I wrote a poem about this withdrawal experience.

Hey everyone,

 

About a month ago when withdrawal was pretty harsh (with extreme insomnia and head pressure, and of course anxiety and depression), I decided to write down my thoughts and feelings on paper.  I am usually a decent writer but this was extremely difficult with the lack of sleep.  But I think these words will resonate with a lot of people on here, so here it is:

 

I try to reminisce to find a place of bliss. 

A time I miss, where I don’t just exist. 

A time when I am living and well, not dwelling in Hell.

A time when I smile and laugh... feel like I am missing my good half. 

Sick of this place stuck inside my head I wanna break through the walls, step outside, and be free.

Stuck in a death grip of anxiety, I can’t breathe.     

How can I dream when I can’t even sleep?

How can I keep on treading water when my arms are so weak?

How can I love when I can’t even feel? 

The damage is done. Will I ever heal? 

I am an experiment, a poisoned rat.   

No windows, only waves.

Oh God please help me out of this maze.

 

 

Thankfully at the 3 month off mark I am starting to see the light.  I am sleeping most nights 2-3hrs (much better than minutes to an hour most nights).  I even had a couple 4 hour nights the past week.  My depression and anxiety are starting to lift.  The only thing I am dealing with at an extreme level is the head pressure.  I want to thank the Buddies that really helped keep me alive over the past few months - MTFan, Aloha, LeslieAsh...  there are a few others that I have to remember (memory is not that sharp right now). 

 

Whatever you do, never give up!

-Eric

Great poem! Glad you are finally getting some sleep now! It helps a lot for sure. I hope it keeps getting better for you!!!

Nice poem.

Nice. I hope your sleep goes from 4 hours to nine hours.