A wall at 13 months....

Support and advice would be so welcome right now.  It's been 13 mo. since going to detox [don't recommend this approach to anyone] to finally get rid of an almost 20 yr BZD dependency. The first year has been full of the physical issues we talk about on this sight but month 13 has sure not been "lucky 13".  There must be neuronal growth as the sx now include picky skin, anxiety, royal sleep disruption - even with melatonin or benadryl, depression, benzo belly, anger, irritability, ultra sensitivity to sound as well as light, etc. etc.  Finding resources to provide support is an ongoing challenge, even while living in a large city with a well regarded university.  AA comes closest and Al-anon is helping provide a network of support and learning how to live life in a healthier way but these still aren't quite the fit for a person coming off of benzos.  I'm utterly exhausted yet know time is the only real healer.  Anybody else out there get slammed after the first year and how did you push through this time?  It hasn't been 18 months so I guess by definition you don't call is protracted withdrawal yet.  Thanks for any advice. 

I had a rough time at 13 months myself, a lot of things got worse again. Actually from 12 months I had some bad times, now at 14.5 and things are starting to improve a bit finally.

 

 

Hi I am almost at 13 months and in another awful wave with severe anxiety, adrenalin rushes, frequent crying and insomnia. I had a bad wave for 10 days at 11 months then this. From what I am reading it is common for people to have waves this late on. I haven't really had any windows of normality just a dulling down of symptoms for a few hours or days if I am lucky before they ramp right up again. All we can do is keep on going for another day I guess and hope that our turn will come too one day for recovery. Good luck I hope you get some relief soon.

Hi Squirrley, it was kind of a relief to read your post because I am also at 13 months and in an awful wave that feels like it’s going on forever. It has been going on for at least a month… Bad depression, anxiety,  few windows. Before this I had a window that was several weeks long and I felt so so normal I thought I was done with all of this. It is very discouraging and spooky to be feeling this bad again day after day after day. I think back to six months when I hit a terrible wave, and I know that is common.  Many of my old symptoms are gone: balance problems, significant memory problems, cognitive fog, Blurry vision, diarrhea. But the depression and existential anxiety have a grip on me and it feels like they’ll never let go. All the obsessing about this that just doesn’t stop… It’s gotta pass for all of us!

You all made me feel better. A month ago I thought I was done. I've never had but a few days for a window and mostly the symptoms just dull. The spasms did disappear and return. But my thyroid was low for a while I guess so I got a false sense of healing. I failed my observation at my job in month 10. Partly I have a different manager. I did great in the midst of the worst withdrawal. Anyhow I have to do better and try to transfer. My anxiety is bad. Been meditating for a year and it does tamp things down. But I just didn't expect to have such strong symptoms now. Slept a total of 10 hours in 2 nights. I don't l know how much longer I can go without sleeping through the night. I also wonder how much is stress bringing on.

I just got off yesterday. The windows can fool you. I felt pretty decent yesterday but not so good this morning. I think you are right about the protracted w/d being in the 18 month - 2 year time-frame. Hang in there and try to remain optimistic. It is really hard to have to put your life on hold and you really don't know how you will be feeling a year or two out. Very scary! Reading this forum, the good and the bad, helps me tremendously to cope.

 

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