LOVE DURING WD

HELLO BUDDIES,

 

I WOULD LIKE TO ASK YOU ABOUT LOVE AND BENZO TAPERING?

 

IN THE LAST 2 YEARS I WENT THRU 2 ENGAGEMENTS (YES, I AM THE WOMAN OF THE RINGS) AND I WANT TO LOVE AGAIN. I DONT KNOW IF DURING TAPERING IS OK TO DATE AND FEEL LOVED?

I FEEL INSECURE ABOUT MYSELF BECAUSE I DONT KNOW HOW LONG IT WILL TAKE TO BE MYSELF AGAIN.

WHAT DO YOU THINK? ANY LOVE STORIES DURING TAPERING OR WD

 

LATINA BUDDY

Your lucky you still have the capacity to love. I'm dead inside from these drugs

Honestly, I can't believe my SO is still around after this past month. I couldn't imagine trying to meet someone new and dating but on the flip side, if they meet you like this and still love you, then I guess they'll know you at your worst and it can only get better from there (in theory).

 

What I would worry about in trying to date right now if I were single is that unhealthy people attract unhealthy people.  If you are not in a good place, it might be hard to attract people that are, but there's a lot of variables in that.

 

I'm torn on whether it might be a useful distraction for someone during w/d or tapering, or if it would be harder to focus on yourself and care for yourself.  If you are the sort of person (I would imagine most people are) that a failed relationship right now could set you back in your journey of healing then I personally would try to wait it out.  If you are feeling insecure right now, and withdrawing at the same time, then you might be more likely to a) attract the wrong person since you're not at your best and some people can spot an insecure person a mile away and dive in to take advantage of that and b) your judgment may be clouded in making such an important decision as to who you want in your life and the wrong person could set you back and cause a relapse or just added stress in a time when that's the last thing you need.

 

I wish you luck in your journey whether you decide to date or not.

You're doing great on your tapering.

 

I'd say sure, go for it. The point of tapering off and healing is so you can enjoy life again!

 

Yes, It is possible...

 

I am 27 and only had two relationships before benzos. I met my boyfriend this year in January at 3 months off. I first tried to hide withdrawal but what was I thinking. He moved in with me a few weeks ago. We have been together everyday since January. I think this relationship is a lot more serious because of my withdrawal. He knows all my bad spots. And I know he is really there for me and he has already proven himself so much now already.

Yeah, I also want to love during WD. Myself.

 

Went through one benzo WD in 2002. Met my future husband (now ex) in May 2003. But I was in love since Jan. 2003 with another man. A "sobering" alcoholic. Who turned out to have Othello Syndrome.

 

And almost killed me in a fit of rage due to his absurd jealousy.

 

I was off classic benzos since Jan. 2003. Off ADs.

 

Fell madly in love in May 2003. Will never forget when I first saw my future husband. All those endorphins... Wonderful. Yeah, we spent 11 reasonably happy yrs together. But divorced.

 

He was not the type of man I would want to spend the rest of my life with. Prefer to be alone if I have to. I'm not even sure if it's possible for us to remain friends. I keep my distance. Hurt me too many times.

 

If I were to advise you. Do not get involved until you're completely stable and off benzos for several mos. Or a year.

 

In order to be able to receive love, you have to love yourself.

 

Now you'll attract all the wrong ppl. They'll detect your vulnerabilities and weaknesses. Your judgement is impaired by WD and psych meds.

 

Friendship - yes. Love - no. Sex - no.

 

This is my experience. Start by loving yourself and expanding your support network of sobering addicts.

 

Do not get lured by those endorphins. You'll suffer and compromise your WD. Not worth it.

 

If he really loves you. He'll hang around till you're stable. Even if it means years. Don't get fixated on any male. It's moronic in your situation.

 

Oh, and are are many other fascinating things you can fill the void left by benzos with. Just start looking for them. Things you'll get passionate about.

 

width=420 height=89https://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/4;54;93/st/20160228/e/last+damn+Ambien+pill/dt/6/k/5848/event.png[/img]

I never lost my sex drive since this whole ordeal, in fact I think it has increased. i am too messed up to even think about a relationship

I never lost my sex drive since this whole ordeal, in fact I think it has increased. i am too messed up to even think about a relationship

 

I hear ya bud  , not to be a downer but this seems like playing with fire. relationships are hard when your healthy let alone when we are one cuckoo away from the nest in most peoples eyes. There's a girl at work who is flirting a fair bit and setting up space for us in business time. oh would I like to explore that but how exactly do you say:

 

"hey just letting you know that I'm in withdrawal from hard prescription drugs"

 

significant other -  "ewww, like heroin? how long like 1 month"

 

"no, Harder"

 

I think that would be the end of that convo/affair. And then my secret would be out.

 

I'm all ears if others have stories though, always an optimist 

 

 

Your lucky you still have the capacity to love. I'm dead inside from these drugs

 

Hello Dear,

 

Im sorry that it took a lot to answer. I don't know how to use this forum very well. I fell that I am also dead inside... sometimes I want to love someone or something. You will get better with time.

 

Love,

Latina

Honestly, I can't believe my SO is still around after this past month. I couldn't imagine trying to meet someone new and dating but on the flip side, if they meet you like this and still love you, then I guess they'll know you at your worst and it can only get better from there (in theory).

 

What I would worry about in trying to date right now if I were single is that unhealthy people attract unhealthy people.  If you are not in a good place, it might be hard to attract people that are, but there's a lot of variables in that.

 

I'm torn on whether it might be a useful distraction for someone during w/d or tapering, or if it would be harder to focus on yourself and care for yourself.  If you are the sort of person (I would imagine most people are) that a failed relationship right now could set you back in your journey of healing then I personally would try to wait it out.  If you are feeling insecure right now, and withdrawing at the same time, then you might be more likely to a) attract the wrong person since you're not at your best and some people can spot an insecure person a mile away and dive in to take advantage of that and b) your judgment may be clouded in making such an important decision as to who you want in your life and the wrong person could set you back and cause a relapse or just added stress in a time when that's the last thing you need.

 

I wish you luck in your journey whether you decide to date or not.

 

Hello dear,

 

Thanks for your answer. It really helped me because I realised I am not at the best place to date. I still need to accept myself, to overcome my past y to live happy just by loving myself. The thing is that takes time. I am the type of anxious person. I was just wandering what might have been to date during WD. But really I cant take emotions.. even if they are good ones... For all of you: its better to wait after WD to date someone.... maybe during recovery....

 

Thanks again...

lots of hugs

You're doing great on your tapering.

 

I'd say sure, go for it. The point of tapering off and healing is so you can enjoy life again!

 

Hello dear,

 

Good point. I just realised that its better to wait after WD. We are in a difficult process. Our body and brain is changing and we all know we think crazy things. I had the opportunity to be all alone in the middle of nowhere during my WD process. I am just with family members. I would like to enjoy life again with someone. but I think will be difficult to find someone who can understand myself. I mean, I would like to find someone who i can trust and share what I have been thru. A person like that is worth having.

 

xoxo

Yes, It is possible...

 

I am 27 and only had two relationships before benzos. I met my boyfriend this year in January at 3 months off. I first tried to hide withdrawal but what was I thinking. He moved in with me a few weeks ago. We have been together everyday since January. I think this relationship is a lot more serious because of my withdrawal. He knows all my bad spots. And I know he is really there for me and he has already proven himself so much now already.

 

Hello dear,

 

I am really impressed by your story. I will be off tomorrow and I started to feel better already. I am happy but afraid of what might happen... I would love to meet someone who can understand my process. I think its difficult to find that person but when you find it, you will be so happy. I have a concern.. how do you tell him you were on WD? because sometimes I feel they might think that we are kind of weak WD from a drug... like a drug addict...

 

Best,

 

Latina

Yeah, I also want to love during WD. Myself.

 

Went through one benzo WD in 2002. Met my future husband (now ex) in May 2003. But I was in love since Jan. 2003 with another man. A "sobering" alcoholic. Who turned out to have Othello Syndrome.

 

And almost killed me in a fit of rage due to his absurd jealousy.

 

I was off classic benzos since Jan. 2003. Off ADs.

 

Fell madly in love in May 2003. Will never forget when I first saw my future husband. All those endorphins... Wonderful. Yeah, we spent 11 reasonably happy yrs together. But divorced.

 

He was not the type of man I would want to spend the rest of my life with. Prefer to be alone if I have to. I'm not even sure if it's possible for us to remain friends. I keep my distance. Hurt me too many times.

 

If I were to advise you. Do not get involved until you're completely stable and off benzos for several mos. Or a year.

 

In order to be able to receive love, you have to love yourself.

 

Now you'll attract all the wrong ppl. They'll detect your vulnerabilities and weaknesses. Your judgement is impaired by WD and psych meds.

 

Friendship - yes. Love - no. Sex - no.

 

This is my experience. Start by loving yourself and expanding your support network of sobering addicts.

 

Do not get lured by those endorphins. You'll suffer and compromise your WD. Not worth it.

 

If he really loves you. He'll hang around till you're stable. Even if it means years. Don't get fixated on any male. It's moronic in your situation.

 

Oh, and are are many other fascinating things you can fill the void left by benzos with. Just start looking for them. Things you'll get passionate about.

 

width=420 height=89https://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt/d/4;54;93/st/20160228/e/last+damn+Ambien+pill/dt/6/k/5848/event.png[/img]

 

Hello Estee,

 

I really love your post. Its true we should love during WD, we can make mistakes and delayed the process. You are wise.

I just had a few good friends who helped to go thru these moments. All my friends were basically online because I didn't want to see anyone. I am just with family members and its hard for me to engage with outsiders. I remember once that I couldnt order a meal in Mcdonals... my mind was very blurry... I am learning to be a person again, to engage in conversations... I went from being a "social person" to an "anti-social".

What about sex? NOUP.

I learning to love myself and until I don't love myself 100 percent I wont be ready to be with someone.

 

Lots of hugs,

Latina

I never lost my sex drive since this whole ordeal, in fact I think it has increased. i am too messed up to even think about a relationship

 

I hear ya bud  , not to be a downer but this seems like playing with fire. relationships are hard when your healthy let alone when we are one cuckoo away from the nest in most peoples eyes. There's a girl at work who is flirting a fair bit and setting up space for us in business time. oh would I like to explore that but how exactly do you say:

 

"hey just letting you know that I'm in withdrawal from hard prescription drugs"

 

significant other -  "ewww, like heroin? how long like 1 month"

 

"no, Harder"

 

I think that would be the end of that convo/affair. And then my secret would be out.

 

I'm all ears if others have stories though, always an optimist 

 

Hello Pinky,

 

Thanks for your post. Well, I don't think that dating during WD is ideal but I think that you are able to work you might be in a good shape to date. I mean, most of us can barely go thru a day and you can work: that means than you are better than you thought.

Of course its hard to tell someone what you are going thru because they are not going to understand. Take your time, maybe just flirt with her and wait until you are fully recover to make a desicion. Remember that what we want today its not what we will want in a few months. Our brains are changing daily with this process. So give it some time!! you will be free soon!!!

I never lost my sex drive since this whole ordeal, in fact I think it has increased. i am too messed up to even think about a relationship

 

Hello,

 

I don't think we lose our sex drive... but we are not in place to start a relationship.

 

Best,

Latina

I never lost my sex drive since this whole ordeal, in fact I think it has increased. i am too messed up to even think about a relationship

 

I hear ya bud  , not to be a downer but this seems like playing with fire. relationships are hard when your healthy let alone when we are one cuckoo away from the nest in most peoples eyes. There's a girl at work who is flirting a fair bit and setting up space for us in business time. oh would I like to explore that but how exactly do you say:

 

"hey just letting you know that I'm in withdrawal from hard prescription drugs"

 

significant other -  "ewww, like heroin? how long like 1 month"

 

"no, Harder"

 

I think that would be the end of that convo/affair. And then my secret would be out.

 

I'm all ears if others have stories though, always an optimist 

 

Hello Pinky,

 

Thanks for your post. Well, I don't think that dating during WD is ideal but I think that you are able to work you might be in a good shape to date. I mean, most of us can barely go thru a day and you can work: that means than you are better than you thought.

Of course its hard to tell someone what you are going thru because they are not going to understand. Take your time, maybe just flirt with her and wait until you are fully recover to make a desicion. Remember that what we want today its not what we will want in a few months. Our brains are changing daily with this process. So give it some time!! you will be free soon!!!

 

Hey latina

 

Lovely post and very sincere thank you. I was jesting out of frustration but you are 100% right. I am better than most in the fact that I can work and I should focus on the positive and stay open-minded. Jeeze flirting  , something so normal and yet is like a faint memory. I cant even remember how to do it its been a year. I feel like a young schoolboy all over again its embarrassing. heres to hoping its like riding a bike and comes back with practice

 

Wishing you well latina 

I'd like to love and am ready for it, I think. My problem is I forgot how to "date" after being married for 20 years. The guys who seem interested in me are 20 years older. I tried that online dating site and the two who replied to be turned out to be scammers who wanted my money and a cheap trip to become a US Citizen. It say I am flustered is an understatement. The other guys who seem wealthy are looking for someone their daughter's age. And a model.

I tried that online dating site ... The other guys who seem wealthy are looking for someone their daughter's age. And a model.

What dating site is that? sugardaddy.com ?

I think it was called:

 

dontapplyifugly.com.

I don’t believe one can find love online anymore. I dated two boyfriends whom I met online. Was very fond of one of them. We stuck together for a few yrs. It was long ago, at the uni. But times are different.

 

I also think we terribly need those endorphins, cause our whole brain chemistry is screwed up by psych meds. I guess if one isn’t able to love oneself, it doesn’t make sense to actively look for a partner.

 

All we’re capable of in the early stages of WD is infatuation, not love. My dream is to pursue my passion in life. This will give my life a meaning. It is more important than to fall in love again. I don’t need other ppl to make me happy. I need to find happiness within.

I know of one buddie here found her hubby on match.com. Seems they are very happy and have been married for years. I think she might be the exception.

I never lost my sex drive since this whole ordeal, in fact I think it has increased. i am too messed up to even think about a relationship

 

I hear ya bud  , not to be a downer but this seems like playing with fire. relationships are hard when your healthy let alone when we are one cuckoo away from the nest in most peoples eyes. There's a girl at work who is flirting a fair bit and setting up space for us in business time. oh would I like to explore that but how exactly do you say:

 

"hey just letting you know that I'm in withdrawal from hard prescription drugs"

 

significant other -  "ewww, like heroin? how long like 1 month"

 

"no, Harder"

 

I think that would be the end of that convo/affair. And then my secret would be out.

 

I'm all ears if others have stories though, always an optimist 

 

Hello Pinky,

 

Thanks for your post. Well, I don't think that dating during WD is ideal but I think that you are able to work you might be in a good shape to date. I mean, most of us can barely go thru a day and you can work: that means than you are better than you thought.

Of course its hard to tell someone what you are going thru because they are not going to understand. Take your time, maybe just flirt with her and wait until you are fully recover to make a desicion. Remember that what we want today its not what we will want in a few months. Our brains are changing daily with this process. So give it some time!! you will be free soon!!!

 

Hey latina

 

Lovely post and very sincere thank you. I was jesting out of frustration but you are 100% right. I am better than most in the fact that I can work and I should focus on the positive and stay open-minded. Jeeze flirting  , something so normal and yet is like a faint memory. I cant even remember how to do it its been a year. I feel like a young schoolboy all over again its embarrassing. heres to hoping its like riding a bike and comes back with practice

 

Wishing you well latina 

 

Hello dear,

 

I am glad that you are thinking about meeting new people. I am like a month off klonopin but I lost the interest in meeting new people or dating. I have been thru a lot with crazy relationships that i don't know if I will be able to fall in love again with someone. I am in my best years of life but still don't want to meet or date friends or people. I think the phrase "what do you do? or how are you?" its hard to answer and I don't like to lie.

 

Let us know how your date goes!!

 

best,

 

Latina

I don’t believe one can find love online anymore. I dated two boyfriends whom I met online. Was very fond of one of them. We stuck together for a few yrs. It was long ago, at the uni. But times are different.

 

I also think we terribly need those endorphins, cause our whole brain chemistry is screwed up by psych meds. I guess if one isn’t able to love oneself, it doesn’t make sense to actively look for a partner.

 

All we’re capable of in the early stages of WD is infatuation, not love. My dream is to pursue my passion in life. This will give my life a meaning. It is more important than to fall in love again. I don’t need other ppl to make me happy. I need to find happiness within.

 

Hello Estee,

 

Thanks for posting.

I really liked your post. I think you are right... if we cant love ourselves, we cant love someone new!!! However, we still love our family and friends.

I would love to find a partner because I would like to share my life with someone but I also need to find my true purpose too. Life its hard... we have been thru a lot and well I think that its not going to be easy to find someone who understand us completely... Im afraid because I dont want to lose more loved ones in my life... in the meantime I give my love to my family and my lovely dog. Times will show me who is worth to be with.

 

Love,

 

Latina

I never lost my sex drive since this whole ordeal, in fact I think it has increased. i am too messed up to even think about a relationship

 

I hear ya bud  , not to be a downer but this seems like playing with fire. relationships are hard when your healthy let alone when we are one cuckoo away from the nest in most peoples eyes. There's a girl at work who is flirting a fair bit and setting up space for us in business time. oh would I like to explore that but how exactly do you say:

 

"hey just letting you know that I'm in withdrawal from hard prescription drugs"

 

significant other -  "ewww, like heroin? how long like 1 month"

 

"no, Harder"

 

I think that would be the end of that convo/affair. And then my secret would be out.

 

I'm all ears if others have stories though, always an optimist 

 

Hello Pinky,

 

Thanks for your post. Well, I don't think that dating during WD is ideal but I think that you are able to work you might be in a good shape to date. I mean, most of us can barely go thru a day and you can work: that means than you are better than you thought.

Of course its hard to tell someone what you are going thru because they are not going to understand. Take your time, maybe just flirt with her and wait until you are fully recover to make a desicion. Remember that what we want today its not what we will want in a few months. Our brains are changing daily with this process. So give it some time!! you will be free soon!!!

 

Hey latina

 

Lovely post and very sincere thank you. I was jesting out of frustration but you are 100% right. I am better than most in the fact that I can work and I should focus on the positive and stay open-minded. Jeeze flirting  , something so normal and yet is like a faint memory. I cant even remember how to do it its been a year. I feel like a young schoolboy all over again its embarrassing. heres to hoping its like riding a bike and comes back with practice

 

Wishing you well latina 

 

Hello dear,

 

I am glad that you are thinking about meeting new people. I am like a month off klonopin but I lost the interest in meeting new people or dating. I have been thru a lot with crazy relationships that i don't know if I will be able to fall in love again with someone. I am in my best years of life but still don't want to meet or date friends or people. I think the phrase "what do you do? or how are you?" its hard to answer and I don't like to lie.

 

Let us know how your date goes!!

 

best,

 

Latina

 

Hello dear,

 

I know like 4 couple who are married thru match.com

 

I think its fate and luck

 

xoxo

I know of one buddie here who did that on match and is happily married still.