Mindfulness, mastering your emotions, positive thinking

Hi all,

I am new here and at the end of my taper. This part is very difficult for me and I have noticed that I get really relaxed from watching (youtube) content on mindfulness and positive thinking. Ofcourse I also do the excercises and meditate, it is very difficult for me though.

For me, being in my head continuously, thinking and contemplating everything, is the main reason I've started using and abusing benzo's.

I have social anxiety and insomnia, most because I am always worried about what has happened and what will happen.

I am doing my utmost best to become more mindfull. Noticing I have extreme difficulty doing mindfulness meditating due to not being able to focus on the here and now and always worrying about past and future.

I coult not find anything over the search on this topic. It should not be new. If I have overlooked it all, my apologies.

This is by no means meant to oromite certain content, however it is free so could be okay. I really like the youtube channel from Leo where he talks about 'how to deal with strong negative emotions'.

Was really eye opening for me to hear what is my life: always avoiding to heaving to feal strong negative emotions. Always resisting hurt, nervousness, etc. while most of the pain comes from the energy of hiding my emotions.

Thanks for reading.

Hi all,

 

I am new here and at the end of my taper. This part is very difficult for me and I have noticed that I get really relaxed from watching (youtube) content on mindfulness and positive thinking. Ofcourse I also do the excercises and meditate, it is very difficult for me though.

 

For me, being in my head continuously, thinking and contemplating everything, is the main reason I've started using and abusing benzo's.

 

I have social anxiety and insomnia, most because I am always worried about what has happened and what will happen.

 

I am doing my utmost best to become more mindfull. Noticing I have extreme difficulty doing mindfulness meditating due to not being able to focus on the here and now and always worrying about past and future.

 

I coult not find anything over the search on this topic. It should not be new. If I have overlooked it all, my apologies.

 

This is by no means meant to oromite certain content, however it is free so could be okay. I really like the youtube channel from Leo where he talks about 'how to deal with strong negative emotions'.

 

Was really eye opening for me to hear what is my life: always avoiding to heaving to feal strong negative emotions. Always resisting hurt, nervousness, etc. while most of the pain comes from the energy of hiding my emotions.

 

Thanks for reading.

I had to smile while reading your post. Could be me 10 years ago...

Here is a little advice if you like it:-)

When you are a person who is acting a lot "with the brain /the head / thoughts"... you can try to go on with that and meditate and create other thoughts and re-write thoughts and so on... OR you just keep it simple. That means: Do things you don't need your brain/head at all. Sounds crazy. But for me, thats the way. I have made so many therapies, I discussed thoughts/thinking/behaviour bla bla bla. And then I learned that my system has other powerful instruments and that I don't need to exort myself all the time in order to get my feelings controlled.

The key for me is: let the thoughts co-exist, don't judge them. They live in your head, no need to get them out.

While the voices are talking in my head, I go for a walk, I work in the garden, I exercise, I cook. Thats how I started.

No need to "master emotions". With the time, your head will not be the higher priority any more. The more you can feel your body function, the less your brain is the first one to act.

I don't know if you have children or a pet? Perhaps you can imagine this situation: A kid is in a corner, anxiously and thinking and thinking and thinking ...spiralling... how would you get the kid into a better condition? Telling the kid to meditate or to control the thoughts? No. You would gently take his hand, put a toy into it and talk about the toy. Distracting and loving ... after a while, the kid would learn that a toy can help to overcome scary situations and it will learn to find himself own toys...

Sorry for my english, I hope its understandable what I mean..

best wishes!

Marigold

Thanks Marigold. However, I think that are aporoaches are not mutually exclusive, even more, what you suggest is to actually do more activities that require, are at least help me to be more in the moment. I think that can actually count as some sort of mindfulness training.

So yes I do agree with you. However, for me at the moment it is also a matter of conciously mastering my thougjts. Becoming aware of the fact that my mind is racing. Not resisting it, accepting and not fighting it.

For me, working a lot where I have to use my brain, and also numbing my brain for years with benzo's, it is a real shift in my lifestyle. Forst becoming aware that my mind is racing all the time. Further, doing activities where I get out of ky head and focus on my senses. Mindfulness meditation is one such activity, amongst many.

So to get back to your metaphor. I am that child that should be playing with his toys. However, I have grown so accustom to thinking, I will be playing with my hands and will be thinking about (mostly) problems while doing so.

For real behavioral change it is very helpful fir me to consiously soend 20 minutes a day focussing on my senses and to train my body and mind to live in the moment. That way I will far more easy play with the toys and be in the moment.

Hoping my answer somewhat clarifies my earlier post.

Thanks Marigold. However, I think that are aporoaches are not mutually exclusive, even more, what you suggest is to actually do more activities that require, are at least help me to be more in the moment. I think that can actually count as some sort of mindfulness training.

 

So yes I do agree with you. However, for me at the moment it is also a matter of conciously mastering my thougjts. Becoming aware of the fact that my mind is racing. Not resisting it, accepting and not fighting it.

 

For me, working a lot where I have to use my brain, and also numbing my brain for years with benzo's, it is a real shift in my lifestyle. Forst becoming aware that my mind is racing all the time. Further, doing activities where I get out of ky head and focus on my senses. Mindfulness meditation is one such activity, amongst many.

 

So to get back to your metaphor. I am that child that should be playing with his toys. However, I have grown so accustom to thinking, I will be playing with my hands and will be thinking about (mostly) problems while doing so.

 

For real behavioral change it is very helpful fir me to consiously soend 20 minutes a day focussing on my senses and to train my body and mind to live in the moment. That way I will far more easy play with the toys and be in the moment.

 

Hoping my answer somewhat clarifies my earlier post.

Hi buddy

yeah now I understand better. I must say that I often forget in what condition I was before my great journey.. I remember now that I had to train to realize that spiraling in my mind in the first place, too. Thank you for reminding me. I am a little bit ashamed now. 

Helpful were sessions of Tai Chi, do you know that? Slow movements AND breathing exercises.

I remember I did special walks, also, and just noted down in my head what I saw: Yellow flower, red house and so on..

If you are a "writer", you could write down thoughts without judging them and put them with the paper away..

The best thing to notice whats going on is doing only one thing coincidently. And ENJOY. When we enjoy things we train our mindfulness. I had to learn how to enjoy a cup of tea, fresh air, to look at a flower. I really trained it for one year. When we are able to enjoy no matter how we feel - and thats what we can learn! - its a gift that will help us through everything.

Another strategy, not for beginners, is acting paradoxically, a strategy that is still my favorite. When thoughts become overwhelming and some pictures don't get out of my head I add paradoxical stuff in my fantasy to these pictures. For example: I see myself ending up in the ER all the time. Now I take that picture and add a hippo to it. A hippo in the ER doesn't make sense.

The first thing that can happen now is that I get a kind of smile on my face. What always happen is, that your brain cannot hold that picture for too long. After practicing a while, this special thought will disappear because the brain is judging it in a different way.

Its good that you are now starting your own way - you will discover so much wonderful things inside and outside yourself.

Hi Marigold,

Thanks those are all very useful techniques indeed and great tools for getting more 'mindful' (for lack of a better word).

I must say that now all benzo's are out of my system, getting mindful outdoor is not at all that difficult. I have always been impressed by the clouds and the sky. After not seeing the sky fir what it truly is in 5 years, now seeing the full palat of colors and the contrasting greens in trees and grass is a joy that is really hard to describe. I know I have a hard time keeping my eyes away from the sky, which really is a good thing.

Cannot imagine people who've been on benzo's for 20+ years, what an amazing experience it must be to recover from that.

I once heard somebody say the withdrawel from opioids was like having the TV turned from black and white to full color, and I really think that is a nice metaphor because that truely is how I experience it.

It is only a shame that due to genetic desease I have lost a lot of my hearing over the last two years that I do not have that same experience auditoraly, even though I notice that I experience sounds more, I simply cannot hear anything under 50 dB.

Enough personal experience, I do believe mindfulness can help a lot of people during withdrawel. Also because it focusses on acceptance of certain feelings, and the fact that resisting fears and anxiety is the main reason they make you feel bad. It is very normal to feel anxious during and after withdrawel and even more normal that you have no real way of coping with those emotions simply because you have never had to while you were on benzo's (because you did not have these emotions).