Over 60 help and support.

Inspiring everybody!  Thanks for posting here. 

As each day passes we move one step closer to wellness and happiness.

Stay strong.

How wonderful to see so many in our age group who took the plunge to get off these horrible meds.  I'm 64 and still tapering but getting closer to the end.  I do not have a long history with ativan but it sure got its claws in me in a short time.

I met a dr at an anxiety and depression seminar who says she refuses to prescribe benzos as they "are just too dangerous." 

 

Someone asked earlier about benzos for surgery.  If you are concerned just state you do not want them.  There are many non-benzo anesthetic agents that can be used instead.  My favorite is propofol.  It is short acting, very effective and doesn't leave you hung over for hours.  (I'm a nurse who does conscious sedation.)

 

Good luck to everyone.

 

Thanks Gingermint. That is good to know.

Bluetruck62 I am not quite finished tapering at less than 1mg Valium. My major difficuly is with gi issues too. It impacts my life every day and I get very discouraged. I am 72 yrs young and enjoy going to the gym but 26yrs of benzo use has destroyed my bowel. I too am looking forwarx to this getting better. It helps to know that we are not alone. Sure hope it gets better.

I've been going to the gym every day for years, though lots of times I have to force myself cause I feel so bad.  But I always, always feel much better when I'm done.

I've been going to the gym every day for years, though lots of times I have to force myself cause I feel so bad.  But I always, always feel much better when I'm done.

Yup, exercise always helps me as well.  The getting there part is tough though, walks that is, and yoga.  Maybe I need to sign up to a gym, seriously.

Yes exercise is worth making the effort to do but sometimes it is just so hard to make yourself do.

Nothing to beat even a short walk especially in nature.

I'm off Xanax and tramadol after 10 years of it. Having tightness in chest. Stomach problems too. Worried about it. Detox symptoms? Can't tell. Been having the tightness periodically over the last 4 years. I'll be 62 soon.

Re: Feeling "forgotten" or "rejected"

 

Has anyone gotten the feeling that their friends have abandoned them (as in you have to chase and chase people for dates or outings)?  Is there a rejection feeling with family too?

 

These feelings have gotten really bothersome for me.  I jumped 8 months ago and the sensation just keeps getting worse.  I know benzos cause depression and I am on meds for a long time for that.  However, the rejection/abandonment/chasing is becoming more encompassing and disappointing.

 

Any suggestions to get over this or improve it? Thank you

Hello Jeanermouse,

 

I can most definitely relate to your feeling that your friends have fled.  I have been off work for six months.  At first I called work friends and set up lunch dates.  However, no one ever calls me and I do feel isolated.  I just think if I'm always the one to have to initiate contact whats the point?  I would like it to be a two way street.

 

No one except my kids even knows about my tapering off a benzo.  They are supportive.  This is a hard journey, I'm nearing the end and hopefully these feelings will improve with time. G.

Re friends and family doing the runner!

I feel there's a couple of things happening . I have experienced it as well but maybe to a lesser extent as I shifted cities in the last year of my taper, so have made some new friends..

Sometimes , some of us in withdrawal get particularly sensitive, and I wonder if that's some of what's happening? Life keeps changing and people can be fickle. I have experienced it over and over again. Apart from a few close friends people come and go and if we are not front and centre in their life. I found for myself I was particularly sensitive and aware of it. Like you Gingermint no one knew .I was tapering .. maybe there was a change in me that I didn't realise.. and that's my second point. Maybe somehow we are different to other people , and they don't like that? It's too hard to work out what's happening so they ignore it..

it's a very valid point. Funnily the feeling is similar to when I had cancer. After the first shock drama stage many folks just drop away. It's toooo hard ..interestingly people's personalities isn't it ..

That's why

I love my benzo buddies.. we 'get' each other.. lots of love BB

Benzobertie.  Thanks for the observation with fickle folks (family) - the runners!.  I really appreciate your input because I started to "realize" there was a problem in 2015 which was a year before I started the taper BUT I believe that was because I was in tolerance and began looking at things differently.  I clearly remember "waking up" mentally and wondering what had changed with family/friends!  It's hard not to beat oneself up emotionally with this issue, but it probably is part of healing somehow and getting to a different "place".

 

**Has anyone had luck with addressing the folks who are "ignoring" you by utilizing a direct approach?** 

 

I am torn about doing this with some dear friends and one relative.  "Chasing" people is getting old.  However, I do realize some people like to be "chased" to perhaps feel more important.

 

Thoughts anyone?

Bertie,  I think you hit the nail on the head with your observations.  Thanks for chiming in.  I know during the beginning of my taper and still having significant concussion symptoms, I couldn't tolerate social events.

 

One of my goals as I finish this taper is to cultivate some new friends.  I do still have some tried and true friends I have known for decades.G

 

 

Jennermouse... that's always a tricky one.. do you confront or not.. most people don't like confrontation .. if the friendship means a lot to you and you are truely confused with them not being in touch , then yes , I suggest confrontation . But in a gentle way .. you don't want to put them in a tight spot. If the friendship is an acquaintance type friendship then just leave it ...

one of the key things .I always remind myself , and we can tend to forget ! We don't always know what's going on in other people's life. It could be just as important as what's going on in ours..that's actually a good tool to use for confrontation if that's what you choose to do as well .. an opening sentence around is everything ok for them? You've noticed how you haven't heard from them in a while..?

Sometimes we get consumed by our taper and it is mammoth and it's all about us.. !! That happened to me for a bit ! XxxBB

I get lots of birthday wishes on my birthday but that's all.  No one calls me anymore but I think that's because when anyone called me to do anything I always said no.  So the finally gave up on me.  I still don't feel like going anywhere with anyone yet.  I'm so spaced out that I can't concentrate on anything but myself so I wouldn't make a very good companion.  Maybe one day.

 

I know what you mean. People give up and often they don't know what to  say to you.

They don't understand.

Wow! Disappearing family and friends is a topic that two of my sisters and I talk about. We are all in our late 50's, early 60's, and dealing with difficult life "stuff", health, emotional, etc., but one thing that has struck us is the vanishing people in our lives. Is it possible that we have become so isolated as a culture that we are troubled by others troubles? To the extent that we don't want to be around folks in need? The lack of any real community makes that level of intimacy uncomfortable. One sister tells me when her grandchildren visit, the children and adults do cursory greetings and then everyone is on their electronic devices. I've seen it with my grandchildren. I have to bribe them to get them to spend face to face time with me. Are people forgetting how to interact with one another? And it doesn't help that with every passing decade, I feel I'm becoming invisible! I have read of older women who deck themselves out like Christmas trees because they are determined to be seen. I may try that someday. I started volunteering again and right now it's for half an hour 3 times a week because the "benzobelly" feels like my organs are consuming themselves. I need to interact with people if only to hear their conversation. I can't take the isolation and separation for very long. But I would like to know what the heck is going on. I miss the porches and glasses of iced tea and long conversations as the sun goes down and mosquitos swoop in for a meal(hehe).

Bluetruck - you have a good take on "family" gatherings.  It is spot on.  My hubby and I had to put a basket on our entry table and ask that our GROWN children put the phones in there because it was getting too stupid to even have them over.  Granted taking devices away from the grandkids would really have to come from their folks.......

 

I believe you are right, in general, about society, too.  My biggest dilemma is that we have to "chase" friends for outings.  Seems as though no one wants to initiate gatherings.  However, when I chase these people they are positively responsive 99% of the time.  Go figure........  Are these people really that busy?  Or do they not give a sh*t about interactions for social support?  Or do THEY have the mental health issue (and not us)?    It's weird to say the least! 

I like the basket idea for adult children. I'm adopting that one.  I have a question about all over pain for folks. A year ago I finished a taper off of lamictal, remeron, and low dose abilify. I'd been on these meds for 5 years.  Three months ago I finished a taper off of a 2 mg/day dose of klonopin. I had been on klonopin for 20 years. My whole body hurts. My bones, my muscles, everything. I'm having everyday, all day heart palpitations. The digestive system pain is horrible, burning, rumbling, pain from "stem to stern". I've had all the standard cardio and gut tests and everything came back normal. Of course nothing feels normal. My heart hurts at times, my guts scream at me. I know it's only been three months since my last klonopin. But is there an average time span for when the worst subsides? I research until I can't anymore and this site is the only one where personal voices are expressing their experience of this trial. It's been, truly, my only lifeline. One note. I tapered at my own pace. The psych nurse would have me tapering so quickly that I can't even imagine the level of distress I would have experienced.

I too hurt all over and am wondering if anything helps? I am in the middle of tapering off of Klonopin that I have been for 10 years for sleep issues and a muscle relaxant.  Didnt realize I had become tolerant to it therefore  was put on all kinds of meds for unexplained pain.  Still on Tramadol and Diclofenac but only takes the edge off.

Hoping to someday be off of Klonopin and no longer hurt

WOW- this is such a great group! Very supportive posts! I am 61 and tapered off xanax after 30 years of use. It is great to find people who are in the same boat.I think the challenges are more for us older folks.

Hello Everyone...

 

I'm 63 and on the twelve month off mark after 30+ years. (max dose 20mg valium equivalent). Things are improving all the time, but any healing there is is not obvious as a day-to-day thing. A look-back over a long period is the only way I can tell that stuff has, actually, fallen off the other end.

 

Whichever symptom happens to be shouting loudest sorta claims all the attention on any day and the others seem to slink temporarily into the background, taking turns to come forward.

 

If it's Tuesday, it must be agoraphobia - lol!

 

 

 

 

NightWatch,

 

I'm almost 33 months off and it is a LOT better.  The changes are so subtle you barely see them but, one day you just feel noticeably better.  That's where I'm at right now.  Not healed, but moving forward.

 

Sofa

Thanks Sofa.

 

Very glad to hear you're doing well