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DP/DR Support group


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Someone started a similar thread back in 2015 so I thought I'd start a fresh one.

 

DP/DR is by far my worst symptom. It is ironic that it is meant to be the brain's protective mechanism kicking in yet it has to be one of the most awful things to experience. I would  choose terror / fight or flight over DP/DR any day.

 

Are there many out there who suffer from this, and if so what stage are you at (tolerance withdrawal, tapering, post jump?).

 

I'm over half way through my taper off of valium and DP/DR is by far my worst symptom.

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I hear you! DP/DR is also my worst symptom. I'm almost 5 days into my 3rd cut from K, and while I am doing it faster than typical, I haven't had any debilitating symptoms yet, aside from pretty bad DP/DR. Anxiety is only up a little this cut. I'm expecting for the DP/DR to hit next week and the following week (weeks 2 and 3 following my most recent cut). It's a horrible feeling -- but it was weird last cut, I almost adapted to that sense of having a thick wall of fog between my thinking brain and my interacting-in-the-world brain. And I got used to forcing myself to jump in between thinking, and interacting with people/the world. It was very bizarre, and probably the worst symptom that I've ever had from medication. I'd take increased depression over DP/DR any day, and I don't say that lightly, as I've suffered from severe depression for almost my entire life.
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I hear you! DP/DR is also my worst symptom. I'm almost 5 days into my 3rd cut from K, and while I am doing it faster than typical, I haven't had any debilitating symptoms yet, aside from pretty bad DP/DR. Anxiety is only up a little this cut. I'm expecting for the DP/DR to hit next week and the following week (weeks 2 and 3 following my most recent cut). It's a horrible feeling -- but it was weird last cut, I almost adapted to that sense of having a thick wall of fog between my thinking brain and my interacting-in-the-world brain. And I got used to forcing myself to jump in between thinking, and interacting with people/the world. It was very bizarre, and probably the worst symptom that I've ever had from medication. I'd take increased depression over DP/DR any day, and I don't say that lightly, as I've suffered from severe depression for almost my entire life.

 

You're right.. I would swap DP/DR with almost any symptom.. is there anything you do or take that helps with it? I feel like I've tried everything under the sun - both medicinally and otherwise.. I totally relate with the interacting with the world brain.. if only there was a way to flick a switch in the brain..

 

Cheers

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  • 1 month later...
Oh hey there.  I have this.  So much DP.  I often feel like I just arrived in this body and only just got the memories of this person's life that I am now supposed to live.  I feel like I am living out some science fiction story.
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  • 2 weeks later...

This has just recently come back for me this week.  Also, I'm not sure about loss of memory versus feeling like those memories are not mine.  This happens to me a lot where even though I remember something, it's as if I doubt the memory is actually true, because I don't feel like it is my memory.  This is weird because duh, how else did those memories get in my head? 

 

I have also been mixing stuff up a lot lately.  For example I mixed up the person I had a conversation with, even though I remembered all the details to the conversation, up to the point where someone showed me the video they were watching on their computer, and I remember being at their desk, however, it was a different person, and they showed me the video they were watching from their phone.  It's gets so confusing.  This isn't even important stuff but I'm all muddled about it.

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  • 3 weeks later...
Anyone get distorted perception of size of different parts of the body with this?  It's chronic with me, so it could just be that I've had a lot of time to analyze it.
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  • 3 weeks later...

I started to take diazepam because of derealization, but that DR didn't have much in common with DR I have now. Benzo induced DR started after some 2 months of taking benzo. After 3 months it was so bad that I stopped taking benzo.

My DR before and at the beginning of taking benzo was different, more like I couldn't focus, felt dizzy and disconnected like there's invisible veil between me and the world. It was bad, but not this bad.

Right now it's obvious to me that I'm mostly cured from my stress induced DR while this benzo DR pulled me into another dimension of existence where world seems completely different. I have better and worse moments, but it's really very scary shit.

I have other symptoms, but this one is the worst. When I look outside the window and feel like I'm in some surreal world on another planet it's really terrible and inhumane experience. Almost 4 months off and I see some improvements and had some windows where I could tolerate DR, but if only DR would go away completely I would be happy guy again even with the rest of the symptoms.

 

I had it also benzo induced back in 2010/2011, but that's a long story. I was completely recovered back then.

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Does anyone else feel surprised at strange things humans do?  Even though you KNOW that you have been human all this time, and logically, this shouldn't be suddenly surprising you.

 

 

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[75...]

what is the difference between dp/dr and emotional bluntness...I dont know if I'm having dp or just numb to everything because of depression.

 

 

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I feel like I'm living in an alternate universe.  In fact, I know I am.

 

Same here. It's weird and scary crap.

 

I've been thinking maybe there are many many planets out there like ours or other life supporting planets and we are all connected, in life and our dna and purposes are all connected.  So our memories, are not just of our own actual life but maybe also things that happened on other planets. 

 

And also I think how Earth could be one small part of a larger organism and in order for this larger thing to fight off some ailment they have to get the people on the Earth to stop polluting so much so they basically get a fever to kill off the right things, which is how climate change came to be.

 

I don't think I know any if this, but I think about stuff like this an awful lot lately.

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I feel like I'm living in an alternate universe.  In fact, I know I am.

 

Same here. It's weird and scary crap.

 

I've been thinking maybe there are many many planets out there like ours or other life supporting planets and we are all connected, in life and our dna and purposes are all connected.  So our memories, are not just of our own actual life but maybe also things that happened on other planets. 

 

And also I think how Earth could be one small part of a larger organism and in order for this larger thing to fight off some ailment they have to get the people on the Earth to stop polluting so much so they basically get a fever to kill off the right things, which is how climate change came to be.

 

I don't think I know any if this, but I think about stuff like this an awful lot lately.

 

Everything is possible in this vast universe, but what you think these days is mostly coming from benzo brain :)

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  • 1 month later...

I am just into 2nd month off after almost 20 years on diazepam and the DP &DR are horrific.

 

I can't feel the inside of my body at all and my sense of touch is distant as if there is a layer of spongevover eveythingbor my nerve endings don't go to the end of my fingers. My body and my life feel completely unreal to me and I keep thinking I am in a nightmare and will wake up.

 

I'm getting the body changing shape and size that was mentioned and I totally get the 'paralell universe' thing. In the worst moments I start to belive I have died and gone somewhere else or that my life before illness and diazepam was never real in the first place or I'm in the Matrix and all the code is breaking down.

 

I've been through a lot of bad things in my life but this is THE WORST.

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[f4...]
Is there ANY way to normalize This? I tell myself over and over and over again that it isn't dangerous but I'm still terrified by it.
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I felt like I was in an alternate universe for most of August...then I would see orbs of light...it's def. lifted...so I hope it gets better for everyone. I still have times where I look down and when I look up I have NO IDEA where I am. Like - is this life? Creeps me out and then I freak out.  Today I hate the world - nothing brings me happiness. Everything sucks. Everyone says this is your brain healing - soooo surreal and weird. Never ever ever had depression prior to ativan withdrawal. And I too have been through some bad shit, but this takes the cake. Someone wrote on article about how their breast cancer was a walk in the park compared to benzo wd. I hope I never go through the other, but this is rough.
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[f4...]
I HATE that feeling of being disoriented and having to like think of what I was doing just five seconds ago (and sometimes replay my whole day in my head). I start to freak out and think "WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING ALL DAY?" as I cannot remember. This is so scary and it never, ever gets tolerable.
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I HATE that feeling of being disoriented and having to like think of what I was doing just five seconds ago (and sometimes replay my whole day in my head). I start to freak out and think "WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING ALL DAY?" as I cannot remember. This is so scary and it never, ever gets tolerable.

Hey Fuzzy!

swammi01 here, I have read many of your posts before but I decided to look up your story.

 

Sounds like you have really been through the ringer. Three different Benzos before you were able to start cutting.

 

I also suffer from extreme forgetfulness. Suddenly find myself standing in a room, with no idea why I came in there. Sometimes I forget what the room  I was in just before. Try and figure that one out.

 

So, blessings to you. And I hope that the rest of your taper goes well. I am getting ready to jump in a month.

 

TommyB

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  • 3 weeks later...

OMG, so I'm reading this thread and when I read my old posts, it FEELS LIKE SOMEONE ELSE WROTE THAT.  I feel so crazy.  :crazy:

 

Hi Greencup,

 

Did your DP/DR eventually clear up? I withdrew from my antidepressant in August, and I've had DP/DR constantly for 5 straight months with no windows. Have you seen progress with yours?

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  • 2 weeks later...

I've struggled with this for 17 years, I've had breaks from it at one point I was dare I say normal, I was tapering and doing well. I had a panic attack at work I hadn't had one in a long time and after that they started happening daily, the dR/dp came back.

 

I obessivly think about how  my body moves , like how do I know to even type. I am  scared this us a dream, well a nightmare. I look at my friends and family,  even my kids and they almost seem like strangers. I am questionin if I see the real world, it's the worst during a panic attack and sadly xanax is the only thing that bring me down to normal. I fee, trapped.  I just want met life back

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Hey y'all!  Ok...so, I walk in my closet and look at the clothes hanging there and it feels like they belong to someone else.  When I have to really dress up, i.e.,  go to church, I don't know what to put on or what goes with what.  It's as if the clothes aren't mine and I don't know what to do with them or how to wear them.  What is this?  Is it DP, DR, something else?  I used to be a clothes horse and so have a lot of pieces.  I'm baffled by it all now.  I wonder if I'll ever understand my closet again or feel comfortable wearing my clothes??
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