Author Topic: Parents of toddlers/young children  (Read 1263 times)

[Buddie]

Parents of toddlers/young children
« on: November 08, 2017, 04:01:24 pm »
I think maybe starting this group will prove beneficial to parents who are dying of guilt because they can’t be the vibrant father/mother they’d want because of this benzo shit.

I get a HUGE amount of anxiety when it comes to taking care of my 2.5 year old little girl. Granted, she’s a handful to ANYONE, withdrawal or not, but it KILLS me to not have the energy to play with her, to not be able to pick her by myself because of fear. Her crying burns my ears because of my sensitivity to sound. I also feel like a deadbeat for not being able to help my wife as she’s basically a one person show.

Have a story? Get it off your chest here.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Parents of toddlers/young children
« Reply #1 on: November 01, 2018, 03:32:10 am »
I think maybe starting this group will prove beneficial to parents who are dying of guilt because they can’t be the vibrant father/mother they’d want because of this benzo shit.

I get a HUGE amount of anxiety when it comes to taking care of my 2.5 year old little girl. Granted, she’s a handful to ANYONE, withdrawal or not, but it KILLS me to not have the energy to play with her, to not be able to pick her by myself because of fear. Her crying burns my ears because of my sensitivity to sound. I also feel like a deadbeat for not being able to help my wife as she’s basically a one person show.

Have a story? Get it off your chest here.

I know this post is a year old but I see that you’re still active and I relate so much. I have a 2.5 year old and I feel like a shitty mom. My family has been buying his clothes, food and taking him to do stuff I feel so worthless. I pray every night that he doesn’t get sick because I’m agoraphobic and the thought of me having to take him to the ER makes me beyond anxious.. I’m enjoying his childhood through pictures. It’s a damn shame I want my life back
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Parents of toddlers/young children
« Reply #2 on: November 01, 2018, 01:59:01 pm »
Yes.. I can definitely relate to that. 

I want you to try something.  I want you to visualize.. like you're watching yourself through a window with your child.  You're watching how you play with him(?) or whatever activity you're doing with him/her.  I think if you're being honest.. you'll see a mother fighting EXTREMELY hard through all of these symptoms to be present and be a good mom.  And I bet that if you could actually witness yourself, knowing what you're going through.. you'd be proud of that person you see (which is you). 

Taking this prospective should at least take the edge off of the extreme guilt we have.  Just knowing how hard you're fighting to be a great mom.  All you can do is keep fighting and trying the best you can, and love you're child.  If you're doing that.. then you are an amazing mom already. 

Hope this helps.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Parents of toddlers/young children
« Reply #3 on: November 02, 2018, 01:37:30 am »
Thanks for starting this. This exact guilt is what drags on me the most. But my 3yr old is the main reason I endure this on the flip side.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Parents of toddlers/young children
« Reply #4 on: November 02, 2018, 08:22:11 am »
Thanks for starting this. This exact guilt is what drags on me the most. But my 3yr old is the main reason I endure this on the flip side.

Many days I tell myself this is for my nine month old. I want to be fully present when he becomes more aware. I want to be able to play and interact fully as he ages. It helps me continue.
My almost- eleven year old just prefers to shut the door to her room whilst listening to music. She could care less about parents 😁
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Parents of toddlers/young children
« Reply #5 on: November 02, 2018, 09:33:52 am »
Thank you so much for starting this page, I have 2 young beautiful daughters 3yo and 6yo. And not being able to do all the things my father was able to do when I was younger makes me feel so much guilt, which turns into anxiety and depression. I feel so selfish sometimes and want to just give up on my taper and just updose for as long as I can just to be able to do the things i want with my kids.
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Parents of toddlers/young children
« Reply #6 on: November 02, 2018, 03:09:51 pm »
My kids are older now, age 9 and 12. But when this nightmare started they were 2 and 5. I would say the fact that because you care so much about them and are getting help, its
enough, you are a good mom.  :smitten:

In the beginning I couldn't go to the ER with the kids, but as benzos took hold, I was able to. Now at the end of withdrawal, I don't think I could go. But I am optimistic after I am healed I will be able to do things like this again. I hope the same for you  :smitten:

I was very hard on myself and still am. I think what put things into perspective for me was when I saw something on televesion about cases where children were neglected and abused intentionally by parents who displayed narcisistic and psychopathic behaviour. The fact that we care deeply about our children and show them affection/love and play with them is enough.

Its so strange because if we had cancer or some other debilitating illness I don't think we would feel quite so guilty for asking for help with our children, I don't know why this is. Perhaps because it is not as recognized by the medical profession or in social circles, perhaps its something we feel ashamed of?
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Parents of toddlers/young children
« Reply #7 on: November 08, 2018, 01:06:13 am »
Hello all! I just wanted to say hi. I am also a mother of a three year old. She is non verbal and on the autism spectrum. I guess I have a lot of guilt with not being able to play with her AS a much as I hoped to at this stage. I just am a week out after jumping from Valium. I am in acute withdrawal, but as you know, being a parent- parenting is so challenging when dealing with withdrawal. I wish you all love on your journeys!
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Parents of toddlers/young children
« Reply #8 on: November 08, 2018, 04:02:16 pm »
Hello all! I just wanted to say hi. I am also a mother of a three year old. She is non verbal and on the autism spectrum. I guess I have a lot of guilt with not being able to play with her AS a much as I hoped to at this stage. I just am a week out after jumping from Valium. I am in acute withdrawal, but as you know, being a parent- parenting is so challenging when dealing with withdrawal. I wish you all love on your journeys!

Do you have help [...]? I remember I needed help when my kids were younger. I mean I still need help now with the kids getting rides to various places as they have all their activities. I think for me it got easier as they got older as the kids can look after themselves now, but now they want friends over and to go places and that opened up a lot of stress for me as I can't drive yet and get panic attacks talking to other parents. I feel more under a microscope now.

Congratulations on your jump! What symptoms do you have if you dont mind me asking in the acute phase?
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.

[Buddie]

Re: Parents of toddlers/young children
« Reply #9 on: November 19, 2018, 11:56:14 am »
Thank you for starting this group. I have two beautiful little girls, 3.5 years and 13 months. I feel unbelievably guilty and scared about all of this happening and when it will end/how in earth am I going to taper safely etc so I don’t screw myself up so much I kiss years of their lives. Someone recently said to me though that these difficulties that a mother/father personally go through only help make them a better parent - there will be a reason that we go through what we do and we will be able to help our kids further down the line with whatever they go through.
 :smitten:
Suggestions, opinions and/or advice provided by the author of this post should not be regarded as medical advice; nor should it substitute for professional medical care. Consult your doctor before making any changes to your medication. Please read our Community Policy Documents board for further information.