Just like you never thought they would in the first place.

 

Your worries seem to be typical of benzo-wd. I too worry that because I was on so many drugs ... blahblahblah. You read about such worries in just about every success story. Your story isn't fully written just yet, but you are well into it. So please hang in there!!

 

Well done for being able to work...!!! Hopefully it helps take your mind off things, even for a split second at a time... it can't be easy though. So really really well done.

 

It still is a case of surviving all this nonsense until it gets easier. And it will. Month 8 is done, onto month 9 now. And every day is another day of healing and walking away from all of this. You've got this.

 

Keep taking good care of yourself!!

 

Hugs,

Julz

Congrats T1D on completing 8 months!  It's great that you're able to work out, keep at it, it's important.  The fatigue and the feeling like you're going to collapse will wax and wane, I had that yesterday all afternoon, today is much better.  Good job and wishing you continued recovery!

Thanks Ginger!

T1D,

Congratulations on your 8 month mark! It is great that you are able to workout. I also have to push myself to go the gym and workout; it also helped for my socializing and be with people.  I admire you for being able to work. Hang in there buddy and wishing you more improvements soon!

 

Sending you lots of hugs,

Pi

Congrats on getting through 8 months!  I’m right there with you. Just a few days into month 9.

 

Yep. Yep. And yep. I’m in a similar pattern. I was feeling like I was going forward in December (month 7) but I crashed in month 8. My symptoms have changed so much and they cycle rapidly. Everything changes day to day, week to week. It scares me. And I too often feel like I won’t heal.

 

There have been some improvements. But ever so slowly.

 

Here’s to a month 9 with lots of healing and forward progress.

 

McS

Day by day TD we are getting through, healing and getting back to our lives. Keep up the great work, battling through the waves and feeling all the hope when reliefs comes. This finish line is ours and we’ll all get there together at some point.

Congrats on getting through 8 months!  I’m right there with you. Just a few days into month 9.

 

Yep. Yep. And yep. I’m in a similar pattern. I was feeling like I was going forward in December (month 7) but I crashed in month 8. My symptoms have changed so much and they cycle rapidly. Everything changes day to day, week to week. It scares me. And I too often feel like I won’t heal.

 

There have been some improvements. But ever so slowly.

 

Here’s to a month 9 with lots of healing and forward progress.

 

McS

 

How are you doing now? I feel like I’m back to square 1.

Hey T1d just to let you know you’re not alone, I feel like I’m back at square 1 too. Had some OK days here and there but overall just not seeing the progress. Don’t know what to make of all this. I def need some wind in my sails to keep pressing on.

The up and down journey of this entire mess is brutal Ryano.

Congrats on getting through 8 months!  I’m right there with you. Just a few days into month 9.

 

Yep. Yep. And yep. I’m in a similar pattern. I was feeling like I was going forward in December (month 7) but I crashed in month 8. My symptoms have changed so much and they cycle rapidly. Everything changes day to day, week to week. It scares me. And I too often feel like I won’t heal.

 

There have been some improvements. But ever so slowly.

 

Here’s to a month 9 with lots of healing and forward progress.

 

McS

 

How are you doing now? I feel like I’m back to square 1.

 

How long have you been feeling this way, T1D? Is it both physical and mental?

You've seen healing already so keep telling yourself that this wave is going you the impression of square 1... after a wave, it will be time for a window and an improvement in your baseline... hang in there!!

 

Julz xx

Overall I'm better than I was a few months ago but it's painfully slow. It sort of seems like I'm good one day and bad the next.

 

I think I'm in a wave. Over the last week the tinnitus has been up and down and I've had some new symptoms hit really hard. Head pressure, ear pressure, weird woozy, heavy headed feeling. Anxiety is up and fear that this will never end.

 

I'm really struggling with being in the doldrums. I just feel like there's no forward progress. And then it's devastating to feel a little better and get slammed back down. Julz, you are so right!  Now that I know what it's like to feel better, it's harder to feel worse.

 

I think we are all sort of in the same boat. I was only on Klonopin for five months so the timeframe for healing is so hard to understand.

 

We'll get there. We'll heal and write our success stories some day. It just going to take time.

 

Mcs

Overall I'm better than I was a few months ago but it's painfully slow. It sort of seems like I'm good one day and bad the next.

 

I think I'm in a wave. Over the last week the tinnitus has been up and down and I've had some new symptoms hit really hard. Head pressure, ear pressure, weird woozy, heavy headed feeling. Anxiety is up and fear that this will never end.

 

I'm really struggling with being in the doldrums. I just feel like there's no forward progress. And then it's devastating to feel a little better and get slammed back down. Julz, you are so right!  Now that I know what it's like to feel better, it's harder to feel worse.

 

I think we are all sort of in the same boat. I was only on Klonopin for five months so the timeframe for healing is so hard to understand.

 

We'll get there. We'll heal and write our success stories some day. It just going to take time.

 

Mcs

 

After having felt a tiny tiny tiny bit better, and now back feeling just "awful" mentally, I have trouble believing I ever felt better and tell myself the moment was just objectively much more enjoyable, hence feeling a bit cheerier and relaxed. I don't know why that is. Perhaps preservation? Our brains are going through such hell, trying to make sense of what is happening, gearing us up for survival in withdrawal, as if those symptoms are permanent...?

 

I'm sorry you too are suffering so much after having only been on that wretched drug for 5 months... I've been on it for 13 years... there is no logic... but what we all have in common is that we all heal.

 

...definitely in the same boat!!  :D

 

Hugs 

Julz xx

Oh for sure, Julz. I feel better, or my tinnitus goes down one day and the next day it's back to horrible  and I find myself wondering if I just imagined it. It's devastating. Yesterday was a good day for me, tinnitus was lower, anxiety much less and today it was all back (and then some).  Did yesterday even happen? And the good days are so few and far between.

 

Hell is putting it mildly 

 

I know we will heal in time, it's just putting in the time. It sure helps to hear from other buddies in the same time frame going through the same thing.

 

McS