flushed the rest of my pill

So i threw away the rest of my pills yesterday. I am 17 days off ativan after doing a very rapid taper. I went from 3/4 mg a day to 0 mg a day in under a month. I started taking benzo about a year and a half ago and it worked wonder at the beginning but over time it really done a number on me and my brain. My withdrawal surprisingly hasn't been that bad. the hardest part of it by far was the rapid taper where i was making big cut every couple of days, it was terrible and i felt like shit all day but it was tolerable. When i finnally jumped my withdrawal symptoms wasn't that bad, I believe I took the worst of it during my rapid taper. After reading what feels like hundreds of posts on this site i was expecting the worst of the worst and absolute hell but i guess that goes to show you shouldn't get too worried about everything you read on here and everyone's experiences are different. That being said it feels like all my withdrawal symptoms have switched from being physical ones to mental ones, i feel depressed most of the time like there is no hope, other times I'm just really angry at everything. i flushed the last of my pills down the toilet yesterday because i had this little voice in the back of my head just telling me that one pill is not going to make a difference but there no way I'm going through all that again so i just got rid of them. I am currently in a different country and its very hard for my to get any more benzos but i guess its a good thing.

 

Thanks for reading and i wish you all the best

Congratulations on having made it and also having the courage to make that huge step of flushing your leftovers.  I bet it was freeing and scary at the same time. 

 

Flushing pills doesn't always equal success.  Neither does going to another country.  I did both.  But there will come a time when it's really up to you, notwithstanding what's around you.  And that will be a go!

Congrats on being able to taper and jump rather quickly and fairly smoothly!

 

Good on you for getting rid of temptation. There's no way I'd want to risk going through the feeling of acute again.

 

Keep it up!

Sounds like you dodged a bullet!  Hopefully you'll never take another benzodiazepine as repeated withdrawals can be much more difficult.

Glad you're doing relatively well...the depression and anger will most likely go away with a little more time.