3 years FREE and doing well!

Hi guys,

 

Ok, I'm a month shy of 3 years, but calling it here, as I'm not on here much anymore and with a fresh new year ahead, I wanted to pop in and tell you all hello, happy new year and things continue to improve with more time. If I had really thought 3 years ago, this healing journey would take years in the beginning, I don't know that I could have held on, but then again, what's the alternative right?

I think looking back to Feb 1st, 2015, when this horrific nightmare began and if I could lend anything real, true and get straight to the facts, my best advice is, take this thing...

ONE DAY AT A TIME. I can remember thinking, all I wanted was 15 minutes to pass, then an hour, a day, a week, then 2 weeks, then a month, 3 months, 6 months and finally 1 solid year under my belt benzo free. I was hanging onto the passing of time and it's truly what got me thru. All the usual windows & waves came & went over the first 2 years, really the first 12 months, most intensely.

Year 3 began to really go deeper and things got way calmer inside my mind & body. I still must find ways to overcome anxiety, which is the whole reason for Ativan in the first place, but I am figuring it out, as more time passes. I'ts weird, I can look back now and see there were times I thought, ok, I'm done, I'm healed and would at times write a post here on BB, only to have a wave hit me again. I still know it was all part of it and it takes what it takes to look back and see the different phases of healing it all was. This is such a weird vortex and unlike anything likely, any of us have seen before. I can say now though, I am a true benzo vet and have not even looked at a benzo all this time. I would never suggest a CT, but that was my story and I'm sure it caused me a harder and longer time of healing, but I still made it to the other side and so will you!

 

I had to accept, no drinking for myself. Yes, even that occasional glass of wine with friends, which is all the drinking I did anyway.

I tried a few times to have a glass, or 2 of wine over the last 2 years, thinking, I'm done and it's ridiculous a setback could still come from a drink or 2, but in my experience, it did. I had to work my way thru even resenting it for a bit. But, I had a couple bad spells and finally connected it to some wine. Acceptance is key, as all our stories have similar patterns, but differences too. Some can drink again, some cannot. Accepting it, is far batter than fighting it for sure I have found and it's hardly that important in the grand plan of life and feeling good, compared to surviving benzo hell!

 

I hope the 3 year update will encourage you that need it, that no matter how bad it may be right now, we make it thru this, with patience, acceptance and determination. I have a very determined will and there is no doubt, that is what helped me survive all this and my unwavering faith on God.

 

Blessings to all in 2018 and may this be your year for so much healing!

~Lysa

 

You've been an inspiration to me throughout, Lysa.  God bless you - there will be a crown for sure. 

 

I love what you said about year 3 going deeper and things getting way calmer in your mind and body.  I sure am ready for that. 

 

I agree with the alcohol - I felt almost grieved about that at first, but now feel such relief to know I'll never risk my health again, not for anything.  The choices I make now all feel healthy and liberating to me. 

 

Wishing you the very best in 2018.

 

CH

Happy 2018, mimagic.  Thanks for writing your story for those who follow!

Challis 

Congrats Lysa!

Hi guys,

 

Ok, I'm a month shy of 3 years, but calling it here, as I'm not on here much anymore and with a fresh new year ahead, I wanted to pop in and tell you all hello, happy new year and things continue to improve with more time. If I had really thought 3 years ago, this healing journey would take years in the beginning, I don't know that I could have held on, but then again, what's the alternative right?

I think looking back to Feb 1st, 2015, when this horrific nightmare began and if I could lend anything real, true and get straight to the facts, my best advice is, take this thing...

ONE DAY AT A TIME. I can remember thinking, all I wanted was 15 minutes to pass, then an hour, a day, a week, then 2 weeks, then a month, 3 months, 6 months and finally 1 solid year under my belt benzo free. I was hanging onto the passing of time and it's truly what got me thru. All the usual windows & waves came & went over the first 2 years, really the first 12 months, most intensely.

Year 3 began to really go deeper and things got way calmer inside my mind & body. I still must find ways to overcome anxiety, which is the whole reason for Ativan in the first place, but I am figuring it out, as more time passes. I'ts weird, I can look back now and see there were times I thought, ok, I'm done, I'm healed and would at times write a post here on BB, only to have a wave hit me again. I still know it was all part of it and it takes what it takes to look back and see the different phases of healing it all was. This is such a weird vortex and unlike anything likely, any of us have seen before. I can say now though, I am a true benzo vet and have not even looked at a benzo all this time. I would never suggest a CT, but that was my story and I'm sure it caused me a harder and longer time of healing, but I still made it to the other side and so will you!

 

I had to accept, no drinking for myself. Yes, even that occasional glass of wine with friends, which is all the drinking I did anyway.

I tried a few times to have a glass, or 2 of wine over the last 2 years, thinking, I'm done and it's ridiculous a setback could still come from a drink or 2, but in my experience, it did. I had to work my way thru even resenting it for a bit. But, I had a couple bad spells and finally connected it to some wine. Acceptance is key, as all our stories have similar patterns, but differences too. Some can drink again, some cannot. Accepting it, is far batter than fighting it for sure I have found and it's hardly that important in the grand plan of life and feeling good, compared to surviving benzo hell!

 

I hope the 3 year update will encourage you that need it, that no matter how bad it may be right now, we make it thru this, with patience, acceptance and determination. I have a very determined will and there is no doubt, that is what helped me survive all this and my unwavering faith on God.

 

Blessings to all in 2018 and may this be your year for so much healing!

~Lysa

 

Thanks a lot Lysa for this inspiring and helpful update. I believe the 3rd year brings finetuning...and en eventually takes us to a stronger version of ourselves. Be blessed and enjoy life in the New Year!

You've been an inspiration to me throughout, Lysa.  God bless you - there will be a crown for sure. 

 

I love what you said about year 3 going deeper and things getting way calmer in your mind and body.  I sure am ready for that. 

 

I agree with the alcohol - I felt almost grieved about that at first, but now feel such relief to know I'll never risk my health again, not for anything.  The choices I make now all feel healthy and liberating to me. 

 

Wishing you the very best in 2018.

 

CH

 

 

Thank you! Very sweet and uplifting. One never tires of that. Yes, choices now are all about health and peace. Nothing is worth risking that.

 

God bless!

Lysa

Happy 2018, mimagic.  Thanks for writing your story for those who follow!

Challis 

 

Thanks Challis! 

Congrats Lysa!

 

Thank you!

Hi guys,

 

Ok, I'm a month shy of 3 years, but calling it here, as I'm not on here much anymore and with a fresh new year ahead, I wanted to pop in and tell you all hello, happy new year and things continue to improve with more time. If I had really thought 3 years ago, this healing journey would take years in the beginning, I don't know that I could have held on, but then again, what's the alternative right?

I think looking back to Feb 1st, 2015, when this horrific nightmare began and if I could lend anything real, true and get straight to the facts, my best advice is, take this thing...

ONE DAY AT A TIME. I can remember thinking, all I wanted was 15 minutes to pass, then an hour, a day, a week, then 2 weeks, then a month, 3 months, 6 months and finally 1 solid year under my belt benzo free. I was hanging onto the passing of time and it's truly what got me thru. All the usual windows & waves came & went over the first 2 years, really the first 12 months, most intensely.

Year 3 began to really go deeper and things got way calmer inside my mind & body. I still must find ways to overcome anxiety, which is the whole reason for Ativan in the first place, but I am figuring it out, as more time passes. I'ts weird, I can look back now and see there were times I thought, ok, I'm done, I'm healed and would at times write a post here on BB, only to have a wave hit me again. I still know it was all part of it and it takes what it takes to look back and see the different phases of healing it all was. This is such a weird vortex and unlike anything likely, any of us have seen before. I can say now though, I am a true benzo vet and have not even looked at a benzo all this time. I would never suggest a CT, but that was my story and I'm sure it caused me a harder and longer time of healing, but I still made it to the other side and so will you!

 

I had to accept, no drinking for myself. Yes, even that occasional glass of wine with friends, which is all the drinking I did anyway.

I tried a few times to have a glass, or 2 of wine over the last 2 years, thinking, I'm done and it's ridiculous a setback could still come from a drink or 2, but in my experience, it did. I had to work my way thru even resenting it for a bit. But, I had a couple bad spells and finally connected it to some wine. Acceptance is key, as all our stories have similar patterns, but differences too. Some can drink again, some cannot. Accepting it, is far batter than fighting it for sure I have found and it's hardly that important in the grand plan of life and feeling good, compared to surviving benzo hell!

 

I hope the 3 year update will encourage you that need it, that no matter how bad it may be right now, we make it thru this, with patience, acceptance and determination. I have a very determined will and there is no doubt, that is what helped me survive all this and my unwavering faith on God.

 

Blessings to all in 2018 and may this be your year for so much healing!

~Lysa

 

Thanks a lot Lysa for this inspiring and helpful update. I believe the 3rd year brings finetuning...and en eventually takes us to a stronger version of ourselves. Be blessed and enjoy life in the New Year!

 

 

So agree and thank you!

Congrats Lysa! I'm so glad that you are doing well. I remember the hell that you went through after your c/t and I'm beyond thrilled that you crossed the finish line.

 

Yes please stay away from alcohol. IMHO some people can drink alcohol after benzo recovery without any problems and some people will never be able to drink alcohol again, and nobody knows why this is (we are all genetically different). Once we are healed nobody wants to go back to square one and drinking alcohol is not worth it.

 

Wishing you much love, happiness and continued healing in 2018!

Francesca 

Congratulations for making to the other side! So happy for you!

Thank you so much to coming back and let us know there is a other side. Healing dos happen is just some of us taking a very ing time.

Thank you and God bless you with good health and happiness!

Love

Vica

I echo the other voices here when I say "Congrulations!" and "Thank you for coming back to tell us." It's great to know that you've continued to improve and that all your hard work and determination has paid off. I wish you all the best!

Thank you, Lysa for sharing your 3 year anniversary off of benzos.  Your posts always give me hope that each day will bring me closer to peace and joy.  Wishing you lots of love for the New Year! 

Congrats Lysa! I'm so glad that you are doing well. I remember the hell that you went through after your c/t and I'm beyond thrilled that you crossed the finish line.

 

Yes please stay away from alcohol. IMHO some people can drink alcohol after benzo recovery without any problems and some people will never be able to drink alcohol again, and nobody knows why this is (we are all genetically different). Once we are healed nobody wants to go back to square one and drinking alcohol is not worth it.

 

Wishing you much love, happiness and continued healing in 2018!

Francesca 

 

 

Hi Fran! Thanks for the message and all your support over the last 3 years. Your a doll! Much health & happiness to you as well in this bright new year! 

Congratulations for making to the other side! So happy for you!

Thank you so much to coming back and let us know there is a other side. Healing dos happen is just some of us taking a very ing time.

Thank you and God bless you with good health and happiness!

Love

Vica

 

Thank you Vica! All will be well. Blessings 

I echo the other voices here when I say "Congrulations!" and "Thank you for coming back to tell us." It's great to know that you've continued to improve and that all your hard work and determination has paid off. I wish you all the best!

 

Thank you so much Lapis! You’ve always been such a blessing on these boards. 

So happy for you!!! It gives me hope when I see a success story from someone who was a cold turkey! I am at 20.5 months off of my cold turkey and in a funk right now. I hope to be joining you soon on the sunny side! Thank you for keeping hope alive!

Thank you, Lysa for sharing your 3 year anniversary off of benzos.  Your posts always give me hope that each day will bring me closer to peace and joy.  Wishing you lots of love for the New Year! 

 

So sweet are your words...Thank you and blessings to you, with so much healing and happiness in 2018! 

So happy for you!!! It gives me hope when I see a success story from someone who was a cold turkey! I am at 20.5 months off of my cold turkey and in a funk right now. I hope to be joining you soon on the sunny side! Thank you for keeping hope alive!

 

It WILL happen! I had funk spells too, but they do pass and as more time goes, they pass sooner. It really is time with this and especially us CT's. Be so proud of yourself how far you have come, seriously...this is HARD work and no wimp could ever make it!

Blessings and may 2018 be the year you really heal it all up! 

thanks so much for sharing.  It helps to hear of someone else surviving the Ativan poison.

You helped me so much when I first ct in Jan 2016. You were the first person to give me hope and reply to a pm. I'll never forget that. I was so afraid.

 

Thank you for coming back every so often with updates. It really helps me too. You deserve an awesome life for what you've been through!