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I miss going outside.


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My sleep schedule is totally flipped for some reason. I can only sleep while the sun is up. Any idea whats up with that? It makes going outside so hard. Well not really hard, but not advisable. I mean, it's obviously not a good idea to go wandering around at 2am... I really miss outside. It looks so pretty. I used to be an indoorsy person, but one day I decided to go on an international trip to Seoul, South Korea for a month. I spent most of my time partying in the busy city environment and enjoying the awesome nature surrounding it. I want to go back. But I'm trapped inside my tiny bedroom because of all the symptoms. If I go anywhere I get worse. It makes me sad that I can't enjoy going outdoors. Honestly, I'm just crying right now because it seems like an impossible dream to even leave my house. And even if I could leave, I wouldn't be able to enjoy it because of the intense derealization I'm subject to. I think I'm going to start sitting by an open window. I might try sitting on the back porch as well. I need some sunlight...
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I'm not sure why your sleep got flipped, but maybe it's a defense mechanism at some level.  Lots of stuff happens during the day, and sleep is a way to keep that more hectic pace at bay.  If you're not getting out at all, then exposure to sunlight may also play a role.  We evolved with light and dark exposure.  Our bodies are affected by light/dark cycles.  Maybe sitting by the window is a good first step to getting back on a more normal sleep schedule, and getting out to the porch would be the next logical step (if you can do that).

 

Just my 2 cents...

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I have a hard time going outside too, and I find myself being overly active during the night, and prone to sleep when light shows up, just as you, regardless of the time I spent exposed to artificial light. I think the two might share a link, being cut off from social synchronizers and thus, from an essential aspect of your internal clock, doesn't only make you feel like you have lost all your references, but it also create bad new ones. The fact that I'm not exposed to people that may trigger my anxiety, or that I don't even have to worry about getting involved into diurnal activities conditioned my body over time, or at least this is what I think. Schizoid personality disorder, for instance, that consist of a total rupture with the social environment, does include delayed sleep phase syndrome as frequently associated conditions, and I believe this is not a coincidence.

 

There might be other reasons, such as the sleep architecture, the moment you took your dose before sleeping (even after quitting meds)... And for me, the problem got half-resolved when I got better, and less depressed, but still isolation and apprehension lock me up when everyone's out. About two month ago, It appeared to me like you said, that it was an impossible dream to leave the house, and I felt like I was nowhere anyway, that beyond these walls were some vast areas I had no place within, yet I wanted to get out so bad... I started a melatonin therapy, knowing it is not recommended to take it each night, as it can disrupt your hormone levels, I stop taking it each three days for an equivalent time. It shifted my sleep 3 hours back, so that I slept at 3 am instead of 6, thus, from the moment I felt stable, I forced myself through sleep deprivation, waking up and getting outside just as long as possible (I'd walk 5 minutes and ran back home), not trying to get to bed before feeling sleepy the evening, and avoiding naps. And within a week falling into slumber at 12 am, I maintained a ritual, this time without getting up too early, but whenever it felt like no bother. (Now too bad I have insomnia)

 

So, I suggest you recover from this tiring experience, which will pass, don't worry, and perhaps you won't even need to fix it the hard way, remember the state you are in is far from normal anyway, and that back to normalcy it can only get better. If you don't go out in society, at least your body must believe it is synchronized. I hope this was helpful.

 

Wish you courage. Best regards,

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My sleep schedule is totally flipped for some reason. I can only sleep while the sun is up. Any idea whats up with that? It makes going outside so hard. Well not really hard, but not advisable. I mean, it's obviously not a good idea to go wandering around at 2am... I really miss outside. It looks so pretty. I used to be an indoorsy person, but one day I decided to go on an international trip to Seoul, South Korea for a month. I spent most of my time partying in the busy city environment and enjoying the awesome nature surrounding it. I want to go back. But I'm trapped inside my tiny bedroom because of all the symptoms. If I go anywhere I get worse. It makes me sad that I can't enjoy going outdoors. Honestly, I'm just crying right now because it seems like an impossible dream to even leave my house. And even if I could leave, I wouldn't be able to enjoy it because of the intense derealization I'm subject to. I think I'm going to start sitting by an open window. I might try sitting on the back porch as well. I need some sunlight...

 

Sorry to read you are suffering so.  Natural light sounds like a good idea.  Artificial light from computers and screens can really mess up your sleep too from what I've read because it tricks your brain into thinking it is daylight/sunlight. 

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