Persistent feeling of depression..Am I losing the battle?

This is so hard. I am 12 days free from benzos. My main symptoms are depression and insomnia, I can handle the physical symptoms, which are mild but I find myself into a altered mind state almost 24/7, thinking this depression and insomnia will be permanent. Is this possible? The feeling of depression is kind a mix of depression/anguish/anxiety..dunno how to describe it!!

Will this end ??

The depression is crushing, I still have it at 6.5 months but I’m in a killer wave. I had very brief windows and my depression lifted. I have to say the first 2 months were the worst for me, depression wise, it was absolute despair, now it’s more emptiness and lack of emotion. I did have some depression before and I’m losing a lot while in withdrawal, that depresses me too. I feel your pain, I believe it will get better, I’d also like to know when.

This is so hard. I am 12 days free from benzos. My main symptoms are depression and insomnia, I can handle the physical symptoms, which are mild but I find myself into a altered mind state almost 24/7, thinking this depression and insomnia will be permanent. Is this possible? The feeling of depression is kind a mix of depression/anguish/anxiety..dunno how to describe it!!

Will this end ??

 

Repeat to yourself over and over again that "you’re winning the battle." Positive self-talk is very important. It changes your thinking patterns and brain chemistry. Just like ADs do.

 

Worst case scenario. If this lasts, you visit a benzo-wise pdoc, who gives you some kind of psych med. I would try a group therapy first. A group of recovering benzo or alcohol addicts. Alcohol acts on the same receptors as benzos. The GABA receptors.

 

I managed to stay benzo-free chiefly thanks to AA meetings. Have never been an alcoholic. They work wonders for some ppl. You may call the AA helpline and someone will take you to a meeting. They have nothing to do with religion. It’s substituting God who was benzos for a Higher Power of your choice. The moment I stopped attending those meetings, my progressive relapse started.

Fer, this will surely pass. I experienced depression while taking benzos, during my taper, and I after I jumped. To some degree, I still think I experience it today but I can't guarantee that's from protracted withdrawal or if that's something else. Either way, it always passes. I know it's so tough when you're experiencing it. There were times when all I could do was lay on the couch and let the feeling happen. What sucked the most was how demotivated I felt. But, all of that eventually passed. It will for you too.

 

Keep coming here if you need support. Do you have family members or friends you can talk to about this as well?

Fer, this will surely pass. I experienced depression while taking benzos, during my taper, and I after I jumped. To some degree, I still think I experience it today but I can't guarantee that's from protracted withdrawal or if that's something else. Either way, it always passes. I know it's so tough when you're experiencing it. There were times when all I could do was lay on the couch and let the feeling happen. What sucked the most was how demotivated I felt. But, all of that eventually passed. It will for you too.

 

Keep coming here if you need support. Do you have family members or friends you can talk to about this as well?

 

Thanks Shaneb: I am almost sure this is due to benzo use/wd. before benzos I have been an anxious person, but normally not depressed. It was until I started using this crap continuously that I developed this kind of feeling of hopelessness and despair.

These last two nights I have been sleeping better (6-8 hours) with some little help of doxylamine and hydroxyzine (different nights) and I see my mood is lifting a bit.

 

 

Fer, this will surely pass. I experienced depression while taking benzos, during my taper, and I after I jumped. To some degree, I still think I experience it today but I can't guarantee that's from protracted withdrawal or if that's something else. Either way, it always passes. I know it's so tough when you're experiencing it. There were times when all I could do was lay on the couch and let the feeling happen. What sucked the most was how demotivated I felt. But, all of that eventually passed. It will for you too.

 

Keep coming here if you need support. Do you have family members or friends you can talk to about this as well?

 

Thanks Shaneb: I am almost sure this is due to benzo use/wd. before benzos I have been an anxious person, but normally not depressed. It was until I started using this crap continuously that I developed this kind of feeling of hopelessness and despair.

These last two nights I have been sleeping better (6-8 hours) with some little help of doxylamine and hydroxyzine (different nights) and I see my mood is lifting a bit.

 

I don't think I ever experienced the kind of depression benzos brought on, which is why, even when I was going through it, I knew it was not really me. Once it fades and you experience your true feelings more and more, you'll see how much of it is just induced by the drug or by withdrawal. It's sad how much benzodiazepines can turn on you when they're suppose to help you.

 

I'm glad you're feeling better! Hang in there

Fer, this will surely pass. I experienced depression while taking benzos, during my taper, and I after I jumped. To some degree, I still think I experience it today but I can't guarantee that's from protracted withdrawal or if that's something else. Either way, it always passes. I know it's so tough when you're experiencing it. There were times when all I could do was lay on the couch and let the feeling happen. What sucked the most was how demotivated I felt. But, all of that eventually passed. It will for you too.

 

Keep coming here if you need support. Do you have family members or friends you can talk to about this as well?

 

Thanks Shaneb: I am almost sure this is due to benzo use/wd. before benzos I have been an anxious person, but normally not depressed. It was until I started using this crap continuously that I developed this kind of feeling of hopelessness and despair.

These last two nights I have been sleeping better (6-8 hours) with some little help of doxylamine and hydroxyzine (different nights) and I see my mood is lifting a bit.

 

I don't think I ever experienced the kind of depression benzos brought on, which is why, even when I was going through it, I knew it was not really me. Once it fades and you experience your true feelings more and more, you'll see how much of it is just induced by the drug or by withdrawal. It's sad how much benzodiazepines can turn on you when they're suppose to help you.

 

I'm glad you're feeling better! Hang in there

 

Thanks Shaneb..I am doing my best effort to keep moving towards freedom.