Can you describe what your anxiety feels like?

Mine feels like my chest and stomach have been thrown into a running washer or dryer.  I am in a constant state of vigilance over any small pain, noise, or being startled by any and everything around me.  Constant state of worry and dread! Can anybody relate or have other symptoms of anxiety?

My stomach gets knotted up and my feet start to tingle, also I get very jittery and unable to relax or stay still.

Although I try to hide it I also get short tempered and things annoy me easily.

 

2trusting

feeling scared like your in a horror movie that is your life. you keep looking for the thing to jump out and kill you. but it never does so you jump at a draw being closed or a pen hitting the desk of a person starting to talk. everything startles you and you eventually just get exhausted and tired for no reason

Mine begins with tightness in my chest.  Sometimes very subtly.  If I can recognize it for what it is and make myself step back, breathe and really examine what I'm experiencing... that little bit of mindfulness can interrupt it.  *(This is a newly emerging skill for me though...)*  Since I began my taper, I began to write down symptoms, both physical and emotional.  This exercise is teaching me that I am able to control my anxiety if I can see it for what it is.  And yes, it's much easier said than done...

 

If I don't recognize it as my anxiety, it's not uncommon for me to start feeling like my heart is skipping beats, *(which freaks me out a little)*, and then I become short of breath, sweaty.  It feels like a thick velvet curtain is being dropped from above and everything gets heavier, darker, warmer, more intense - but not in a good way.  Best way to describe it for me is that sensation one gets just before one faints.  Once upon a time, I would have taken a Xanax at this point. 

 

I wear a little bracelet with movable beads.  The action of fidgeting, focusing on each bead as I'm moving it, is usually calming enough to help me re-center.  (But it doesn't work if I'm madly swishing the beads ... Being deliberate is what helps...)

 

If I haven't sat down, (or otherwise de-escalated myself), by this time, I'll get vertigo and then nausea, which basically forces me to stop, breathe -- but if it gets to this point, my day is usually dramatically interrupted.  Whatever physical thing is happening in my body at this point usually triggers a series of migraines that ends up being more crippling than the anxiety attack.

 

I'd be lying if I said I'm to the point where I no longer experience these bouts of anxiety/panic, but they are getting less intense and less frequent.  I'm really proud of myself that fidgeting with a bracelet, then writing the experience in my little journal is becoming enough.  And each time it happens, it reminds/assures me that I don't really need that little pill...

 

This is the worst feeling ever. I feel like I could crawl out of my skin. Not able to concentrate and emotional feelings of dread, heart racing and irrational thoughts. So grateful when it ends. I use guided meditation to help relieve the symptoms.

is all this from withdrawal?

no it is not all from withdrawal. I have had anxiety/depression for about 40 yrs. Have been trying to taper since mid may 2017 and my symptoms are just worse since then.  I cut to fast to begin and now just trying to cut 5% per month.  Thanks for your input!

so how do we know whats withdrawal and whats not?

is all this from withdrawal?

 

I never had these symptoms before benzos, (which for me was 20 years ago...)

 

My anxiety developed over that time, but it was insidious and I came to believe that I needed the Xanax in order to get through my day.  Now, in retrospect, I think that perhaps the benzo use caused my exacerbated physical response to anxiety.  (Maybe interdose withdrawal symptoms that I didn't recognize as such?)

 

I'm doing a slow taper, and if anything, I think that my overall state of anxiety is actually less than it was before I started on this path of mindfully reducing my dosage.  Sure, I still get anxious, but usually it's worse around the time of my next due dose - and it goes away when I medicate myself, so I know that I'm not actually having a heart attack  ... (well, plus I had a full cardiac workup & my ticker is strong... that affirmation was an important part of my ability to keep moving forward with a positive mindset.)

 

If it begins when I'm not due for a dose, then I try to acknowledge that I am anxious and look for (non-chemical) ways to cope.  (Sometimes I'm anxious for good reason and taking care of whatever issue is pressing is the best remedy.)

 

 

To me, it's chest pressure or head pressure(but never together lol) coupled with racing thoughts about being ill and an inability to sit still, I gotta pace or walk around. Concentration is extremely taxing and difficult and loud noises or too many people at this time bothers me.

 

I had lesser versions of this before benzos but withdrawal has made me ultra sensitive to stress

Mine begins with tightness in my chest.  Sometimes very subtly.  If I can recognize it for what it is and make myself step back, breathe and really examine what I'm experiencing... that little bit of mindfulness can interrupt it.  *(This is a newly emerging skill for me though...)*  Since I began my taper, I began to write down symptoms, both physical and emotional.  This exercise is teaching me that I am able to control my anxiety if I can see it for what it is.  And yes, it's much easier said than done...

 

If I don't recognize it as my anxiety, it's not uncommon for me to start feeling like my heart is skipping beats, *(which freaks me out a little)*, and then I become short of breath, sweaty.  It feels like a thick velvet curtain is being dropped from above and everything gets heavier, darker, warmer, more intense - but not in a good way.  Best way to describe it for me is that sensation one gets just before one faints.  Once upon a time, I would have taken a Xanax at this point. 

 

I wear a little bracelet with movable beads.  The action of fidgeting, focusing on each bead as I'm moving it, is usually calming enough to help me re-center.  (But it doesn't work if I'm madly swishing the beads ... Being deliberate is what helps...)

 

If I haven't sat down, (or otherwise de-escalated myself), by this time, I'll get vertigo and then nausea, which basically forces me to stop, breathe -- but if it gets to this point, my day is usually dramatically interrupted.  Whatever physical thing is happening in my body at this point usually triggers a series of migraines that ends up being more crippling than the anxiety attack.

 

I'd be lying if I said I'm to the point where I no longer experience these bouts of anxiety/panic, but they are getting less intense and less frequent.  I'm really proud of myself that fidgeting with a bracelet, then writing the experience in my little journal is becoming enough.  And each time it happens, it reminds/assures me that I don't really need that little pill...

 

 

This is awesome Janna...Boy can I relate to all you said. I love your courage and your intentional actions to get this right and MOST of all, NO MORE PILLS!!! I'm right there with you! 

is all this from withdrawal?

 

 

Good question and a question I ask myself every day about a 1000 times. I believe it is pretty much all withdrawal. I remember that period when I was off for 3 years, and I have been a lifetime user by the way, I was just much more flexible to handle anxious situations and to deal with anxiety in general and even big challenges or heavy ordeals. It was like the anxiety came but just 30 minutes later I could think my way out of it and within 1 hour I would be back to normal. Of course it didn't always happen that fast sometimes it took me many hours but still I had a natural protective anti stress layer and I could just shook stuff off of me and things happening in my life off of me without the use of a pill or dose of Valium or Xanax or whatever. Since I started using again and especially during tapering that natural protective layer is out the window if you please and I just need to rely on whatever dose I can still take. So yes it's all withdrawal because you just lost your natural protection against anxiety because of these pills.

First my breathing changes. Then my chest starts to feel fluttery and i feel like i want to puke. My gag reflex makes me feel like i want to gag. I want to freeze at times. Hard to talk. Can't eat. Want to flee at times. Feel trapped in my thoughts. Want to pop a pill but don't.

First the sick feeling comes, than more painful thingling in my head and scalp, breathing change, chest pain, feeling I getting heart attack, my arm goes num, my voice change, over all feeling this is it.

Hoping to heal and wish for all of you the same

Vica

For me, this morning, I feel like I drank 10 cups of coffee and I have air hunger. My teeth hurt from clenching them in the night. I am hyperstimulated and afraid, but also exhausted at the same time. I don't have the energy to get out and do much, despite the stimulant feeling. I feel trapped, waiting for it to pass. Trying to accept.

Newgrl: hav u tried a mouth guard to sleep with? I also clench my teeth and this has totally helped.

Mine is almost all completely in my head.  I will basically start to shut down.  I have racing and repetitive thoughts.  I will pace or if it's bad, i will stand or sit still and my mind will just race.  All the thoughts are negative. 

 

I do notice when i'm mindful that i tense my muscles.  My shoulders will be tensed up.  I'll usually have my hands in a fist if i'm not fidgeting with them (rubbing them together). 

 

Every single time i think it's something new.  I ALWAYS believe that this time it's not a panic attack and it's an actual health related issue.  I always think it will turn out terribly.  I always think that this is the worst yet and i'll end up in some sort of terrible state.

 

I am ALWAYS wrong.  It is ALWAYS just anxiety.  And it is very difficult to teach myself that.

Recently i've been put on a couple meds that i'm not super excited about, so i end up blaming the meds.  I try to say "this is a side effect of the medicine" and then i go down that path. 

 

It is always just anxiety.

I've had anxiety my entire life. At varying points it has been better or worse, and I have dealt with it in a variety of ways.

 

I worry worry worry about EVERYTHING, I am hyper vigilant, I startle easily, I ruminate on things on the past and in the future that I have no control over and I let it ruin my present. I am practicing training my mind to focus on more positive things than focusing on difficulties in my life, because I worry a lot about my health, and virtually every aspect of life.

(CBT, EMDR and medications have helped alleviate some of these symptoms.)

 

I get panic attacks randomly with no warning. They are never about anything, all the sudden my heart starts beating fast, palpitating, sweating, trembling and I just want to crawl out of my skin. Purely a physical manifestation, not at all associated with any triggering tboughts. Sometimes this state will last for hours (All this started LONG before I ever took a benzo or any psychiatric drug. )

 

Leaving my house is difficult, unless I have  my husband with me. I prefer to stay in my peaceful quite bedroom, more than anywhere else. I do love to drive again, and when I do, I enjoy it. But I don't drive often.

 

I get very anxious in the presence of certain people, family, friends, or strangers. So I tend to cut those people out of my life or avoid/ ignore them which helps.

 

I am very anxious when it comes to germs or disease. I get anxious about illness, sick people hospitals, Dr's, and nurses. Every time I go to the Dr. I have to come home wash the bottoms of my shoes, change my clothes, take a shower and clean anything I may have touched.

 

I am now having anxiety around eating and illness due to a severe salmonella infection I acquired from a chain restaraunt.

 

Right now waiting to see if recent test results show I have cancer. Im sure ai dont but my ruminating mind likes to twist and turn that fear until I am sick with worry.

So then, I go try and distract my mind with something positive,creative,or practical.

 

I still have a lot of anxiety, years of therapy and medications haven't helped cure me. But they have helped.

 

My biology is not wired to live in this wired world.

 

I think I've experienced different types of anxiety on the last 7 years.

 

Right now, it manifests as a complete lack of connection with the real world. Sometimes, I feel like I've lost even my time sense. I mean, events that happened a few hours ago seem like years from now to me, sometimes it doesn't even feel like it actually happened. I feel static, my vision fails every once in a while, it's like there's a curtain of dust in front of my eyes. Sometimes, I feel like I'm trying to figure out who I am but I'm still very empty, I don't feel joy while doing the things I used to do.

Some months ago it reached a point where it was affecting my personal relations. I had these mood swings and felt very angry very easily, usually for dumb reasons. I was thinking about discribing my current state as ''being outside of my body'', but I concluded it's not that, at all. It's like I am in this body and there's absolutely nothing inside of it. I feel hollow. I find myself constantly questioning my feelings and wondering if they're legitimate.

 

 

 

Starts off with vague chest tightness which increases to a ripping out my heart and lungs feeling.  Intense chest pressure.  Extreme shaky nervousness.  Heart rate increases, feeling of air bubbles in my heart, palpitations. Can't stay still so start pacing or at the very least bouncing or twitching my feet.  Electrical shocks down my arms. Tense shoulders. Avoid noise and any people. Afraid of everything and anything.  Jump at the slightest noise.  Cannot leave my room or bed. Develope agoraphobia and social phobia. Afraid to shower-don't know why.  Ultra sensitive to sharp noises, voices or what anyone says.  Feel completely debilitated mentally and physically. Chemical fear that has no situational basis or relation to real world. Super irritability.  Lose my voice and goes weak, quiet and hoarse.  I could go on and on...it's horrific.  My anxiety can feel like the absolute worst symptom after constant suicidal ideation.

Although mine is FINALLY lessening, I have felt anxiety in my head, my stomach, and my blood pressure, which would go up incredibly high. It's bad enough dealing with anxiety by itself, but when you know your bp is going sky high in the process, it's like a double whammy. I would get very short-tempered because I was incredibly afraid. I used to pace. The anxiety sometimes led to adrenaline coursing through my body, which was terrible. My stomach knotted up, and I could feel pressure in my frontal lobe. I tended to eat a lot at these times, depending on how bad the anxiety was, especially carbs, just to settle down. If I had low-grade anxiety, I'd take a walk, which helped a great deal. But for high anxiety, I'd stay at home, too afraid to go out, listen to a soothing tape, and take more bp meds than I normally take. The tape and bp meds helped to calm me down pretty much. If the anxiety was too high and I couldn't eat, then I'd usually end up in the ER. Been there a lot!

Mine feels like one side of my body is cringing like when someone scratches a chalkboard only a million times worse. I usually dont have have symptoms on both sides at once. My heart races and I fear trying to sleep or not sleep. I get into all kind of pisitions to try and alliviate it. Sometimes laying on my stomach helps for awhile or sitting up in a fetal position.