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At what point does this start to get better?


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Almost 6 months now and I feel worse. When does it start to get easier? I'm so sick :( I don't know how I can keep going like this. Even some symptoms that had gone away are back now along with some new ones. Please give me some hope. I don't know how much longer I can do this if something doesn't start to ease up soon. I was sleeping about 5 hours and now it's back to 3. Morning anxiety is severe I just toss and turn in the bed crying and shaking and feeling like my head is gonna explode! The physical torture is getting unbearable and I'm in constant pain. I don't know what to do anymore.
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intrepide...thanks for the reply. I'm glad you're feeling better. I'm really losing hope right now. I can't see an end to this or imagine myself ever feeling any relief. I hope you're doing well. I will look forward to 8-9 months and hope for the best. Thank you.
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Almost 6 months now and I feel worse. When does it start to get easier? I'm so sick :( I don't know how I can keep going like this. Even some symptoms that had gone away are back now along with some new ones. Please give me some hope. I don't know how much longer I can do this if something doesn't start to ease up soon. I was sleeping about 5 hours and now it's back to 3. Morning anxiety is severe I just toss and turn in the bed crying and shaking and feeling like my head is gonna explode! The physical torture is getting unbearable and I'm in constant pain. I don't know what to do anymore.

 

It was around the 6th-7th month that the chronic anxiety began to ease off and fade for me. It is very difficult to put any exact timing on any of this, Faery, and it can be frustrating to try - because there is no blueprint and there is no schedule. But the general gist is true - the further away you get from ingesting the poison, the better and better you begin to feel.

 

Thinking of it in trends is probably more satisfactory - you are healng all the time, even if you cannot see that on a day to day basis (as I couldn't); That becomes clearer as time goes on.

 

Congratulations on six months :)

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Nightwatch...thanks for the reply. I know it's impossible to try to find a pattern in all this as everyone is so different. If even some of the symptoms would start to dissipate it would restore my hope a little. I just feel like I'm stuck this way forever and some things are so much worse now for me. It's really hard to believe that it ever does in fact start to get better. Having a really difficult time right now and my body just feels like it's shutting down. I really thought by now some things would have started to get better. I hope things continue to improve for you rapidly. This is the hardest thing EVER!!! I'm sure you all already know that tho.
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intrepide...thanks for the reply. I'm glad you're feeling better. I'm really losing hope right now. I can't see an end to this or imagine myself ever feeling any relief. I hope you're doing well. I will look forward to 8-9 months and hope for the best. Thank you.

 

yes i am a lot better than i was 6 months ago, i was a mess at 6 months.. as nightwatch says, you will see the progress when you look back. as the days go by you won’t see change but if you look back in 2-3 months steps you can see some light. we can’t do much about it, so we have to take the day as it comes. yesterday i cried the hell out of me, today i am sooo positive about the future. kinda schizo but it’s withdrawal. 2 steps forward, 1 step back, 2 forwards and so on.  :smitten:

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Why not get a set of notenooks, Faery, and write it out as you go. It is very therapeutic and helps you with your thinking even as you write. And handwriting is far superior to typing stuff into a screen imo.

 

If nothing else, it is a means of expressing and exploring your thoughts and ideas, and "slows you down to the speed of writing" as you go. Then, too, you'll have a record to look back on and be able to see first hand, from your own direct say-so, what symptoms have disappeared and when. (it can be very hard to recognise what is "gone" and no longer troubling you, at any given time, believe it or not).

 

I have a whole stack of notebooks here, going back to the very beginning. It is a solid, and now priceless, recollection/report of events as they unfolded, together with an undeniable record of the successes - even the tiny ones. There's a lot of venting there too!  :laugh:

 

I recommend it highly ;)

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Sorry that you are suffering.

It seems to me that the year mark is a point in time where most feel better and can see an end, some a little before and some a little after, not saying it will be all bad up to that point though, you are 6 months out and with a bit of luck you will feel some small changes that will give you hope for the future and a reason to keep on keeping on. You may already have had these but at the moment your mind is compromised and cant remember feeling better. I am now at 8.5 months out and can emphasize with you as when I am in a wave as I have been for the last few days although the physical is a PITA the mental side of things is what brings me down most.

 

Sorry to say and sound like a broken record but time is what it takes and I have now come to accept this fact.

 

2trusting

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Nightwatch...thanks for the suggestion I may try that. None of my most severe symptoms have gotten any better yet and right now they're actually worse than the first few months. I guess that's why I can't really look back and see any improvement. Its been a real struggle for me lately. I try to not think about the future too much or how I will feel. Most things I have come to accept but the pain is not one of them as of yet.

 

2trusting...you're right, I've had a few days with just the normal symptoms that are constant and I'm much more able to deal with it but at times like this I feel like I'm getting slammed with everything all at once. Sorry your mental symptoms are still rough. I should be grateful that most of mine are physical. Just wish they would take turns instead of all coming on at once. Days like this are the worst.

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I know this benzo withdrawal is a hell none of us would have chosen. It is so difficult dealing with the symptoms. And not knowing how long recovery will take is excruciating. But, I feel grateful to know others have suffered and come out on the other side. I was prescribed clonazepam for 26.5 years and followed doctors' orders strictly. Because of this I know it is likely to be a very long road for me. I've been off benzos close to a year. Some days are better than others. I had a 3 day window at about six months. The last couple of months have been bad and I'm mostly bedridden. So for me the healing is not in a linear fashion.

 

For me I've just tried to accept that this is something I have to go through (and, yes, I get really angry about it at times). I'm trying to be patient and kind to myself. Every day, week, month that passes puts me closer to the end. And BenzoBuddies has helped. Nice to have others who understand and share.

 

Lala

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Thanks Lala...I'm sorry you're still going through this but glad you've had some better days. I think my acceptance is lacking because of being a short term user and really having no idea of how bad this could get. I get really angry too but mostly just afraid and want it to be over so I can never look back! Most of the time I feel like there's no way I can survive this with all the other health issues and life problems that I'm currently dealing with. In a complete emotional crisis right now. 😢
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Faery,

 

I'm still suffering terribly also. Just want you to know you are not alone....I can't see it or FEEL like I'm getting better, but my therapist points out I am doing more than I used to - like walking a mile a day instead of just one block....  She tells me the feelings are the last thing to change.......  I just keep having hope and saying mantras when the anxiety hits which is practically constant.  Good luck to you. As I say to myself getting through is so hard and it points out how strong I really am..... which I'm sure is the same for you....

 

 

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mowgli...you're right about that. This bring out a strength in us that most of us never knew existed. I had planned on starting to walk more this week with my dog to get some exercise and distract my mind but this horrible pain I'm having is preventing that for now. I keep telling myself that I'm healing even through all the symptoms. Doesn't feel that way for sure but I'm going to try to see them as a positive sign somehow. Changing our attitude is all we can really do since we can't change anything else right now.
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Mowgli,

 

I was also hospitalized where they stopped benzo CT. It's rough, right? I'm struggling so much. I can't imagine walking a mile. Way to go!

 

Lala

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Almost 6 months now and I feel worse. When does it start to get easier? I'm so sick :( I don't know how I can keep going like this. Even some symptoms that had gone away are back now along with some new ones. Please give me some hope. I don't know how much longer I can do this if something doesn't start to ease up soon. I was sleeping about 5 hours and now it's back to 3. Morning anxiety is severe I just toss and turn in the bed crying and shaking and feeling like my head is gonna explode! The physical torture is getting unbearable and I'm in constant pain. I don't know what to do anymore.

 

Sounds like me at 6 mo. - note for note. I'm into it now at 15 mo. and still fighting. Wish I could give you a definitive answer but I cannot. But what you are going through is not uncommon. It's better just to focus on it at the present moment. I would strongly advise to avoid stress if at all possible. Take care -

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I know this benzo withdrawal is a hell none of us would have chosen. It is so difficult dealing with the symptoms. And not knowing how long recovery will take is excruciating. But, I feel grateful to know others have suffered and come out on the other side. I was prescribed clonazepam for 26.5 years and followed doctors' orders strictly. Because of this I know it is likely to be a very long road for me. I've been off benzos close to a year. Some days are better than others. I had a 3 day window at about six months. The last couple of months have been bad and I'm mostly bedridden. So for me the healing is not in a linear fashion.

 

For me I've just tried to accept that this is something I have to go through (and, yes, I get really angry about it at times). I'm trying to be patient and kind to myself. Every day, week, month that passes puts me closer to the end. And BenzoBuddies has helped. Nice to have others who understand and share.

 

Lala

 

OMG - 26+ yrs. I cannot imagine. I was on it a few yrs. but upped to dosage myself - going to Mexico for Rx because I would run out my Rx. I was up to about 6-8mg/day Clonazepam. I was trying to blot out the pain of a broken heart. I had recently lost my family - one brother to suicide, another brother and mother. Lost father years back to alzheimer's. Finally lost last to members (cats) in 2015 and could not recover. I had also had heart surgery (5-bypass) in 2013 and back surgery in 2010. Made 2 suicide attempts, twice committed to MH facilities, lost job, car, career, recovered opiates addiction in 2013 but could not recover the loss of family members. OD'd in 2016 with Nembutal, Clonazepam, Seroquel - found unconscious, close to death (not close enough) and hospitalized 4 days. I then detoxed (30 days) and am now into 15 mo. off Clonazepam. I have been profoundly saddened and can no longer feel anything. The Benzo W/D has been an abject nightmare. At 59 now I would all but give up but for my wife and the neighbor's cat - has now adopted me. And for BB for whom I am so grateful.

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It will get better, Faery.  The very good news is that you took benzos for a very brief time and tapered and you don't have acute mental symptoms and those factors would seem to portend a shorter recovery time.  For those of us who took these drugs for years and were taken off abruptly, the withdrawal can sometimes be severe and/or last longer.  Not always, but for me that is what has happened.  However, I do want to report that I have been told by others that they see significant improvement in my symptoms since the 12 month mark.  Not every day of course but the baseline is very very slowly moving up.  It is so hard to see our own improvement so the suggestion to keep a daily journal is an excellent one.  All you need to do is get through today.

 

:smitten:

Carol

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi faery 23

I suffered so much during my Xanax withdrawals. It was up and down for almost 2 years. I promise you will heal. I thought I would never be able to say this. But you need time and you will feel normal again. Just be patient with your brain. It’s doing the best it can. You will love and live life again. Just hang in there. Peace

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Thank you I REALLY needed to hear that at this very moment. Although I can't even imagine suffering like this for two years!!! I'm glad you are better now. I hope it won't be this hard the entire time.
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  • 5 months later...
I'd like to ask how everyone that replied to this post how they are doing? I'm still waiting to get to the end of this nightmare it's been 3 years and 7 months for me.
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Faery, I am a short time user like you ...my main symptoms are mental, anxiety, fears...

 

What pain are you experiencing now?

 

Hugs and love from,

Mary

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Yeah I understand how you feel. It's just so frustrating not knowing what is next in store. I am just exhausted now in every way. My life has been on pause for so long now. I try my best not to give in to the negative thoughts but they're always there. Worried that this is just my life now. That it never rly goes away completely. I think I have other issues going on that could be contributing factors in why I am not getting better still. Just still searching desperately for answers that don't seem to even exist :(
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Yeah I understand how you feel. It's just so frustrating not knowing what is next in store. I am just exhausted now in every way. My life has been on pause for so long now. I try my best not to give in to the negative thoughts but they're always there. Worried that this is just my life now. That it never rly goes away completely. I think I have other issues going on that could be contributing factors in why I am not getting better still. Just still searching desperately for answers that don't seem to even exist :(

 

wait, are you still feeling the same since November?

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