Is this really wd depression? I’m scared

I don’t know if this is really with drawl depression or my underlying depression? I didn’t feel depressed last night, actually felt good.... and today I got hit with an uncontrollable wave of deep depression I couldn’t pull myself out of… I can’t stand anymore of these waves. Is this really withdrawal? God I’m scared

 

I’m overwhelmed with my life circumstances and don’t have any help to do simple tasks. That makes me feel worse. It’s a vicious cycle. Will it really end?

 

Please,  does the depression really end? Will I really be functional? Five months and I don’t know if I can go on

I’m Sorry for venting... These depressive waves are painful. Felt better in the pm.

 

Does anyone else go thru this?

If so, how long does it last?

 

Trying so hard to thought check......

I do. It's up and down day to day hour to hour sometimes. I also wonder the same that you do...is this just who I am off meds. I wish I had an answer but it's so complicated really.

In case it helps, I feel like that too.

I do. It's up and down day to day hour to hour sometimes. I also wonder the same that you do...is this just who I am off meds. I wish I had an answer but it's so complicated really.

 

Hi Two,

How are you coping? What tools do u use? Do u remind yourself this isn’t the real you?

 

It makes me feel crazy...  being emotionally unstable has made me consider numerous things...

I don’t want to go thru it again and again. It’s tough Bc I want people around ( developed this weird new phobia of being alone) but don’t want them to see this side... that I feel I can’t control.

It’s primarily when I wake around 2-4 am to about 3-6 pm... usually better in pms.

Those windows are what give me hope, but it feels torn down with the waves. Then I start all over again the next day.....groundhogs day??

 

4Gilly,

 

I wish none of us had to experience this..... does your have a pattern?

How are you coping? What tools do you use to get thru?

Do you have a good support? Seems essential in this madness.

I haven't noticed a pattern in my case but yes, I've been scared many times - also felt I couldn't go through it another day. I'm coming up on 14 mo. and it's been rough still. Though I've noticed a few windows of normalcy - just yesterday morning. But it has been a freaking nightmare especially since about 5 mo. into it. I do believe it will pass - just takes time for the brain to heal.

Wish I could do better to help. One thing I would say is avoid stress if possible - that can really be treacherous. Please stay with us here . . .

I haven't noticed a pattern in my case but yes, I've been scared many times - also felt I couldn't go through it another day. I'm coming up on 14 mo. and it's been rough still. Though I've noticed a few windows of normalcy - just yesterday morning. But it has been a freaking nightmare especially since about 5 mo. into it. I do believe it will pass - just takes time for the brain to heal.

Wish I could do better to help. One thing I would say is avoid stress if possible - that can really be treacherous. Please stay with us here . . .

Catt

Thanks for the reply. 14 mo... I dont know how you’ve done it. I don’t want to cry and feel hopeless one more day let alone months more. I know everyone’s timeline is different, but I get lost in my depression and feel it’s never going to end. I’ve had a fair amount of stress since this began and before frankly. Seems difficult to avoid but trying to minimize for sure. I’m pretty sure the stress triggers the wave, causes crying and perseverating aggravates it all. Vicious cycle.

Thank you for the support and encouragement, I really needed that 🙏

 

Catt

Thanks for the reply. 14 mo... I dont know how you’ve done it. I don’t want to cry and feel hopeless one more day let alone months more. I know everyone’s timeline is different, but I get lost in my depression and feel it’s never going to end. I’ve had a fair amount of stress since this began and before frankly. Seems difficult to avoid but trying to minimize for sure. I’m pretty sure the stress triggers the wave, causes crying and perseverating aggravates it all. Vicious cycle.

Thank you for the support and encouragement, I really needed that 🙏

 

I just take it one day at a time - it's better if I an focus on the moment. Many days I've just felt so despondent that I could just roll up into a ball - like a pill bug and stay that way. I feel my heart has turned black - but then the neighbor's cat comes in the window and my heart is lifted from the otherwise inability to feel or find meaning in anything. Seems I've been adopted - I know it may sound cliché but I do believe love conquers all.

 

Catt

Thanks for the reply. 14 mo... I dont know how you’ve done it. I don’t want to cry and feel hopeless one more day let alone months more. I know everyone’s timeline is different, but I get lost in my depression and feel it’s never going to end. I’ve had a fair amount of stress since this began and before frankly. Seems difficult to avoid but trying to minimize for sure. I’m pretty sure the stress triggers the wave, causes crying and perseverating aggravates it all. Vicious cycle.

Thank you for the support and encouragement, I really needed that 🙏

 

I just take it one day at a time - it's better if I an focus on the moment. Many days I've just felt so despondent that I could just roll up into a ball - like a pill bug and stay that way. I feel my heart has turned black - but then the neighbor's cat comes in the window and my heart is lifted from the otherwise inability to feel or find meaning in anything. Seems I've been adopted - I know it may sound cliché but I do believe love conquers all.

Catt,

Thanks for your reply.. Your heart WILL heal like everything else.

I struggle w the one day at a time bc ‘today’ I’m in pain... and I know tomorrow will bring suffering too ( even tho I pray every night that it doesn’t or that it eases up at least).

Animals are amazing for mood elevation and it’s so great you get that lift!! That’s a great sign! I agree about love and am thankful for those who love me from a distance ( limited local support). I try so hard to stay out of my head....

Let’s keep moving forward.... right? Today is a better start than last few days.. hope it sticks.. I’m tired of the emotional roller coaster!

 

I don’t know if this is really with drawl depression or my underlying depression? I didn’t feel depressed last night, actually felt good.... and today I got hit with an uncontrollable wave of deep depression I couldn’t pull myself out of… I can’t stand anymore of these waves. Is this really withdrawal? God I’m scared

 

It's hard to tell, I honestly don't know.  But I hope it's w/d depression.  Like you, I want my life back!