Been Sleeping I Guess But Last Night was BAD

Past Nights I may have been sleeping, hard to tell, mostly light sleep I assume, last night cough and hacking and stuffy nose came back, until last night for like 5-6 days I wasnt taking nothing for sleep, needed nyquil last night but didn't help much, bad sleep from 3-6am them maybe a small nap from 9-12pm, just a mess!

Mark,

 

What you are experiencing is very "normal" withdrawal.  It is very up and down.  You will have some "good" nights and other nights your sleep will be poor.  It is the windows/waves recovery process that most BB go through.  The fact that you went for 5-6 days without taking anything and still got some sleep is awesome.  You are making progress. Hold onto that thought we you get down or feel like you are going backwards.  Recovery isn't easy, nor fun, but it will make you a stronger person in the end. It is also very messy.  It's amazing that doctors still prescribe these drugs and then do not acknowledge Benzo withdrawal.  You'll get there Mark.  Hang in there and try not to worry so much (if possible) about sleep.  I said this before and I say it again, your body will get what it needs to function.  Your brain WILL learn how to sleep on its own again, but it just takes lots of time!

yeah thanks just the quality no mater what I get still is TErrible, every day I get up and wanna stay in bed longer cause the quality is awful!

I would also suggest sticking to a routine where you try to go to bed at the same time at night and get out at around the same time in the morning, even if you don't sleep well or don't sleep at all.  It has been proven that your body and mind will associate being in bed with being awake if you stay in bed too long.  You need to convince your fragile benzo damaged brain that when you are in bed it is time to sleep.  If you can't sleep, you should rest.  You can live on no sleep, but your body still needs rest.  Maybe look at what MTFan does to get through the night when she can't sleep.  It is a good routine that might work for you too?  I found that going to bed around the same time (within 30 minutes to an hour) helped.  Also, taking a hot shower before trying to sleep helped me too.  Your body temperature actually drops just before and during sleep, so raising your body temperature with a hot shower or bath could help.  Further, you could try some essential oils for sleep in a diffuser in the room you sleep in and rub some essential oil for sleep on your wrists and neck before going to bed.  That helped me some in the past.

 

I am not sure about "quality" of sleep making much of a difference at this point in your recovery? You won't have good quality sleep for awhile yet.  And when you do start to sleep better, it will be lots of REM sleep.  Your brain will take what it can get to heal and recover and it seems to take mostly REM sleep at first over deep sleep.  Light sleep, broken sleep or restless sleep is all better than no sleep.  It will come back, but it seems like it never will and unfortunately it is always on its own timeline, not ours.

 

And you could turn a corner at anytime.  I got a bunch of extended zero nights (3-4 days in a row) right before I started getting some decent sleep almost every night.  Other people on this site thought I was close to turning a corner, I did not believe it could happen for me or would, but it did.  I have been sleeping good most nights now for almost 10 months in a row!  You'll get there Mark.  I promise you will!

Well last night was a bitch again, Maybe slept 4:30-9:30am if that, I been having arm aches, back aches, headaches getting up, heck I tell you what I may be tired staying awake but whenever I do sleep I feel 100 times WORSE then just staying up! My Right arm and back for sure ache pretty bad

Well last night was a bitch again, Maybe slept 4:30-9:30am if that, I been having arm aches, back aches, headaches getting up, heck I tell you what I may be tired staying awake but whenever I do sleep I feel 100 times WORSE then just staying up! My Right arm and back for sure ache pretty bad

 

Mark, yeah, withdrawal is a BEAST.  5 hours of sleep is GREAT!  All the aches and pains are NORMAL.  They are ALL withdrawal related.  Remember your CNS is totally messed up and out of whack.  That's why you get these "phantom" pains.  They are real to you, but not "real to your body" in the sense that there is nothing physically wrong with you that is responsible for the pain.  It's normal to feel worse after you sleep at first.  I know that my anxiety ramped up a lot after I slept well and was sorta held at bay when I didn't sleep.  It will all fade and go away.  Stay positive and never take another Rx drug to help you do anything, especially sleep.  You'll get there. 

I have psoriatic arthritis so nighttime body aches are pretty common for me. Sometimes a long lasting NSAID such as Aleve can help.

Its been about a Month and like 10 days since I last took ativan, how long does actue usually last?

I think that if you research it you will find that 30-90 days is common, but everyone is different. It is not uncommon to then enter into a protracted phase where you still have some symptoms at a varying degree and this could last some time. Healing is very gradual, but it does occur.

Its been about a Month and like 10 days since I last took ativan, how long does actue usually last?

 

Mark,

 

I will echo what Aloha already said.  Acute is a BEAR, but things don't simply end once Acute WD is over.  They just lessen in severity.  So please don't put a time frame on your recovery and say "what the heck" it has been 90 days and I still feel like crap and sleep like crap.  After acute WD is "over," most people still experience most of their symptoms, but they slowly (and for some, very slowly) start to fade.  Then most go through periods of Windows and Waves, but you already know that.  That period of Windows and waves can last anywhere from 6 months to 4 years for most!  Hopefully your timeline will be somewhere between 12-24 months?  But even though you are going through the Windows and Waves, life starts to get so much better and so much more like "normal" as the Windows gradually overtake the Waves until you get mostly Windows.  During the Windows you feel great and life is good!  After that point, people mostly or completely recover and get their life back to the way it was before Benzos.  You will too!  Hang in there and keep fighting!  It can only get better over time.

yeah I keep hoping for sure, took a half a dose of cough suppressing nyquil last night, seems every night I have had a bad cough, hacking, hard time swallowing laying down, more reasons I dont sleep well, I guess I slept between 3am to 12pm but I woke up at least 4 times during all that, 2 of the times I know I was up at least a half hour or more before I maybe dosed back off, just a mess! I went to the Dr's many times to find the cause of the coughing and hacking, its not allergy's, not much allergys in winter in Michigan and Im not allergic to foods or the animals.....I definatly DON'T smoke yet I was around it alot from my parents who still do smoke but I try to avoid it, I was around alot of mold in out basement from 2012-2014 in that area when we had bad basement flooding so have no clue if stuff came from that or not

Mark,

It is possible that your nighttime coughing could be a reaction to acid reflux. I sleep with a GERD pillow now and it really helps with some nighttime discomfort.

 

could be, I cough during the day too as well but of course its worse trying to sleep

Another bad night, was in bed forever, didnt pass out maybe till after 6am till 11am if that, felt like very light sleep too...Its odd how even though I was sleeping poor I was sleeping without issues 5 nihts in a row now yet being off a month and half or so Im still having these puke nights! My back and arm aches dont help me either!

 

I think I woke up at least once in that so I assume maybe I slept 3 to 3 1/2 hours if that total, couse I get up and feels like i was up the whole time

Mark,

I have had countless nights like that (and still do to some extent) so I know how bad you feel, but you are getting through it and will be okay in the end.

so have you been taking a benzo intermittently?  one of your posts on jan 18th said you last took an ativan 10 days ago - things are not going to get better if you are taking occasional doses.  you've indicated you aren't working so i would just stop ruminating over the lack of sleep - if you aren't leaving the house-  and not driving - it doesnt really matter - you need to stop all the meds and let your brain heal.  its going to be a long and difficult process but i can say after many months of being off- i get decent sleep.  insomnia was the reason i had been on z drugs and intermittent ativan use.  the brain will learn to sleep again but not if you keep exposing it to the meds... each time you do - you reset the clock

Another bad night, was in bed forever, didnt pass out maybe till after 6am till 11am if that, felt like very light sleep too...Its odd how even though I was sleeping poor I was sleeping without issues 5 nihts in a row now yet being off a month and half or so Im still having these puke nights! My back and arm aches dont help me either!

 

I think I woke up at least once in that so I assume maybe I slept 3 to 3 1/2 hours if that total, couse I get up and feels like i was up the whole time

 

Mark, yeah the bad nights are to be expected early on in your WD.  I am almost 18 months off and I still wake up 3-4 times per night most nights and sometimes way more.  I usually fall back to sleep fairly quickly, but sometimes I don't and I am awake for an hour or two usually between the hours of 2-4 am and about once or twice per month I wake up and don't fall back asleep somewhere between 2 and 4 am.  So in light of how long you were on 1mg of Ativan and the fact that you started Ativan again for 2+ months and then did another cold turkey, you are doing pretty well!  I don't know what else to tell you, but maybe stop posting how crappy your sleep is.  It only reinforces how lousy your life is right now.  It is only temporary.  It WILL get better but catastrophizing about sleep WILL NOT help you recover. 

 

Think of it this way.  You have X number of nights/days of crappy sleep ahead of you pretty much no matter what.  I don't know what X is, but lets say for this comparison it is 250? So you can either ACCEPT that fact and try to be as positive as you can while you get through the next 250 nights, or you can do what you are doing now and worry a lot about sleep and how you feel even when you do sleep.  Either way the number of lousy sleep nights (250 again just a number I picked randomly, it could be less or even more) is going to be the same until you start to recover.  Then your nights will slowly get better.  My sleep isn't perfect, but it is to the point that I live like I used to before this whole benzo ordeal started.  Mark, I wish I had a magic wand and I could wave it over you and make you see that this is only TEMPORARY and you need to fight to get your life back.  Mind over matter.  There is research that suggests that thinking positive thoughts and constantly telling yourself you are healed and well, will actually help you in the long run.  At least cope better with the lack of sleep.

 

You will heal, you will get better.  It just takes way more time than we would all like it to.

so have you been taking a benzo intermittently?  one of your posts on jan 18th said you last took an ativan 10 days ago - things are not going to get better if you are taking occasional doses.  you've indicated you aren't working so i would just stop ruminating over the lack of sleep - if you aren't leaving the house-  and not driving - it doesnt really matter - you need to stop all the meds and let your brain heal.  its going to be a long and difficult process but i can say after many months of being off- i get decent sleep.  insomnia was the reason i had been on z drugs and intermittent ativan use.  the brain will learn to sleep again but not if you keep exposing it to the meds... each time you do - you reset the clock

 

No Dude, I been off the Ativan a month and a half off, I guess I have to change my Sig!