Short Term User Support Group

So I am starting this support group for those of us who were unlucky enough to only have used benzos a short period of time, yet still got hit with an all out withdrawal syndrome.  Of course anybody is welcome, but I would say short term would mean less than 3 months maybe six at the most, but as I said it would be cool to here from long term users on here too. 

 

It’s tough as a short term user to have as much credibility on here, at least at first during those first few months of Withdrawal.  Everyone tells you you’ll be fine, you only used for x amount of days.  It’s also a little bit harder for us to explain this to loved ones or Doctors being we were on it for such a short duration....as if it isn’t already hard enough to explain this to people.  So this group is for us, and I know there are a solid group of us out there.  I hope to here from everyone.

 

Welcome to the Short Term Users Support Group

Thanks for creating this. Quit alcohol and was given Ativan to help with "underlying issues" from my drinking. Had to find out for myself how bad benzos can be and after a month on Ativan and my life is sheer hell. No offense, but I really hope you're trolling about symptoms 25 months out. I honestly don't know if I can make it that long. Any tips?

 

No problem on creating the group, I hope we get some people on here. Ive always been interested to see all the short term users on here, I hope we get some people to join. And no offense taken.

 

So my story is that I was on Ativan for 9 days for anxiety over a health scare.  I started feeling weird while on it and having some really weird moments and because of this along with my predisposed vulnerability to addiction and knowing its something I shouldn't be messing with, I just quit, not expecting any negative effects.  I was so wrong, went into a hellish acute, had most of the symptoms especially dp/dr, constant panic attacks, akathasia, neuropathy, pain, metallic mouth, instrusive thoughts, dementia feeling, crippling tinnitus and hyperacuais and visual disturbances, to name a few.  It took me 3-4 months to pretty much heal and become functional but I was left with persistant tinnitus, visual disturbance and hyperacusis all of which I am still plagued with at 25 months.  However, I have felt normal during windows besides the afformentioned 24/7 symptoms which have fluctuated but never given me a full window.  I have hit acute like waves along the way which last give or take a month, with the worst symptom being dp/dr which is the scariest symptom of all in my opinion, and have also had some newly surfaced breathing issues which come and go.  So, Im not trolling haha.  I am actually just coming out of an awful wave of this stuff (dp/dr and other acute symptoms) which has ramped up my activity on the forum.  Believe it or not though I am positive about the future and healing, at least for now, cause that can change on a dime, and have learned to cope with waves better and not get so terrified because I know from experience that they pass.  I really just want my ears and eyes to heal.  Im confident everything else will as the other symptoms have gone away before. 

 

Tips-you will learn to cope with this.  But, mindfulness and meditation or spiritual readings have helped me to get over the fear which is the worst part. Don't feed into the negative and scary thoughts of the future and what will happen, I know this is impossible but avoid it the best you can.  You're mind will without a doubt try and play tricks on you, try not to let it.  Find success stories you connect with and reread them.  This has helped me alot.  Try to live life when and if you can.  Get out and do stuff, even in dp/dr i do this and it helps me connect with life.  This f'n sucks but we will get through it and be better and wiser for it.  We have to go through what we go through, accepatance is key.  And those are all my cliche's for the day.

 

Hi,

 

I took xanax and different AD during 4-5 months between january and june last year. Very ill since, both physically and mentally. I'm doing investigations about lyme and other diseases. My main mistake is to have left the meds with a CT. I wasnt aware.

Most debilitating symptoms are : anxiety, confusion, muscle lightness, violence, intolerence to people, weakness and so On...

i only used valium for around 4 months then tapered for another month or so ,it has been a living hell and i was housebound for 9 weeks , during the first 3 months ,still suffering now at 7 1/2 months with muscle and back problems but nowhere near what it was like couple of months ago ,i am getting better but its slow but got to stay positive  :thumbsup:

Hi group!

 

Thanks RobK for starting the group! I am also a short term user, as you can read in my signature. My biggest symptoms have been insomnia, which has been the most debilitating, high GAD type anxiety, and weight loss coupled with low appetite and fatigue.  I am about 8 weeks out from my jump off Atavan, and things ARE getting better PTL! Sleep is improving. I noticed a lessening of the anxiety symptoms a few weeks ago, but they seem to be back with a vengeance. I find myself getting anxious during the day, and have to ask myself what is so darn scary! I just have to believe that it is the healing process from this short term brain injury, and move on. It is not fun having to slow down, not make big commitments, stay on a strict eating and rest schedule, and try to explain to my family how I feel. It's tough dealing with this #@crap! I have to say it's one of the most challenging experiences of my entire life. And yet, everyday I find positives.

 

Sorry the above is stream of consciousness. Thanks for wading through. 

 

Tigereye

 

 

 

 

I am also a short time user. Took klonopin for about 3 months at 0.25 mg the tapered to 0.125 mg for two weeks then jumped off. I am 13 days since I took it and feeling horrible. Don’t know rather to re instate or keep pushing. Hoping this forum can help me out.

Dear tsouthrn,

 

I was alerted to your recent post in my email. To date it's been more than 3 years since I wrote my post. Thankfully for me, I am healed. The debilitating anxiety has left, though I need to be careful not to take things or myself too seriously. Weight came back, and I eat normally now, which is and always has been a careful diet. I exercise and am active, and have put the past in the past.

I would not give anyone advice about how they should proceed, but I know for myself my choices to stay off all psychotropic drugs (and alcohol, btw) have served me well.

Some other things I did to heal were: regular exercise, use homeopathic remedies if sick, RCP (The Root Cause Protocol), and EFT with a practitioner. Give time time. Use acceptance, and live life to the fullest you can, everyday.

 

With sincere gratitude, Tigereye

Putting some life into this thread.

Praise the Gods/Goddesses! I slept a solid 4 hours last night with no nightmares or intrusive/random/over-the-top-wth-is-happening thinking. I tried going back to sleep a few hours later... Guess what? Yep, brain wouldn't shush. 

Benzo flu is still on but more manageable. Chemical anxiety is real this morning and my head goes in and out of throbbing phases. I'm going to be alone with my daughter today (she's 5) and I'm so stressed - everything is revving. Now, I ABSOLUTELY adore my little goblin but she doesn't understand what's happening with mommy and I can't tell her why I can't play with her or when I'll be okay to do so - she doesn't deserve that burden or to know about the bad stuff. I want her to be a kid for as long as she can. I can't stand looking in her eyes and knowing I'm disappointing her with my constant "Sorry babe, not right now. Maybe later, ok?". Some days are just too hard to bare. I wish she didn't have to see me like this.  :'(

 

Ok so now that's the crappy stuff is let out.. I'd like for us to share some distraction tips, routines, coping mechanisms and/or anything that will bring us hope! Right now, I'm at a loss as to how to cope with my inner demons so I need tips!!!

I know we will be okay. We have to be. Right??

 

Andie, xx

 

I was on Klonopin for 5.8 months (4.27-10.19 of 2019). 17 months out I am much better but not 100 percent. Have been able to work. I really connected with the sentiment:

 

"It’s tough as a short term user to have as much credibility on here, at least at first during those first few months of Withdrawal.  Everyone tells you you’ll be fine, you only used for x amount of days.  It’s also a little bit harder for us to explain this to loved ones or Doctors being we were on it for such a short duration....as if it isn’t already hard enough to explain this to people.  So this group is for us, and I know there are a solid group of us out there.  I hope to here from everyone.

 

Thanks for starting this thread, I don't really consider 5 months short term - after the hell I have experienced. It's something Thanks again.

 

KB

4 months K use here, 3 weeks off CT.  Had worst 24 hours ever last night.  Need help please!

4 months K use here, 3 weeks off CT.  Had worst 24 hours ever last night.  Need help please!

 

Breathe, Accidental. You got this. Can you describe your night? The first two weeks after I went CT were actually fine then acute hit me like a ton of bricks x10. I didn't have too many symptoms but the ones I had were horrid. I'm back in an acute phase - I know how badly your mind and body must be feeling.

 

Andie, xx

Hey Warrior.  It can be really hard when our loved ones dont or cant understand what we are going through.  I’ve used the sorry babe quote many many times.  Having to say ‘no, not now’ is distressing probably more for us than it is for them.  At 82 my father still apologies for ‘not being there’ but I dont even remember those times as being bad or different from the norm.

 

Distraction tips: I still work.  I dont know how I do it but I do it.  Even revved up I am on those zoom calls.  Somehow participating in a conversation helps me.  I also have a lot of projects going: baking bread, pies, cupcakes, walking all those calories off, lol.  I also read a lot - only short stuff as my brain cant yet handle books or long stories.  I cant even comprehend long posts on here.  The intrusive thoughts and nightmares are still there but I have learned to ignore them for the most part.  I literally say, ‘oh hello there thought nice to see you back now go away.’  It doesnt always help, lol.  For my morning surges I use a weighted blanket.  It seems to delay the surge a bit and buy me another hour of sleep.

 

I had another window last night - two nights in a row now and the surge isnt as bad this morning.  It may actually turn out to be a good day.  Healing is happening.

Extreme anxiety (generalized), racing heart, insomnia, muscle shakiness and weakness, dizziness.  Had one hour sleep and a panic attack the rest of the night.  Usually panic episodes last only an half hour.  Had a few good days and nights before this.

 

I've had all these before but never as bad and never all at once.  I feel like my body and mind are deteriorating.

 

I would jam K in my mouth if I knew it would take the pain away.  CT was such a mistake, I need a way out of this, how am I supposed to do this for months?!

Sounds like you are going into Acute Accidentaldependant.  This happened to me in October of last year and after 2 ED visits I reinstated, stabilized and tapered.  It made all the difference for me as I was able to function on a basic level.

I’m so glad to see the “Shorties” banding together.  I mentioned on one of flutternutter’s posts that I had one of my best and longest windows yet last week.  That’s the positive.  Unfortunately I’m back in what is more of a low grade wave again.  Managed 5 hours of sleep last night but the anxiety that came back yesterday is still with me this morning and amplified.  Tight band across mid back and all my muscles feel tight and sore.  Some air hunger too and other annoying sxs, yada yada.  I must be real and admit this is not nearly my worst and it’s manageable.  Hopefully it passes soon and that beautiful window comes back. 

 

Warrior, I just want to add that you are not alone in the mom guilt/stress.  I’m at home with our little one who is 3.  This experience has tested me in ways I didn’t think possible, and I understand completely how you are feeling while trying to parent a small child (I also have a teenager but she fully gets what is going on).

 

JBen, I’m so glad you are having a good day!  I also think conversations have been extremely healing for me, even if I feel crappy and forcing myself, there’s something grounding about being able to participate in a dialectical act.  Sometimes the cog fog sweeps back in and makes me lose my footing, but I know I am healing even in that department. 

 

Accidentaldependent, I agree it sounds like still acute and I am so sorry.  I know that I held on for dear life in the beginning but things did eventually start to ease up.  If you can distract with anything, do it.  Do you have support in form of family or friends?  I would move from one thing to the next.  My teenage daughter had a simple gem craft kit that I sat at table to work on, then had to walk around the house and pace a little, then I’d sit down again and try to sort some more gems. Puzzles were too stimulating for me so simple sorting was better.  Getting outside, even just to walk to mailbox, anything to keep me moving.  Again, I’m sorry you are hurting right now and it’s not easy to keep going, but we just do. 

 

I am past acute but still need distracting when things amp up.  The things that have worked best for me are the distractions of light workouts, walks, hikes and putzing around outside (really anything outdoors is what I find most helpful).  And now that I can function away from home (the early days were filled with agoraphobia and off the chart panic), I will jump at opportunities to get out of house.  Sometimes we just go for a drive.  I know some buddies are still not able to leave home, so I’m very thankful that I’m this far already. I think because I am housebound during a pandemic with a little one, the anything other than here at home thing is a welcomed change.  When I’m in a good window, I’m back to my multitasking fool self and loving it.  Those windows need to happen much more often. 

 

I’m sending healing vibes to you all! 

Jben: I totally agree. It hurts me more to say no to her than for her to hear it... what 5 year old never hears no? I managed to build her a fort in my bedroom while I relax, made her some lunch and even mustered up about 10 seconds of funny dancing.

I also use a weighted blanket. In fact, I can barely sleep or do deep breathing exercises without it. I also use a magic bag - you know the ones you heat up in the microwave - as a weight for my legs when I'm in the car or sitting on the couch. It helps tremendously. I don't work unfortunately but if I could..... boy I would! Hehe.

 

Sunshine: This experience has taught me so many things I never understood. It's a blessing in disguise. I really hope you have another window soon. Do you have any tips for me for when the fatigue hits too much? I try not to lose patience but I get annoyed by someone breathing sometimes. It's tough.

 

Accidentaldependent: It definitely sounds like you are in the acute phase. Please hold on and take it one second at a time. You will survive this.

2 weeks on Xanax and my brain got hooked!! It’s crazy! If only I had known I would have never done it!! Anyways I ended up on it a bit longer trying to taper then found a psychiatrist to taper with. Put me on klonopin instead and taper off that. Took my last dose last night, hope I can handle what the coming weeks will bring

2 weeks on Xanax and my brain got hooked!! It’s crazy! If only I had known I would have never done it!! Anyways I ended up on it a bit longer trying to taper then found a psychiatrist to taper with. Put me on klonopin instead and taper off that. Took my last dose last night, hope I can handle what the coming weeks will bring

 

The unknown is scary but I am certain you WILL make it through. Healing isn't linear and different for everyone. Keep us updated and stay strong.

 

Andie, xx

Hi guys, it's so great to see you all here! 3 months xanax, starting with twice a week for sleep. That gave me interdose withdrawal, didn't know what that was, so kept taking more xanax to treat the panic attacks. Figured it out on my own, quit CT, wish I had tapered. Now suffering immensely still at 6.6 months and praying for a break soon.

 

First 3.5 month were nearly unbearable. Almost reinstated. Then gradual lessening but still very intense. Now much better than those early months but still somehow nearly intolerable. Can't work, can't do things with my hands but can watch TV, walk and distract myself on BB.

 

Accidentaldependant, you are only 3 weeks out. Consider reinstating and doing a slow taper - I wish I had. Otherwise, it could be quite a ride...

 

Praying for a miracle

Jben: I totally agree. It hurts me more to say no to her than for her to hear it... what 5 year old never hears no? I managed to build her a fort in my bedroom while I relax, made her some lunch and even mustered up about 10 seconds of funny dancing.

I also use a weighted blanket. In fact, I can barely sleep or do deep breathing exercises without it. I also use a magic bag - you know the ones you heat up in the microwave - as a weight for my legs when I'm in the car or sitting on the couch. It helps tremendously. I don't work unfortunately but if I could..... boy I would! Hehe.

 

Sunshine: This experience has taught me so many things I never understood. It's a blessing in disguise. I really hope you have another window soon. Do you have any tips for me for when the fatigue hits too much? I try not to lose patience but I get annoyed by someone breathing sometimes. It's tough.

 

Accidentaldependent: It definitely sounds like you are in the acute phase. Please hold on and take it one second at a time. You will survive this.

 

Warrior, I really do not have tips for fatigue because the tips I have tried to use are sometimes not applicable with a 3 year old running around.  Even before withdrawal I was generally fatigued and not getting great sleep due to our little getting up so much in the middle of the night (and I was a night owl to boot who relished that alone time--boy do I miss those late evenings).  I do my best now though to get to bed at a decent time, and now that I can sleep again, there is no anxiety about going to bed--in fact it's my favorite part of the day).  I have not been able to nap either even though I lay down with my little one for her nap.  I've tried a handful of times and it was always that toxic sleep.  However,  I did try again last weekend when I had a random one night return of no sleep (this was AWFUL and sent me back to the days of acute for the night), and I was able to doze off during her nap without that toxic feeling so I'm hoping that is a move in the right direction.  I'm also waiting to break the 5-6 hour stretch of sleep.  For the most part I am able to go back to sleep, but I just can't seem to get back to a 7-8 hour stretch.

 

Also, I have been able to do light workouts again which has made a huge difference in my quality of sleep again (and a boost to my "I really am healing" morale).  If I push too hard though it can trigger sxs, so this is still a work in progress. 

 

As for the loss of patience, your annoyance at even someone breathing made me laugh because boy can I relate.  I know things are improving but I still have moments where my fuse is so so short.  Things that I normally would not bat an eye at can send me reeling now.  It's a sensory thing too because if it involves sound, it is even worse.  Again, having a preschooler and a teenager can be emotionally and physically draining on anyone, but during withdrawal is indeed something next level. 

 

Sending hugs of support.  We need all we can get! 

Hi guys, it's so great to see you all here! 3 months xanax, starting with twice a week for sleep. That gave me interdose withdrawal, didn't know what that was, so kept taking more xanax to treat the panic attacks. Figured it out on my own, quit CT, wish I had tapered. Now suffering immensely still at 6.6 months and praying for a break soon.

 

First 3.5 month were nearly unbearable. Almost reinstated. Then gradual lessening but still very intense. Now much better than those early months but still somehow nearly intolerable. Can't work, can't do things with my hands but can watch TV, walk and distract myself on BB.

 

Accidentaldependant, you are only 3 weeks out. Consider reinstating and doing a slow taper - I wish I had. Otherwise, it could be quite a ride...

 

Praying for a miracle

 

Glad you made it over, flutternutter!  Sending hugs tonight and hoping you are getting a little respite from the severity.  Another day of healing in the books...

Another night window for me! Gosh the days are hard, but the evening windows coming back have given me so much hope. Now, that doesn't mean I won't be back crying in the morning! 

Didn't even know this Short term group existed. Would be great to have Short Term user at the higher level.

 

Anyway, been up and down the past six weeks after jumping. But mostly positive in April. Hope everyone is doing ok.

 

Here's my journey of jumping.

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=253253.0